


Domino Effect

by The Raven (theravenyesthatone)



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Epic, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:26:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 160,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theravenyesthatone/pseuds/The%20Raven
Summary: Perchance to dream of what dreams may come...---This was one of the last fanfics I wrote before my sabbatical began just over ten years ago. It's also one the longest fanfictions I have written. Grey's Anatomy is not on my list of things that I watch, but I do so love a character study. Enjoy!
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Comments: 47
Kudos: 88





	1. Part 01

**DISCLAIMER:** They are not mine, I'm just rubbing them together to see what happens. The story however, is mine. (as are any original characters or concepts in it)  
 **SPOILERS:** Yes (most seasons one way or another)

  
**By The Raven**

**Chapter 1**

It was just another day when Meredith Grey arrived at work. The morning had gone smoothly and just for once she had slept enough. Or what felt like enough in any case. If she had experienced any sort of dreams she could not remember them and so as she changed into scrubs and into her crisp white coat and checked her pockets, Meredith was expecting just another ordinary day at the hospital.

By the time she had coffee in her hand and was standing in front of the board, wondering what her day would entail, Meredith was completely absorbed in her own persona musings and thoughts. Thus, she failed to notice the arrival of her best friend, Cristina. So, just another day in the hospital, ordinary in every aspect...

"Hey." Cristina said, causing Meredith to jump ever so slightly.

Only years of practise stopped her from spilling her coffee. "Hey yourself." Meredith answered warmly at her friend.

"Addison is here." Cristina offered after she had examined the board with the intensity of a laser.

Meredith blinked at the apparent non sequitur. "She is?" Curious. Derek had said nothing and Meredith was at a loss as to why Derek's ex-wife was at the hospital.

"Yep. And you're on her service today." Cristina helpfully pointed out as she gestured at the board.

"I am?" Meredith answered, turning her attention to the board.

She had simply been drinking her coffee before. Standing in front of the board had simply been an excuse to look busy, nothing else.

As she examined the board with care, Meredith realised that she was indeed in the service of the venerable Addison Montgomery for the day. But why? Addison was no longer on staff here at the hospital. The board was in Derek's handwriting, with evidence of Bailey's distinctive scrawl here and there. Meredith's name was in Derek's handwriting.

Why had he failed to mention this to her?

Perhaps it had been a surprise?

Meredith wanted to know, but suddenly there was an upsurge in energy among the Interns, Residents, and Attending doctors who had gradually gathered in the vicinity of the board. The day was about to begin, and Meredith considered that perhaps today was not going to be an ordinary day after all, despite how it had seemed when she had arrived just a little while ago.

* * *

"Hello, Meredith." Addison said by way of greeting when Meredith moved up to make her presence known.

"Hi." Meredith answered.

How did one address the ex-wife of one's current post-it-note husband anyway? Especially considering the history that they shared.

Addison seemed to be happy with the greeting and without further ado she began to assign tasks to Residents and Interns who had gathered around her. Mainly surgical prep, and somewhat menial seeming tasks that were the usual fare. Curiously enough, she did not provide any for Meredith.

"Come with me." Addison said to Meredith when she had finally finished with the others and then Meredith found herself trailing behind Addison in the hallway as the other woman moved towards the elevators.

By now Meredith was very curious despite herself.

"Get in." Addison's short command brooked no refusal.

Once in the elevator, Addison seemed to make a study of the control panel as if it was the most fascinating thing that she had ever seen. Meredith was starting to feel uncomfortable. She was still more curious than uncomfortable though.

"Where are we going?" Meredith asked as she waited for Addison to choose a button.

It seemed that the other woman was intent on doing some sort of Zen meditation before they did much else. "You'll see." Addison said evasively as she smashed at the buttons and finally the elevator started to move up.

Everything seemed to be going according to plan until the lights flickered, then went out and the elevator came to a sudden jarring halt. Meredith struggled to maintain her footing and grabbed at the walls as Addison failed to keep her footing and crashed to the floor.

"What the fuck?" Addison exclaimed angrily from the floor, and in the darkness Meredith could hear her moving around and moved automatically towards her.

Relieved to contact Addison's warm skin, Meredith resisted the urge to cling and instead proceeded to haul Addison to her feet as they tried to get their bearings. The lift was still and the lack of emergency lights indicated that the hospital generators were occupied in other things. This was not a patient lift, it would have low priority regardless of whatever was going on outside.

"Well, so much for this being an ordinary day." Meredith muttered under her breath as she felt her way to the control panel.

"What do you want to bet that the phone is out?" Addison said from the darkness.

"Well, I have five bucks in my pocket and a stick of gum. You up for it, Doctor Montgomery?" Meredith quipped after she had finally managed to pry open the panel in questions and felt the familiar shape of the emergency phone under her hand.

"Bring it." Addison replied, a smile evident in her voice.

* * *

Ten minutes later Meredith was short five dollars and a stick of gum. Addison was short on smiles. They were stuck in the elevator, the phone did not work and the power was still out. Neither Meredith or Addison rated high on the list of priorities. Sure, someone would miss them eventually, but not soon enough.

"Would it be unseemly if I kicked the walls?" Addison mused from the darkness.

"Last I checked, you were wearing crocs, not steel toes boots. You might break something and I am not Callie Torres." Meredith replied in an absent fashion as she tried to remember what floor they were on.

"You check my feet out?" Addison queried. She sounded very much like the Cheshire Cat that had swallowed the canary.

"Do you have any idea what floor we are on?" Meredith said by way of reply, deflecting the question with a question of her own.

"Hm. I think we were riding for at least a minute before this fuckuppery happened. I don't know." Addison replied and Meredith heard her shift in the darkness. "I was told there would be no math." Addison added, sounding a bit peeved.

Meredith gave up her contemplation of the darkness and moved to Addison, carefully sitting herself down next to the other woman. She might as well get comfortable; they might be in here for a while.

Idly, Meredith noted that Addison smelled of clean laundry with a feint overlaying hint of shampoo. It was comforting to have some sensory information in the darkness. Meredith hoped that she smelled okay. The last thing she needed was Addison Montgomery thinking that she stank.

"Well, what do you propose we do with ourselves as we wait?" Somehow Addison's question sounded suggestive to Meredith's ears.

Clearly she was going mad, and she estimated they had only been in the elevator about fifteen minutes, tops. "Um. Not really. I had not really planned for the contingency of being stuck in an elevator in the dark, actually." Meredith replied, turning her face to look at Addison even though she could not see the other woman.

"Would you mind if we sat closer? It's so dark." Meredith said after a long pause.

Instead of replying, Addison shifted closer and almost snuggled into Meredith. Immediately Meredith felt more at ease and relaxed. Safe almost.

"This is a bit surreal: The ex-wife snuggling up to the dirty mistress in the dark." Addison murmured after a beat passed.

Meredith giggled and felt the last of her tension drain from her bones. So they were stuck in an elevator for however long. They had a stick of gum, five bucks, and each other. Things could be a lot worse.

* * *

Meredith startled awake, unaware that she had dozed off. The space around her was still dark and it was actually becoming oppressive. Reaching for her beeper, Meredith glanced at the display in the dark. There were half a dozen pages, but both she and Addison had put their pagers on silent after a while as it had become annoying to be paged when they could do nothing about it.

However, Meredith was interested in the time. They had been in the elevator for two hours now. A gentle snore caught Meredith's attention and she realised that Addison had also fallen asleep. It's not like they had a lot else to do in the darkness.

"Addison." Meredith whispered.

She figured that her companion would not want to sleep for too long. For one, her neck would be killing her and for two, well they were likely to throw off their sleep schedules. A thing that was vitally important for surgeons to keep track of.

"Tell me you have managed to conjure up some coffee." Addison said as she raised her head from Meredith's shoulder and yawned in the blackness.

"Nope. But when this is over, we'll go get some. My treat." Meredith said as she shifted uncomfortably.

Her ass was asleep.

"We're still here I see." Addison murmured.

"Yep. I have six pages and no cell reception. You?" Meredith replied and rose unsteadily to her feet by feel alone.

"Ten pages, I win." Addison replied as she too rose to her feet. Meredith did not bother to ask her to elaborate on her cell service.

"What would MacGyver do?" Meredith queried from the elevator wall as she considered their predicament.

"He'd hot wire the door with a paper clip, and then create a climbing harness out of duct tape and carpet fibres. All by the end of a single episode." Addison replied, sounding dead serious.

Meredith burst out laughing.

"I don't suppose you have a paperclip?" She asked.

"I am so sick of being here. No offence." Meredith was tempted to kick the elevator.

"Phone's still out." Addison supplied.

"Fantastic." Meredith was starting to feel like she needed to use the bathroom.

Just as well they were surgeons. If needed, they could hold their bladders for hours, but it did not mean it would be fun.

"Have some gum." Addison pressed half a stick of gum into Meredith's hand and for a while the two of them chewed vigorously in companionable silence.

* * *

"I have to go to the bathroom. Damn it." Meredith said once they had finished their delicious chewing gum interlude.

"No talk about bathrooms, Meredith." Addison replied, sounding a bit strained.

"Fine. How about food then?" Meredith felt her temper start to flare as she spoke.

Who knows what on earth was happening in the hospital and this was really too much to deal with. "We need a paperclip." Meredith continued as she started to run her hands along the doors of the elevator.

"I don't think that's going to help." Addison said from right next to Meredith's ear making her jump a foot off the ground.

"Jesus. Could you put a bell on or something before you start sneaking around in the dark?" Meredith almost yelled.

"We need to get out of this damn elevator. Why don't you see if your million dollar hands can do something useful like help me get this door open." Meredith was fed up and it was starting to show.

"Meredith. Unless we are on a floor, this is only going to make things worse." Addison said after a moment, pulling Meredith away from the door.

Meredith attempted to struggle free of Addison's grip, only to find herself enfolded in strong arms and for long, heavenly moments, Meredith felt herself surrounded by peace, the smell of clean laundry, and Addison.

As if summoned by their collective wish not to have to pee on the floor in the elevator, the lights flickered weakly and the elevator stuttered into motion. Meredith instinctively gripped Addison tighter as the elevator came to a sudden stop and the doors opened.

"Come on, before there is another outage." Addison urged and almost carried Meredith out of the cramped space.

Blinking at the bright light after such a prolonged period of darkness, Meredith pointed down the hallway. "Bathrooms." She said in emphasis and the two of them quickly made their way to the bathrooms.

First things first, then they would see what the hell was going on in the hospital that had kept them trapped in a blackout crippled elevator for over two hours. Then there was the no-small matter of coffee, and of food.

As Meredith rushed to an empty stall, she considered that despite the rather odd way that her day had started, it was still not a bad day. For one, she had learned quickly that not only was Addison Montgomery pleasant to be around, she was also good company. Meredith reasoned that if she would have to pick someone to be stuck in an elevator with again, she would choose Addison, hands down.

* * *

"Where were you for the past three hours? It was mayhem!" Meredith had no sooner located Cristina when her best friend posed this question in her usual sharp, undiplomatic fashion.

"Stuck in an elevator with Addison Montgomery. That's where." Meredith replied, sucking down a desperately needed cup of coffee and making sure the pages, voicemail and messages she had received while in elevator confinement were attended to.

"You were stuck in an elevator with Satan?" Cristina asked, looking and sounding quite incredulous.

"Cristina. She's not Satan anymore." Meredith replied absently before wandering away from her friend.

She was still on Addison's service today, so she needed to get her ass into gear and find the Doctor in question. Despite the elevator escapades and the chaos caused by a city-wide power outage, the day was still young and there was lots to do.

Also, she and Addison were scheduled to go have some coffee together at some point in time.

While Meredith sought out her Attending, she considered the fact that she was really looking forward to going out for coffee with Addison. Their elevator bonding had made Meredith realise that she would actually like to get to know Addison better. Much better. Privately she wondered what Derek would think of all of this, but then she considered that she did not really care.

Meredith was an adult, she could choose her own friends and whatever anyone thought about it was of no consequence. Meredith just hoped that Addison was amenable to the idea and that this new-found interest was not just one sided.

That would hurt.

Meredith paused mid-step. _Since when had Addison Montgomery possessed the ability to hurt her, Meredith Grey?_

How bizarre.

Thankfully, Addison had not gotten far and once Meredith made her presence known, Addison was quick to take her aside and tell her that Meredith was going to scrub in for a surgery in a little while.

Apparently they had been on their way to do just that when the power-outage had overtaken the hospital and thrown a wrench into their plans.

Meredith found that she was looking forward to seeing Addison's genius, and hopefully being able to assist her with it tool. Meredith had no illusions about her own abilities in comparison to Addison's, but she knew that she, Meredith Grey, was no slouch when it came to surgery in her own right.

The prodigal daughter of the famed Doctor Ellis Grey had come into her own in the past year and she had the record, reputation and confidence to prove it.

She just hoped that when Addison saw her in action, that she would agree with Meredith's personal assessment of herself. As Meredith carefully scrubbed her hands and arms in preparation for the surgery, she was again overcome with the curious sensation of wanting to get to know Addison Montgomery more. She wanted to know what made the fiery redhead tick and she wanted to see what made Addison laugh. As in really laugh.

Meredith pondered what her therapist would make of all of this for a few moments, and then eventually decided that whatever her therapist might think, did not matter. What mattered was that Meredith herself thought and what Addison thought, too.

* * *

"Grey!" Meredith jumped as Doctor Miranda Bailey came into the scrub room and spat out the word.

"Jesus, Bailey." Meredith gasped as she tried to maintain her concentration.

"No need to be so formal, Meredith. I came to tell you that you must have done something seriously screwed up as Doctor Montgomery requested me to fill in for you for this surgery. So, out." Bailey said without further preamble and Meredith could only blink in confusion.

"What on earth?" She queried under her breath.

She and Addison had gotten along so well in the morning during their enforced confinement in the elevator and after that. So what the hell had happened in the meantime?

Bailey was not going to be forthcoming, this much Meredith did know. Bailey probably had no idea either. It would be Meredith's chore to find out and as Addison was about to start a relatively demanding surgery without her, she would need to wait until later. Maybe they could yell at each other over coffee or something?

Giving up, Meredith made her way out of the area and sought out something else to do. There were labs, classes, patients, and other doctors that she could consult, deal with, and follow around for the next few hours. One thing was for certain: Neither she nor Addison Montgomery would be leaving the hospital until Meredith knew what was going on. Even if she went down in flames, she wanted to know, so she would find out.

As she stormed down the corridors of the surgical wing, Meredith spared a thought for Derek and wondered how his day was going. Then she considered that aside from giving him an update as to where she had been during the morning, she had barely spared him a thought or a word all day.

Today was definitely not turning out to be an ordinary day at all.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Why did you cut me from your service?" Meredith asked without preamble, anger evident in her tone.

"Not that I have to justify myself to you, Doctor Grey, but you undermined my authority, went behind my back and talked to a patient about a course of treatment that I had already gone over with her and which in the end would have injured her health." Addison replied at once, ice lacing her voice.

"You're mad at me for talking to a patient?" Meredith spluttered.

"You did not just talk to a patient. You almost convinced her to forego a surgery that would improve her life an immeasurable amount, but which would probably save her life in the end." Addison said angrily, her temper obviously getting the better of her.

"Her life?" Meredith let disbelief colour her tone.

"Yes. You do realise that in the end, her uterus would have to be removed anyway and if she had followed your advice, she probably would have incurred more damage in the long run." Addison countered.

By now they were in the Resident's Lounge, obviously Addison wanted a measure of privacy. Not that anything stayed private in this hospital for any length of time.

"I wanted her to know her options." Meredith insisted, still not grasping why Addison was so furious.

"She knew her options. She had been struggling with her issues for over five years and her body, from her medical history, had always been at war with her. Some women are simply born with a reproductive system that is hell bent on their destruction!" Addison was right up in Meredith's face as she said this.

"And you're mad at me because I wanted to make sure that a woman who was about to lose every chance that she would have at ever carrying a child, was sure of her decision. This is why you're mad at me, just so I am absolutely clear?" Meredith pushed on Addison as she said this, feeling a measure of satisfaction as the other woman stumbled backwards slightly.

"You just don't get it, do you Meredith?" Addison replied angrily.

"The patient was having fourteen day periods and pain that made her want to die. She was on a permanent course of iron pills that was wreaking havoc with her body. Other treatments had been tried, and they had failed. Nothing else had worked. This was the last and final option and it was almost too late." Addison spoke with a deathly calm, but she had resumed her position right in Meredith's face as she did.

"It's never too late!" Meredith yelled.

"Yes, it is! She had to have a blood transfusion. Not because of the blood she lost to the surgery, but because despite every effort, her bone marrow could not keep up with the blood loss from her period. It was too late!" Addison raised her voice and punctuated her words with angry pokes at Meredith's chest.

It hurt, and it made Meredith angry.

"So, you butchered her because you gave up and now she will never carry a child of her own." Meredith hissed in an angry whisper and grabbed the offending hand, tired of being poked.

"How dare you, Meredith. How dare you say such a thing to me? You know nothing about me, Meredith Grey!" Addison hissed in response, her face only inches away from Meredith's. "And if you had bothered to read back in the patient's history, you would have seen that her uterus was no longer viable. Too much scar tissue and damage from previous attempts to save it." She added after a moment.

Addison made no effort to rescue her hand from Meredith's hand and despite the reasons for their proximity, Meredith could not help but notice how Addison smelled. So different from this morning.

Now she smelled of sweat, and astringents, and surgery and anger. The combination caused something to roil inside of Meredith's abdomen and she lost her focus for a moment before she was able to gather herself back together again.

"I can't have children, Meredith. I may have a uterus, but I am infertile. I know what it means. Don't you ever presume to think that I make or take this sort of decision lightly. And don't you ever undermine me this way again." Addison said after long moments passed in silence.

Meredith felt everything stop inside of her at Addison's words and all at once her indignation vanished and was replaced by something else.

"Don't you pity me, Meredith. I don't want your pity. Spare me it. You took my husband from me; at the very least you could do is let me keep my dignity." The nasty words washed over Meredith and she lunged at Addison who reacted at once, grabbing Meredith's wrists tightly.

Teetering dangerously, Meredith fell against Addison and the two of them stumbled back against one of the benches and the next moment Meredith found herself straddling the good Doctor Montgomery. Meredith gasped as a rush of sensation flooded her body and a heartbeat later before she could think better of it, she leaned in and kissed Addison.

It was not a tender kiss.

It was raw, hungry, angry. Meredith could feel Addison respond and she lost herself in the moment. Addison tasted of coffee and chewing gum and heat and Meredith was addicted at once. As Addison clawed at Meredith's back she could feel herself become wet and knew without a doubt that until this moment in time, she had truly never been turned on. Until right now, she had never truly been alive.

Sanity returned.

Meredith pushed Addison away from her and gasped for breath. "I can't react to you. I can't..do..this." She moaned and stood up shakily.

Without a backward glance, Meredith fled.

Oh, shit...

* * *

_Oh, shit! Shit! Shit! Shit on a stick!_

Meredith practically ran out of the hospital in her haste to get away from Addison and away from the Resident's Lounge, and away from the kiss that the two of them had shared in the Resident's Lounge.

With her thoughts wildly careening in her head, Meredith could only hold onto the last threads of her mind as she made her way to Cristina's place. Hopefully her friend would not be there and Callie Torres would not be too inquisitive if she was there. Meredith needed a safe place to think, and to be. Just for a little while.

_Shit!!!_

Not good. Not good at all. She had just kissed the ex-wife of the man that she was currently married to, or well, married to in the spirit of marriage. Derek and her were not married legally, not that it made any difference. But it was an observation that Meredith's mind insisted on making as she slammed Cristina's front door shut and made her way to the couch that occupied the centre of the living space.

What would happen now?

Addison was due to leave back for California this evening, actually. Maybe Meredith could simply pretend none of this had ever happened? She was sure that Addison would be more than willing to play along with the charade if needed.

Meredith was jolted out of her musings by the sound of her phone.

Without thought she answered the phone automatically. "Hello?" She queried in a distracted tone of voice.

"We need to talk." Addison's voice said succinctly through the tiny speaker of the handset.

"There is nothing to talk about. You are going back to California and I am going back to my life here. End of story." Meredith countered.

"Tell me, Meredith. Tell me this: Tonight, when you finally lay down to go to sleep, or pretend to sleep. What will you be thinking about?" Addison asked in a softly dangerous voice. "Will you be thinking about sutures and surgery? How about Derek, will you think of him? Or will you be thinking about how wet, hot, and fucked up kissing me made you?" Addison continued.

"You don't need to answer, Meredith. I know what you will be thinking about. I will be thinking the same thing you see." With those words Addison hung up and Meredith was left staring at her phone in stunned silence.

_Shit!_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"What's wrong?" Callie asked finally. She had come home a little while ago and unhelpfully told Meredith that Cristina was spending the night at the hospital.

"It's complicated." Meredith finally allowed.

She liked Callie Torres just fine, but she did not know her really well. Not like she knew Cristina in any case.

"Life is pretty complicated, Meredith." Callie allowed and handed Meredith a beer to go with the Chinese food they had ordered a while ago.

Apparently Arizona was also at the hospital for the night, or at least until late, so they were in each other's company for the time being. Meredith found that she did not really mind. Callie was very straightforward and uncomplicated in many ways, but she was also very good friends with Addison, or had been very close to her at one point.

So, that could be an advantage or a disadvantage depending on how one looked at it. "Yes, it is. I would like to have some simple months, or even days, though. Just once in a while." Meredith said after they had both meditated into their beers for a while.

"Listen, I know I am not Cristina, but you look like you are about to explode. I promise not to tell anyone, though I will add a caveat that I will tell Arizona if I need to." Callie's words were comforting.

Meredith was not worried if Callie would tell her girlfriend anything. She was not even thinking about anyone knowing. Not at this stage anyway. Right now the only thing on her mind was Addison Montgomery and the taste of her mouth and the weight of her desire. Fuck.

The fact that Callie was not her person did not preclude the fact that Meredith was desperate to tell someone and Callie would at the very least provide a sympathetic ear until she could find and corner Cristina. If only her best friend was not working tonight, but there was little to do about that now.

"I kissed Addison." Meredith finally allowed.

Callie slammed down her beer onto the table.

"You what?" She spluttered slightly.

"I kissed Addison. Today. I wish I could say I am sorry, but I can't." Meredith repeated, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. "This is so screwed up." She added.

"Honey. You're not kidding." Callie replied and rose to fetch some more beer.

"You have any tequila?" Meredith asked. She was not going to be able to have this conversation without being considerably more loosened up than she was.

"Sure." Callie replied and Meredith listened to the other woman rummage around for the needed ingredients to get Meredith drunk enough to talk.

When she returned and sat down again she was carrying a tray loaded with things and Meredith felt her spirits brighten a little. Maybe this would not be so hard. Also, Callie had herself just recently had a personal crisis when she discovered women. In a way, she made a suitable audience. With some tequila that is.

"Why don't you start from the beginning. I don't have any advice, but at least more than one person will know and maybe that helps you figure out what to do." Callie said after a beat.

Just then the door opened and Arizona walked in.

Meredith closed her eyes again and considered her options as Callie rose to greet her girlfriend. If nothing else she would have a sympathetic ear and she was not concerned that the pair would blab at the hospital.

Despite whatever flaws they may have had, both Arizona and Callie were good people. Meredith considered that she was very happy that they had found each other. She hoped that they would, live long and prosper.

_Great, now I am using Star Trek metaphors. I must have lost my mind today..._

Meredith thought as she waited while Callie found some plates and Arizona settled down with a serving of food and beer. It was sweet and endearing to watch and listen to. And it gave Meredith something else to think about for a few minutes which was a blessing.

* * *

"What are you going to do?" Arizona asked after Meredith had recounted the day's events and had polished off a goodly amount of tequila in the process.

Dinner had been cleared away and now the three of them were comfortably settled together and Meredith discovered that she did indeed feel relieved for having shared her secret. She just wished Cristina was here. There was going to be hell to pay when her best friend learned that she was the third to know this piece of information.

Thankfully Cristina would take it in her stride and she would take Meredith's side, no matter what Meredith did in the end. She was good like that. The intense woman did have boundaries and places where it was not safe to tread, but overall she was the best person that Meredith had ever met when it came to compatibility.

But, that was neither here nor there right now. The issue at hand was the fact that she had kissed Addison Montgomery and she could not think of anything else. She wanted to do it again, but she knew that was impossible.

"I don't know." Meredith said and mentally decided that she needed to stop drinking for the night or there could easily be a real mess to deal with in short order.

"Thanks for listening." She murmured after a beat. "Can I crash here?" She asked and stood up. She would sleep in Cristina's bed if Callie was cool with it.

"Of course." Callie said and with that, Meredith nodded to the two women and disappeared into Cristina's room with no further words spoken.

She might not have any intention of sleeping, but at least it was a quiet space without distractions that would let her think of what she should do next. Meredith did not even consider the fact that it was only in afterthought that she sent Derek a text message telling him where she was and wishing him good night.

Damn that Addison. She had been right. All Meredith could think about was how wet, and hot, and fucked up she had become because of a simple kiss.

Except there was nothing simple about that kiss. Nothing.

* * *

Meredith did not realise that she had fallen asleep when she felt someone shake her awake gently. Opening her eyes she looked around and was momentarily confused as to where she was exactly. Her comprehension solidified almost at once when she realised that Addison Montgomery was leaning over her. What the hell?

Meredith rolled away from Addison and rose to her feet in a smooth movement and blinked at her visitor in confusion. "What are you doing here?" She spluttered, feeling more confused than she thought was possible.

"I'm leaving back to California, Meredith. You are so hard to track down you know that? I only remembered at the last moment that I thought to check to see if you were here." Addison sounded so damn conversational that Meredith was not sure if she should laugh, or scream in frustration.

"Meredith. Say something." Addison said, dark humour evident in her voice.

"Why are you here?" Meredith asked.

She needed answers. She needed to kiss Addison again. She needed to run out into the Seattle night and breathe.

Mostly though, she needed to kiss Addison again and so she kept the bed carefully between them. She could not kiss Addison again. She was with Derek. She was otherwise occupied. This was not happening.

"You wear your heart on your sleeve, Meredith." Addison commented, licking her lips as she did.

Meredith felt her self control slip from her fingers and as she scrambled to regain it, she felt like she was trying to hold onto dry sand on a windy day.

"You need to leave, Addison. Have a nice trip, and a nice life." Meredith managed to say, moving to stand against the wall of Cristina's room as far away as possible from Addison.

"So this is it?" Addison asked as she walked with casual grace around the bed that Meredith was hiding behind.

"Yes." Meredith did not sound convincing to even her own ears.

"I don't believe you." Addison murmured as she came to a stop right in front of Meredith.

"Look me in the eye, Meredith. Look me in the eye, and then tell me you do not want to kiss me again and this will be it." Addison whispered, leaning closer to Meredith.

She smelled of clean laundry again, and of warm skin; she smelled good enough to eat and Meredith shivered despite herself. This could not be happening. Why was this happening to her? Was this karma?

Meredith raised her eyes to look at Addison and at once realised her mistake. It was too late though. She wanted to kiss Addison again, more than she could properly quantify. Chocking against her desire Meredith attempted to speak.

"This..." She half moaned, hating herself for being so weak.

"You kissed me in the Resident's Lounge, Meredith. You can't just do that and then expect to walk away. I have bruises on my shoulders from your fingers and you bit my tongue." Addison's voice purred like a river of silk over Meredith's senses and she felt the last traces of her self control vanish.

"Stop talking." Meredith breathed and grabbed Addison, pulling her closer, not believing what was happening.

Addison did not hesitate and a heartbeat later they were kissing. Oh my God, they were kissing. Meredith felt her bones turn to water as her body gave itself over to sensation. When Addison's tongue pushed its way into Meredith's mouth sanity fled. Hunger replaced reason and Meredith buried her hands in the coveted red locks that graced the other woman's head.

When Addison moaned into her mouth and pushed Meredith into the wall with considerable strength. Meredith could feel herself soaking her underwear and her scrubs with a desire she could barely believe. It was like she was being driven by a force much more powerful than herself.

"I want you." Addison whispered against Meredith's when their kiss broke.

Dizzy with desire and drugged by sensation, Meredith could only lean her head against Addison's shoulder and breathe.

"This can't be, Addison. I can't..." Meredith thought that her own voice sounded pained to her ears as she said that.

"You're words do not match your body, or your eyes, or your mouth, Meredith." Addison replied and then she pressed Meredith against the wall, hard and kissed her again.

"Fuck." Meredith ground out as she gave into sensation and kissed Addison back with all that she was.

It was suddenly so easy just to let go and as she did, Meredith felt the freedom that came with that. Right now, she did not care what that freedom cost her. Right now, she only wanted to keep kissing Addison and to never stop.

When Addison's leg made its way between Meredith's thighs she moaned wantonly and without shame. Startled by her own reaction, Meredith had no time at all to think about it as Addison became more assertive.

Determined not to be a passive partner in the proceedings, Meredith slid her hands up the back of Addison's shirt and drank in her soon to be lover's reaction. Addison was panting now and Meredith could feel them both slipping into a wild frenzy of hear, and passion and primal hunger.

Addison moaned into Meredith's ear and the sound scorched her. She had to feel Addison right now. Had to know. Had to. "Addison." Meredith gasped into the other woman's ear. She was desperate. Either Addison touched her, or she would go mad.

The redhead was not one to dawdle, this much Meredith did know and a moment later, she could feel Addison slide her hands into the waist of the scrubs that Meredith was wearing. One of the hands went around back to cup Meredith's ass and the other slid around the front, almost casually shifting aside panties that were by now a sodden mess before long fingers slid into Meredith's wetness.

It was exquisite. Meredith felt herself melt into Addison as her body ignited into flame from the agonising pleasure that engulfed her.

It was glorious. She never wanted it to end.

Meredith however, was becoming confused by the sensation of falling and as she desperately tried to hold onto Addison to keep herself upright, she suddenly felt the rude impact of the floor which was jarring to say the least.

Opening her eyes, Meredith looked around in confusion. She was still in Cristina's room and it was early in the morning. She was hot, sweaty and she could feel the slick of her own arousal on her inner thighs as she rolled over on the floor trying to get her bearings.

It had been a dream. Fuck!

Meredith sat up, panting and clenching her fists.

Oh my God. She was going insane.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"What's going on?" Cristina asked her the next day. Meredith was doing her best to focus on work but it was proving to be impossible.

Obviously Cristina had heard from Callie that Meredith had spent the night at their place and Meredith knew that until she actually told Cristina what was going on, her friend would not let it rest.

"It's complicated." Meredith hedged as she tried to figure out how to tell Cristina.

"Everything with you is complicated. I mean you are like a human Rube Goldberg machine. So, what is going on?" Cristina continued her line of inquiry relentlessly.

"I kissed Addison Montgomery." Meredith finally whispered, thankful that the hallway they were in was empty.

"You what?" Cristina, bless her, actually looked shocked.

"I kissed her. Yesterday, in the Resident's Lounge." Meredith repeated.

"It's complicated." She added for extra emphasis.

"Complicated? Sounds pretty simple to me. You kissed Addison Montgomery. I never figured you for the type. So, did she give you a toaster oven at least?" Meredith felt some of the tightness that was in her chest abate as her friend teased her.

Just by a fraction.

"Don't ever change, Cristina." Meredith said as they rounded to the board.

"Why mess with perfection?" Cristina said, sounding pleased despite her snark.

"Wait, what about Derek?" Cristina continued.

So much for the tightness in Meredith's chest easing.

"Complicated?" Cristina offered, obviously picking up on Meredith's mood shift.

"Listen, we need to talk. I'll find you." Cristina was very good at interpreting what Meredith needed.

"Okay. Don't take too long." Meredith could hear the note of pleading in her voice when she said that. Cristina was safe though, she would understand.

With that, Meredith gave a little wave by way of goodbye and made her way to find Doctor Owen Hunt. She was on his service today. Meredith was almost relieved as if there was someone in the hospital who had no history with Addison, it was Owen. Hopefully he would be able to keep her distracted for the day.

Meredith desperately needed it. She had to have some mental peace to think.

When she rounded on the doctor, though, she realised that Owen Hunt was not going to be nearly as helpful as she had hoped; he had red hair.

Addison had red hair.

The day was just getting better and better every moment and still Meredith had no solutions or ideas as to what she was going to do about a problem like Doctor Addison Montgomery. Never mind the problem of Doctor Meredith Grey herself.

Fantastic.

* * *

"Is there something wrong?" Meredith looked across the table at Doctor Derek Shepherd.

This man was her de-facto husband, her lover, her friend. He had been her one night stand, and at that point in time, he had been Addison's husband. Her legal husband, actually. The story was of course, much more complicated than that, but the gist of it was there.

And now all Meredith could do was sit and squirm, and try not to shift as nervous sweat trickled down her back and her nerve endings cried out to find Addison and fuck her senseless. The whole experience and the conflicting emotions that it came with was something Meredith was completely unprepared for.

"Yeah. I am okay. Just a lot on my mind and I am trying to work it out. Sorry. It's not about you." Meredith was not really telling a lie, it's just that she was not telling the whole truth.

"Okay. But I am here and listening, no matter what." Derek's sweet reassurance did nothing at all to calm Meredith down.

She resolved to see how much overtime and extra shifts she could do at the hospital so as to avoid facing the reality of home. This was all getting to be too much. As Meredith choked down the rest of her lunch and gulped the last of her coffee, her pager went off, thankfully.

Not even reading the display, Meredith glanced at the device and rose to her feet, eager to just get away, to anyplace. She's be happy to study tissue cultures at this point. She just needed space.

She needed Addison.

This was madness.

Depositing her tray, Meredith took her pager and looked at the display properly and sighed deeply. Owen, with his red hair and intense manner wanted her.

Maybe Meredith needed a vacation? She needed space to think and nothing about the hospital was letting her have it. There were questions, concerned looks and reminders everywhere.

The solution was at once so simple, and so complex. She could go to Addison and work this out of her system and then perhaps be able to move on with her life. Somehow Meredith knew that there would be no working Addison out of her system.

She had taken a sip from the devil's cup, and now she was tainted, corrupted; she was doomed.

Meredith's pager went off again.

Irritated now, Meredith snatched the device from her waist and looked at the display expecting there to be a message from Doctor Hunt. He could get a little impatient at times.

Stopping in her tracks, Meredith blinked at the pager and reread the message again: _We need to talk...._

Addison.

Meredith felt heat floor her body at the words as her senses were immediately engaged in a tug-of-war battle with her sensibilities and she was transported back to earlier in the day to Cristina's bedroom and to her erotic dream, and earlier still to the Resident's Lounge and even the elevator the previous morning. It was sensory overload and Meredith was at a loss as to how to deal with it, or even if she could deal with it.

She was doomed.

* * *

"Spill." Cristina demanded simply.

Meredith had finally been hunted down by Cristina and in an almost unheard of act, Cristina had told her bluntly that she had cleared an hour from her schedule and they were going to talk. It was just that simple.

"I kissed Addison. Yesterday in the Resident's Lounge. I don't know why. We were arguing, and she shoved me, or I shoved her, and then the next moment we were kissing. Or well, I kissed her and she kissed me back." Meredith said in a rush.

"This does not happen out of the blue you know." Cristina said bluntly.

"But, I don't know how it happened but now I can't think of anything else." Meredith replied.

"Spill." Cristina repeated.

Realising that her friend knew that there was more, Meredith sighed deeply. "I had a dream about her last night." Meredith could feel her body flush as she thought about it, as the relived the dream.

"From the look on your face, it was not a dream about surgical procedures." Cristina said after a beat.

"No. I think it was the most erotic dream I have ever had, about anyone. Ever." Meredith put her face into her hands and considered her predicament.

There seemed to be no solution that was going to solve anything. One the one hand, she had Derek. The man that she had signed vows with, albeit written on post-it notes, but vows nonetheless, and with whom she had planned to have a future with. She had signed a contract with him with every intention of keeping it, and now she was seriously and seemingly inevitably thinking of breaking that contract. On the other hand she had Addison, a woman with whom she felt alive and who turned her on more than Meredith had thought possible.

How could this be happening? How could she be thinking of betraying Derek?

How could she not betray him?

The whole situation was making her feel unhinged. Meredith wanted to kiss Addison again. She wanted to feel her, fuck her. Meredith considered that she would not be able to maintain her self control if Addison crossed paths with her again anytime soon. But, Derek was also there.

"How fucked up is this?" Meredith asked Cristina and leaned into her friend.

"It's actually kind of funny." Cristina muttered.

"I mean, you were the other woman, and now she is. Except you're the one they are both after." Cristina continued. "It is pretty fucked up." Cristina concluded.

"And it is funny." Meredith giggled.

"I don't know what to do. It was just a kiss, but it was everything. I had no idea I could feel so completely alive." Meredith felt a sense of panic start to overwhelm her.

"Hey." Cristina leaned in closer to Meredith. "Whatever you decide to do, I love you. You know, in a completely un-lesbo way. Not that there is anything wrong with lesbians or anything." Cristina's words were comforting and for a while Meredith simply absorbed the presence of her friend and closed her eyes.

She had another half hour to go, after all. Might as well make the most of it.

"This is the hug and soothing touch quotient for the year, you realise that right?" Cristina said from someplace close by.

Meredith giggled. "Don't ever change, Cristina. Ever." She whispered and felt rather than heard Cristina's amusement at the words.

* * *

Meredith did not want to go home. It was not that she did not love Derek, or that she did not enjoy his company. But she had other things on her mind right now and if he started to press her for answers, she would be hard pressed to give them.

At the same time, she did need to go home. He was an understanding kind of guy, but he deserved her presence, especially as she had given him no real reasons for her absence the previous night and also, she had pretty much been avoiding him for the last thirty six hours.

She needed to go home.

A quick shower and a change into clean scrubs and Meredith was finally on her way. She needed to eat and she needed to sleep, but right now she could not imagine doing either of those things. Her stomach was in knots and after last night's dream, it was hard to imagine that she would be resting easy any time soon.

What if she was to have a dream like that and Derek was in bed with her?

The prospect was almost unimaginable.

As she crossed her threshold Meredith groped for her phone. She could hear it ringing. With any luck it was the hospital and they wanted her back there. She could do hat. A bit of food, and some coffee and a nap, and she'd be ready for another twelve hour shift. Anything was better than the possible scenarios of being at home could cause.

Answering without looking at her call info display, Meredith slammed the door behind her and made a beeline for the kitchen. "Meredith." Addison's smooth voice spoke right into her ear, causing her to drop her keys.

"Addison. I can't do this. I can't." Meredith started to scan the house for evidence that Derek was home as she spoke.

Thankfully he seemed to still be at the hospital, at least for now.

"You have to." Addison pressed and Meredith could hear her shift on the other side of the line.

Addison was probably wearing scrubs, no doubt reclining in her chair in her office, tormenting Meredith from so far away. "I don't know how." Meredith finally said, admitting to the other party in this problematic equation what the major issue at hand was.

Sure, she had to deal with this. And yes, she would need to handle it somehow, but she could not figure out how, or what to do. She had no idea where to begin.

This was insane.

"Me either." Addison admitted and Meredith sighed.

What a pair they made. "I want to kiss you again. Damn you, Grey, what have you done to me?" Addison said after a protracted silence that was not uncomfortable.

"Goodbye, Addison." Meredith said gently into the phone and then hit the end call button.

She just could not face Addison. Not yet, and it was too easy to be on the phone with her. It was too easy to be around her, and it was too easy to want her. Meredith was supposed to want the life that she had constructed with Derek. She was not supposed to want to get on the next plane and go to Addison and...

Shaking her head with frustration, Meredith decided that she would eat, and then she would go to bed. Tomorrow was another day and it was coming no matter what Meredith did so there was nothing else she could do. Also, as petty as it sounded, she wanted to be asleep, or at least to be able to feign sleep when Derek came home.

Tomorrow was another day, she'd try to deal with the madness then.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Meredith was woken from a dreamless sleep by the bed moving as Derek came home and climbed in. Startled into wakefulness, she tried to get her bearings and calm her heartbeat. It was only Derek. A man she liked, thought she loved, and whom she trusted. It was not Addison, who haunted her dreams, made her breathless with desire and who was driving her nuts even while not being present in person.

"Sorry." Derek whispered and kissed her shoulder.

Closing her eyes, Meredith felt a wave of guilt overcome her.

This was not fair to Derek. He had no idea what was going on and would not know if she could help it. But there was no escaping reality. Her whole world had been turned upside down and it was up to her to figure out how to right it. The thought made Meredith's stomach churn and she wished for dreamless sleep again. Just a few hours of oblivion would give her a little more time to live in denial.

Thankfully Derek seemed to be quite tired and it was only moments before Meredith heard his familiar breathing as he fell asleep. The sound was normally comforting for her but tonight it was disquieting. It was a sound that she had expected to sleep with for the rest of her life and now this.

Technically all that had happened between her and Addison was a simple kiss, lasting only a few seconds, in a situation that made no sense at all. But the reality was that Meredith knew in her heart of hearts that her allegiances had shifted and so had her heart. There was no, _simple kiss_ , about it. The subsequent dream and the obsession and preoccupation that had followed were testament to that.

God, what a mess.

Meredith cursed herself and her impulses.

Except it had not been an impulse. As far as she could remember, the heat of the moment combined with Addison's proximity had instigated a situation where kissing the redhead had seemed as natural as breathing. The fact that the kiss had been reciprocated with such voracity told Meredith that the reasons behind the kiss were very complex and not at all black and white.

Slipping out of bed, Meredith made her way silently to the kitchen. She needed coffee and breakfast and then she would go to the hospital. It was very early in the morning, but there was always work to be done and maybe she could take a nap there. Derek would understand, mostly because he had no idea what was going on and was used to Meredith being moody and complicated.

Bacon and eggs, toast, orange juice, coffee, butter and thick strawberry jam. Perfect. Meredith decided to indulge herself. Food could be a refuge just as surely as tequila and maybe the relatively pure act of making breakfast would soothe her enough to allow her to think without her mind being clouded by variables and possibilities that she could not control and had no real way of predicting.

The real problem was Derek. The fact remained that Meredith did not have any real compunctions about kissing a woman, or kissing Addison for that matter. The issue was Derek. And the shared past and present that the three of them shared. And while Meredith did not have any issues with her burgeoning lesbianism, it was just a little bit odd for her to be experiencing this sort of apparent identity crisis at this stage in her life.

Thankfully her appetite did not betray her and she was able to finish her breakfast and clear up without any mental interruptions. Something was going right at least.

As Meredith washed up, changed and got herself ready to leave, she reasoned that it was not necessarily an identity crisis focused on her apparent bisexuality, or emerging lesbianism. It was most likely simply a matter of Addison being a person who _rang Meredith's bell_. In more ways than one. Addison's gender was pretty much irrelevant, it was because Addison was Addison that this was happening.

And just what the hell was this?

Endless questions and no answers were going to give Meredith an ulcer.

* * *

"Meredith." Doctor Richard Webber seemed to appear at Meredith's elbow out of thin air.

He was a conflicting person in Meredith's life. The man who had an affair with her mother while she had been a small child and the man who seemed to have taken it upon himself to mentor and be a surrogate father figure now that Meredith was an adult. She had mixed feelings about him, but since Derek had taken over the position as Chief of Surgery and Doctor Webber had been forced to deal with his own issues, their relationship had become more sanguine.

"Hi." Meredith said by way of reply, sensing that the man wanted some sort of reaction from her.

He was probably wondering what she was doing in the hospital hours before her shift was due to begin. Meredith wondered if he ever left the hospital himself as he always seemed to be here.

Perhaps sensing that he was not going to get any answers from Meredith, he left after a few more moments and she was left alone with her thoughts in the skills lab. Might as well hone her muscle memory while her mind wrecked itself upon the shores of her conscience.

She needed to talk with Addison.

And she sensed that Addison was not going to let it rest until they did talk. But Meredith also sensed that they would have to conduct the conversation from a distance as Meredith was very sure that if they enclosed themselves into a private space, they would not be talking. They would give into the carnal call and damned the consequences.

Meredith knew this about herself and while she had a feeling Addison was a more restrained person, there was only so much restraint that was possible given this sort of situation. Or so she speculated anyway.

Addison may well be as self controlled as a nun.

For all Meredith knew.

She just somehow suspected that the opposite would prove to be true, and if life had taught her anything it was that following her gut feelings was sometimes a very good idea. However, talking to Addison was going to require that she somehow overcome her paralysis and grow up enough to actually do it. Never mind finding a time and a place for this conversation to occur. And deciding on a method.

* * *

A week later Meredith was still in the same predicament that she had been in a week before, but it was fast becoming unbearable to deal with. Derek was being patient and sweet and part of Meredith simply wanted him to start demanding answers, or to behave in an unreasonable way.

Meredith was being unreasonable, after all. Or she felt like she was being unreasonable anyway.

Addison had not called or paged her, but that meant nothing. Addison had been visiting Meredith's dreams and every spare moment that Meredith had, were filled with thoughts of the redhead.

Cristina was the only one who really knew the extent of what was going on and had even gone as far as to label her the _devil's mistress_. Meredith found it to be darkly amusing. Thankfully though, her work performance was not suffering.

In fact it was improving. Meredith was doing anything and using anything to distract herself and occupy herself. She drew the line at tequila, though. Her liver was still in need of tender handling and she did not want to become her father anyway. She already knew that she could easily become her mother, so it was only through sheer determination that she was trying to keep herself on an even keel.

Right at the moment she found herself assisting Bailey on a complex operation and the intensity of the situation made her blissfully ignorant of whatever else was going on around her. This was the sort of thing that she needed but the nature of being a Resident meant that this sort of work was variable.

After the surgery ended, Meredith found herself at a loss. There were no more procedures on her schedule for the day and she did not want to go home. Maybe she could drum up some extra hours by volunteering her time in post op, or the ER. She needed to fill the hours and she needed not to think.

Rounding a corner, Meredith did a double take and almost stumbled as she saw a striking redhead walk past. The woman was too far away for Meredith to make her out but she was almost certain that it was Addison. Rushing forward, she tried to catch another glimpse but the woman had already disappeared into the bowels of the hospital.

Shit.

Grabbing her phone she quickly paged Cristina. Maybe her friend would have some information. Meredith did allow that perhaps she was jumping the gun and the redhead was simply some other redhead, but logic and reason had very little to do with her emotional state right now.

If it was Addison. Oh my.

Meredith tried to think of ways and places she could avoid the woman and she hoped that whatever the reason Addison was here, if indeed it was Addison, it was only for a few hours at most. There were plenty of reasons for her to come to Seattle, not all of which involved the hospital.

Cristina, bless her, paged Meredith back and told her succinctly that she had no idea if Addison was in the hospital, but that she would let Meredith know if she learned more or if she saw Addison in person.

Great.

Just great.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"Meredith." Hearing her name, Meredith turned to look at Doctor Webber expectantly.

"Yes?" She queried.

Avoiding Richard Webber had become another pastime of Meredith's. The man was far too concerned about her private business and Meredith simply did not want to deal with his possible nosiness right now.

Right now based on how he was looking at her, she was pretty sure he was going to intrude. "I don't want to, butt in, but are you okay?" His fatherly concern might have warmed Meredith's heart another time, but they had a mixed up history and right now Meredith was just not in the right frame of mind to deal with it.

Just as she was about to lie to him and tell him that she was fine, her pager went off. _Saved by the bell!_

"I've got to go." Meredith demurred and walked away.

It was only when she glanced at her pager that she wished that she had stayed with Doctor Webber to talk. It was Derek paging her and he wanted to see her in his office. Feeling frantic, Meredith considered ignoring the page, but knew that if she did it would be a line she had crossed that she would have to explain.

So, with a resigned sigh she made her way to the office of the Chief of Surgery and prayed to whatever God that might be listening that it would not be as bad as her overactive imagination was gibbering about. Might be nothing. Maybe he wanted to tell her something job related.

Maybe.

Knocking once on the door, Meredith stepped into the office and was confronted with her worst fear made flesh. Doctor Addison Montgomery, live and in person.

"Meredith. Thank you for coming." Derek said and base Meredith to enter.

Meanwhile Meredith was consumed by panic, desire, and curiosity, all bundled into one. Fighting to retain her composure, Meredith did as she was told, just for once and came to stand silently somewhat near Derek's desk, but as far away as possible from Addison.

"In two and a half weeks, Doctor Montgomery will be coming to the hospital for a three week consult. She has a patient who is expecting sextuplets and some of the babies are in breach position." Derek was good at getting to the point sometimes.

"The patient is a private patient of Addison's and lives in the Seattle area, so naturally this event will be occurring here." Derek continued.

"I see. And you felt the need to tell me this, because?" Meredith asked in what she hoped was a controlled tone of voice.

In reality she was seething at Derek, angry at Addison, and furious at the as yet unknown woman who was bringing about a situation that Meredith had hoped to avoid, possibly for the rest of her life, actually.

"I felt the need to tell you because you are going to be working on the case with Addison on permanent assignment. Other Residents, Interns, and Attending doctors will be involved, but you will be assigned as a permanent resident for the interim." Derek explained.

"I see." Meredith croaked, even though she really did not see.

"Is that all?" She asked, desperate to get away and to somehow collect her thoughts, what little she had left of them anyway.

Derek seemed surprised at her question and Addison was still carefully avoiding eye contact with Meredith so she had no real idea what the redhead was thinking.

"No, I'd like you to stay for a minute after Doctor Montgomery leaves." Derek answered and Meredith barely controlled the urge to run away.

Addison took her cue and moved away towards the door. Meredith could not help herself and she glanced over at the other woman as she heard the door open. To her delight and dismay, Addison was looking back at her and there was something unidentifiable in her eyes that made Meredith's insides clench.

A moment later, Addison had left and Meredith was standing alone with Derek in his office with a jumble of emotions overwhelming her to the point where she was sure that she was going to have a panic attack any moment.

* * *

"Just what is your problem, Meredith?" Derek asked without preamble.

"What do you mean?" Meredith countered, even though she knew full well what Derek meant by his question.

"You've been acting weird for what, a week now? And right now, you acted as if I had handed you a rotting corpse, not a huge opportunity. So, what is the problem?" The question rankled Meredith and as she tried to keep a lid on her temper, she realised that she was going to fail when it was much too late.

She should have ignored the page.

"You could have asked me before assigning me to this case." Meredith tried to sound reasonable but she could hear her own tone of voice.

"And just what is the problem with this case?" Derek asked, starting to become visibly agitated.

"Everything is the problem." Meredith hissed.

"It's Addison isn't it?" Meredith's blood chilled at Derek's words.

"Are you jealous?" Meredith would have laughed at the absurdity of the statement but really she was just too horrified about the whole situation to react in any seeming normal fashion.

"Don't be stupid." Meredith countered, feeling her blood pressure raise.

"How am I supposed to react, Meredith?" Derek demanded to know.

He had the right to know. Meredith did not know how to tell him. Would she ever be able to tell him?

"You should have asked." Meredith said.

"I don't have to ask, Meredith. I am Chief of Surgery. I delegate and you are going to do this and I don't care what your personal feelings are about it. Be a professional and get to know her and learn to work with her." Derek actually raised his voice a little and then handed Meredith some papers.

"This is a summary of the case." Derek said tersely.

Meredith took the papers and turned and left without another word. How dare he speak to her like that? Chief of Surgery! He should have asked if she was prepared to work for weeks on end with his ex-wife. And as for her feelings about Addison, they were nothing approaching professional and Meredith doubted they ever would be.

As she stalked away towards the Resident's Lounge, Meredith's phone rang.

"I had no idea." Addison said as soon as Meredith answered and despite herself, Meredith felt a shiver travel down her spine in an involuntary reaction.

"No idea of what? You knew you were coming here." Meredith countered as she sat down on a bench in the Resident's Lounge.

"Yes, but it was his idea to assign you to me." Addison murmured.

"I bet you did not try to talk him out of it, though." Meredith accused.

Silence was her only reply and Meredith closed her eyes in despair. "I knew it." She whispered into the phone.

"Meredith..." Addison began.

Whatever she was going to say next was lost as Meredith hung up the phone once more and then burried her face in her hands.

What the hell was she going to do now?

* * *

By that evening, Meredith had calmed down just enough to apologize about her somewhat irrational behaviour towards Derek, but she felt no better for having done so. Hopefully he would, though.

The fact remained, that in her mind Meredith was not being faithful to Derek and while this may have simply been a mental or emotional state, she knew that if she had any sort of private or prolonged exposure to the redheaded doctor, she was going to be in serious trouble. And now she was expected to deal with this complex case and with working together with Addison. All the while attempting to maintain her sanity.

As Meredith got out of bed yet again for another night of interrupted sleep, she wondered if anything would ever be normal again in her life. Not that normal was something that she craved, per se. In her opinion, normal was a setting on a washing machine. It was not a setting that existed in life.

Meredith would have been happy though if she could have had some peace and quiet. Why the hell had she kissed Addison and what on earth had caused that to happen? The obsession she had developed a little over a week ago was not abating, it was becoming worse and it showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.

At this rate she was going to damage her life in an irreparable way.

While Meredith prepared yet another lonely breakfast and watched the world go by outside the window, she was unaware of Derek's approach until she felt his hand touch her shoulder. It made her jump right out of her seat.

"Sorry. I thought you heard me." Derek mumbled, looking sleepy and adorable and Meredith felt her heart clench.

How could she hurt this man? He was well intentioned, somewhat simple, and saw the world in black and white. But he was very good for her, or he had been. In fact, Meredith had been so sure that he was perfect for her that she had improvised a wedding of sorts with him. They were married, albeit not in the eyes of the law, but in the eyes of each other and their friends, and even some of their family members, they were married.

And now this?

What was Meredith thinking?

And yet, the very idea of not following her heart and her impulses and her desire seemed impossible to Meredith.

"You hungry?" She asked, automatically proceeding to make Derek a full breakfast as well.

They had no really eaten together in a while so perhaps this morning they could come to some sort of peace about things, at least for a while. Meredith figured that she should be able to at least do this for him and then maybe she could get back to her own thoughts and he would not worry so much.

Not that he did not have a very good reason to worry, but he would have no idea as to the actual reason behind all of this mess.

Meredith was falling in love with another person, and was falling out of love with Derek. In fact, if she was completely honest with herself, she felt like she had already fallen out of love with Derek. It was a frightening thought and one that confused Meredith terribly.

She could do nothing to stop it though.

A week of trying had been for nought and now she was faced with her dream come true and her worst nightmare all at the same time just as soon as Addison arrived at the hospital in a couple of weeks.

What would happen then?

Meredith knew that she would be unable to resist; it would be the beginning of the end, and the start of a new beginning.

Sighing into her coffee, Meredith tried to quash her feelings and focus on Derek and breakfast. It was the least she could do, for both of them.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The day had come. Addison was due to arrive in an hour and Meredith was already in the hospital room helping her patient settle in. The woman was enormously pregnant and Meredith had spent a considerable amount of time studying her case. If her babies all survived it would be a rare an unusual thing and it would certainly bring even more fame to Addison and notoriety to the hospital.

Over the past few weeks, Meredith had spent considerable amounts of time forcing herself to calm down and trying to learn how to deal with the situation that she had found herself in. Her relationship with Derek was still strained and she was avoiding people who had too many questions about her behaviour.

Cristina had been her rock and not for the first time, Meredith wondered what she would do without her friend. On the other hand, she had made an interesting ally out of Callie and her girlfriend Arizona. While they were not exactly bosom buddies, or spending lots of time talking, Meredith at least knew she had the empathy of a good friend of Addison's and the support of a well liked and respected pair of doctors.

It was not so bad. Except that it was. In forty five minutes or less, Addison would be walking into this hospital room and Meredith would need to be prepared to work with her, intimately for a protracted amount of time.

Meredith was still dreaming of Addison and for the life of her, she could not _get it up_ for Derek right now. It was only because he was sweet and considerate and relatively adaptable to her moods that he did not seem to be protesting too much about it, but Meredith still felt guilty. They had, up until about a month ago, shared a healthy sex life and now, well, it seemed that Derek was simply a weight in the bed with her.

It was disquieting, to say the least.

Try as she might though, Meredith could not imagine being intimate with Derek. Of course, depending on how this situation resolved itself, perhaps she would not have to consider the need to be intimate with him ever again. It was a sad thought and it brought home to Meredith once again just how severe and confusing this whole situation was.

"Okay, Mrs. Bulfinch, you're all set." Meredith said to her patient. "Doctor Montgomery will be here very shortly to answer any further questions that you may have." She added.

"Thank you, Doctor Grey. You've been very helpful." Meredith smiled slightly at the automatic response.

Hopefully in time the woman would warm up to her, but until then Meredith was content with social niceties. Whatever made life a little less complicated suited her just fine. Turning back to the chart in her hand, Meredith double checked everything, glanced at the various machines and monitors that were safeguarding her patient and then excused herself.

She needed to try to collect her wits. Addison would be arriving any minute and it was going to be emotionally chaotic, whatever happened next.

* * *

"Mrs. Bulfinch likes you." Addison said by way of greeting some time after she had been in to visit her patient.

"Good." Meredith managed, feeling her face flush in reaction to Addison's proximity.

Meredith swore she could almost feel the intensity vibrating off the other woman. It was playing havoc with her body and Meredith had no real idea how she was going to be able to deal with this for weeks.

Surely her adrenal glands would give out after a few days, or that was how it felt anyway.

"Meredith." Addison said quietly.

Feeling her emotions starting to choke her, Meredith moved away from Addison and walked away. She was not technically needed anymore, it was the end of the day. However, Addison had not dismissed her so Meredith could only really go as far as being available would let her.

Pushing her way into a supply closet, Meredith looked around at piles of linens and hospital garments and leaned against the cool wall of the room, trying to collect herself. how was she going to do this? Being around Addison for even a few minutes was almost too much to handle with and she had days of this to deal with now. How was she going to manage it.

Absorbed as she was in her own thoughts, Meredith failed to notice the door opening until she heard it close. Looking up, her breath caught when she realised that Addison had entered the small space. Meredith wanted to run, she wanted to run and never look back. But her feet were frozen to the ground and she could only swallow nervously as Addison came closer.

Suddenly she did not want to run. The seesaw of emotion that possessed her these days was becoming difficult to deal with.

"You can't keep running, Meredith." Addison said softly.

* * *

Meredith rolled her shoulders, feeling tense. Her pulse was racing and she wanted to cry. She wanted to bury herself in Addison and she wanted to scream.

By now, Addison had moved well into Meredith's personal space and Meredith was forced to grab the sides of her scrubs to stop herself from grabbing Addison and never letting go of her.

"Stop running." Addison ordered and Meredith felt gentle fingers touch her chin as the other woman leaned in and kissed her lightly.

For a heartbeat, Meredith did not react, but then her hands came free from her sides and wrapped themselves around Addison and pulled on her as the kiss deepened. Opening her mouth, Meredith invited Addison in and the redhead did not refuse.

Stunned by desire and overwhelmed by the tenderness of the moment, Meredith felt herself begin to cry. The taste of Addison and the burn of desire in her body was joined by the taste of salt as Meredith tightened her hold on Addison and pulled her even closer.

Addison tried to pull away, reacting to Meredith's tears, but Meredith was not going to have any of it. She pushed Addison against the towels and sheets and kissed her with all the sadness and desire that she had. This may well be the last time she ever kissed Addison. The thought made her cry harder, and finally she had to break the kiss as she was gasping for breath.

Leaning against Addison, she allowed herself a few more moments of bliss and closed her eyes to simply absorb and memorise the moment.

"Meredith." Addison's voice was hoarse with emotion, with desire and Meredith moaned softly at the sound, her fingers clenching tighter into the crisp white jacket that the other woman wore.

It was too much.

"I can't do this Addison, but I don't know how not to." Meredith whispered, pulling herself away and buried her face in her hands for a moment.

"I'll figure out how to work with you. Don't worry." She whispered and turned away.

"Don't I get to say anything?" Addison queried, her voice sounding almost broken.

Meredith turned back to Addison and decided that she could not face whatever Addison wanted to tell her.

"No." Meredith said simply. "Not right now anyway. I need to figure out how to hear what you have to say." She added.

It was too late. Meredith knew in her heart of hearts that there was only heartache in store for her and that no matter what she chose or how she did this, either Derek or Addison was going to be hurt as well.

* * *

"What's up, oh Mistress of the Devil?" Cristina asked when she caught up with Meredith a little while later.

Meredith was preparing to leave and was slowly changing in the Resident's Lounge and contemplating her predicament as she did so. "I kissed Addison, again." Meredith supplied by way of explanation to her friend's query.

"Geez. You're just a glutton for punishment, aren't you?" Cristina said as she prepared to leave.

"Says you, who's dating Mister PTSD." Meredith countered.

It was a lame comeback but Meredith was out of ideas. The only thing she truly wanted to do was find Addison and kiss her again, and somehow be able to deal with Derek in a way that would save his feelings.

She knew it was impossible to have both wishes come true, but it never hurt to hope.

"Speaking of people, I overheard Addison talking to Callie on the phone earlier. Satan is really messed up by this too, if that is any consolation." Cristina offered as the pulled on her coat.

"It's not, really, but at least I know that the issue is not just one sided." Meredith extrapolated after a moment.

"It's not. The good Doctor Montgomery has it bad. I think as bad as you do, actually. Worse even." Meredith looked up at her friend.

"Great. What am I going to do about Derek?" She asked, mostly in a rhetorical way.

"No idea, but I'll help you hide the bodies. What are friends for?" Cristina said flippantly before she wandered out of the Resident's Lounge leaving Meredith alone with her thoughts once more.

Meredith closed her eyes and was brought back to the store room just a few hours before. Kissing Addison had told her what she needed to know about herself and it has simply confirmed what she already knew.

The only choice was to follow her heart, but in doing so she was going to hurt people she really did not have any reason or desire to hurt. But if she did not choose, she was going to tear herself to pieces. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

"Was it really that bad?" Derek's question came out of the blue, startling Meredith out of her thoughts.

"Was what really so bad?" She asked without thinking.

"Working with Addison." He elaborated.

"You should have asked me." Meredith sniped in response and sighed.

Was there no escape for her?

"That would have been showing you favouritism." Derek said simply.

"I know, but here in private, you could have warned me, asked me, or at least given me a hint about it." Meredith said tiredly.

"Why do you have such a problem with this? And what is the matter with you? You have not been yourself for the past month." Derek sounded frustrated and Meredith presumed that this was going to escalate into an argument.

"Not everyone has a black and white outlook on life, Derek." Meredith replied through gritted teeth.

"I'm your husband, Meredith. But you spend more time with Cristina and when you're not talking with her, or hanging out with her, you're at work, or sleeping. You're doing everything except telling me what is going on or spending time with me." Derek countered.

"Don't you bring Cristina into this." Meredith knew her temper was making her unreasonable and that she was hearing only part of what he was saying no matter how reasonable he apparently was.

"Why not? You might as well be married to her instead of me." Derek's angry reply snapped the last of Meredith's nerves.

"Not everything about me has to focus on you, Derek. Get over yourself and, leave Cristina out of this. If you make me choose, you will lose." Meredith stood up as she said this and moved away from Derek.

He caught her arm as she passed. "Why are you running away? You're always running away." He demanded, trying to hold her in place and look into her eyes.

"Let go of me." Meredith demanded icily.

Derek's eyes widened and he let go of her arms at once, stepping back. Wordlessly Meredith moved towards the bedroom, intent on getting showered and getting out of the house. She knew that she was going to have to confront Derek and that by now there was probably damage to their relationship that would take time to repair.

The fact of the matter was though, that Meredith was unsure if she wanted to repair their relationship. What she wanted, was to kiss Addison. She wanted to get to know the redhead. She wanted her life back.

Her life now demanded that Addison was entwined with it.

Could she make it happen? Would she have the courage to do the right thing?

What the hell was she doing?

* * *

Two days later found Meredith at Joe's with Derek. They were trying. Or rather, Meredith was trying and Derek was being Derek; bland, sweet, good looking. No longer the perfect person for Meredith. But she was trying.

Tequila made it easier.

Mostly she was happy that Derek was happy to be doing something seeming normal with her. Perhaps this would keep him happy for a while and give her some space to think and to work. She knew that it was only a matter of time before things came to a head and she would have to face reality, but anything she could do to delay this would be good. Denial was not just a river in Egypt.

Not that Meredith was in denial, she was just trying to hide from reality. Pathetic.

Something in Derek's posture caught her attention and Meredith followed his gaze and almost dropped her drink she spied Addison enter the bar with Doctor Mark Sloan, the local lothario of the hospital. Meredith felt her hackles rise when Addison laughed at something that Sloan said. She knew that the two of them had a long and complicated history that involved Derek and his previous marriage to Addison.

It did not help.

Excusing herself Meredith made her way to the bathroom, only barely avoiding the urge to look back. She thought that if she did look back that her head might explode and brains and rage would splatter everywhere.

Meredith was not stupid. She knew that she was experiencing jealousy. Seeing red by the time she arrived at the bathroom door, she managed to not slam it open and made her way inside, her breathing almost out of control.

How could Addison effect her this way?

Two kisses, a few looks and a few hundred words, and this was the result?

Fuck.

Maybe Cristina was right and Meredith would need help to hide the bodies.

* * *

Meredith was not aware how much time passed before the bathroom door opened but when it did she somehow knew that it was Addison who had joined her. She also heard Addison latch the door and in the tight, enclosed space she swore that she could hear the other woman breathing.

"No more running, Meredith." Addison said by way of greeting.

"How is your date with Mark going?" Meredith asked, hearing her voice but not really recognising it.

She sounded strangled, almost.

Addison sighed and moved closer to Meredith. "Considering that you are with Derek I don't think you are in a position to judge." Addison said, the calm of her voice not fooling Meredith for a moment.

"Funny, it seems Mark was the catalyst that ended you and Derek." Meredith said casually, knowing that she was gauging at an old wound.

Anger flared in Addison's eyes and Meredith felt her breath catch at the sight.

"And will be the end of us, Meredith?" Addison was by now standing very close to Meredith.

"I doubt it. But what exactly are we, Addison?" Meredith asked.

"If you would stand still for a moment, maybe we could figure it out." Addison offered.

"I can't. I don't want to deal with this!" Meredith raised her voice, feeling her self control unravel even more.

"Well that's nice, Meredith, but there is more to this than just you and your feelings. What about my feelings? What about how I feel? How dare you assume that you are the only one who is struggling and having to deal with issues, I never figured you for being stupid!" Addison was shouting now, though not loud enough for it to carry outside of the bathroom, hopefully.

"How do you feel?" Meredith asked, trying to get her libido under control.

Seeing Addison's anger roused was having a completely unreasonable effect on her and she was dangerously close to throwing all sanity and any caution to the wind.

"I feel like I could fall in love with you." Addison whispered, standing in Meredith's personal space now. "This is impossible." She added and Meredith could almost taste her, she was so close.

"Then we have to stop." Meredith murmured in response, feeling Addison's breath on her own lips.

"Tell me to stop." Addison said quietly, curling herself around Meredith.

Meredith did not such thing, rather she wrapped her arms around Addison and pulled her in hard and kissed her like it was the first time and the last time she had ever done it. Addison moaned into her mouth and the sound and feeling of the moan broke something free in Meredith.

Addison seemed to sense the change in Meredith and suddenly Meredith found herself pushed against the wall of the bathroom and the moments drew out in a series of slow heartbeats that were filled with feeling. Too much feeling. Then, just as suddenly as it had began, it was over.

Untangling herself from Meredith and pulling away, Addison looked at her with sad eyes. "I will not be your dirty mistress, Meredith." She said between heaving breaths and Meredith felt her heart break a little more.

Pulling a willing Addison close once more, Meredith wrapped herself around the redhead and hugged her, holding tight like if she did not, her grip would falter. And her heart would break completely. She could feel Addison's heartbeat and for long moments there was peace.

"Goodbye, Meredith." Addison whispered into Meredith's ear and then she was gone with only her taste in Meredith's mouth and the indelible mark on Meredith's heart as evidence of her having been there at all.

Alone again, Meredith slid down the wall and buried her face in her hands. She could feel her raging pulse and her deep sadness and she felt so totally and completely lost now that Addison had left.

"I think I could fall in love with you too." Meredith said into the empty room as she finally managed to haul herself to her feet and move towards the sink to clean herself up.

The idea of joining Derek in the after this seemed impossible. Yet sooner or later, she was going to have to face Derek. Probably sooner.

It was already too late for later...

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"At this stage it is as safe as can be expected to deliver the babies, but we are going to try to hang on for two or three more days." Meredith was prepping Mrs. Bulfinch for an ultrasound scan as Addison explained the situation to her.

So far the day had gone fine. Meredith had worked in other areas of the hospital for a few hours and now was working with Addison and this complex case. Mrs. Bulfinch seemed to have warmed to Meredith and this was good. A patient had to have confidence in her doctor, especially an expectant mother. Any other option was really a recipe for misunderstandings at best, and complications at worst.

"Doctor Grey is going to set up the ultrasound and I will be back in five minutes, I need to make a phone call." Addison explained gently and with that she left.

Meredith worked in comfortable silence for a while, doing her best to warm up the ultrasound gel and getting ready to drape Mrs. Bulfinch's enormous abdomen so as to try to preserve her comfort, body temperature and modesty as much as possible.

"Ready?" Meredith inquired gently.

She quite liked Mrs. Bulfinch. Also, the truly unique thing about this patient, was that her sextuplets were the result of natural fertility. "Yes, I am." The woman's reply told Meredith that it was not only ultrasounds that she was talking about.

Meredith applied the slightly warmed gel and proceeded to gently rub the ultrasound wand across the swollen flesh before her. Her mind automatically catalogued the locations of the crammed babies and she begun to decipher heartbeats, possible genders and other items of interest.

Absorbed as she was in her task, Meredith took a moment to realise the chilling indications that the ultrasound was telling her until she had almost missed it. Fighting to keep her face neutral, she gently scanned the wand back and started to count heartbeats again.

_Where was Addison?_

"Okay, Mrs. Bulfinch, I am going to cover you up and go find Doctor Montgomery. I will be right back." Meredith fought to keep her voice neutral and then proceeded to make her patient as comfortable as possible.

Thankfully Mrs. Bulfinch seemed to be content with her position in the bed and had not picked up on the stress in Meredith's voice.

Small mercies.

Walking out of the hospital room, Meredith immediately located Addison and made a beeline towards her. "I need to talk to you. Now." Meredith said, completely ignoring protocol and oblivious to the fact hat Derek was standing right next to Addison.

"Yes?" Addison seemed to sense that Meredith was on a mission and did not call her on her tone or choice of words.

"I can only count five heartbeats." Meredith said, her voice flat and emotionless.

"What?" Addison's eyes betrayed her shock and surprise. "Are you sure?" She queried. It was a fair question.

"Yes." Meredith answered.

"How can you be sure, this is not your specialty." Derek cut in and Meredith turned towards him, shock evident on her face.

"Counting to six hardly requires a degree, Doctor Shepherd." Meredith's voice was cold as she spoke. "Do you really think that I would rush out here and report this if I was not certain of my findings?" Meredith bit out angrily as she continued.

"Doctor Shepherd." Addison said, her voice carefully neutral. "Doctor Grey has been an excellent assistant in this matter and her aptitude for the field is evident. While I will of course, double check her findings I am confident that they are accurate." Addison seemed to sparkle with barely concealed ire.

Meredith was perplexed at best. Why was Addison taking her side in this matter? It was a big deal to defend a resident to the Chief of Surgery.

Derek, perhaps sensing that he gonads were outnumbered two to one, backed down at once and then excused himself with the request that Addison update him as soon as she knew anything for certain.

"You need to book an OR, Derek. I am certain that Meredith is correct." Addison said pointedly before she grabbed Meredith's arm and walked them back towards Mrs. Bulfinch's room.

* * *

Why had Addison defended her so voraciously? The question plagued Meredith as she followed the other doctor back to the patient's room.

What did she want? Had she chosen Meredith over Derek? And what about Mark?

So many questions that were distracting Meredith. Forcing herself to focus she helped Addison with the ultrasound prep again and a few minutes later she watched as Addison assessed the situation for herself.

When had she learned to read the subtle play of emotion on Addison's face?

"Mrs. Bulfinch." Addison began as she packed up the machine and rearranged the blankets around her patient.

"Is there something wrong?" The woman sounded afraid, and Meredith wondered where her husband was.

"We are going to have to bring up the surgery." Addison continued and Meredith could hear the slight edge of stress in her voice.

She would not want to play poker with Addison, she'd lose her shirt. Perhaps she did want to play poker with Addison, actually.

"We have lost a heartbeat." Addison said sadly, but her voice was full of compassion and reassurance.

"What?" The woman visibly paled and Meredith cast a nervous glance at the machines that were monitoring her.

"It may simply be that the ultrasound cannot detect it. It was there last night." Addison added. "We will call your husband in and then begin preoperative procedures." Addison nodded to Meredith who went to inform the nurses, Derek and the department of paediatrics.

She had just ended a series of phone calls when Addison walked up to her. Meredith was still nervous as to Addison's motivations. "What do you want from me, Addison? Why did you defend me against Derek?" Meredith asked without preamble as soon as they had a measure of privacy.

"You're a good doctor, Meredith. I defended you because that has merit. Stop reading into everything." Addison sounded tired. "As to what I want. Meredith, I wanted you." The redhead added and with those words she collected her papers.

They needed to get ready for surgery.

* * *

"Ready?" Addison queried and Meredith nodded solemnly, her face obscured by the surgical mask that she wore.

Standing by were neonatal intensive care nurses, ready to receive the babies. Also, a whole hoard of other staff, nurses and technicians, all ready to do whatever Addison or Meredith needed.

It was time to begin.

Meredith watched as Addison worked quickly. Despite the gravity of the situation, the actual caesarian had to be performed quickly as otherwise the babies would be too affected by the anaesthetic and that was dangerous.

One baby. Addison cut the cord and handed the child off while Meredith acted as a second pair of hands.

The second baby was handed off a moment later. They were all so tiny.

"This is the child with no heartbeat. Doctor Grey, confirm and call it." Addison said simply and handed the child to a waiting nurse.

Quickly Meredith confirmed that the child was indeed dead and called it. There was no time for emotion just yet.

The next child was apparently healthy but as soon as Addison looked it, she nodded to Meredith and indicated that she was to go with the nurse and attend to the child.

"Page Doctor Robbins." Meredith called out and immediately moved to care for the baby.

An examination told Meredith that the child had an obstruction in its throat. A serious one. "Prepare for tracheotomy." Meredith said succinctly.

"Doctor Grey." Derek's voice called over the intercom.

"Doctor Grey, you will wait for Doctor Robbins to perform this procedure." Meredith glanced at Addison and received a nod from her.

Ignoring Derek and devoting her whole attention to the infant in her care, Meredith gathered her focus and felt the world melt away as she worked. Thankfully the nurses were highly trained and she did not have to ask for anything. Every second counted and Meredith did not waste a single one.

Arizona arrived in record time, but it would have been too late for the child and Meredith, Addison and Arizona all knew it.

"Doctor Grey, when you have scrubbed out see me in my office." Derek's voice was flat even though the tinny speaker of the intercom then there was silence.

"We will perform a hysterectomy now." Addison said. "The patient has requested it." Addison added and Meredith focused once more on the patient. Right now she could do nothing about the children, or the tracheotomy, or the dead baby.

She could however, do this.

* * *

"Just what do you think you were doing?" Derek asked without preamble as soon as the door to his office was closed.

"Saving that child's life." Meredith replied coldly.

"You were not qualified to do that. If something had gone wrong, the consequences would have been immensurable." Derek continued as if Meredith had not spoken.

"By the time Arizona arrived, the child would have either been dead, or severely brain damaged. How about that for consequences, Derek?" Meredith hissed, not believing that she was defending herself against Derek for actions that two highly qualified doctors and a room full of other medical staff had praised her for.

"It was not your call to make." Derek countered.

"Yes, it was." Meredith said and turned to leave and a moment later she was back in the corridor.

Unbelievable.

"Meredith." Great, more problems.

"What?" Not in the mood to play nice anymore, Meredith was starting to feel like she wanted to kick walls.

"Come with me." Addison herded Meredith along the corridor and they found an empty room.

"You did the right thing." Addison said without preamble. "Without you, the baby would have died, or been severely retarded." Addison added.

"I know. You know, Arizona knows. Even the anaesthesiologist knows. So what the hell is Derek's problem?" Meredith was too worked up to really notice her physiological reactions to Addison's presence.

"You've not been yourself for a while now, Meredith. He's a good guy, but he can have a hard time seeing life in shades of grey and keeping his emotions out of work." Addison offered.

"Great." Meredith sat down on a chair in the room and burried her face in her hands.

"What are you doing to me?" She asked Addison after a few moments.

"You're doing this to yourself, Meredith." Addison answered. "You need to choose. You must stop sitting on the fence." Addison sounded tired, sad.

"I am leaving tomorrow. The patient is stable and there are lots of doctors here in case something comes up that can't wait for my return." Addison said after some more silence had passed.

"Leaving? But, what about the babies?" Meredith asked.

It was not the question that she really wanted to ask, though. What she wanted to ask was, what about me?

"Not my department. I have spoken with the patient. She is happy to have you do her follow ups in the hospital and she has a private doctor once she gets out." Addison answered.

"Is this because of me?" Meredith asked, standing up and moving towards Addison.

The pull of the other woman was so strong. Meredith wanted to kiss her, and hold her. Meredith wanted to have Addison and she wanted her forever. But it was not that simple. It was not only about what she wanted; there were other considerations.

"Don't." Addison said firmly just as Meredith was leaning forward, intent on getting one more kiss.

"Why?" Meredith asked, not really understanding Addison's reluctance.

"I will not be your dirty little secret, Meredith. You have to choose. Me or him." Addison replied. "My mother is a lesbian, but she lived a lie for decades with my father. I will not do this, not even for a minute." Addison continued.

Meredith was stunned by this information. It seemed that they both had some serious baggage when it came to their mothers. Despite herself, Meredith wanted to know more about Addison's mother, but now was certainly not the time to ask.

Would there ever be such a time?

"I want to believe in this, Meredith. But I have already played and lost once before. I lost to you with Derek. I am not going to put myself into the position of being so easily hurt again. I will not be second choice and I will not fight to be first. I can't. Not anymore. Not again. Not this time." Addison extrapolated and Meredith fought the urge to cringe and close her eyes at the steel fist in velvet glove approach.

"You have to make a decision, Meredith and every day and every moment you wait and think the decision will make itself is going to make it more and more impossible to make. Right now you are lying, to Derek, to me, and to yourself." Addison seemed to come to the end of her lecture with the words and Meredith felt an equal measure of guilt and relief at that.

"Don't wait too long." Addison sounded like she was in pain as she spoke those final words and Meredith could only watch as she left the room and left Meredith alone with her thoughts.

She had to choose, but she had no idea how to do it. But she had to. This she did know. It was not fair to Derek, it was not fair to Addison and most of all, it was not fair to herself.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Addison was leaving. Meredith had no idea where she was but somehow she wanted to talk to the redhead before she went. She had no idea what she would say to Addison, but she somehow wanted to say something.

Where the hell was she?

A quick page to Cristina came up negative and she even inquired from Callie where Addison might be and came up blank. That meant that she would have to find the other woman herself. But where the hell was she?

Thankfully Mrs. Bulfinch seemed to be settled for the time being and she was not needed at the moment. A psychologist, her husband and a whole band of medical staff were attending to the woman. Meredith considered that perhaps in time she herself might seek out some therapy with regards to the whole incident, but she doubted it.

She'd just talk with Cristina about it.

Where was Addison?

In her frantic search Meredith almost barged right into the lab but caught herself just in time when she realised that it contained not only Addison, but Bailey.

Bailey?

"I don't know what to do." Addison's voice carried through the partially open door faintly.

"It would seem to be that you have a predicament, Addison and you better work a way through it." Bailey's voice carried more clearly. Hardly a surprise.

"But I don't know how? She is sitting on the fence, driving me crazy and confusing Derek to the point where he is being combative towards her. Can you believe that? " Addison sounded desperate.

"It takes two to tango. Grey may be indecisive, but you are probably not making her decisions any easier." Bailey pointed out.

Meredith had heard enough. Opening the door she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

"Oh, no. No, no, no. Do I look like a couples counsellor? No. We are not doing this, not here and not ever." Bailey said as soon as she had registered Meredith's presence.

"But.." Meredith tried to get a word in edgeways.

"Now look here, Grey. I do not want to be the Oracle that people come to whenever they feel like they are in some sort of conflict. And you two? My goodness. Will you two just decide to go for what you want and leave the rest of us poor souls to be miserable as we can't seem to find our happiness?" Bailey was downright comical.

Meredith knew that Bailey had found a measure of happiness with her hot gas man and was planning on making that relationship more serious, but she decided that now was not the time to mention that.

"I am going to go now and when I come back the two of you will not be here. You will have either kissed and made up and are living happily ever after, or you will have decided to be cowards and have slunk away in awkward silence." Bailey slammed shut the book that she was using and without another word she marched out of the room

As Addison and Meredith stood there in stunned silence, Meredith giggled a little. "I think she likes us." She murmured and looked at Addison shyly.

"You know how to reach me, Meredith. I have a plane to catch." Addison did not look at Meredith before she too left the lab and closed the door not too gently behind her.

Great.

* * *

Two days later Doctor Richard Webber finally caught up with Meredith as she sat in a conference room doing paperwork. It was the less cheery part of being a doctor. Paperwork and more paperwork. But, if anyone tried to get away with not doing it, the hospitals legal department would be all over them and that was infinitely worse.

"Meredith." Richard said by way of greeting and placed a cup of coffee before her before he sat down.

It was clear that he was not going to let her run away this time.

"What can I do for you, Richard?" Meredith asked, looking up into the eyes of the man who had loved her mother and with whom she had such a mixed history.

"I loved your mother, Meredith. If I had possessed the courage your history and my history, and even the history of your mother might have been different." Meredith could hear the regret in his voice as he spoke.

It cut at her, despite her desire to remain impartial.

"I am not your father, Meredith. But as someone who would like to be your friend, and as a friend who would like to see you happy, I will say to you that you should follow your heart." Meredith wondered just exactly what Richard knew.

"Don't go for duty, or obligation. Don't think so hard about what is right or what will cause the least amount of waves. This is your life, Meredith. Your life." He seemed to be finished and as they sat and sipped their coffee in companionable silence, Meredith decided that as far as semi-father figures went that perhaps Richard Webber did not make a bad one.

"Don't live a life of regret and what ifs, Meredith." He added after a long pause and then rose to his feet and left without another word.

Meredith stared after him, her thoughts going at a thousand miles per hour as she considered her options and tried to decide what to do.

Taking out her phone, she quickly fired off a message to Addison before she could change her mind.

_I want to talk to you. Let me know when you have the time and privacy and I will call you._

Glad that she could not take the message back, but breathless and scared about the prospect of calling and talking to Addison, Meredith tried to focus once more on her paperwork. Maybe she could go to Cristina's tonight, in case Addison could talk. She did not want to have this conversation anywhere that reminded her of Derek or where he could interrupt even by accident.

It was time for her to do something, she just hoped that she could do the right thing.

* * *

"Hello?" Meredith felt a rush of adrenalin when she heard Addison's voice over the phone. She was in an On Call room laying down and had made sure to bring along her charger for the case that it would be needed.

"How was your day?" Meredith finally asked after listening to Addison breathe for a few minutes.

"Small talk, Meredith?" Addison queried, a smile in her voice.

"Give me a break. I'll get to big talk soon enough." Meredith countered quickly.

She was rewarded with a chuckle on the other end of the line.

"What do you want, Meredith?" Addison finally asked.

"I want you." Meredith answered and heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

"You could have me, Meredith." Addison supplied after a beat.

"I don't know how." It was not the truth. Meredith did know how, she just did not know how to gather the courage to do this.

"Well, you had better figure that out before it is too late." Addison's voice sounded close and Meredith fancied that she could hear the other woman shift.

"Are you in bed?" Meredith asked before she could think better of it.

"Yes. I am." Addison said and Meredith felt herself get hot at the thought.

"Breathe, Meredith." Addison laughed at her from so far away.

"You make it kind of hard, Addison. I don't know how you scrambled my brain so completely, but you did." Meredith took a deep breath and forged forward. "I want to somehow make this work between us." She continued.

"My day was fine, Meredith, and I want this to somehow work between us as well. But simply saying the words is not enough. Things have to happen." Addison cut her off gently.

Meredith threw her head back and sighed. It was true. She needed to get off her fence and somehow face the music.

But how?

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Two weeks passed mostly smoothly. The one thing that changed significantly for Meredith was that she spoke with Addison on the phone almost daily. The calls were mostly scheduled due to considerations of their work and the need for some discretion, but they did have an air of whimsy about them.

Meredith knew more about Addison after two weeks of phone calls than she had learned about the other woman in the entire time prior to it. She found that she wanted to know more. Had to know more. And each night as she tried to fall asleep, she found her mind completely distracted by thoughts of the redhead.

However on the home front her life had become a disaster. Derek and her were barely speaking and they had not been intimate since all of this began. He had tried to initiate of course, and she had tried to be nice about saying not, but the fact remained that it was the elephant in the room that neither of them were talking about and it was starting to become very stressful.

The whole mess was starting to affect their working relationship as well and today Meredith was on eggshells as she had a feeling that things were going to get ugly. She had been told to scrub in on one of Derek's surgeries and there would be a whole host of observers in the gallery.

Derek's unpredictable behaviour lately meant that anything could happen.

"Try not to screw up anything today." Derek said testily as they scrubbed in.

"What?" Meredith asked, forgetting what she was doing for a heartbeat.

"This hospital does not need any more lawsuits and I am tired of picking up your mess." Meredith was incredulous at the words.

"My mess?" She spluttered.

"Yes." Derek said pointedly and then walked out of the room without another word.

Great, it promised to be a fun surgery.

Once in the OR, Meredith did her best to thrust Derek's hurtful words out of her mind. She knew that her distant manner was partially to blame, but the power of being Chief of Surgery and the fact that he was a bit of a spoiled brat who was used to getting his own way had a lot to do with it as well.

Richard Webber may have been flawed, but he was human and he understood that everyone was flawed. Derek seemed much less likely to accept aberrations from the norm. It was something that Meredith knew other doctors and staff felt as well, but it seemed the Board was happy. Meredith supposed that in the end it was their opinion that counted the most.

However, it has been Derek who had ensured Richard's removal from his post and while Meredith understood that in part it had been due to the fact that the Chief was not performing his duties as needed and as required, Meredith knew that in large part it was also Derek's ambition that had played a roll.

Now that he had gotten what he wanted, he was becoming a bit insufferable.

Worse still, because he no longer seemed to be able to have Meredith, his darker nature had started to rear its head in earnest and Meredith realised that she was not especially pleased with Derek as a whole, regardless of what had been the catalyst for his current bout of bad behaviour.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, Meredith was angry, hungry, and she really wanted to talk with Addison. But, sitting with her best friend and having an overpriced sandwich that was not very good anyway was certainly the next best thing. Cristina had been remarkably supportive and had also provided much needed levity and comic relief during this time of Meredith's personal crisis.

Her friend was probably the main reason that Meredith had not buried herself in a bottle of tequila. That and she was pretty sure that Addison would not be especially pleased by a love interest who was perpetually sloshed.

_Love interest._

Was this love?

Meredith was distracted by her phone and answered it without looking. "Hello there." Addison's voice whispered across her nerves and Meredith forgot where she was for an instant.

"Hi Addison." Meredith almost squeaked.

Across from her, Cristina rolled her eyes and mouthed, whipped, at her. Meredith retaliated by throwing the paper wrapper of her straw at Cristina, who shook her head and rose to leave. They would catch up later.

"What's up?" Meredith asked, playing with the remaining food that was on her tray in a disinterested fashion.

Her hunger would only really be appeased by the woman she was talking with. Everything else was a footnote right now.

"I will be coming to Seattle tomorrow. I only just found out like ten minutes ago." Addison replied without much preamble.

"Why?" Meredith blurted, and then immediately wanted to take the words back.

"I have a patient." Addison said dryly.

"But, I would also like to see you. Do you think you can manage to pencil me in, Doctor Grey?" Addison asked with saccharine sweetness.

"I'll have to check, Doctor Montgomery, but I am certain I can fit you in." Meredith realised the double-entendre as soon as it had left her mouth.

Addison coughed as she choked back her laughter.

"You do that, Meredith. We'll talk tomorrow, alright?" Addison said and Meredith could still hear the laughter in her voice.

She wanted to kiss the other woman more than she had ever wanted anything else in her life right up until this moment. "Okay, Addison. Call me anytime." Meredith said bravely. She would make time for Addison, somehow.

"I'd rather call you baby." Addison whispered and the hung up before Meredith could reply.

Ecstasy poured through Meredith's body for long, relished moments, before it was replaced my dread. Addison was coming tomorrow. She still had not gotten any further with resolving things with Derek. She had maybe twenty four hours at most before she would finally have to make a decision once and for all.

_Oh shit._

* * *

The next day Meredith felt herself in a tizzy as she anticipated Addison's arrival in Seattle. It felt like she was beginning something new. Weeks of phone calls and discussion had really solidified Meredith's mind on what she wanted in life. She just needed to grab it with both hands and hold on even if the ride was rough.

It turned out that Addison was not due at the hospital today, so Meredith had made plans to see her later, after her shift was over. She could barely wait and felt a spring in her step and had to stop herself from smiling like an idiot in love.

Was she an idiot in love?

It was impossible to say definitively but it felt like it.

Arriving to check the board, Meredith cringed when she saw Derek. This was becoming a problem. She could not avoid him for much longer and the whole situation was messy as hell. Meredith had a feeling that he would not react well to losing her. He was not reacting well to the changes in her behaviour, so no doubt this would send him over the edge.

Thankfully Richard was also there and Meredith knew that if Derek started anything Richard would stand up for her, and so would Cristina. In fact she was somewhat sure that many of the Residents and Interns standing around, and several of the Attending Doctors would also jump on Derek. Hopefully he realised this as well. Since his accusation that she had been causing messes in _his_ hospital, Meredith had been wary of him and his intentions.

Even without the influence of Addison, it seemed that they were destined to grow apart.

"I see you decided to grace us with your presence at last." Derek said loudly enough for everyone to hear.

Meredith checked the time. It was an hour before her shift was due to start. What was he talking about?

Was he really so petty that he was going to do this, here, in front of everyone?

"I'm on time. Early, in fact." Meredith replied to him blithely.

He scowled deeply.

So it was going to be this way, then.

Great.

After absorbing her schedule for the day, Meredith moved away from the board. She was due to be in Cardiology today. Mainly pre op stuff and consults, but there was always the possibility that she would have the opportunity to scrub in for surgery.

"Meredith." Derek's voice cut into her musings.

"Yes?" Meredith asked, keeping her voice cool and neutral.

"Planning on coming home tonight?" Derek asked sardonically.

"No." Meredith said succinctly.

"You know, if it was not for the fact that I know you had been spending most of your nights either here or at Cristina's, I would think you were having an affair." Derek was causing a scene and Meredith could feel her face begin to flush.

Was he trying to harm her reputation?

The comforting presence of Richard Webber moved up to join them. "I don't think this is a place for the type of personal discussion this is." He murmured, looking pointedly at Derek.

"And I don't think this is any of your business." Derek challenged Richard openly.

"Look around you, Derek. You're setting a very bad example. Are you going to be Chief, or are you going to be a spoiled brat?" Richard was completely unfazed by Derek and after a few more moments Derek walked away in a huff.

"Thank you." Meredith whispered to Richard.

He looked thoughtful. "You know, Meredith. I may not be Chief anymore, but my door is still open. I know something is going on in your life, I have no real idea what, but something is going on." His tone was earnest and comforting and it made Meredith think that she would confide in him if the need arose or she felt inspired to.

"I'll think about it." She finally said and he seemed satisfied with that answer.

Nodding to the older man, Meredith continued her path towards Cardiology. There was still work to be done before Addison arrived.

* * *

"He said that?" Cristina asked, a measure of disgust evident in her voice.

"Yep, and he did it in front of everyone." Meredith took an angry bite of her sandwich.

"McJerk." Cristina concluded the topic with the word and Meredith felt immeasurably better for some reason.

Cristina was very good for Meredith. Such an opposite personality, but somehow the two of them were incredibly well suited for each other in their friendship. Meredith reasoned that she would truly be lost without her _person_.

"So, what are you going to do tonight?" Cristina asked and Meredith sighed.

"Maybe dinner? We need to talk, seriously, face to face and try to figure out where this is going and what we are going to do about it." Meredith answered after a moment.

"Well, you know my number. Remember what I said about hiding bodies." Cristina was in a hurry to get back to work, but Meredith knew that in just that simple statement a whole world of emotion and feeling were spoken.

Cristina was Cristina. Meredith hoped that she would never change.

Left alone again, Meredith allowed her mind to delve into daydreams about Addison and she neatly managed to avoid at least in her mind the possible ensuing incredible complications that could so easily happen in the next few days. Even just a few minutes of mental vacation was welcome.

* * *

Finally her shift was over. There was just enough time to shower and change into actual clothes before she needed to find Addison and get on with the night, whatever it would bring. Hopefully good things. Meredith really wanted good things for a change.

Derek had paid her no further attention that day and she had heard through Mark that they were planning a night of beer, wings, and ESPN. Just as well she was not going to be home to witness it. Not that she had a problem with any of those things, but due to the current home climate it would be uncomfortable to say the least.

Meredith did realise and admit to herself that she was a large part of the problem that she and Derek were having at home. She had become distant, he had become insanely busy and power mad with his new position in the hospital. The rift had been caused and the fact that it could happen at all made Meredith wonder if what they had shared was what it had appeared to be from the outside.

She did not want to think about it for now. Right now, she had Addison on her mind and as she drive her car through the streets of Seattle, she wanted to bring her focus together. Tomorrow was another day and while Meredith did realise that she had perhaps days to finally come to a decision, she probably did not have make it tonight.

"I'll be there in three minutes." Meredith said into her phone to Addison, knowing that the other woman would be eager to get away from the hotel and to have some free time and fun.

Sure enough, when Meredith pulled up to the hotel Addison was waiting.

"Get in." Meredith called out to the redhead and a couple of moments later they were driving through the night together.

The thrill of being in Addison's presence again powered through Meredith's senses as she attempted to keep proper focus on the road. The other woman was making it hard for her to think though. Meredith wanted to touch her, she wanted to kiss her. Meredith wanted her and having Addison live and in person just illustrated this point and then underlined it for good measure.

"How has your day been?" Meredith asked Addison while they scanned for parking.

"Oh you know, planes, patients, paperwork. Nothing to write home about." It was clear from that response that Addison would rather be talking about something else.

Efficiently parking the car, Meredith finally turned around and looked at Addison, seeing her properly for the first time since she had gotten into the car. The effect was instant. The hot tendril of arousal curled its way around Meredith's lower abdomen, but even more profound, was how Meredith's heart clenched and her breathlessness.

And her profound, and complete happiness as well.

She was with Addison and it felt so right, so good; so perfectly wonderful.

Meredith realised that she was an idiot in love.

And she knew that she would have to act. The old adage of _she who hesitates is lost_ , held true in this sort of situation. Addison was a woman to fight for and Meredith intended to do just that. Addison was worth it, and more importantly, Meredith herself was worth it as well.

"Ready to eat?" Addison asked after another moment passed.

Something tender blazed inside of Meredith for just a moment before she smiled and nodded. It was time to eat. Meredith realised that she was famished.

* * *

**Chapter 11**

As far as dinner went, it had been very pleasant and comfortable. The two of them wanted to have a private space in which they could discuss their future. They also wanted to discuss the present. They needed to.

In the matter of just a few kisses and a smattering of phone calls, something had happened and it was significant enough that it had to be addressed. They could no longer deny the facts.

Not that Addison seemed to be denying anything, if nothing else she seemed to be patient on an almost supernatural scale as far as Meredith was concerned. But, things were not at a point where it was make or break time. Perhaps not tonight, but very soon. Meredith doubted that Addison would be willing to leave Seattle without some definitive answers and then patiently keep taking Meredith's phone calls.

The redhead did have her pride and well, time was passing quickly. They both needed to figure out how achieve their dreams and Meredith sincerely hoped that Addison's dreams included her.

She was a fool in love, after all.

By the time coffee was served, Meredith had relaxed to the point where she was openly laughing at Addison and her heart felt like it did not have a care in the world, actually.

"I can't stand the idea of you going home to him." Addison said abruptly, her expression darkening with something primal and intense.

"I don't have to." Meredith said at once. "I have not been going home a lot for a while now. It's no wonder he is furious at me all the time." Meredith added.

"Your behaviour, or apparent behaviour, does not excuse his. And from what I have heard he is being a little bitch around the hospital and that has nothing to do with you, Meredith." Addison countered at once.

Meredith looked at the other woman thoughtfully. It felt good to be defended so quickly and she allowed herself to bask in the sensation of Addison's attention and focus and protectiveness.

She wanted this. She had to have it.

"Shall we go?" Meredith said after a while spent in comfortable silence.

"Sure." Addison said easily and they were soon back in Meredith's car on their way back to the hotel.

The ride was done in a type of electric silence that could herald just about anything. Meredith desperately wanted to kiss Addison, she needed to hold her. Meredith's body was also screaming to know Addison's.

How far down did those freckles extend? Would Addison's skin flush an edible shade of pink when she was aroused? What did she sound like when she had an orgasm?

The thoughts were almost enough to derail Meredith from the road as she drove and when she looked over at Addison she was sure that the other woman knew exactly what she was thinking about. Meredith could only hope that Addison was having similar thoughts about Meredith.

Deciding to take the reins in her own hands, Meredith parked the car and got out when Addison did, intent on walking the other woman home, as it were. If nothing else it would allow her to spend a few more minutes in Addison's company and if she was super lucky, she may get a kiss out of the bargain.

Addison for her part did not seem to mind this turn of developments and they moved in easy consort through the hotel lobby towards the bank of elevators. Meredith made careful note of which floor they were going to and in just moments they were standing in front of Addison's door. Meredith did not fail to memorise the room number, either. One never knew when this sort of information would come in handy.

"Would you like to come in for a while?" Addison asked out of the blue.

Meredith controlled her reaction as best she was able, but inside of herself a miniature version of her was jumping up and down and screaming: Jackpot!

"I'd love to." Meredith answered at once and a moment later the door was locked behind them and she was alone, in private with Addison.

Her knees were threatening to turn to water as she watched Addison deposit her bag on a table and kick off her shoes. The languid stretch that followed reminded Meredith of a feline reclining in a dapple of sunlight. It made Meredith's mouth water to watch.

As if suddenly becoming aware of Meredith's scrutiny, Addison looked over at her and smiled a smile that Meredith could not interpret. She was still trying to when Addison seemed to swoop down on her and in the blink of an eye they were kissing. It was the sort of kiss that dreams were made of and as Addison pushed her tongue into Meredith's mouth the world turned to white noise in the background.

Overwhelmed by sensation Meredith gave herself over to the experience. Her hands pulled on Addison and as Meredith sobbed with pleasure into the kiss, she realised on some level that she was not able to get close enough to Addison. Clothes, molecules and other obstacles were in the way. Meredith pulled away gasping for breath and held onto Addison as if her life depended on it.

Addison was idle and when Meredith felt those coveted lips kiss the line of her jaw, self control was becoming a distant memory. She wanted Addison, she had to feel her skin flush with her own. With nothing in the way. Meredith had to know what Addison's weight felt like on her. She had to know.

She would go mad if she failed to glean this knowledge as soon as possible, if not sooner.

* * *

"I want you." Meredith breathed hotly into Addison's ear and she could feel Addison react with her whole body.

The reaction emboldened her and Meredith leaned in and kissed Addison again and at the same time she began to gently move Addison backwards, towards the bed. Addison did not resist and as they kissed, while Meredith tasted Addison's mouth and her desire, she speculated that up until this moment in her life she had never truly been turned on.

When she felt Addison's hands gripped at her back and Meredith felt the low vibration of Addison moaning in her mouth, Meredith though that at this rate she was going to have an orgasm without any further stimulation and it was going to happen before they reached the bed even.

"Oh my God." Meredith moaned when their momentum was stopped by the edge of the bed and their mouths broke apart.

Addison was breathing hard against her mouth and Meredith could feel that the redhead's skin was burning hot. It drove Meredith insane with lust, with love. It just made her crazy. Plain and simple.

It was easy to get Addison to sit down and a moment later, Meredith straddled the other woman and moved to kiss the side of her neck. Addison's head fell back and she seemed to be ready to burst into flames any moment. Meredith had never had this kind of affect on anyone before. Ever. It was intoxicating and Meredith wanted more. With Addison, nothing short of everything would ever be enough.

"Meredith." Addison moaned between impassioned kisses.

Taking it as a sign of encouragement, Meredith moved to kiss the side of Addison's neck. "Meredith, stop." Addison breathlessly panted.

"What?" Meredith gasped, feeling unfocussed and confused. She was sure that she had heard that wrong.

"Meredith. We are not going to make love." Addison seemed to be in pain as she said the words.

"We're not?" Meredith blinked as she said the words, trying her damndest to bring her raging hormones under control and her scattered thoughts into some sort of order.

"I want to, Meredith. I want to make love with you. Know that. This is not easy for me." Addison leaned into Meredith and Meredith could feel her raging heartbeat and the hot heat of her skin.

It was almost too much to deal with and Meredith felt tears begin to escape from her eyes as she struggled with her feelings.

"I won't be the other woman, Meredith. You have to choose." Addison said gently as she pulled them apart so she could look at Meredith.

"Hey, don't cry." Addison's face was transformed into the very picture of loving concern and it only made Meredith cry harder.

"Come here." Addison said and she pulled an unresisting Meredith into a reclining position on the bed and gently arranged them so that they were comfortable.

"We'll rest a while, okay? Tomorrow is another day, Meredith." A gentle kiss punctuated Addison's words and with them Meredith felt the last of her tension drain away.

They needed to remove their clothes if they planned to sleep anytime soon and they most certainly needed to brush their teeth, but for the moment nothing else mattered except that she was being held, and protected by Addison. It felt like she was loved and Meredith had forgotten how good that felt.

She knew that she was in love with Addison.

It only it was that simple and easy. If only that was enough.

Resolutely Meredith thrust her errant thoughts from her head and closed her eyes and listened to Addison's steady heartbeat instead.

Tomorrow was another day.

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Morning poured its light over the bed and Meredith blinked, having become unaccustomed to it during her many recent nights in the hospital. For a few moments, Meredith was confused as to where she was and what she was doing there. She was wearing her panties and what felt like the top half of a pair of scrubs and she was deliciously comfortable, warm and she felt safe.

Gradually she became aware that she was not alone in the bed and as this awareness seeped in, she remembered exactly where she was and what she was doing there. She was in bed with Addison and they had slept together. No sex, no games, just comfortable silence interspersed by talking and Meredith speculated that she had not slept this well in years even.

After Meredith had calmed down the night before Addison had been patient and gentle and had explained to her in no uncertain terms that she wanted to make love with Meredith as much as Meredith wanted to make love with her. But until Meredith was single, and until she had decided her own destiny, Addison would not allow it to happen.

"Besides, we need to date a little. What sort of woman do you take me for?" Addison had said playfully and Meredith remembered her own delighted laughter.

She needed to get going though, she was due at the hospital in a ridiculously short period of time and she needed to shower and get some fresh scrubs on and gather her wits before then, somehow.

Addison chose this moment to shift under Meredith and it took a serious exercise in willpower to not simply bury herself in Addison and forget the day. That would never do though. She had to get up and she had to go to work.

Gently, she extricated herself from Addison and sat up slowly. The redhead protested mildly in her sleep and Meredith again had to fight with herself about not crawling into the bed and saying _fuck you_ to the day. Addison was just so tempting.

"Hey." Meredith was determined not to leave without saying good bye. "Wake up, Addie." The term of endearment felt new and different in her mouth, but it was also good.

Meredith decided that she liked it. "You're leaving?" Addison asked sleepily and Meredith's libido decided to sit up and say howdy right at that moment in huge part because of the gravelly, husky quality that was Addison's morning voice.

"No rest for the wicked." Meredith whispered and leaned down to kiss Addison's temple gently. "I'll see you later." She added and stood up, making a beeline for the bathroom before her desire overcame her willpower.

A four minute shower and some useless primping in front of the mirror and Meredith was sort of ready to face the world. She would need to remember to replenish the emergency panties that lived in a small bag at the bottom of her purse. As a doctor she had learned long ago to be prepared. It had served her well in situations like this in the past. She'd have to change into some fresh scrubs at the hospital before her shift began.

This time however, Meredith would not be doing the walk of shame.

She doubted she would ever be doing anything that was a shame with Addison. The only thing she would have to be careful about was making sure she did not waste too much more time being indecisive.

With a final look at the still semi-sleeping woman laying in the king sized bed, Meredith made her way out of the room and quickly found her way to her car. Even the parking ticket on her window did not faze her. She was deliriously happy and decided that this had been one of the most unique first times for her. Addison would no doubt provide her with many unique first times as time went by.

Meredith was looking forward to finding out about each and every one of them.

* * *

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Cristina said as she cornered Meredith a short while later at the hospital.

"I have it on good authority that you did not spend the night in the hospital last night and you certainly did not spend the night at my place." Her friend added and Meredith blushed to the roots of her hair despite herself.

"Nothing. Everything." Meredith did not even know where to begin. "We had some food and talked and then went back to her hotel." It all felt so surreal as Meredith described it to Cristina.

"Did you bump pelvises?" Cristina inquired in her non delicate way.

"I don't think women bump pelvises, Cristina." Meredith replied in all seriousness.

"Semantics." Cristina countered flippantly. "Don't keep me in suspense." She said more forcefully after that.

"We talked, and kissed, and did not have sex. I fell asleep in her arms, in her bed. It was wonderful. Perfect actually." Meredith knew her voice had a dreamy quality as she spoke.

"This must be love then." Cristina said, sounding every bit like the antithesis of a romantic.

"Must be." Meredith said happily.

"Oh God. Are you going to get mushy on me?" Meredith rolled her eyes at her friend. "Perish the thought." She murmured quietly.

"I knew McDull was not going to be the one for you. I just knew it." Cristina said after a moment and then wandered away to proceed with her own day.

Meredith felt a little of her peace and happiness fade at the mention of Derek. Now there was a problem she had to contend with, somehow. She also needed to think about where to take Addison on a date and when she could finagle such an opportunity with the other woman.

Addison would be leaving soon and this time Meredith was determined that the redhead would not be leaving under a cloud of uncertainty and questions like she had other times. This time, Addison would leave knowing that Meredith was hers, and hers alone.

* * *

The next day Meredith found herself missing Addison terribly. They had been unable to connect any further the day before after waking up together. Whatever Addison was doing seemed to take up all her time for the interim at least and Meredith herself found that she was unusually busy as well.

But, Meredith was determined to connect with the redhead soon, if not sooner and with that mission in mind she made her way through the hospital searching. She had asked Cristina to let her know if she spotted Addison first, but really, Meredith wanted to be the one who found her.

She spared a brief thought to Derek. She had actually gone home the night before but Derek had already been asleep so she had not woken him. Meredith knew that she was simply putting off the inevitable but she wanted to bask in her own personal happiness for a little while longer before she dealt with the ugliness of her private life's less desirable aspects.

Rounding a corner, Meredith spotted her prey. Addison was alone. Fantastic! Meredith was feeling lucky, so without further ado she walked up to Addison, grabbed her arm and gently but firmly led her to one of the notorious On Call rooms that the hospital maintained. They were rarely used for their intended purpose, but for now Meredith determined that this one would suit her purpose fine.

Closing the door behind them, Meredith took a long moment to drink in Addison. She had missed the redhead terribly. "I just wanted to see you, privately, for a moment. I have missed you and we have not really spoken since the other morning." Meredith explained when Addison looked at her questioningly.

"Ah. I have missed you too, Meredith." Addison said warmly and moved closer to Meredith as she spoke.

The rush of sensation, desire and emotion that cascaded over Meredith when Addison stopped within touching distance was overwhelming. "Soon, Meredith." Addison said gently, seeming to pick up on Meredith's mood easily.

Meredith said nothing, rather she pulled Addison closer and wrapped her arms around the other woman, simply absorbing her presence and filling her heart with the sensory information of simply being so near to Addison. The hot curl of desire that seemed to have settled permanently in her lower abdomen whenever Addison so much as crossed her mind, let alone whenever the redhead was near, made Meredith breathless.

"Kiss me." Meredith requested, breathing against Addison's mouth.

She knew that Addison had boundaries that Meredith would need to respect and she understood them, but she wanted to kiss Addison and she hoped that the redhead would be amenable to the suggestion. Prayed actually.

Addison licked her lips and the intensity in her eyes when she looked at Meredith made Meredith think that maybe she would melt right on the spot. Addison seemed to come to a decision, as she leaned in and brushed her lips against Meredith's in a promise that Meredith intended to collect on.

"Soon, Meredith." Addison whispered against Meredith's mouth and Meredith was unable to keep her hands from gripping at the redhead's back at the words.

It felt like her whole world was on fire and Meredith could not help but bask in the heat of it. It was glorious.

Oblivious to the world at large, Meredith failed to notice the fact that they now had an audience until said audience spoke. "Oh my God!" Meredith jumped at the words and felt Addison almost flinch away from her.

Meredith turned and blinked uncomprehendingly at the intruder.

_Oh shit!_

* * *

"Jesus Christ on a bicycle, Lexie!" Meredith exclaimed, feeling a surge of anger, or laughter, or insanity when she realised that her half-sister had walked in on them.

"You two?" Lexie said, seeming oblivious to Meredith's words.

"Oh my God. I did not see this!" Lexie seemed to be on the verse of some sort of nervous breakdown.

This did not bode well.

"Lexie!" Meredith grabbed her sister and shook her gently.

"You two?" Lexie seemed to come into focus as Meredith grabbed her.

"Eventually." Meredith allowed, wondering how she was going to explain this to Lexie.

Addison meanwhile was obviously trying to hold in inappropriate laughter.

"You're not helping." Meredith pointed out and at the words Addison started to laugh out loud.

It was contagious and a moment later Meredith was also laughing and a second later Lexie was also laughing hysterically at their mutual predicament.

"Oh God. I need a vacation." Meredith murmured after they had all calmed down.

Addison snorted at the words and Lexie just looked perplexed.

"You can't tell anyone, Lexie. Not anyone." Meredith finally said to her sister, trying to impart the seriousness of the situation on her younger half-sibling.

"You can't keep this a secret for long, Meredith." Lexie pointed out, showing a maturity that was atypical.

"Uhm." Meredith offered.

"Oh God. Now who has her heart in her vagina?" Lexie countered to Meredith and the shook her head.

"I did not see this." She murmured and made her way out of the On Call hurriedly.

After a long pause in which Meredith and Addison simply stared at the door, Meredith finally sighed and turned towards Addison. "That went well." She said lamely.

"She's right. You can't keep this a secret, Meredith. I don't want to be your dirty little secret." Addison said pointedly and with a probing look at Meredith the redhead made her way out of the On Call room and left Meredith alone with her thoughts.

Great.

* * *

Later that afternoon Meredith found herself scrubbing in for surgery with Derek. It was an uncomfortable and awkward situation to find herself in. She and Derek had not really spoken much in what seemed like weeks. Granted, it was in part due to the pressures of their respective jobs and their conflicting schedules, but for the most part it had everything to do with the fact that they had grown apart and were now almost strangers with each other.

Strangers with lots of baggage that neither of them seemed to know how to deal with.

"I am going to ask Addison to sign a contract to consult here on a regular basis." Derek stated out of the blue while Meredith was intent on cleaning her hands on what felt like a molecular level.

"What?" She blurted out, surprised.

"Yes. One week a month for the next six months. For starters anyway." Derek stated, sounding far too pleased with himself. "You have a problem with that?" He asked and now Meredith thought that he sounded almost hopeful.

Was he hoping to make her jealous?

Oh boy. Was he in for a surprise when he figured out the truth.

"No." Meredith said simply and then turned and walked out of the scrub room, wanting to get away from Derek as quickly as possible and trying to mentally steel herself to spending the next few hours in such close proximity to him in the OR.

She was a professional, she's manage somehow.

As she entered the theatre, she thought about Addison and wondered if the redhead knew what Derek had planned to ask her. Probably not, it was something that Addison would probably have mentioned if she knew.

Meredith hoped that Addison would accept the contract, but she speculated that her acceptance of it would depend in part on what Meredith did in the next few days.

They had reached a point in their relationship where Meredith could no longer effectively keep sitting on the fence. She would have to choose and her decision would undoubtedly have repercussions that she had not taken in to account. She had to decide though and soon.

Lexie was right: She would no be able to keep this secret for much longer.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"Addison is looking for you." Cristina told her in between bites of apple when Meredith crossed paths with her friend much later in the day.

"Is she?" Meredith asked. "Why didn't she just page me, or call me?" Meredith added, mostly to herself.

"I dunno, but I do know that when Satan saw me, she veered right off her course and came to ask me if I knew where you were." Cristina extrapolated and continued to chew on her apple.

"Guess I better go find her." Meredith murmured, feeling butterflies in her stomach.

"Guess so." Cristina waved with her apple as Meredith moved to begin the mission of finding Addison.

What did the redhead want?

Hopefully something good.

Meredith felt the flutter of anticipation as she tried to think where Addison might be right now. The most likely location was probably near Derek's office, especially if Derek was planning to spring the consulting question on Addison today.

A few minutes later, Meredith arrived at Derek's office, only to find it empty. No Derek and more significantly, no Addison. Meredith pondered where she should search next. The break room? It seemed like a logical choice. Turning on her heel, Meredith started to make her way back in the direction she had come from.

She had no sooner taken a few steps when her pager went off and she immediately snatched it off her waistband and looked at it. Addison, querying where she was. Grabbing at her phone, Meredith quickly replied to the page and asked where Addison was. The reply was instant.

_Stay there, I will come to you._

The problem was that Meredith was already someplace else entirely. Great. Suddenly in the back of her mind Meredith started to hear Yakety Sax start to play as she replied to Addison that she was not at Derek's office anymore. Again, the reply was instant.

_Then where are you?_

Meredith was tempted to laugh out loud at this point. Quickly she stopped moving and replied. Addison seemed to be determined to find her, so Meredith would oblige and make it as easy as possible. If that was possible.

* * *

It only took Addison about five minutes to find her, but in that time Meredith's mind had run gamut as to what exactly the other woman wanted from her. They had not spoken since the earlier incident with Lexie in the On Call room, but their parting has been amicable and Meredith just hoped that everything was okay.

Breathlessly Addison rushed up to her.

"Hi." She offered and Meredith smiled.

"Hi yourself." Meredith replied.

"Um, so. Derek has asked me to consult for the hospital and I said yes." Addison started to talk without any preamble.

"I need to go home the day after tomorrow to get some things. I will be back on Friday." Addison continued and Meredith felt her heart sink and soar all in the same moment.

"Okay." Meredith said easily, wondering what Addison was getting at.

"Well, hm. I wanted to ask you what you were doing tonight?" Addison finally managed.

"Nothing." Meredith said without even bothering to think of her schedule or look at it.

She did not care if she had anything going on tonight; she would reschedule it if needed. "Well okay. Would you like to go out for dinner?" Meredith blinked once at the question.

"Yes." She answered before she could think better of it.

"Okay. I'd offer to come pick you up, but that might not work so well." Addison continued.

"I'll come to the hotel." Meredith offered.

"Good. Semi formal, and bring a warm jacket. Be at the hotel by seven, if you can be." Addison smiled at Meredith and then she was gone.

What was going on?

It sounded to Meredith as if Addison had just asked her out on a date. But she was technically still with Derek. So, what was going on?

Meredith walked away from where she had been leaning against the wall waiting for Addison. As she wandered down the corridor, she hit upon the inspiration as to just exactly what Addison was up to.

The redhead had decided to take matters into her own hands as much as she could, and now that she had the definitive knowledge that she would be spending more time with Meredith, she was unwilling to let chance possibly decide that Meredith would be better off with Derek.

It was the best explanation that Meredith could come up with.

There was no chance that Meredith would pick Derek over Addison, but she was certainly flattered by the attention and decided that she would enjoy it to the fullest. It's not like Derek had done anything in the last month or so except sulk. That made Meredith wonder if he loved her at all, or if he simply loved what she represented to him and now that he was losing that, he was becoming petty and stupid, rather than trying woo her back.

Addison could not help but win this contest. Meredith just wondered how she would manage to end things with Derek without there being too much emotional or actual bloodshed involved. It was a daunting thought and one which Meredith resolutely thrust out of her mind.

She was going on a date with Addison tonight and that was what she wanted to think about.

* * *

Meredith did not pause to consider how Derek might react if he came upon her getting ready to go out. If he asked, she would tell him honestly that she was going out with Addison and he could make whatever he wanted from that.

It was the truth, though it was not the whole truth. God help her.

A page to him told her not to wait up and that he was going out with some friends. It took two people to create a relationship, and so far Meredith had only kissed Addison, though in her heart and in her body she was not with Derek anymore. One would think that he would make some effort to figure out what was going on, or to try to regain her attention, but it seemed that he truly did not care.

Casting him out of her mind, Meredith made her way to the bathroom and quickly stepped into the shower. It was time to primp and preen and prepare.

Body soap, her razor, shampoo and conditioner, body oil, deodorant, perfume and moisturiser and she was standing in front of the mirror with hair dryer and hair curler in hand without really remembering how she got to this point. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she tried to recognise her face.

She looked different. Excited, in love. Could one look in love?

Shaking her head impatiently, Meredith moved to dry and style her hair. Addison seemed to be intent on taking her someplace nice and Meredith wanted to make a good showing of wherever that was. She wanted Addison to be unable to look anyplace else and she wanted to look good on Addison's arm. Or just with Addison.

What to wear?

This was the question that Meredith pondered as she sat in front of her vanity table and applied makeup. Not too much, would not want it to smear off on anything and anyway, Addison had seen her splattered in blood and as bedraggled as she could look, so it would create a false illusion that she was certain that the redhead would not appreciate if she plastered makeup on.

Addison had said semi formal. What did that mean? Well, it would depend mainly on what her closer contained, aside from herself that is.

Deciding that semi formal with a warm jacket meant that Addison intended them to spend some time outdoors tonight, Meredith opted for slacks, a blouse, medium heeled boots and an elegantly tailored blazer. Jewellery, a final touch of lip gloss and a miniature purse completed the look.

Some other time when it was a more formal occasion, Meredith would wear a dress. She doubted it would be suitable for tonight.

As she made her way out of the house, she paused to leaving Derek a note, should he care. Meredith found that personally she did not care. She was more interested in what Addison would be wearing, and where they would be going and what or who would be on the menu.

With that thought, Meredith made her way to the care and quickly headed out to Addison's hotel with anticipation and excitement making her insides flutter as she drove.

She wondered if Addison would like some flowers or something?

* * *

Half an hour later, Meredith was sitting in a limousine with Addison and trying not to choke on her tongue as she took in what the other woman was wearing. Thankfully basic etiquette was not something she needed her brain to do.

The way Addison's clothes embraced her body was probably illegal in a few states and several countries. Never mind anything else, Addison would simply cause traffic to pile up if she walked around dressed like that in the daylight.

Addison had taken a similar route to Meredith, dressed in more practical clothing, obviously in deference to whatever they were going to do, but that is where the similarities ended. Every item of clothing that Addison had on was immaculately tailored and while Meredith was no expert, she would lay money on the fact that the heels that Addison had on were made for her and were on of a kind.

Meredith did not often have pause to think about it, but occasionally she was reminded that Addison was in fact, fabulously wealthy.

Tonight she did have a reason to think about it. Addison looked fabulous and Meredith wondered if she would be able to keep her hands to herself. "Where are we going? " Meredith queried once she had recovered her voice.

Addison smiled knowingly at her. It was clear that the redhead knew the effect that she had on Meredith and that she was enjoying it tremendously. It made Meredith wonder what else Addison had in store for her tonight. Meredith shivered slightly in anticipation.

Meredith wondered where they were going.

"You'll see." Addison said, answering Meredith's unspoken question.

Reaching into her folded coat, Meredith pulled up the flowers she had bought earlier. Really, it was a simple bouquet but Meredith had been taken by its beauty. She did not know a lot about wooing someone. Usually she was the one being wooed, and this seemed to be the case this time as well, but this time she wanted to join in on the action.

"Thank you. They are beautiful." Addison said after a long pause in which she seemed to be enraptured by the flowers.

The brilliant smile that Meredith received was reward enough that she resolved to buy Addison flowers whenever a special bouquet caught her eye.

Meredith found that she wanted to spoil the redhead. Lavish her with attention and make her feel desired, beautiful, wanted.

The very thought of doing this made Meredith feel happy and warm inside.

The interior of the limousine was opulent and comfortable and they had perfect privacy as the car sped through the streets of Seattle. It was mesmerising to watch the play of light and shadow on Addison's face and Meredith could feel the steady burn of desire and the breathlessness of love inside of herself as they sat in comfortable silence close together on the luxurious leather seat.

* * *

When the limousine pulled up to the waterfront, Meredith was even more curious as to just where Addison was taking them. The other woman moved out the limo with practised ease and Meredith was determined to put on a good showing. Just because she was not used to limos, did not mean that she would act like a rube; she wanted Addison to be proud of her, proud to be with her.

"Here we are." Addison said, offering Meredith her arm and guiding her a short distance into the doorway a somewhat cosy looking restaurant.

A simple neon sign with the words _Maximilien French Cafe_ on it welcomed them and the entranceway was inviting and warm. It looked like the sort of place where one could have lunch, or bring one's family as well. It looked like it served food that meant to be eaten, versus simply poked at while it congealed in a pretty, but unappetising mess on a highly frivolous plate.

"Just because I wanted to arrive in style, does not mean that I wanted to eat ostentatious food. I like food, Meredith. And I like you." Addison said obviously interpreting Meredith's expression.

Once inside, Addison spoke briefly to the Maître d' briefly and they were at once ushered to the large outdoor area of the establishment. Meredith only had a few seconds to glimpse the interior. It was open and airy and looked very comfortable and the people she could see were obviously enjoying themselves.

The patio, however. As soon as Meredith saw the view she was struck speechless. It was gorgeous. "Oh my God, Addison. This is beautiful." Meredith breathed and walked to the railing, oblivious to anything else for the moment.

Addison followed her and for several long moments they stood with their shoulders and flanks touching and simply revelled in the exprience. Feeling the breeze on her sensitised skin, Meredith turned to Addison and had the overwhelming urge to kiss her.

From the sparkle in the redhead's eye Meredith could tell that Addison was thinking the same thing.

"Shall we?" Addison asked, offering Meredith her arm once more and they walked to the table.

The table?

The patio could hold many more tables that it did, but instead there was just one table, perfectly situated to showcase the beautiful vista. At a discreet distance and carefully hidden in a shadow was a heater. Some guttering torches and the intimacy of the setting was perfect.

Where were the other tables?

Meredith ceased to wonder when Addison guided her to her chair and waited for her to be seated before she moved around the table. She was completely at ease with someone puling out her chair and pushing it in again, and not for the first time Meredith was curious about Addison's upbringing.

"You look beautiful tonight." Addison said once they had settled in and their jackets has been whisked away by a very efficient waiter who had been standing by to see if they were going to put them on or not.

Meredith did not know how to respond to that. She did not remember the last time someone had called her beautiful.

"Thank you." Meredith managed to say and found herself wanting to return the compliment but fumbling with how exactly to do it.

"You too." She finally murmured, blushing.

Addison smiled fully at her and it suddenly did not matter that Meredith's inexperience was on display.

It seemed that Addison had that affect on her; she made Meredith comfortable.

* * *

"Everything on the menu here is delicious, but there are of course some things that you may prefer not to eat." Addison told Meredith after they had settled into their seats and were handed menus while a whole legion of waiters stood by ready attend to their every whim or need.

Now they were examining menus and Meredith noted that her menu had no prices on it and she had no idea what this sort of food cost anyway. Obviously Addison intended for Meredith to simply enjoy her experience and for her own part, Meredith intended to do just that.

On Addison's suggestion, Meredith ordered the Seabass and then listened as Addison ordered the Salmon Coulibiac in flawless French. Meredith deferred to Addison to choose wine and then they were left to their own devices with a promise that appetisers would be arriving shortly.

The efficiency of the staff was noticeable even for Meredith.

"Why is the patio empty?" Meredith queried while Addison sniffed the cork of the wine bottle that she had just been offered.

"I wanted to share it only with you." Addison replied, nodding minutely to the sommelier who carefully placed the wine on the table and vanished.

"Only with me? You rented the whole patio?" Meredith asked in a soft tone.

"It's nothing, Meredith. I wanted to enjoy the view and enjoy you." Addison waved her hand as she spoke and then reached over to grab Meredith's hand.

"Let's just enjoy the evening, alright? I have plans for later if you're up for it." Addison said after a moment and Meredith nodded.

She had never been wooed quite like this before. She felt pretty much swept off her feet, actually. "Okay." Meredith said happily.

Addison seemed to be happy with her reply and she settled back into her seat with a smile.

"What do you have planned for later?" Meredith asked after a long silence had passed.

"That would be telling." Addison said with a mischievous smile. "You'll see." She added and her grip on Meredith's hand tightened.

"Tell me something about you that I do not know." Addison offered by way of a conversational gambit.

"I wanted to be a fireman." Meredith said out of the blue.

"You what?" Addison said in reply.

"My mother would not hear of it." Meredith continued, laughing now at the memory of her mother's horror.

"I could love you, Meredith." Addison said after a comfortable pause in the conversation.

"I..." Addison seemed to want to add something, but then she fell silent and returned her gaze to the view.

_What?_ Meredith felt her mind go at fever pitch as she tried to glean what Addison had intended to say. Had Addison been going to say, _I love you_?

"Hey." Meredith said, causing Addison to look over at her.

"It will be okay." She whispered, gathering up Addison's hand in both her own.

She just hoped that her words would come true.

* * *

A cadre of waiters brought appetisers, freshened up their water glasses, inquired obliquely if they needed anything else and then vanished once more. As the patio became more shrouded in longer shadows, the torches had been moved closer and the heater was ensuring that the chill of the evening did not disrupt their experience.

"Let's eat." Addison suggested and Meredith smiled.

"Yes, let's." She concurred.

"You have to try this." Addison said after a single bite of her dish and without preamble she placed some of her food on her bread dish and handed it over to Meredith.

The intimacy of the gesture was not lost on Meredith and as she forked some of the delicious looking food into her mouth, she felt her tongue become enveloped in a taste sensation that overtook the rest of her senses. Closing her eyes, Meredith almost moaned her appreciation.

When she opened her eyes again, she found Addison looking at her with an intent expression on her face and Meredith felt her breath catch at the look. "You don't make it easy for me to stand by my principles, Doctor Grey." Addison said tightly as she licked her lips and Meredith felt the words shiver their way down into her lower abdomen.

It reminded her of just why exactly they were sitting in this beautifully romantic setting. Chemistry, emotions, decisions. Love, lust, and longing.

Swallowing hard, Meredith took the opportunity to return Addison's gesture and shared some of her appetiser. When she handed the plate over, Addison caught her wrist with her other hand and after she set down the plate, she caressed Meredith's palm with an intricate, sensual gesture that made Meredith forget exactly what she was doing.

Yes. Love, lust and longing.

It would be interesting to see just exactly where this evening was headed. Meredith hoped that the night would end with Addison kissing her at least. She knew it was unlikely, regardless of how much temptation there was, that the redhead would break her convictions, but Meredith knew that a simple, single kiss from Addison would crown the night beautifully. She looked forward to it and hoped that it would happen.

* * *

Addison proved herself to be a wonderful hostess. She kept the conversation light while they ate their appetiser and when the main course was served Meredith was so relaxed that she had forgotten that Addison had rented an entire patio and that the menus and wine list did not have prices on them.

Meredith did not fail to notice when Addison ordered another bottle of wine, but she was determined to be careful about overindulging. Some other time it may be fun to get drunk with Addison, but not tonight. Also, she wanted to remember every moment of the evening.

"This is delicious." Meredith said after they had eaten some bites of their meal.

She was rewarded with a brilliant smile from Addison. "I think the company enhances the flavour; never mind the view." The redhead replied and Meredith had to agree with that sentiment completely.

"I am glad I said yes. I have never experienced anything like this before." Meredith said after a short pause.

"No? Well, we shall have to rectify these omissions in your experience then, Meredith." Addison's voice had taken on a smoky quality as the wine, the food and the night had taken hold.

"Only if you'll join me in experiencing them." Meredith said softly in reply.

The fish on her plate was almost gone and she felt sated and slightly buzzed, not least because of the excellent company. The overall effect was exhilarating and peaceful all at the same time.

Addison reached over to take Meredith's hand again and the warmth of her skin infused it's way into Meredith's heart. It could have been zero degrees out here, but she felt safe, cosy and protected.

She wanted this feeling to be a permanent one.

* * *

The shadows on the patio had grown long by the time dessert arrived. Leaving the ordering up to Addison's discretion, Meredith was surprised and delighted when the decadent looking creation was served on one plate with two spoons. Addison's eyes had sparkled when the dish had been set down and what had followed was an erotic food experience that Meredith was certain she would remember for the rest of her life.

Addison had carefully, delicately and oh so sensually fed Meredith little spoonfuls of the delicious chocolate sin that was the conclusion to their mean. For her own part, Meredith had become aroused enough by the process and not least by the look in Addison's eyes, that she had almost omitted the taste of the sweet itself.

Sometime later, Addison had asked if Meredith was ready to go and then they had risen and been helped with their coats and had sojourned to the limousine once more. Addison had only paused to thank the Chef and the Maître d' who had both blustered slightly at her praise.

There had been no bill, no tipping, no pause in Addison's momentum or in their evening and Meredith again found herself marvelling at the highly superior wooing ability of the redhead. This sort of treatment could really turn a girl's head and Meredith was made breathless by the gentle, yet constantly hungry attention that Addison paid her.

Now Meredith had found herself in a situation she had never expected to find herself in her life. Addison was standing next to a gorgeous horse, gently stroking its nose and speaking to the man who was going to drive them around the streets of Seattle until it became almost too late for them to be out anymore.

A horse and buggy ride to conclude their fantastic evening.

Meredith was glad she was not the swooning type, but she speculated that she could become just that with the correct impetus.

"Ready?" Addison inquired, seeming to have finished with her equine ministrations.

"For you, always." Meredith replied and with that Addison handed Meredith into the coach and rose in after her.

A few moments of arranging soft woollen blankets around them and Meredith found herself snuggled up against Addison's side as they set off. The sensation of the buggy moving and the sound of the horse's hoofs on the pavement lulled Meredith for a while, as did the warmth of Addison's body and her steady breath in Meredith's hair.

She was in love.

And she had a dilemma, but she did not want to think about that tonight. Tonight was going to be an idyll that she would encapsulate into her memories to call upon for years to come. Tonight was going to be beautiful and perfect.

Meredith just knew it.

* * *

"Did you have horses when you grew up?" Meredith asked after a few minutes of peaceful travel and cuddling against Addison.

"Yes. Or well, I rode horses I suppose." Addison replied after a beat and brought the blanket to cover them better.

"I bet you were a holy terror when you were little. I can imagine it now, pigtails, freckles, and attitude. A regular North American Pippi Longstocking." Meredith commented.

"Hmm. Well I am not sure that my parents would disagree with that assessment." Addison said and squeezed Meredith playfully.

"I don't want this evening to end." Meredith sighed.

It was true. Given a choice she would never leave Addison's arms again.

"It does not have to, Meredith." Addison said softly. "Or well, tonight will have to end, but this does not have to." Addison sounded wistful as she continued to talk.

"What about your job in LA?" Meredith asked, it was a pertinent question after all.

"I only need a reason to stay here, Meredith. I can work anywhere I want to. I am in high demand you know." Addison replied evenly.

Meredith looked out at the city vista that was being displayed so uniquely to them and knew that Addison was right. The only question mark in this whole equation was Meredith herself and her issues and hesitations that were impeding whatever that was happening between Addison and her.

Addison kissed the top of her head, and Meredith felt a thrill run through her body as she shifted slightly and turned her face. "Kiss me." She requested gently.

Eyes that were made almost black by the night sparkled and Addison seemed to pause to think for a moment, no doubt considering her options. Meredith reached for the redhead and pulled on her slightly. Tomorrow was another day to consider options, but tonight they were on a date and it was about them.

Addison took the hint and leaned down slightly, ghosting her lips across Meredith's in a touch so soft that it felt like the brush of a shadow. "I don't want this to end either, Meredith." Addison whispered against her lips before she deepened the kiss.

Overwhelmed by the moment, by the feel of Addison wrapped around her, warming her, protecting her, Meredith lost herself in Addison. Their mouths explored gently, hungrily and Meredith could taste wine and something unique to the redhead herself. It was intoxicating, as was the smoothness of the skin on Addison's face and the feel of her strong, competent hands gripping at Meredith's sides and then her face.

It was suddenly very warm under the blankets, even in the chill of the night.

"You're not making it very easy to resist you." Addison said as they leaned their foreheads together breathing deeply once the kiss had come to its natural end.

"Good." Meredith replied and laughed softly.

"You're so bad." Addison's voice was tinged by a smile.

"Good." Meredith said again and snuggled into Addison as the night and the sound of the horse's hoofs and the feeling of love surrounded them.

* * *

When it was time for Meredith to walk Addison from the limousine to her hotel room, it became evident that the night was indeed over. For now at least. It was close to midnight and the hotel lobby was almost empty as they made their way to the elevators. Meredith was feeling tired and happy and euphoric, all at the same time.

Maybe she could get another kiss from Addison?

A girl could always hope.

It only took a couple of minutes for them to reach Addison's hotel room and as Addison slipped her key into the lock, she looked at Meredith with an expression that Meredith could not interpret. When the lock gave way, Addison pushed the door open and stepped into her room before she turned around.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Meredith." She whispered and ran a soft finger along Meredith's jaw line.

The touch was electric and made Meredith's insides heave with emotion and arousal and sensation. "Alright." Meredith murmured before she snagged Addison's finger with her mouth and licked the soft pad of it.

Something flashed in Addison's eyes and Meredith forgot how to breathe.

_Had anyone ever looked at her like that before?_

Before Meredith could find the answer to her question Addison was kissing her. The kiss was not gentle as it had been during their nighttime ride through the city. This kiss was animalistic, demanding. It made Meredith's heart stop and caused a bead of sweat to begin at the small of her back. The kiss promised Meredith pleasure and exquisite ecstasy and for long endless moments, Meredith lost herself in Addison.

"Goodnight, Meredith." Addison said breathlessly when they separated.

"Goodnight, Addison." Meredith replied and stepped back from the other woman reluctantly.

Addison closed the door and Meredith stood there for a moment and listened while latch being thrown.

"Sleep well, Addison." Meredith whispered.

She heard Addison walk away from the door and slowly made her way out of the hotel and back to her truck that was parked outside.

The night was concluded, but this was the beginning of something new, and beautiful, and wonderful.

Meredith could not wait to see what would happen next.

By the time Meredith got home, she was exhausted and she was also fervently hoping that Derek would still be out, be asleep, or just be someplace else. Anything but awake and waiting for her. Meredith did not want to face him and have the flavour of her evening spoiled in the process.

Opening her front door quietly, Meredith crept through the house and looked around. It only took her a moment to find Derek. He was asleep on the sofa. He looked unwashed, unshaven and oily. Obviously still soused with the booze of his evening and Meredith was incredibly grateful that he was sleeping soundly for once.

Moving towards the bedroom Meredith began to remove her clothing and found that she was smiling to herself as she prepared for bed. Derek disappeared from her mind as thoughts of Addison and then even more Addison took over.

Meredith had fallen in love, and she had fallen hard.

Restless in her bed, Meredith rolled over and pulled out the Polaroid that the driver of the carriage had taken of them just before the conclusion of their evening. He had taken two of them actually, Addison had the second one.

The picture showed Addison and Meredith snuggled together, comfortable and glowing. It was easy to see that they were in love.

If only it was that simple.

Maybe it was.

* * *

**Chapter 14**

Meredith woke up determined to hopefully catch the other woman the next morning before either of them went to work. With that in mind, Meredith found herself driving to Addison's hotel the next day at the brink of dawn. Though she was tired and sleep deprived, she felt energised and happy and excited. She was going to see Addison and she could barely wait.

She had barely been able to sleep the night before, with her mind filled with dreams and thoughts of Addison, their date and the sheer wonder of what was going on between them. It had been a night unlike anything else Meredith had ever experienced before in her life.

So, she was now on the way to hopefully intercept Addison on the way to the hospital. She could hardly wait to see the other woman.

Rushing through the hotel lobby, she blissfully made her way to Addison's hotel room with her phone in hand. "Hey." Meredith said into the tiny speaker of the phone and Addison's warm reply was her reward.

"You're up early." Addison remarked, and Meredith fancied that she could hear the rustle of cloth in the background.

What bliss, maybe Addison was still in bed?

"Yeah. I woke up thinking about you. In fact I am not sure I even slept, to be honest." It was not an inaccurate statement.

Coming to Addison's hotel room door, Meredith knocked confidently, eager now to see Addison to the point of fervour. Meredith heard Addison say to someone else, _get that will you_ , and before she could properly process the information the hotel room door opened and before her stood a stunningly handsome example of male humanity. He was not wearing a shirt and he had _I've just been fucked_ hair.

Shocked beyond words, Meredith glanced desperately into the hotel room and fancied that she saw Addison standing in the bathroom doorway which was open. The redhead was wearing a robe and her hair was wet and she had an easy and content smile on her face. Forgetting that she was on the phone with said redhead, Meredith backed away from the doorway and turned away, trying to remember where the elevators were as she felt her heart begin to break.

"Meredith!" Addison's voice caught her in the hallway and Meredith looked over at the other woman who had burst into the hallway and was now chasing after her intently.

Addison was not wearing anything under her robe and even in her own personal torment, Meredith could not help but notice the delicious slope of the other woman's cleavage as it disappeared into a shadowed fold of the robe.

It seemed that the freckles did in fact go all the way down.

The knowledge hurt Meredith more than she could imagine and she backed further away from Addison. "Meredith wait. What is the matter with you?" Addison asked, sounding bewildered and a little cross.

"I don't share, Addison." Meredith whispered, feeling her heart moan in agony in her own chest.

Maybe she should see Cristina about this heartache?

"What do you mean share? What?" Addison attempted to grab at Meredith but it was already too late.

"I thought we had something." Meredith whispered and pointed at the man who was now standing in the doorway of the hotel room, looking every bit like a statue of Adonis.

"What?" Addison said, obviously confused.

It made Meredith wonder as to what exactly was the standard norm for behaviour in the other woman.

Without any more words, Meredith turned and made her way into the fire escape and started to race down the stairs, oblivious to the ringing phone in her hand and uncaring if she plunged head first to her own death as she took the stairs four or five at a time.

How could this have happened?

Why did this have to happen?

Tears were streaming down her face now and Meredith could barely see as she plunged into her car and desperately tried to organise her keys and her mind enough to start the car.

Her phone rang again. Meredith stabbed at the keyboard angrily and wiped her eyes harshly with her arm, glad when it hurt.

It was time to go to work and to forget.

It was too late though, if Meredith had any doubts at all about how she felt about Addison, they had been dashed when she had seen that handsome shirtless man in the redhead's hotel room.

She was in love with Addison Montgomery and she was going to die from heartache as she could not have her. How impossible was this?

_Fuck it all!_

Angrily, Meredith drove her car aggressively towards the hospital, determined to somehow manage to move on with her life. Maybe she could get a transfer to the East Coast somewhere? Anyplace but here...

* * *

Damn Cristina for not being at work yet.

Meredith desperately wanted to talk to her friend. She needed to hear Cristina say something unsuitable and funny and needed to feel loved. But, it seemed that Cristina was nowhere in the hospital so Meredith found herself standing in front of the board trying to see it through the layer of tears that obscured her vision.

Her phone had stopped ringing; apparently Addison had given up trying to call her. Just as well, Meredith was sure that she never wanted to hear from or see the other woman again.

Wrapped up in her thoughts, Meredith failed to notice the arrival of Doctor Mark Sloan until the man was basically standing on top of her. Looking up absently, Meredith felt her heart seize in her chest.

Mark was standing with Mr. Adonis from the hotel room.

Confusion clouded Meredith's mind and after a moment Mark seemed to take her silence as his cue to speak.

"Meredith. I want you to meet someone." He began cordially and Meredith felt her stomach twist itself into a Gordian knot of epic proportions.

"Oh?" She managed to squeak out.

"Yeah. This is my brother, Jason." Mark continued, oblivious to Meredith's confusion and angst.

"He's come to help Addison with a consult and to check out the Seattle nightlife." Mark added.

Meredith automatically reached out her hand and felt it grabbed by the man. "You were at the hotel this morning, right? Addison said you were a friend and she seemed really upset that she missed you." Jason, the man, said pleasantly.

Pleasantly? She wanted to rip this man's face off and he was being so nice.

"Man, you Sloans don't waste any time do you?" Meredith said sharply as she pulled her hand back and wondered if she had any hand sanitizer handy.

"What?" Mark asked, incredulous.

"First you, and now your brother. Don't you think Addison has had enough issues already because of a single Sloan?"

Mark started to laugh and his brother just looked bewildered.

"You know, Meredith, if I did not know any better I would swear you were jealous." Mark said between guffaws.

Meredith wanted to kick him in the balls.

"Jason, my brother is as gay as a three dollar bill. If anyone is on his radar here it certainly is not Addison." Mark extrapolated and Meredith felt her indignation and anger slowly start to turn to horror and mortification.

"I had dropped some coffee on my shirt and she mentioned that she had a tee shirt that might fit me and so I answered the door while she was running some cold water over my ruined shirt." Jason seemed so pleasant, and so reasonable, and now that Meredith actually paused to look at him for a moment, so very, very gay.

Jason turned away for a moment to admire a passing Intern, a male one, and Meredith took the opportunity to look at Mark and raise her eyebrows at him. Figured that there would be a gay version of the plastic surgeon. A man-whore as it were.

However, Meredith's main concern now was Addison and what had happened in the past hour.

_Oh shit..._

* * *

**Chapter 15**

"Have you seen Addison?" Meredith asked as soon as she came upon Richard Webber the moment she found him.

He would have a good idea where she was if anyone did. Addison was not answering her phone, or her pages and an attempt to call her hotel room had also been unsuccessful. Meredith was starting to feel frantic.

What if she could not fix this?

"Only briefly. She told me she was leaving early and that she would be back on Friday." Richard replied and Meredith nodded her thanks.

Where was she?

A quick series of pages to Cristina, Callie and Alex did not yield any fruitful results either. Great. Meredith made a decision and also paged Mark and Bailey, asking them to let her know if they saw Addison anyplace.

Meredith had a feeling though that the other woman was not in the hospital at all. Meredith could not blame her. What she had done this morning at the hotel to Addison was unforgivable. She just hoped that Addison would find it within herself to forgive her. Meredith pounded through the last hiding places that she thought that Addison might be in and kicked herself as she did.

Why had she done this?

Why had she assumed the worst?

Why didn't she listen?

Would she ever learn?

The questions were endless and there did not seem to be any answers just quickly available. She had to find Addison.

Joe's?

Swinging by the Resident's Lounge to get her stuff, Meredith made her way as quickly as possible to the bar in question and confirmed within the span of a glance that the redhead was not there.

Which was good, but also bad.

Not in the hospital and not at Joe's. Not answering at the hotel or anywhere else.

If only she knew more about Addison she might be able to figure out where the other woman would go to vent her anger or her sorrows, or just her frustrations for that matter. What if she never had the opportunity to find out?

Oh my God, what had she done?

Getting into her car Meredith sent off a message to Bailey telling her that she had some urgent personal business to attend to and would be back as soon as possible, Meredith started the engine and tapped the wheel impatiently.

Where do you go when you have a disposable income, traffic stopping looks that could get you into anywhere and were pissed off at your sort-of girlfriend?

* * *

It took her an hour, but Meredith finally decided that she would go to the hotel and wait for Addison to show up if she had to. Addison would have to come back to pick up her luggage before going to California. So, unless some major disaster at the hospital called her away, she would wait and hope that Addison was ready to hear her out.

Parking the car in what was becoming a familiar spot, Meredith made her way to the hotel and decided that first she would go and knock on Addison's door. It did not seem to be like the sort of thing that Addison would do; drown her sorrows with the mini bar, but Meredith was determined to cover all avenues.

The doors of the hotel opened obediently before her and Meredith walked into the now familiar lobby. Making her way to the elevators, Meredith quickly found herself in front of Addison's hotel room door. Taking a deep breath, Meredith knocked firmly, feeling her heart in her throat.

Listening intently, Meredith heard absolutely no sounds or movements from within the room and after a few moments concluded that Addison was not there.

Fantastic. Now what should she do?

Feeling despair creep over her, Meredith leaned against the wall next to Addison's door and slid down to a sitting position. It all felt so hopeless. What was she going to do? She had fucked it up, badly. Her insecurities, her lack of self worth, and her history had polluted a relationship even before it really began.

Was there a way that she could salvage this?

Self pity and remorse overwhelmed Meredith as she sat by the door and she felt hot tears begin to streak down her face.

Damn it.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice asked her, startling her from her miserable reverie.

Looking up into the kindly face of what looked to be the hotel janitor, Meredith blinked in incomprehension.

"What?" She asked, despite herself.

"You looked like your dog just died. Are you okay?" The man repeated gently.

"Uhm." Meredith offered, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket.

"Guess not, huh." The man said after a moment and then offered her a package of tissues.

"No, I am not okay. I messed up something important, and now I have no idea how I can fix it. She's not here, and she's not answering her phone. I don't know what to do." Meredith shocked herself by actually answering the man's question.

Why not though, he was a complete stranger that she was unlikely to ever meet again and he had a gentleness about his face that made him seem safe to talk to.

"You gotta do what your heart tells you to." The man offered after a moment, shuffling his scuffed work boots and scratching his left ear.

"But I can't find her." Meredith agonised out loud.

"Have you tried the hotel bar? It's where people go to drown their demons and from the sounds of it, she probably has a demon to drown." The man said with a smile in his voice.

Meredith looked up at him, wondering if he was laughing at her. Instead she just saw that he was offering her some hope. "Come on then." He continued, offering her his hand and a moment later she was standing on her feet and marching down the hallway to the elevators.

Before turning the corner, she glanced back at the man and smiled. "Thank you." She called out and received a friendly wave in return.

Making a mental note to pay the good deed of the anonymous man forward one day, Meredith got into the elevator with a pounding heart and headed down to the hotel lobby. Of course, that was the most natural place for Addison to be. Well, at least Meredith had gotten something right, she had found her way to the hotel.

True enough, when Meredith took some time to look at the bar from a distance, she could see Addison sitting in it. Why had she not thought of it sooner? Maybe she was intended to meet the kind man with the tissues and the sagely advice. Maybe.

Approaching the bar carefully Meredith wondered when Addison would notice her and choose to leave before she got there. The other woman seemed to have found a spot in the bar where she could observe all, but it would be somewhat harder to approach her without being noticed.

Meredith was sort of obvious wearing scrubs under her jacket and looking quite out of place overall. Addison noticed her almost at once. For a long moment, Meredith was certain that Addison would get up and leave but then she seemed to settle back down and Meredith took that as her cue to approach.

This was up to her now. She had to convince Addison that she was sorry and that it would not happen again and that it was worth it for Addison to give her a second chance. When Meredith reached the small table that Addison was sitting at, she wondered if it would be too presumptuous of her to sit down.

"Sit, Meredith. People are paying too much attention and it's none of their business." Addison's voice was cool and hard and Meredith wanted to cry when she heard it.

"I'm sorry." Meredith said just as soon as she had sat.

"It's going to take a lot more than, I'm sorry, Meredith." Addison said after a pause, finally raising her eyes to look at Meredith.

Addison looked hurt, deeply hurt. She also looked angry.

This was not going to be easy and Meredith knew it. It was worth it though, even if it took her days to talk Addison around. If she could have a second chance she would show Addison that her trust was not misplaces. Meredith swore this to herself as looked at Addison who was looking back at her expectantly.

"I know. But I have to start someplace." Meredith offered.

Addison did not smile. "What is the matter with you that you would immediately jump to such a conclusion about me, especially faced with such scant evidence. Especially without letting me get a word in edgeways." Addison said in an angry rush.

"I'm not done yet." Addison continued when Meredith started to reply.

Meredith decided that it was best if she let Addison say her piece before anything else happened.

"You ignored my pages and my calls and you were so jealous and petty and for what? For nothing." Addison pushed aside her untouched drink. "I was looking forward to seeing you and this is how you reward me?" Addison looked like she was going to cry tears of frustration.

"It was inexcusable, Addison. I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just don't." Meredith finally said when Addison seemed to be done and was expecting her to say something.

"You'd better figure it out, Meredith. I haven't got all night." Addison replied, clearly unmoved by Meredith's initial attempts to make amends.

"Can we go to your room?" Meredith pleaded gently.

She did not want to make a scene in the bar and she doubted Addison would want to either. "No, but we can go for a walk." Addison said at once, beginning to gather up her things and Meredith hurried to do the same.

Clearly Addison was not in the mood to be in an enclosed space with her just yet. Hopefully Meredith would be able to persuade her to change her mind before too long, she'd take a walk though. Anything was better than nothing. Meredith could not bear the thought of not having Addison in her life anymore.

She had to make this right.

* * *

"No talking, Meredith. Not yet anyway." Addison said firmly as soon as they reached the street.

Meredith decided that obeying Addison right now would be a good thing. They walked in silence for a couple of blocks and then Addison guided Meredith to a small park. Really, it was barely more than a couple of benches and some flower beds and some old shade trees, but it was deserted.

"So, Meredith. Is sorry all you have to say for yourself?" Addison asked, her voice hard and angry.

"How could you do this to me? To us?" Addison demanded.

Meredith tried to reply but was not given any opportunity to do so. "Is it your way to sabotage relationships? Is this what you do?" Addison's voice was low, but Meredith could hear her anger and hurt and bewilderment clearly.

It tore at her and made her wish that she could turn back time. She wished she could take it back, get over her insecurities and grow up and then bound into Addison's hotel this morning and kiss her and bring her coffee and wish her good morning.

Instead, she had done this.

She had hurt the woman she was in love with and who had given her an evening that she would not soon forget. Why had she done this?

"I haven't got all day, Meredith." Addison probed pointedly.

"I don't know why I did it. I saw Mark's brother and just my mind decided to assume the worst. I think I just. I don't..." Meredith fumbled for words and when she looked at Addison she only saw a closed expression and frustration on the other woman's face.

"Try harder, Meredith." Addison finally said.

Meredith took a deep breath and started again. "I have trust issues. I think I was expecting the worst, or thinking you may not be real. I was jealous, insecure and unable or unwilling to stop myself from freaking out." Meredith hoped that Addison would at least be willing to hear what she had to say.

She seemed to be, but the park they were in made it easy to walk away. Meredith could no bear the thought of Addison walking away from her.

"I understand issues, Meredith. But you did not let me explain, and I should not have had to explain myself anyway. You should have said hi to Jason, or let him tell you who he was. He knew who you were, I had just been telling him about you." Addison said, her voice quiet.

"Oh, God." Meredith burried her face in her hands.

"God is not going to help you here, Meredith." Addison replied.

* * *

"What can I do?" Meredith asked finally after trying vainly to come up with something herself.

"I don't know, Meredith. I want to understand, but at the same time I just want to shake you or cry or walk away." Addison replied.

Meredith felt her heart seize in reaction to Addison's words.

"I grew up being told I was never good enough and somehow trying to live up to a woman who was impossible to please." Meredith said in a rush, hoping to at least delay Addison from walking away if it came to that.

"I'm broken, Addison" Meredith added. "It's not your job to fix me, but please give me a chance to fix myself." She added.

"I have mommy issues too." Addison said softly.

At least her voice was not so hard anymore. "I think everyone has mommy issues." Meredith allowed.

Addison nodded at her assessment. "I won't be treated this way, Meredith. I won't." She sounded frustrated now. "This is not high school, this is life." Addison finally sat down next to Meredith and they spent a few moments watching a pigeon peck at the dirt.

"If you can't give me the benefit of the doubt, especially when I have given you no reason to doubt me, we can't be." Addison finally said.

"You have to decide who you want. You don't have to tell Derek about me, but you have to choose which one of us you will be with." Meredith nodded as the redhead spoke.

"I know." She said softly. "You are being very patient." She murmured.

"Do not mistake my patience with me being a pushover or someone you can treat like you did this morning." Addison's voice was hard and Meredith felt the threat of tears as she listened.

What has she done?

"I have to get ready, I am leaving tomorrow back to California." Addison sighed as she spoke.

"Why did you have to do this? Why Meredith?" Addison demanded as she crossed her arms and continued to glare at the pigeon.

"I won't do it again, I promise." Meredith said with all the sincerely that she felt.

"Huh." Addison replied but did not elaborate further.

Meredith hoped that it was a sign that Addison was going to give her another chance.

They walked back to the hotel in a more companionable silence than they had left and when Addison did not seem to object, Meredith decided to accompany the redhead to her hotel room.

Addison did not speak for the duration of the elevator trip or the walk through the corridors of the hotel. Once at her door, Addison quickly unlocked the door and stepped into her room. Meredith waited until Addison had turned towards her once more before taking a step closer.

"Are we okay?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know, Meredith." Addison replied, her face a study of emotion. "I'll see you when I get back." Meredith took a step back at the words.

She realised that Addison was not going to be receptive to any attempts to lighten the situation and the tears that had been threatening since Meredith had arrived at the hotel finally spilled down her cheeks. They were hot, filled with anger and sorrow, heartache and shame.

Why had she done this?

Looking up at Addison, she saw that the other woman's face had grown impassive, but her eyes, they spoke volumes.

Meredith wondered if she could possibly hold on to hope while Addison was gone. She would have to. This was worth it.

Finally Addison stepped back from the doorway and began to close the door. "Have a safe trip." Meredith managed to say before the door was completely closed.

"Goodbye, Meredith." Addison said by way of reply and Meredith felt her heart seize in her chest at the finality of the words.

Somehow she was going to have to hold on to hope; despite the overwhelming odds that a contrary action would be more logical.

* * *

**Chapter 16**

When Meredith arrived back at the hospital she was almost at once informed by Bailey that Derek wanted to see her.

Great, a crowning moment for her day. A surefire argument with her boyfriend-cum-husband whom she no longer wished to know in any of those contexts. Add to that, he was her boss, in more ways than one.

She needed to talk to Cristina.

Derek first, though. Might as well get it over with as soon as possible.

Arriving at his office a few minutes later, Meredith knocked once and stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"Where have you been?" Derek asked without preamble.

"I had a personal matter to attend to." Meredith replied, feeling defensive.

"And you won't tell me what it is?" Derek inquired, shuffling some papers on his desk.

"You know, if it were not for the fact that all the attending doctors are giving you good reviews, I would be tempted to put you on suspension." Derek said after a moment.

"For what? A personal matter?" Meredith asked, incredulous.

It was an incredibly hypocritical thing for him to say. Not too long ago he had skipped work for almost a week while he held a drunken self-pity party in the woods.

"What's going on with you?" Derek asked, ignoring her question which infuriated Meredith.

"I am having some personal issues, Derek. I don't have to share everything with you, do I? I mean you don't share everything with me." Meredith replied.

She was not lying, she just was not telling the whole truth.

"I'd think you were having an affair, but everyone I ask says they have only seen you with Cristina, Callie, Bailey or Addison and there is no time to do anything except work anyway." Derek said after a beat.

"Is this what you called me in here for, to discuss personal matters?" Meredith fumed at him.

How dare he use his position to do this. At least Richard had backed down when she had made it clear that she did not want to deal with the mixture of the professional and the personal in this manner.

"I can't seem to get hold of you otherwise." Derek replied, sounding pleased with himself.

"Well, make sure you include, it's personal, in your page next time so I can save the bother of coming here. If you want to talk to me about personal stuff, then you're going to have to face me at home. So either stay up, come home earlier, or deal with it in some other way." Meredith said firmly.

"I warned Richard to not do things like this. Don't make me have to tell you where the line is as well." With those words, Meredith decided that she was fed up with the conversation so she turned and started to walk out.

"This isn't over, Meredith." Derek said just as she opened the door.

Nice. As if she did not have enough to think about as it was.

* * *

"Meredith." Hearing the sound of Richard Webber's voice made Meredith pause mid-stride.

"Yes?" Meredith asked warily.

She was trying to make sure that she could leave the hospital soon. She needed to get away from prying eyes, she wanted to talk with Cristina. She needed to cry and she needed to pray or yell at the sky, or something.

Richard caught up with her and Meredith looked at him expectantly. "What can I do for you, Doctor Webber?" Meredith had preferred it when Richard had been Chief.

Her mother's former lover may have had his flaws, but as Chief he had been very good and he lacked the arrogance that Derek had. Being Chief was not about ego, it was about pride and people.

"Have you got a few minutes to talk?" Before Richard may have simply assumed that she had the time, now he asked.

"Okay." Meredith could only guess at what the man wanted to talk to her about, but she could not ignore it, not really.

"Good." Richard said and a few moments later they were safely ensconced in a conference room, away from prying eyes and ears.

"What's going on between you and Addison?" Doctor Webber asked without preamble once Meredith had sat down and began to fidget.

At the mention of Addison's name, Meredith felt the threat of tears. She had been trying to hold it together at work. She needed to break down and freak out, but because of Derek and because of so many reasons she could not do that at the hospital, or at least she did not want to.

"Meredith." Richard said softly, moving closer to her and touching her hand gently.

Looking up at her quasi father figure, Meredith felt a single tear escape her eyes and lowered her gaze once more.

"Oh Meredith." Richard said after a moment.

"What are you going to do?" He asked, obviously picking up on her distress.

"She's going back to California and she's mad at me and I don't know if I can handle it and then there is Derek." Meredith said in a rush.

"It's not about what Derek wants, Meredith. This is about you and your life." Richard said soothingly. "It's time you live it." He added.

Meredith nodded, feeling another tear escape.

"You should get out of here soon." Richard handed Meredith a tissue as he said this and for a few moments Meredith felt a sense of relief that someone else knew her secret.

"What if she does not forgive me?" Meredith asked as she blew her nose.

"You'll have to fight that battle when it comes then, Meredith." Richard replied.

Meredith nodded and rose to her feet, squeezing the man's hand briefly before she left the conference room and closed the door softly behind her.

Richard Webber was a good man, but Addison was still mad at her and Meredith could feel the threat of a major breakdown lingering on the edges of her mind. She needed to get away from the hospital and maybe see if Addison would take a call from her, or something.

She could not just let the other woman go back to California still angry. Anything could happen in a few days and Meredith had learned the hard way not to leave things unsaid or undone until tomorrow; tomorrow may never come.

* * *

No Cristina. Meredith finally had to give up on trying to find her friend and simply asked Cristina to call her as soon as she could. Meredith desperately wanted to talk with her _person_.

Meredith had already decided that she was not going to give Addison up without a fight. Right now though, she was in despair as to how exactly she was going to accomplish that. Now however, she wanted to get out of the hospital and get some privacy.

Rushing out to her car, she drove home quickly and then hurried up to her room. It was late, really late and she wanted to see if she could catch Addison still awake.

The phone was answered after one ring. "Meredith." Addison's voice purred over the line and Meredith felt her heart catch.

"Addison." She replied, hoping that her voice did not give her nerves away too much.

"I wanted to talk with you some more." Meredith swore to herself that she would not cry.

"Okay." Addison said and Meredith could hear the shift of cloth as she moved.

Addison was in bed and the knowledge brought Meredith's problems to the forefront. Just a little while ago she had spent the night sleeping against Addison's side in that very bed and now they were here right now in this mess. All because Meredith had issues and those issues had clouded her judgement and had made her act like a bitch towards one of the most important persons in her life.

"Please give me another chance, Addison. I really don't want to fuck this up. I want this to be good. I want you and me, I want us." Meredith finally found her voice.

"This is not about another chance, Meredith. It is about respect and how little you respected me this morning. And it is also about trust." Addison sighed into the phone.

"You're right." Meredith said at once.

"Please don't walk away from me." Meredith realised that she really did not have the right to ask Addison this, after all she herself had walked away this morning.

"You need to give me reasons not to." Addison moved again in her bed and Meredith realised once more that she would not be able to live without knowing what it felt like to sleep with Addison again.

"I'm sorry, Addison. It won't happen again. I promise you." Meredith said softly into the phone.

"I know, Meredith. The problem is though that this was not a simple thing, or a small thing. This was major. It should not have happened in the first place." Addison sounded much warmed than she had before in the day when they had spoken face to face.

Meredith supposed that the phone allowed a level of intimacy and privacy that was suitable for this particular situation.

"Forgive me. I know this is not as simple as that, we need to talk about it and I need to remember the lessons." Meredith whispered.

"It's going to take time Meredith. I can't forgive you right now." Addison said softly in reply

"Goodnight, Meredith." Addison said after some silence.

"Goodnight." Meredith replied and when she heard the phone go dead, the tears that had been threatening to escape all afternoon and evening finally did escape.

Rolling over, she burried her face in her pillow and wept, almost keening with the pain caused by the possibility of losing someone she cared for. This could not happen. Not this time and not with this woman.

There had to be a way to make it right.

* * *

Meredith had been staring at her phone for at least fifteen minutes when she heard her doorbell. Great, just what she needed, a visitor.

Hopefully it was not her father, or her sister. Meredith was not sure that she could deal with either person at this time. Lexie was too emotional, her father was a stranger she only liked sometimes and he was fraught with issues when it came to interactions with Meredith. It would be hard for her to be civil to either person tonight.

Opening her door, Meredith almost sagged in relief when she saw Cristina standing at her door with a six pack in one hand and a bag of takeout in another.

"Apparently you are in need of Doctor Yang." Her best friend said without preamble and stepped into the house.

"Is McDipshit here?" Cristina asked in a stage whisper.

"No." Meredith said simply and followed Cristina to the kitchen.

"So, what's going on that has you leaving fifty messages for me and paging me twenty times?" Cristina inquired, sitting down and looking at Meredith.

"I fucked up." Meredith said, feeling the threat of tears.

"Mommy issues again?" Cristina asked, offering Meredith an open beer and a plate of greasy food.

"Yeah." Meredith replied.

"Well, let's eat, insult the intelligence of our bosses, our boyfriends, and complain about our mothers after that." Cristina did not ask for further details. "And you can insult your girlfriend too, if you like. I'll add my roommate to the insult list that way we have even more to complain about."

It made Cristina the perfect friend. She was happy to simply let Meredith be Meredith and Cristina loved her anyway. It had not always been an easy path or a smooth road between them but Meredith knew that she always had Cristina.

It was better than being alone.

* * *

It was only some hours later when she was alone again and not approaching any sort of somnolence, that she felt her anguish and fear overwhelm her again. What if Addison did not forgive her?

It was an unbearable thought.

Meredith could have kicked herself. Maybe she should get a kicking machine to kick herself one of these days.

The roil of oily food and beer in her stomach was not encouraging, so Meredith rose from the bed and wandered into her living room and sat down on the sofa, staring into the dimness of the space and wishing that just for one she could have a normal reaction to something, whatever the hell normal was.

What if Addison did not forgive her?

Meredith felt fresh fear and new tears overwhelm her as she pulled her legs up, hugging them herself and looked out into the night beyond the windows. It was dark, hard to see and with long shadows outside. Somehow it was a fitting metaphor for how Meredith felt inside of herself.

What if Addison did not forgive her?

Six am. Meredith blinked at the dawn as it started to sneak its way across the sky. She had not been to bed yet and was now sitting in the kitchen, sipping bad coffee and willing her phone to ring.

Meredith had already run out of prayers, not that she was the praying sort anyway. She had also run out of tears and had spent the last few hours emotionally and mentally kicking herself and had run out of things to kick herself about.

Maybe her mother was right; she was simply not good enough.

The sun began to crawl along the table and soon its light and warmth snuck up Meredith's arm and to her face and for long moments Meredith was blinded by its brilliance. It felt wonderful, even though it stung. Like a moment of clarity but as soon as it arrived it was gone and after it had left and moved further along the morning, Meredith was left with her questions, and doubts and fears once more.

Her coffee was cold and she needed to go to work soon. Thankfully she did not have the obscenely early shift today, she would not have been able to face it with any sort of alacrity.

Her phone vibrated and Meredith almost spilled her cold coffee in startled reaction.

It was a text message. Meredith snatched up the phone and quickly checked. It was from Addison. Did she dare to actually read the message?

_I forgive you. See you in three days. - Addison_

Meredith blinked at the message, feeling an overpowering sense of relief flood her system. It felt like she was going to throw up, actually.

Quickly Meredith rose to her feet and rushed to the kitchen sink and stood there shaking for what felt like a long time.

Oh my God.

Eventually Meredith lit a fire under herself and started to get ready for work. She had three days to figure out a plan on how to win back Addison's trust. Three days to stew in her own thoughts. She would also need to deal with Derek.

So much to do, but now there was hope.

With a huge sigh, Meredith managed to type out a quick reply to Addison before closing her phone.

_Thank you. See you in three days. - Meredith_

* * *

**Chapter 17**

Meredith hurried to work, deciding on an intuitive level that Addison would need some space and peace while she was in California. Meredith for her part intended to use the time to come up with something to resume wooing Addison and to bring their relationship back on track. And she needed to do something about Derek.

In some ways Derek was a more pressing problem than Addison as he was part of the problem with everything. Addison was showing remarkable restraint and patience about Meredith's indecisiveness. Meredith had actually made her decision, she was just reluctant to implement it.

She had better get a move on or she may lose more than one relationship.

However, she doubted that Derek would make it simple or easy and she was forced to work with him, so actually implementing her wishes and thoughts was another thing altogether. If only just one thing was a little less complicated than impossible seeming.

Meredith sighed in frustration as she pulled into the hospital parking lot and turned off the ignition. Talking with Cristina was extremely cathartic and Cristina was her person, but Meredith really felt like she needed someone else to talk to. Someone more experienced with life, perhaps?

Maybe she would take Richard up on his offer to listen.

Meredith doubted that the man would object to Meredith following her heart. He was nothing, if not committed to Meredith's happiness.

It might take some persuading though to convince him that with Addison she would really be happy. Richard would be on her side though. He had been a good friend to Derek at one point, and the two men did still get along most of the time, but the friendship had existed at another time, and this was now.

She had better get a move on. If she intended to woo Addison, plan a date and do her job, there would not be a whole lot of time to sit around woolgathering over the next few days.

She also needed to figure out how to break up with Derek.

Meredith found that she felt a huge sense of relief, tinged though it was with sadness, at the idea of getting away from Derek. His presence in her life had complicated things and made her feel sometimes like she was no longer Meredith, like she had become another person separate from who she was.

Addison did not make her feel that way. With her there was an ease and a casualness and an understated sensuality that was captivating yet not overpowering in the oftentimes suffocating way that Derek has, even when he was trying not to pressure her or said he would wait or that he had no conditions.

With him there were always conditions, one just had to learn how to find them.

"Grey!" Meredith looked up at her voice being called out.

"You're with Doctor Robbins today." Meredith blinked a little at Bailey's words, but she did not especially object though.

Doctor Robbins was an excellent doctor and Meredith liked the woman. Maybe she would pick up some tips on how to woo a woman from the Paediatric Surgeon?

Maybe...

Things between Callie and Arizona had been the talk of the hospital briefly, but when the relationship has settled down into what it was right now, it had dropped off the radar. Hospital gossip was only interesting when it was juicy.

Meredith cringed inwardly at what the grapevine would say when she and Addison managed to get mixed up in it. Would it become non-news in time?

Probably not. Well, maybe eventually, but it would not be an easy road.

Meredith was used to things being complicated, though.

She'd manage. She always did in the end.

Making her way to Paediatrics, Meredith put on her game face and tried to bring in her scattered focus. She would have time soon enough to start to plan for Addison's return and with some luck, she would be able to consult the hospital's foremost expert in women, get some tips about dating or something?

Maybe. Provided no one was there listening to the conversation that is. She did not know Arizona so well, maybe she should go to Callie instead, though?

In any case, it was time to get to work. The rest of the day would wait until she could get to it.

* * *

"Doctor Grey, I need you to bring these scans to Doctor Shepherd." Arizona Robbins said to Meredith.

It was just past noon and the morning had gone smoothly thus far. Meredith sighed silently and took the scans from the cheerful surgeon. Meredith speculated that she might be cheerful if she was sleeping with Callie Torres and there were no problems on the horizon to cloud the situation.

"The patient needs a shunt and I want you to scrub in on the surgery with us." Doctor Robbins went on to say and Meredith felt a flicker of anticipation at the idea of being involved with the surgery.

Arizona would be performing an additional procedure while Derek worked on the boy's spinal fluid issue. Well, the blonde doctor would probably ensure that Derek behaved herself. Despite her disposition, Arizona Robbins was no shrinking violent by any means.

Hurrying off to do the good doctor's bidding, Meredith obsessively checked her phone, no message from Addison. That was okay though, Meredith intended to have a plan ready when the redhead came back and it would succeed. Failure was not an option.

"Doctor Shepherd." Meredith said as she arrived.

Derek looked up at her and scowled slightly. How mature.

"Doctor Robbins wants you to look at these scans and let her know when you are available for surgery." Meredith said as she handed the scans over to Derek.

"I'll be scrubbing in on this one." She added almost absently.

Derek did not react and deciding that his silence was a dismissal, Meredith left and decided to head back to the paediatrics ward. Derek could call Arizona himself, she was not about to act as a messenger for him.

Stepping into an elevator, Meredith felt almost pleased when Richard Webber stepped in behind her and acknowledged her warmly.

"Doctor Grey." He said, a smile in his voice.

"Doctor Webber." Meredith replied, unable to stop her face from grinning at the man.

Making a sudden decision, Meredith hit the emergency stop button and turned to her boss cum mentor. "I have a question for you." She began, unsure of how exactly she would proceed.

"Go ahead." The man said warmly.

"If you could do it over, would you choose my mother?" The question was slightly unfair, but it was highly applicable to her own situation.

"I would." He replied at once.

Meredith blinked at the lack of hesitation in his reply.

"You should go with your heart, Meredith." He added. "Living a life of second guessing your decisions and not doing what you truly desire is no way to live." He continued.

Meredith stood in silence for a long moment and then she nodded. "Thank you." She whispered and hit the emergency stop button again, allowing the elevator to jerk into motion.

Richard smiled at her and then stepped off at the next floor, leaving Meredith with a greater sense of peace than she had started her day with.

* * *

"What do you mean I won't be scrubbing in?" Meredith asked, incredulous.

What had happened in the past two hours to cause this?

"I'm sorry, Doctor Grey, but Doctor Shepherd specifically requested Doctor Karev." Arizona Robbins looked very apologetic, but why was Derek able to call the shots on this?

Meredith would have been assisting both Doctors as needed, but she was working with Doctor Robbins today, so it would seem that the Paediatric Surgeon would have had the final say as to if she would be scrubbing in or not.

Why had Derek done this?

Deciding to find out, she stalked off in search of her de-facto husband.

She did not have to look far, she practically ran into him coming around the corner on his way to the surgery that she should have been scrubbing into. "What are you doing, Derek. This was my surgery!" Meredith raised her voice, uncaring of who overheard or how Derek reacted.

"It's mine now, Meredith and I think you are professionally compromised when it comes to me, so I don't want you in my OR. End of story." Derek hissed, obviously embarrassed at the scene that Meredith was causing.

"Professionally? What are you talking about? This is personal with you. There is absolutely nothing in my performance to suggest we don't work well together. Damn it! " Meredith was fuming.

So it had come to this. Derek was unable to separate the professional from the personal anymore. Meredith would double her efforts to make sure that she would be able to maintain those boundaries, starting now.

"Very well, Doctor Shepherd." Meredith said coldly.

If he wanted professional, he would get it.

He would also regret it.

With barely concealed anger, Meredith walked away oblivious to whatever Derek might have been going to say next. You could never un-ring a bell and Derek had just rang the bell.

_What an arrogant, controlling asshole!_

Just wait until Cristina found out.

* * *

"He what?" Cristina asked in a suitably outraged tone of voice.

"Yeah." Meredith answered glumly.

"You need help to hide the bodies yet?" Cristina asked as she took a bite of her salad.

"It's beginning to feel like it." Meredith murmured.

"I gotta go, you let me know if I need to bring shovels someplace, okay?" Cristina hauled herself up and left with a wave of her hand.

"Well, I suppose I should also get going as well." Meredith said to herself and rose to her feet.

Just because Arizona was in surgery without Meredith, did not mean that there was no work to be done in the Paediatrics Ward.

It took Meredith a scant give minutes to reach her destination and only half a minute before she was snagged by another doctor for help. "Have you got a minute, Doctor Grey?" Meredith head snapped up at the voice.

Doctor Jason Sloan.

"Uh, sure." Meredith replied, feeling her shame, jealousy, and ire all mix into one as she followed the handsome man down the hallway.

"I need a good surgeon to assist me with a case and you come highly recommended." Jason Sloan said as they walked together into a room.

"I do?" Meredith asked.

"You do. Or so Addison told me and that counts for a very high recommendation indeed." He continued.

"I see." Meredith replied as she came to a stop in front of some scans and pictures.

Addison has told him this about her? It made her wonder what else Addison had told him about her. It was becoming hard to think all of a sudden.

"So, what do you think?" The doctor asked when Meredith had spent some moments looking at the scans blankly.

"Looks simple enough. But why are you doing this?" Meredith was not one to beat around the bush.

Thankfully she could think on her feet easily enough. Lot's of practise.

"It's my speciality." He replied easily.

It was easy to see that he was Mark Sloan's brother.

"Your speciality is Paediatric Oncology?" Meredith was surprised.

"Yep." He answered in the same easy way as before.

"So, tell me Doctor Grey and this is between just you and me of course. Is there something going on with you and Addison." Jason asked her after a moment passed.

Meredith coughed slightly in shock and felt a flush crawl up her face from her neck.

Jason laughed and squeezed her arm gently at her reaction shocking Meredith again. She was not used to people just casually touching her, and especially not virtual strangers that she wanted to kick down stairs barely thirty-six hours prior.

"I see. She's pretty mad at you. You better do something more than simply give her flowers when she gets back from California." He said, easily divining her answer even though she did not technically give it to him.

"I don't know what, actually." Meredith said before she could think better of it.

"Ah, well then, it's good that you are working here today then as I am here and let me tell you, I know just what to do. I'm just that fabulous." Meredith laughed out loud at that.

"So, have you had any ideas at all?" The man asked after a beat.

"Not really. The problem is I don't really know her all that well. I was the dirty mistress in the beginning, and technically she is that right now." Meredith extrapolated, feeling somehow instantly and quickly comfortable with the man who was Mark Sloan's brother.

"Well, everyone needs a gay friend, trust me on this." Jason said lightly, sounding very pleased with himself.

"Addison likes the outdoors." Jason began conspiratorially.

Meredith leaned in to listen to what he had to say as if he had the answers to the meaning of life and was giving them away for free.

It would seem that it was a good thing that Derek has stolen her surgery after all.

* * *

**Chapter 18**

By evening Meredith was armed with a much better understanding of Addison Montgomery and using that knowledge, so let her fingers do the walking, or well her mouse button do the walking and found out some information online.

Tomorrow she would make some phone calls and hopefully be able to make some arrangements with regards to the plan to woo Addison back. It had to work and talking with Jason Sloan had really been an education to say the least.

He was talkative, but also extremely easy to talk to and it seemed that he had an intuitive grasp of not only Addison, but the importance that Meredith had in Addison's life. So, while he was forthcoming with suggestions and ideas, he never seemed to cross the boundary into sharing too much. Meredith hoped that she would have a lifetime to learn the rest.

Hearing the front door close, Meredith put away her research and feigned sleep. Hopefully Derek would not want sex tonight. He had been getting more and more insistent in the last week or two and Meredith was running out of valid reasons to say no. Soon she would have to tell him the actual reason.

It was over.

She worked with Derek and shared a house with him, so it was, or at least it did not seem to be so simple to get out of this situation.

Meredith reasoned with herself that she was probably over thinking the situation, but that was what she did; she over thought everything.

Derek did not come to bed and Meredith supposed he had decided to sleep on the couch or in the study and it made Meredith infinitely glad. Even something as minor as not having to deal with his angry breathing for a night was a huge relief.

Rolling over, Meredith decided to try to get some sleep. Tomorrow would be a long day and she would need to find the time and energy to make some plans. Meredith wanted the second date with Addison to be as memorable and as special as the first had been. Of course, it remained to be seen if Addison could be persuade to go on another date with Meredith.

She's have to persuade Addison, there was not other choice.

As sleep overcame her, Meredith wondered how the redhead was doing. Just another thirty six hours and Addison would be arriving at the airport again.

Meredith could barely wait.

* * *

"I need it for the weekend. Is that possible?" Meredith said into her phone as she walked through the hospital the next morning. "For Sunday." She added for emphasis.

"Okay, I will call back in the afternoon to confirm the reservation." Meredith said pleasantly and then thanked the person on the other end of the line before hanging up.

Things were looking up. Now the only thing that remained was to persuade Addison to go out with her. She needed to find Jason again soon and go over some details with him. It seemed somehow hysterical that she was consulting with a flamboyantly gay man about how best to get back into the good graces of a woman. The world never ceased to amaze her, even as it made her roll her eyes until her brain hurt sometimes.

Maybe she was starting to channel Doctor Bailey.

"Meredith." Hearing her name Meredith looked over at Little Grey.

Her half-sister. It was such a mixed feeling, but one that Meredith was invested enough in to have given her estranged father a piece of her liver for. The things the illogically logical world made us do. Meredith mused this briefly as she waited for Lexie to say whatever she was going to say.

"I haven't got all day, Lexie. Get to the point." Meredith eventually prompted when it looked like Lexie was going to spend the next few minutes alternating between blushing and not saying anything.

"Don't you think Derek should know?" Lexie finally managed to cough out.

Meredith felt a chill at her sister's words.

"Eventually. It's not really any of your business, Lexie, so please, just keep your mouth shut about it. If you tell even one person and that person is the wrong person, the whole hospital will know within an hour." Meredith said firmly.

God, she hoped that Lexie would keep her mouth shut. She was a good kid, but she did not have the discretion or the knowledge to know who not to tell.

"Okay." Lexie said, obviously wanting to remain in Meredith's good graces.

Hopefully that would remain her modus operandi.

"You'll be among the first to know when I have decided what to do." Meredith assured her sister and then disengaged the conversation.

She was not ready to get this intimate with her half-sister. Maybe some day.

Just not now.

It had taken her ten minutes to have a run in with Derek. While on the one hand she was glad that she had missed the surgery yesterday she was still furious about it.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, I was out of line." Derek said as he stood next to her in front of the board.

"Yes, you were." Meredith conceded, wondering why he was being nice all of a sudden.

Was he worried that he had pushed too hard?

It was too late.

"I'm sorry." He said again, sounding like a windup doll.

"Okay, Derek. I hear you." Meredith said and after committing her schedule to memory she walked away from him.

It was too late to say sorry. He had been an oppressive and suffocating presence in her life for too long now and Meredith just wanted to live now. He was only a factor in that she was going to have to figure out how to disentangle him from her life with hopefully minimal damage.

Fat chance of that.

The fallout was going to be devastating.

Meredith cringed at the thought as she went off in search of Doctor Bailey, who would be assisting Doctor Robbins and Doctor Jason Sloan today in removing a difficult tumour from a child. Meredith had seen the scans the day before and she had been requested to be part of the team.

It was not a surgery that Derek could be involved with unless he really decided to get into Meredith's face, so she was grateful that his interference would be minimal, at least for today.

Eventually Meredith found her fellow doctors and felt a surge of warmth when each one looked at her in a very welcoming fashion. Derek may see her as a problem and not want to operate with her, but plenty of others felt the opposite was true.

Screw Derek.

Happily anticipating the surgery, working with Bailey, _Gay_ Sloan and Arizona and also with finalising her Sunday plans, Meredith quickly focused on what she was doing and went into full doctor mode.

She had a reputation to build and a reputation to uphold, after all. She also wanted her mentors, friends, and colleagues to be proud of her. She wanted to be proud of herself as well.

* * *

"Hold here." It was Bailey who spoke as the foursome of doctors worked in synch to save this child's life in the OR.

Meredith reached into the body cavity of the patient without hesitation, marvelling as she always did at the fact that she had her hands in and on the living viscera of another human being. It was a thrill that was tinged with fear and the adrenalin rush that accompanied it was intense.

She sometimes wondered if she would have become a surgeon had her mother not been so famous and so intense about being a surgeon. It no longer mattered though, Meredith was a surgeon and she was earning herself a reputation and an identity that was separate from her mother.

As she worked, she heard her cell phone vibrate on the tray of phones and pagers that accompanied all doctors into surgery these days. A nurse went and checked the phone and then looked up at Meredith.

"Doctor Grey, do you want me to check this message for you?" The woman asked.

It was unlikely to be an urgent message so Meredith shook her head, she would check it later when the surgery was done. Nurses generally did not answer the phones or text messages, their main job was to check pages in case something urgent came up. But with surgeons easily spending four, or six or ten hours in surgery, cell phones and sometimes even laptops came along.

It was a brave new world.

Sometime later found Meredith exhausted and in an On Call room laying down just as soon as she had been able to tear herself away.

With her eyes closed and wearing fresh scrubs, Meredith willed her phone to vibrate or ring, even though she knew that Addison was unlikely to call her unless there was some emergency, or her schedule changed.

Still, Meredith liked to hope.

The text she had received in the OR was a short message confirming that her plans for the weekend were on. All she needed to do was muster the energy to call and confirm reservations and to make sure that her plans for the weekend would run smoothly. All of it of course hinged on Addison and getting her to participate, but Meredith was confident. She had everything to gain by doing this right.

Her pager went off.

Hauling herself upright, Meredith made her way quickly to her patient's room. He was waking up and there would be questions and Meredith was expected to be there as she was part of the team.

She liked that turn of phrase. Part of the team.

* * *

"Yes." Meredith was haggling with her credit card company.

Finally they acquiesced to her wishes and allowed the deposit to be charged and Meredith was able to relax. What a disaster it would be if her credit card was rejected at this point. She was not as tight up for money as many other Residents, but she was not exactly rolling in dough and life was expensive.

Finally as she sat down to have some coffee and some minutes off her feet, Meredith decided that she was going to send Addison a text message. Carefully she composed the missive on the tiny screen of her phone and tried to calm her pounding heart.

Funny how 140 characters could mean so much.

_Hi, it's raining here. You will bring the sunshine when you come back. - Meredith_

Almost deciding not to send the message, Meredith finally pressed send and slapped shut her phone.

It was done.

Putting her phone down she took a nervous sip of her coffee. Hopefully Addison would not mind her message, not that Meredith expected her to. It's just that she was so out of touch with how to woo and how to communicate with someone that you wanted to date.

In some ways she felt an affinity for the Chief, or well, Doctor Webber. She was out of touch with dating due to not having to put it into practise for a long time. Maybe they could have a chat and give each other pointers?

Meredith laughed at herself.

The phone vibrated with a message.

Almost chocking on her sip of coffee, Meredith snatched it up and opened it, quickly accessing her text messages.

It was from Addison.

Opening the message, she carefully read the little screen.

_I think the sunshine is in Seattle already. - Addison_

After reading the message four more times, Meredith finally took a deep breath and felt her body and soul sag with relief.

This would work.

It would.

Ellis Grey, for all her shortcomings had not raised a quitter and Meredith would not quit on Addison. Failure was not an option.

* * *

By the time came to go home, Meredith was giddy with anticipation. Tomorrow Addison would be back and so fat Meredith's plans were going well. Her credit card had been accepted and she had found someone to cover for her on the weekend and Derek was mostly staying out of her way as well.

Also, no one had died today and she had participated in a complex and demanding surgery with doctors that she both liked and respected.

It has been a good day.

When she got into bed to sleep, Meredith felt a happiness that had eluded her for a long time. She was asleep before she realised what had happened.

When morning came, Meredith woke with her alarm clock for a change and made her way through the house. No evidence of Derek. She wondered where he was spending his nights these days. She also wondered if she cared.

It was time to shower and get to work. Addison would undoubtedly make her way to the hospital as soon as she had situated herself at the hotel so Meredith wanted to make sure to be at the hospital as well. Missing Addison today would be impossible. It was Friday, she had plans for them on Sunday.

Deciding that she did not care where Derek had been last night, Meredith made her way to the car and quickly drove herself to the hospital.

Cristina was waiting for Meredith by the doorway holding two cups of coffee in her hands. Meredith was very glad to see her friend. Cristina almost always made her feel better, and if nothing else, Cristina made her feel loved. It was a special bond they shared and Meredith treasured it.

"How are things?" Cristina asked as they walked together into the hospital.

"Addison is coming back today." Meredith said by way of reply.

She felt unreasonably exited about it. Meredith could not wait to see the redhead and she could not wait until Sunday.

"I need to talk her into going on a date with me." Meredith added after they had stepped into the elevator together.

"Ambush. Catch her at a moment when she is off guard and in a good mood and she is bound to say yes." Cristina advised.

It was a good idea.

Meredith nudged her friend and smiled at her. "She can't say no to me, right? I mean you'd go on a date with me, right?" It was fun to watch Cristina's face react to the statement.

"With kissing and stuff?" Cristina asked, sounding like she has just been asked to scrub in for an orthopaedic surgery.

Meredith just laughed happily at Cristina.

Addison was coming back to Seattle today.

The morning went smoothly and Meredith found herself about to scrub for an orthopaedic surgery of all things. Well, Callie was unique to be around and Meredith knew that despite Cristina's assessment that the speciality was about as subtle as carpentry, it was actually an extremely demanding field.

Meredith was just about to make her way get ready when Addison arrived and Addison knew how to make an entrance, even when she was not trying to.

"Hi." Addison said when she arrived within earshot of Meredith.

Meredith struggled to contain her reaction at Addison's presence, but she needed to.

"Hi." Meredith replied, feeling a blush start to creep up her face and neck.

"There is something for you in your cubby in the Resident's Lounge." Addison said with a smile that made Meredith think of many things, none of them especially related to being at work.

Meredith found herself fascinated at once. Addison had gotten her something? She wanted to rush off and get it, at once. First things first, though.

"How are you?" Meredith managed to ask Addison.

At this point, everyone was looking at Meredith, including Derek.

"Go check your things, Meredith. We'll talk later." Addison said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"Okay. See you later." Meredith replied and smiled at Addison with barely contained joy.

Oh God, what would the rumour mill make of this? Meredith was certain that someone would tell her before long. Until then, she had a surgery to scrub in for and she had a new cap to wear for it.

Addison was back and she had brought a present for Meredith.

Happiness infused Meredith and she almost skipped as she hurried to get to the Lounge before she had to be at surgery. Almost running now, Meredith slammed open the door and skidded to a halt.

"Cristina!" Meredith gasped her friend's name out, happy to see her.

"Addison got me something." She exclaimed as she rushed to rummage through her things.

"What?" Cristina asked as Meredith resisted the urge to just dump everything on the floor.

"This." Meredith said in triumph, holding up a brown paper package.

"What's next, whiskers on kittens?" Cristina said sardonically.

"Hey, it's not tied up with strings, it's taped." Meredith laughed and quickly opened the package and drew in a quick breath.

Inside was a scrub cap. A green scrub cap with little stars on it.

"It matches your eyes." Cristina read off the attached note.

Meredith read the note and then reread it again to make sure she understood what it said. It matched her eyes?

Wow. Meredith was stunned to say the least and both she and Cristina simply stood there taking it all in for long moments.

"She's into you." Her friend whispered conspiratorially, earning a shove from Meredith.

Well, now Meredith knew what she was wearing to work. She could feel her heart beat with excitement at the thought that Addison had spent time selecting this gift for her. Meredith could not wait to see the redhead later. She was counting down the minutes until then.

Now however, she had to hurry, she needed to scrub in and get down to business before the next stage of her plan could come to fruition.

* * *

"Have you seen Addison?" Meredith asked Bailey, namely because she was the first person who might have a clue that Meredith had seen after leaving surgery.

"She was looking for a cup of coffee earlier." Bailey said distractedly and Meredith gathered that she would not be able to get a more specific answer from Miranda.

Well, coffee was a start.

Meredith wanted to thank the redhead for the gift and she needed to ask her to go on a date, pronto. The day was waning and in a few hours Meredith might miss her chance to ask Addison face to face, which she wanted to do.

Never mind that she wanted to ask Addison how she was doing and she simply wanted to be with Addison.

Rounding a corner, Meredith saw the tail-end of the woman in question.

"Doctor Montgomery." She called out, hoping to catch Addison's attention without having to catch her.

The elegant form of the woman in question turned towards her and an eyebrow was raised. "May I speak to you for a moment?" Meredith inquired, her voice the epitome of politeness while her heart was trying to beat its way out of her chest.

A slight nod was Meredith's answer and a few minutes later Meredith found herself enclosed in one of the small offices that the hospital provided on a first come, first serve basis.

"How are you?" Meredith inquired as she closed the door behind her and leaned against it.

Addison looked at Meredith and the gaze was like a touch, reminding Meredith that despite whatever misunderstandings or disagreements they had been having, the chemistry between them was undeniable.

"I'm fine." Addison drawled as she took a step closer.

Meredith felt her pulse skyrocket in reaction.

"Thank's for the present, I wore it today." Meredith murmured as Addison came within touching distance.

Thinking was becoming hard to do.

"I'm still mad at you." Addison whispered as she came to a stop just a hair's breadth away from Meredith.

"Are you?" Meredith breathed, her senses filling up with Addison and making it hard to think of anything at all.

"Yes." Addison mouthed just before she brushed her lips against Meredith's.

The feel of Addison against her was instantly overwhelming. Meredith coiled her arm's around Addison and pulled her in tighter as she opened her mouth to the redhead and allowed her body to feel.

Instantly and utterly aroused, Meredith moaned and Addison responded, arching beautifully into her and crushing her against the door. It was heaven. The redhead tasted of coffee and of something that Meredith would never get enough of. Ever.

Addison seemed to choke off a moan of her own and Meredith suddenly became obsessed with the idea of getting Addison to moan without restraint. She had to know, and thus she renewed her efforts, flipping them around so that she was pressing Addison into the door and then Meredith deepened the kiss.

She could not get close enough and as they moved, Meredith speculated on whether her scrubs were going to catch fire as heat, lust, love and longing obliterated her mind.

The redhead's mouth was so soft, so delicious. It would only take a little tiny push and Meredith would never be able to stop. Addison for her own part seemed to be in no hurry for the kiss to end and for long minutes their mouths made love and it was heaven. Pure, unadulterated heaven.

When they finally broke apart, Meredith found herself gasping and leaning hard against Addison while she revelled in the sensation of having those strong arms wrapped around her. "I've missed you so much." Meredith said into the fabric that encased Addison's shoulder.

"I missed you too. Don't ever do anything like that again, Meredith. It's not fair." Addison whispered into her hair.

"I won't." Meredith replied, feeling a peace and a relief and an energy that had been missing since the misunderstanding flood her body again.

She had missed it.

"Will you go on a date with me this Sunday?" Meredith asked out of the blue.

"Sunday?" Addison's reply was instant.

"Yes." Meredith said and pulled back slightly to look into Addison's eyes.

Big mistake. Unable to help herself, Meredith leaned in and kissed Addison again, this time not closing her eyes, but revelling in seeing what she was feeling reflected on Addison's face.

A minute later they pulled apart and Addison's gaze had a wildness to it when she looked at Meredith.

"Yes, I will." Addison replied.

"What?" Meredith asked, dazed slightly by the kiss.

"Go on a date with you." Addison supplied, kissing the tip of Meredith's nose.

"Oh wow." Meredith said happily. "I'll come pick you up at the hotel at about four on Sunday, okay?" Meredith continued in a rush.

"Okay." Addison replied, releasing Meredith at last.

They really did need to get back to work.

Meredith could feel the hum of barely contained arousal in her body and wondered how she was going to survive until the next time she kissed Addison.

* * *

**Chapter 19**

Saturday!

Meredith woke up early. She only had a few hours to prepare for tomorrow. Clothes, manicure, pedicure, waxing; she had already seen her regular hairstylist a week ago. Plans. She needed to plan.

Where was Derek?

Despite his arrogance, he was not obtuse. What was he up to and where was he?

Deciding not to think about him until she had to, Meredith focused once more on the task at hand which was to get ready for tomorrow. It was too bad Cristina had to work today. Meredith would have wanted her help or even just her company but if Meredith went to the hospital she would be snagged into work regardless of her schedule. She'd just have to deal with this herself as much as was possible.

Wondering what Addison might be up to, Meredith laid out clothes and thought about Sunday and about Addison. It was going to be great. She needed to get to her appointments though and then she wanted a nice long bath. Meredith would need to do some paperwork later and some reading, but for the most part today was all for her.

Hearing the front door close, Meredith deduced that Derek had come home. Hopefully this would not be too unpleasant to deal with. She really did not want a mood breaker right now, but she supposed that she would deal with it if she had to.

"What are you doing?" Derek's voice asked from the doorway.

"Getting ready, I am going out with Addison tomorrow." Meredith said truthfully.

He was going to find out eventually anyway. "I see." He murmured and wandered off with a scowl on his face.

Somehow Meredith felt that this was not the last she was going to hear of this, or many other things either. It was just a matter of time, really.

Meredith was not looking forward to that conversation.

It was time to leave though, her appointment was in an hour and she had to get across town. She would worry about Derek some other day, or at least not now.

Rushing out to the car, Meredith scrambled into the driver's seat and quickly made her way through the streets of Seattle. As she drove, Meredith considered that it felt good, the idea of pampering herself. She should do it more often.

Even just for herself.

Right now however, she was going it for Addison.

Meredith wanted Addison. She hungered for the redhead and the feeling was getting out of control almost in her body and in her mind. It was not am ephemeral feeling either. It was growing, feeding upon itself and making Meredith lose herself completely.

She absolutely could not wait until tomorrow.

* * *

Sunday arrived without incident and as Meredith made some last minute calls to make sure nothing would go wrong, she started to experience a serious case of nerves. Would Addison enjoy today? Would Addison really forgive her for being stupid and laden with baggage?

Where was Cristina? She had promised to come and hang out with Meredith before her shift began at the hospital. Meredith had swapped with Cristina, agreeing to do her shift in the Pit in exchange for Meredith's Sunday of being available to whichever Attending needed something.

It was a more than fair trade in Meredith's mind anyway. Cristina could easily end up in Cardio after all. Meredith secretly hoped that her friend would end up with something that challenged and excited her. Giving Cristina surgeries was better than giving her diamonds.

Meredith smiled as she heard her front door open and close. That would be Cristina now. Hearing footsteps, Meredith turned to see Derek standing in the doorway. Frowning and feeling a stab of anxiety, she waited for him to speak, distantly aware that the front door was opening and closing again.

"So, I have an offer for you." Derek began.

Meredith hoped that he was not going to proposition her for sex, that would just be too awkward.

"Yes?" She asked, noting that Cristina had come to stand behind Derek and was staring a hole in the back of his head.

"I want to make it up to you, the surgery that I stole. I have to work on an aneurysm on an expectant woman, I want you to scrub in for me." Derek said, looking confident that Meredith would accept.

"Cristina is covering for me today, get her to scrub in for you." Meredith said, nodding to Cristina who was standing behind Derek.

"You're saying no?" Derek asked, incredulous.

"I'm saying no. I have plans for today and they are set in concrete. The world does not actually revolve around surgery and the hospital or for that matter, you, all the time." Meredith explained and finished dressing, eager to get away from Derek.

Maybe she and Cristina could go someplace and have coffee, or whatever.

"Okay." Derek said defensively, looking deeply perplexed and not a little angry and then he turned to Cristina.

"Well, come on then." He said to her friend and Meredith could tell that Cristina only barely avoided rolling her eyes at Derek.

Without a doubt he would end up grilling Cristina today about Meredith.

Meredith looked at her friend apologetically but knew that Cristina would enjoy the challenging surgery and it would at least give her an opportunity to work in the more refined, precise and demanding surgical fields that appealed to her.

With a shrug, Cristina turned to follow Derek but before she was out of sight she gave Meredith a big smile and a thumbs up sign. It warmed Meredith's heart; at least someone else was on her side this morning.

* * *

"No, Derek. I have plans today." Meredith frowned as she walked up to Addison in front of the hotel.

Why was Addison on the phone with Derek?

Then it dawned on Meredith. Derek was asking her to scrub in on the surgery that Meredith had turned down. Would he know that she and Addison were going out? Did it matter?

"Hi Meredith." Addison said brightly as she closed her phone and turned to Meredith.

"I think Derek knows about us." Meredith said by way of greeting.

"Of course he knows, but what he knows is another matter. Don't let it worry you too much Meredith. The ball is rolling, either we allow it to crush us, or we jump out of the way, or we get on top and go with it. I vote for number three, even though it will be tricky." Addison said with laughter in her voice and linked her arm with Meredith's.

"Come on now, let's go have some of this coffee you promised me. The date does not start for another hour, but since we're early we can at least have cappuccinos and get over our butterflies, alright?" Meredith laughed at Addison's words.

It was such a relief to be around someone who was as complex as she was, but who did not spent a bunch of time complicating things.

Cappuccino and butterflies before their date began. It sounded perfect.

"Okay, Doctor Montgomery. Let me show you the best little coffee shop in Seattle. It's a well kept secret that everyone knows." Meredith said as she guided Addison to her car.

Today was not going to be formal or dressy like their first date had been, though they would be having dinner eventually of course. Today Meredith had also seriously considered sacrificing her kidney in a jar to the weather gods, if only they would keep the rain at bay at least until late in the evening.

So far her willingness to be the _Abraham_ of the _Isaac_ kidney seemed to be working.

Addison climbed into the car and soon Meredith was speeding them towards the best little coffee shop in question.

She'd worry about Derek later. Right now and today was about her and Addison and with some luck, it would remain that way.

As she drove, Meredith hope that Cristina would have a good time with the surgery and that by Monday, Derek would be less combative about Meredith having a life outside of the hospital, surgeries and him.

She did concede that she needed to confront her demons and make some hard choices, but it was not only up to her. Would Derek be willing to listen?

That remained to be seen.

He had decided early on that it was Meredith or nothing, but his own track record in the department had been sketchy. Their personalities were not compatible on many levels, one of which was the shades of grey that Meredith operated in and the black and white that Derek functioned under.

Time to focus on the now, though. She had Addison in her car, there was going to be coffee and a date and dinner too.

With a huge smile, Meredith reached over and squeezed Addison's hand. She wanted to kiss the redhead, but that would wait until a little later.

Meredith could almost taste Addison's mouth and skin already, and the thrill of anticipation coursed through her body.

Today was going to be fantastic. She just knew it. The answering squeeze from Addison that she felt seemed to confirm this assessment.

* * *

"Cappuccino okay? It's the best drink they have." Meredith asked Addison once they had found a nice table and were comfortably situated.

She wanted to spoil Addison in any way she could today, or always really.

"Sure. I am at your disposal and mercy today, Meredith." Addison replied with a slight incline of her head.

There was something breathtakingly sexy in her eyes and Meredith found herself unable to think clearly until she turned away and went to place their order. Addison had the uncanny ability to make Meredith simply forget everything except the moment that they were in and sharing.

Returning to the table quickly, Meredith found Addison staring off into space.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked gently, wondering what was on the redheads mind.

It occurred to Meredith that she had been pretty much focused on her own issues in the past while when it came to Addison and what they were, or may become. It was time she started to pay more attention to Addison herself, especially if she wanted to regain the other woman's trust and have a future with her.

"I am just wondering." Addison began and then trailed off while she played with her napkin.

"Wondering what?" Meredith inquired after a moment.

"About you, and me, and us. About how Derek is going to react when he finds out." Addison continued, putting down her napkin and staring at a space somewhere to the side of Meredith's head.

"About us?" Meredith asked, feeling the butterflies in her stomach start a stampede.

Could butterflies stampede?

Meredith gave in to the urge to hold Addison's hand and reached across the table to do just that. "Talk to me." She urged.

"I am not looking for some casual fling, or a part time lover, Meredith. I want it all." Addison finally said, sighing a little before she looked at Meredith.

"What do you want? You're young, attractive and have not even decided your speciality yet." Addison queried.

"I want you." Meredith said without hesitation.

"I don't mean just physically. I want you in my life, and I want to be in your life. This is not some casual thing for me, I am not looking for a fling." Meredith continued after a moment.

"As for my speciality, I don't have to decide that yet, but you are not surgery, Addison. I am not going to flit about and hem and haw about what I may or may not want to do with you. You are my speciality, my romantic career culminates in you. I want you." Meredith knew she sounded a bit insistent.

"My friend, Naomi, she says I am crazy to do this." Addison said in a measured way after she had considered Meredith's words for a while.

"She says you are too wild and untamed and too young and too hung up on Derek." Addison seemed to put emphasis on the last word as she said it.

"Is she wrong?" Addison asked when Meredith did not speak.

"Yes, she is." Meredith was quick to say. "I doubt you would want me to be especially tame and while I know I am young, I am not a spring chicken. I was not born yesterday." Meredith added.

"I know. It's just that these things need to be said. Silence is a killer in a relationship. It breeds misunderstanding, assumption and when there is lack of information based on facts, it causes the imagination to fill the void with speculative fiction, which is never a good thing." Addison seemed to be warming up again as she spoke.

"Case in point, the other day and your reaction to Jason. Part of it was insecurities and stupidity, but part of it was lack of information. I could have told you on the phone that I had company, it would have been a natural thing to do. If you had known then maybe your reaction to a bare chested man in my hotel room would not have been so extreme." Addison smiled warmly now and Meredith was dazzled.

"You're right." Meredith said after their coffee was served. "I will work on my communication skills, but your friend, Naomi, is wrong. I won't be bad for you, I'llbe good for you, and to you." Meredith believed what she said and just hoped that she sounded convincing to Addison.

"And Derek?" Addison asked pointedly.

"I have hade my choice, Addison. I chose you, now I just need to tell the third person in this equation about it." Meredith was quick to reassure the redhead.

"I know I have to, soon, but it's not so black and white or simple." Meredith mused as she stirred her coffee and gazed into the depths of the foam peaks on it as if they could provide her with the answers to life's questions.

"No, not simple, but you have to do it. For yourself, for me. For us, but also and this is important, you have to do it for him. He may have a hard time letting you go, but you have to set him free and you have to do this very soon. It is time to prove you are not a spring chicken, Meredith." Addison was very calm and gentle as she spoke and Meredith knew that she was not making demands, she was just telling it like it is.

"I'll do it this week." Meredith said confidently and hoped that she would be able to follow through on her brave words.

Addison seemed to be satisfied by them though and a moment later they seemed to come to a silent agreement to drink their coffee. They would talk more later in the day no doubt, but right now the peace of the moment and the coffee seemed to infuse them both with a comfort and an ease that was delightful.

This was what Meredith wanted. Love and life without the insistent pressure of expectation and demands for communication or action that she was not ready to do, give or say.

She would make this work between Addison and herself. Failure was not an option.

* * *

"Ready to go?" Meredith asked some time after they had finished the coffee.

Addison seemed to be very relaxed now and Meredith was warm and happy about it. Seeing this side of the redhead was extraordinary and Meredith found that she wanted to see more of it and more of whatever it was that made Addison Montgomery tick.

"I am all yours." Addison replied with an easy smile, that sexy one that made Meredith's toes curl in her shoes.

"Well then, let's go." Meredith rose to her feet as she spoke and some moments later they were piling into the car once more and Meredith felt a flutter at the thought of what Addison might think of the date she had planned.

"You're not going to tell me where we are going are you?" Addison asked playfully.

"If you give me a kiss I might consider it." Meredith offered as she turned a corner and eagerly made her way to her destination.

Addison leaned over and kissed the side of Meredith's face right next to her ear. Her breath was warm and her lips were cool and Meredith felt a stab of arousal travel down her body and settle in her abdomen. They really did need to make love soon, preferably before Meredith suffered from spontaneous combustion.

Turning another corner, Addison figured out where they were going. "The marina?" She asked, leaning forward eagerly.

"Yep." Meredith replied and found a parking spot.

"What are we doing here?" Addison asked as she got out of the car.

"You'll see." Meredith replied, linking her arm with Addison's and then walked towards one of the more decent sized boats.

Stopping, Meredith pointed at the vessel and smiled at Addison. "Dinner, you and me, clear water and open skies." She extrapolated and hoped that Addison would approve.

Looking over at Addison, she saw a huge smile on the other woman's face. It seemed her choice was good. "Come on then." Meredith urged and without further ado they were on board.

"Good afternoon, Doctor Grey." The first mate said as the two women made their way aft.

Meredith smiled at the man warmly. They had never met, but that did not matter. The boat had a staff of five and it was obvious who she was to them.

"Good afternoon." Meredith replied shaking the man's hand.

"Doctor Montgomery." The man tipped his hat at Addison and a stunned Addison offered her hand to him as well.

After he had left to go about his business, Addison turned to Meredith and looked at her speculatively.

"Why did he know who we are?" She asked, sounding very curious.

"Well, we are his passengers." Meredith explained patiently.

"Yes, but still. Why did he know specifically who we are?" The redhead queried as they found a place to sit that offered them a splendid view.

One of the crew was walking towards them with refreshments in hand but before he arrived Meredith smiled at Addison and decided to spill the beans. "We're the only passengers, Addison."

A slight frown marred the space between Addison's eyes for a moment but it was soon replaced by a look of sheer delight on the beautiful face that Meredith had grown to love.

"You didn't!" Addison exclaimed.

"I did." Meredith laughed in reply and then offered Addison one of the drinks that she had been handed a moment before.

"Wow. You certainly know how to make an impression, Doctor Grey." Addison commented after she took a sip of her drink.

Meredith smiled. She was going to have to send Jason flowers, or a stripper-gram or something. He had earned it and the look on Addison's face right now made the planning and everything, this moment, make everything worth it.

Taking a sip of her drink to cover the urge to blush, or bluster or babble. Addison seemed to sense her need for reassurance and moved closer, slipping her arm around Meredith as they watched the water and the sky.

"What are you thinking about?" Meredith asked after a while.

They had an excellent vantage point from where they were sitting and it truly was beautiful. It was hard to imagine they were so close to such a major city.

"I am thinking about you, Meredith." Addison replied, lifting Meredith's hand to kiss it.

"What about me?" Meredith queried, curious.

"How do you think this happened?" Addison asked and when Meredith would have replied Addison continued to talk. "I am glad it did. It's a dichotomy of feeling you know. I was devastated when my marriage to Derek broke apart, but if it had not then you and I would not be sitting here right now." Addison extrapolated and took a deep breath; she seemed to want to keep going but did not.

"Do you think this was going on for a while and we did not notice it?" Meredith asked, leaning into Addison and getting more comfortable as the boat slowed to allow them to watch a raft of sea lions frolicking nearby.

Addison seemed mesmerised by the animals playing and did not answer for a few long moments. "It could be. I would not be surprised." She finally said, turning her attention back to Meredith.

"Me either." Meredith found that she had to agree with the assessment.

In any case, she was glad for whatever the reasons or origins of this. She did not have a name for it yet, but what Meredith had with Addison was becoming something that Meredith felt that she could not live without anymore.

"I'm glad." She finally said aloud to Addison.

Sparkling eyes turned towards her and Addison smiled fully. "Me too." She whispered, leaning in to Meredith and resuming her watch of the water.

This felt like one of those perfect moments everyone was always talking about.

"This is perfect, Meredith. Just you and me and no distractions." Addison said as she took in a deep breath of air.

"I'm glad." Meredith replied happily.

"I want that kiss now." She added. "You did not tell me where we were going." Addison bargained. "No, but I showed you." Meredith countered. "I already kissed you." Addison said in a gentle riposte. "You call that a kiss?" Meredith asked.

"Huh." Addison said after a pause and moved closer to Meredith. "I'll show you a kiss." She murmured almost against Meredith's lips. "I can't wait." Meredith whispered in reply.

A moment later she was being kissed by Addison Montgomery while the gentle breeze lifting from Puget Sound caressed her skin. It was divine and it was making her knees turn to water. Thankfully Addison seemed to have the strength to hold her up against the railing as their mouths and souls moved in unison.

Leaning against Addison she breathed heavily and felt Addison's arms hold her tightly. It felt so right, she felt so safe.

She wanted to hold Addison forever and right now she was fighting the urge to say, I love you, and yet she could not figure out why she was fighting the urge.

Now was just not the time, but when would be the time?

* * *

**Chapter 20**

"You hungry?" Meredith asked after an indeterminate amount of time had passed, maybe half an hour.

"Not yet, but soon." Addison replied.

They were at the stern of the boat watching the water churn from the engines and they were now used to the gentle sway of the waves as the sleek vessel cut through the water. As powerful as the engines were, the craft was modern enough that normal conversation tones were possible even so close to the engines themselves.

"What will you do?" Meredith asked after a comfortable while had passed.

"About what?" Addison queried, even though Meredith had a feeling that the other woman knew what Meredith was asking.

"Will you move back to Seattle?" Meredith clarified.

She did not want any further misunderstandings with Addison if she could help them so being coy, dropping hints and hoping a question was obvious enough so as not to need a more direct approach was out of the question. For now at least.

Maybe once they knew more about each other and had a better handle on body language and other cues they could be a little less blunt about stuff. Maybe.

"I only need a reason to, Meredith." Addison replied as she stared down at their joined hands intently.

"Am I reason enough?" Meredith hoped that the redhead would say yes.

"Yes, you are. Why do you think I am waiting so patiently? It's not exactly easy, but you are reason enough to be patient." Addison spoke into the wind, but Meredith heard her clearly.

It was true, Addison had been showing an almost saintly degree of patience over the past few weeks. Meredith only hoped that if a similar degree of patience was ever required on her behalf for Addison, that she would be able to reciprocate in kind.

"Thank you." Meredith said simply and leaned in to place a kiss on the side of Addison's face.

The temptation to kiss the other woman was overwhelming. Meredith wanted to lose herself in Addison and only come up for air in a few days or weeks. To begin with. Hopefully the opportunity would come soon when she could do this. Hopefully everything would work out. Meredith was not prone to blind optimism, life was just too many shades of grey to simply allow that to be a realistic outlook, but she wanted to be optimistic about this.

She had to be.

"What's for dinner?" Addison finally asked after another while of watching the world go by had passed.

Meredith, who had been completely distracted from watching the wind play in Addison's hair and with relishing the sight of the other woman's face so relaxed and at peace blinked at the question.

Food.

She had no idea what was for dinner, though part of her reasoned that she should know as she had ordered it after all.

"Let's go see." Meredith suggested.

Addison smiled at Meredith. "Sure." She acquiesced.

Wandering towards the cabin, Meredith glanced at a member of the crew who was busy working on the deck. This was a very peaceful cruise, it was obvious that everyone was a professional and that they all got along. Meredith was glad for that, hopefully dinner would be just as successful and without any fuss.

Meredith wanted to focus on Addison and her alone.

"You want to meet the Captain?" Meredith asked as they moved into the cabin.

Inside it was spacious, despite the relatively small size of the boat. It was obvious that this was a luxury cruise. Addison seemed to appreciate the teak and brass accents and she walked over to a porthole to look outside.

"You think we could eat outside?" She asked, not really answering Meredith's question.

"Of course." A foreign voice said and both Meredith and Addison looked up at the newcomer.

"Ah, Captain." Meredith said pleasantly, looking at the striking woman who had joined them.

This was another reason that Meredith had chosen this particular company. She and Addison would both appreciate the fact that the captain of this particular boat was female. In a testosterone fuelled world, this sort of happenstance was always welcome.

"Doctor Grey, Doctor Montgomery." The stately woman said nodding to each of them respectively.

They all shook hands before the captain spoke again. "We have calm water and no wind, you may eat wherever you like. Dinner will be ready in about half an hour. Would you like to speak to our cook for any reason?" The captain asked pleasantly as she explained the situation.

"I think I'd like to be surprised." Addison said, obviously pleased at the whole arrangement and Meredith decided that whatever Addison wanted this evening was what she wanted as well.

"Very well. Please make yourselves at home anywhere, someone will find you when it is time to eat." The captain continued and then smiled at them both.

"Thank you." Meredith said and then the captain returned to her duties.

"Want to take a look down here or go back to the deck?" Meredith asked after watching Addison explore the cabin for a few more minutes.

Addison looked up at Meredith and something sparkled in her eyes. "I'd like to explore you a little more, Meredith Grey, but I suppose the deck will be a suitable alternative for now." The way Addison spoke caused another shimmer of arousal to flood Meredith's body.

"Two can play this game, Doctor Montgomery." Meredith eventually said, moving closer to Addison and running her hands up the exposed arms of the redhead.

Addison snatched her hands into her own and pulled Meredith closer. "No one is playing any games, Meredith." She whispered before she leaned in to kiss Meredith again.

It was intoxicating, this hunger yet restraint. In Addison's kiss it was obvious that what the other woman wanted was to lift Meredith onto a table or to push her against a wall and give in. To desire, to this moment and to the sizzle of passion and chemistry that burned between them.

But, also in her kiss was the restraint of wanting to wait, of wanting to do things right. In the hunger and the flame of their passion, was gentleness that simply took Meredith's breath away.

They parted breathing heavily and Meredith felt unfocused. Oh but Addison could kiss. It was going to be something that they had to do a lot of, Meredith decided.

"Come." Addison instructed and pulled Meredith gently towards the stairs that led to the deck.

Meredith reasoned that she would follow Addison anyplace at this point. With those kiss bruised lips and the wildness in the redhead's eyes, Meredith felt like a moth being drawn to a flame but this flame would not be her doom--it would be her salvation.

* * *

The crew did indeed manage to create a space for them to have dinner outdoors and the boat's speed was reduced to a steady crawl to make the meal as smooth as possible and also to reduce noise. The sun was setting as Meredith and Addison sat down to eat and as they were out on the water and Seattle was famous for its seafood, Meredith had chosen a feast of seafood for them to eat.

Addison for her part seemed to be delighted with the first course, even managing to make Meredith laugh herself to tears by remarking that muscles looked just little vulvas just as Meredith was going to eat one. Addison looked far too pleased with herself at Meredith's reaction and for that, Meredith resolved to see Addison laugh fully before the night was through.

After the remnants of the muscles had been cleared away and they were relaxing with a glass of wine while the main course was being brought up, Meredith could not help but stare at Addison.

In the evening light, she was breathtaking. "What?" Addison asked, her face alive with warmth.

"You're beautiful." Meredith said shyly, blurting the words out before she could stop herself.

The redhead had that effect on Meredith; she found herself doing things before she could stop herself because of Addison.

"Thank you." Addison finally replied and put her wineglass own as she leaned closer to Meredith from across the table.

Meredith was glad for the evening light as she was certain her face would be on fire otherwise. The focused attention of this woman sitting across from her could be overwhelming sometimes and Meredith found that she enjoyed it, craved it and wanted it; all of it.

More food arrived as the two of them were busy watching the water and looking at each other. "This looks delicious." Addison commented as the plates were set down.

Smiling with pleasure Meredith reached over and took Addison's hand. "I am glad you are here with me." She remarked and was rewarded with a look of pleasure from the other woman.

"Me too." Addison said softly and Meredith almost glowed with happiness.

* * *

The boat was making its way back to harbour and the two of them were standing at the bow once more, watching the world and the water go by. It was full evening now and there was only the vestige of light in the sky which meant that it was chilly. Meredith stood in the protective embrace of Addison and despite the best efforts of the impeding night she felt warm.

She felt warm and happy and content. Good food, excellent company, wine and a miniature adventure that had turned out so well meant that she was experiencing a lightness of being that was not ordinary for her. It felt great.

As the boat slowly docked, Meredith felt almost sad that the journey was over, but they would take another one, some other time, soon. Meredith would make sure of that. "Ready to go?" Addison asked after a while.

Neither of them had made any more to leave the bow and the crew seemed to be content to leave them as they tied off the boat and put it to bed, as it were. "No, but we should go. These good people want to go to bed." Meredith replied and reluctantly disentangled herself from Addison.

They walked towards the gangplank and Addison showing her charm and grace managed to thank each one using their names. Meredith was impressed and after she followed suit, without all the names the two of them soon found themselves walking arm in arm back to Meredith's car as night finally settled over Seattle.

"This has been fantastic, Meredith. Like nothing I have ever experienced before." Addison remarked as they arrived at the car.

"Yes. This has been new for me as well. Thank you for sharing it with me, tonight was fantastic." Meredith said in reply.

"Was?" Addison asked, leaning in to kiss Meredith lightly in the lips. "It's not over yet, Doctor Grey." She added, brushing a finger along Meredith's side and then moving towards the passenger seat of the car.

Oh boy.

Meredith swallowed hard and quickly moved to get into the driver's seat. "You want to go back to the hotel?" Meredith asked, feeling her pulse pound in her veins as she did.

"Yes." Addison replied in a tone that made Meredith's socks twirl on her feet.

"Right." Meredith just needed to make sure that they made it there in one piece despite her raging hormones and the intoxicating distraction of Addison sitting next to her and looking so damn delicious.

"Right." She murmured under her breath and mentally mapped out the shortest route back to the hotel.

Beside her Addison shifted and Meredith fought the urge to reach over and touch the other woman. She needed to focus on driving, or she would drive them off the road and that just would not do. She needed Addison at the hotel, post haste. Any other option simply would not do at all.

* * *

Traffic was light as it was late on a Sunday night so it took Meredith a relatively short amount of time to reach Addison's hotel. The two of them made their way through the lobby and after a quick and quiet elevator ride found themselves at Addison's hotel room door. Meredith was not ready for the evening to end and it seemed that Addison was in agreement as after she had opened the door, she stood aside and looked at Meredith expectantly.

Meredith hurried into the room and heard the muted snick of the latches and locks of the door being closed as she moved further into the room. She could hear Addison moving around behind her and while Meredith waited for Addison's next move she went to look out the large window that graced the room.

The lighted, electric skyline of Seattle was visible, like a colourful blinking collage light and movement and for long moments Meredith was captivated. That is until she felt Addison's arms encircle her from behind and those soft, hot, coveted lips kissed the side of Meredith's neck.

It was as if someone had poured gasoline on an open flame; in the blink of an eye Meredith felt every nerve and cell and fibre of her being come alive. Leaning into Addison and moved her hair aside to allow Addison unrestricted access to her neck. There was no hesitation and a moment later the redhead was kissing along her jaw-line and just below Meredith's ear.

It was becoming difficult to breathe and this simply from Addison barely touching her. Meredith gasped for air and felt her body contract as strong, able hands felt along her body and moved to embrace her and to caress her. The unbearable pleasure that Meredith felt was making it impossible to think, she only wanted to feel and nothing else.

She only wanted Addison.

Turning in the circle of Addison's arms, Meredith freed one of her arms and buried her hand in Addison's rich, luxurious hair, pulling the other woman closer, closer still, until they were breathing the same air. Addison's eyes were dark, only the slightest corona of colour was visible and she was breathing heavily. It was an image that seared itself into Meredith's mind and in doing so it branded her soul.

Beautiful.

Addison seemed to break free of her spell of immobility and leaned in to kiss Meredith gently at first, but then fully. Meredith reacted at once, feeling the cool window behind her back as Addison pressed her into the glass and the contrast between that and the delicious heat of Addison's body at her front was making her delirious with pleasure.

When had she ever reacted this way before? Had she ever? Meredith did not think so.

Dangerously aroused now, Meredith opened her mouth and invited Addison deeper. The redhead did not hesitate and in the blink of an eye things escalated, became hotter and Meredith was fast approaching the point of no return.

"I want you." Addison breathed into Meredith's ear when they finally separated.

The feel of her words against Meredith's ear was the stuff of madness and as Meredith felt her own sanity flee she started to desperately attempt to regain her self control. Addison seemed to be determined to allow things to proceed to their inevitable conclusion tonight, but Meredith knew that the redhead wanted to wait.

Addison wanted to wait until Meredith had made a definite break with Derek and right now whatever self control Addison had seemed to have scattered itself into the four winds and it was up to Meredith to honour Addison's wishes, no matter how much she wanted to simply give in and allow things to happen.

She did not want to be Addison's regret. They would do this right. Somehow.

"Addison." Meredith gasped as she felt those wicked, wonderful hands begin to worm their way under her clothing.

"Addison, stop." Meredith tried again, desperately fighting with herself.

Oh how she wanted this. She could feel herself wet, ready and swollen. Her breasts ached to be touched; she wanted Addison's mouth on her skin more than she had ever wanted anything else in her life up until this moment.

"Addison." Meredith managed to pry Addison loose finally and brought the other woman's head up so that the could look into Addison's eyes.

"We need to stop." Meredith said, trying to regain control of her breathing.

There was a blink of confusion as Addison tried to process what Meredith was saying and then slowly, so slowly, comprehension and sanity began to dawn once more in Addison's gaze.

Meredith smiled at Addison, leaning in to kiss the end of her nose. "I'll stay the night, okay?" Meredith whispered softly.

Addison nodded and stepped away from Meredith, clenching her fists a few times and regaining control over her breathing.

"Thank you." Addison finally said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking up at Meredith.

Meredith smiled. For Addison she would do anything, it was really a very easy decision to make. ****


	2. Part 02

**DISCLAIMER:** They are not mine, I'm just rubbing them together to see what happens. The story however, is mine. (as are any original characters or concepts in it)  
 **SPOILERS:** Yes (most seasons one way or another)

  
**By The Raven**

**Chapter 21**

Meredith did not know how much time had passed since she had fallen asleep resting against Addison's side, but she woke up feeling like she was being watched. Her body told her that it was still quite early though, perhaps an hour or more before she actually needed to be up.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and as she blinked them into focus she noted that Addison was resting on her side and looking at Meredith with a very intent, but soft expression on her face.

"Good morning." Addison whispered, running a finger along the top of Meredith's exposed hand.

"Hi." Meredith managed to say, feeling warm and distracted and like she needed a drink of water.

"You snore." Addison commented and Meredith could feel herself blush a deep shade of scarlet.

"Sorry." She mumbled, mortified.

"That's not what woke me, Meredith. I just wanted to see you before we have to go to work." Addison reassured her and leaned in to brush her lips against Meredith's forehead.

"You're adorable when you sleep." Addison continued before she rolled over in the bed and stood up in one smooth movement.

"Sit up." Addison said from someplace out of Meredith's line of sight.

Obediently, Meredith did just that and a moment later she felt Addison return to the bed and looked over at her, still feeling sleepy and blurry from having slept so deeply.

"Breakfast in bed?" Meredith cringed inwardly at how excited she sounded to her own ears.

Addison just smiled, her face radiant in the early morning light and Meredith fell in love again. This was what she wanted, there was no question about it. Now she would just need to make it happen. Enough dawdling. No more hesitation. This was what her future was made of: Addison.

Accepting the hot cup of coffee that Addison offered her, Meredith smiled and watched with fascination as a slight blush tinged the edges of the redhead's cheekbones. It was adorable.

"Thank you." Meredith said succinctly, knowing that the other woman would know that she meant for more than just this morning coffee.

A brilliant smile was her reward and Meredith felt warmed to the very core of her being.

This was what she wanted.

This.

* * *

Meredith was just stepping out of the shower a little later when she heard Addison talking with someone in the adjoining suite. Curious, Meredith wrapped herself in a complimentary robe and peeked out.

"Jason!" Meredith exclaimed happily and stepped into the room, moving to give the handsome man a kiss on his cheek.

Jason smiled conspiratorially at her. "So, how'd it go?" He whispered into her ear, making Meredith giggle.

Stepping back Meredith just smiled brilliantly at him and then moved to stand closer to Addison who was looking back and forth between Meredith and Jason with a perplexed look on her face.

"Since when are you two bff's?" She asked, sounding amused but confused.

"Never you mind, Addison. We had some girl-talk the other day; the sort of stuff that serious surgeons like yourself need not know about." Jason teased and then he laughed outright at Addison's outraged expression.

"I've got to go, Red. See you back in LA." Jason finally managed to say and he enfolded Addison in a quick but tight hug and then did the same to Meredith.

"Bye Blondie." He teased and a few moments later he was gone with the echo of his laughter still making Meredith smile from ear to ear.

"Huh. Blondie." Addison turned to look at Meredith as she said the words and now it was Meredith's turn to laugh.

"Everyone needs a gay best friend, Addison. It seems that Jason has adopted me." Meredith leaned in and kissed Addison to punctuate her statement and with that simple act managed to distract them both to the point where they almost forgot what they were supposed to be doing.

"We have to go to work." Addison finally managed to say and as she stood holding Meredith, it became apparent that Meredith was wearing only a hotel bathrobe.

"Hm, you need to get dressed." Addison finally managed to say and something in her tone made Meredith's breath catch.

"Addison." Meredith moaned from low in her throat.

"I know." Addison replied and stepped back from Meredith, looking shaken.

"Uhm. I went to your car and got the bag you mentioned." Addison finally managed, handing Meredith a small overnight bag.

"Thank you. I packed that after the last sleep-over we had." Meredith offered with a shaky smile.

God, she wanted Addison.

Addison just nodded and headed for the bathroom while Meredith tried to gather her wits to get dressed. They only had about forty-five minutes to be at the hospital.

As it happened, they did manage to get to work in plenty of time with Addison driving in with Meredith. While Meredith drive she reaffirmed in her mind that she wanted to be with Addison and that she wanted Addison. There was no other choice. None. Now it was just a matter of figuring out how to instigate her choice.

She had to work with Derek and they had such a long history and so much baggage between them that it was going to be ugly. It would be worth it though.

Addison was worth anything; everything.

Meredith felt that if she hesitated or procrastinated for too much longer she risked losing Addison, or at least hurting the other woman and she did not want to risk either thing happening. She had hurt Addison enough already and the redhead had been more than patient. It was time for Meredith to get off her ass and do something.

She was no shrinking violet, after all.

Parking the car, Meredith looked over at Addison and smiled openly at her. "Ready?" She asked.

"Almost." Addison replied, leaning over and kissing Meredith briefly but thoroughly.

"Now I am ready." Addison said huskily, her eyes betraying her thoughts and Meredith swallowed.

"Okay." She managed and they got out of the car and made their way to the hospital entrance together.

Meredith felt a lightness in her steps as they walked and the feeling continued until they actually entered the hospital and she saw Derek. When she noticed him standing on the walkway looking down at Addison and her, Meredith felt her step falter ever so slightly, but she recovered almost at once.

His presence made Meredith nervous, though. Hopefully he would not instigate another confrontation in the hospital, or if he did, it would be with her and not Addison.

She really needed to get the situation with him resolved, and soon. It was starting to intrude and Meredith did not want that. She wanted a clean start with Addison; she wanted forever with Addison.

"Coming?" Addison queried when Meredith slowed down due to her thoughts.

"Yes." Meredith smiled and hurried to catch up with the woman that she loved.

It was not going to be so simple, though. Derek had made his way down from the walkway and was making his way towards them. There was no way that she was going to be able to avoid him, not this morning anyway.

He walked up to her and really without any instigation on her part, embraced her, pulling her almost forcefully against him and leaned in to kiss her on the mouth in an obvious gesture of possession. His face was angry and Meredith turned away so that his scratchy cheek scraped along her face while his kiss landed on her cheek.

Derek's sharp intake of breath told Meredith that he was furious and now he all but grabbed her by the arm.

"There is a pregnant woman who came in this morning I want you to take a look at, Addison." Derek casually told Addison as he started to try to walk Meredith away.

He smiled as he said this and Meredith felt the gesture grate on her nerves. How had she ever seen what she had seen in him?

"I'm not an ER doctor, Derek." Addison replied, sounding frustrated.

"I know, but you really need to take a look at her, please. I don't want one of my residents to break her." Derek added, sounding calm and measured, despite the almost painful grip he had on Meredith's arm.

"Fine." Addison replied and seemed to withdraw into herself a little.

Derek nodded and guided Meredith away, obviously wanting to further stake his claim on her. It made Meredith wish that Cristina would suddenly turn up out of thin air and say something like: _Let her go, McMoron!_

Meredith looked back at Addison at this thought, frantic to regain some of the peace and feeling that she had in the morning, but when she looked back, her heart lurched.

Addison looked hurt and bewildered. It was a visage that Meredith had never wanted to see on Addison's face again and it made her furious at Derek and at his antics for having caused it. He had never been a caveman before, but now he seemed to be getting in touch with his inner Cro-Magnon and Meredith was not amused.

Pulling her arm free from Derek's grip, Meredith turned and left him standing by the elevators as she sought to catch up with Addison and ignoring Derek's protest.

"We need to talk. I will be home tonight." Meredith called back to Derek just before turning the corner.

She knew what she wanted and who she wanted and had made her decision. Now only remained the chore of making sure Derek knew it as well. She did not think it would be easy and part of her sincerely wished that she had already gathered the nerve to do it weeks ago.

Still, better late than never, though.

* * *

By the time Meredith caught up with Addison, she was getting ready to enter the examination room and Meredith deciding that the only way she could be with Addison was to go with her into the room, she did. Uninvited though she was she was sure that she would not be unwelcome.

Meredith wanted Addison to know what she had made her choice and was willing to stand by it if needed. Right now it was needed.

"I'm Doctor Montgomery." Meredith watched as the redhead introduced herself and she wondered exactly what was going on with this patient to require Addison's specialist attentions.

"I felt fine until this morning." The patient started to say. "I slipped and fell in the shower two days ago. I can't feel the baby kick any more so I was worried." Meredith cringed at the words.

Addison glanced at the patient's file and it was only because Meredith had spent so much time with Addison recently that she was able to tell that whatever the chart said, it had upset Addison, deeply.

"Doctor Grey, please prepare the patient for an ultrasound. I will return shortly." Addison said, handing Meredith the chart and excusing herself.

Torn between going after Addison and doing what she was told, Meredith finally decided to look down at the chart. Blinking, she reread what it said. This was potentially an extremely tragic situation that was unfolding. The woman had received a heavy trauma to her abdomen and there were concerns for the baby.

"Okay Mrs. Falco, let's get you ready." Meredith said and in short order had the patient ready for her scan.

Where was Addison?

"I'll go tell Doctor Montgomery that you are ready." Meredith explained and quickly went in search of the errant redheaded doctor in question.

Meredith did not have to go far to find her, she was standing just outside the door. Meredith did not really know how Addison was feeling right now but it was obvious that this was affecting her deeply. She was barely holding it together, actually.

"Are you okay?" Such an inane question, but Meredith was not sure what else to ask.

"No." Addison replied succinctly.

With those words she walked back into the room with Meredith at her heels.

"Okay, are we ready to begin?" Addison asked her patient and the woman nodded.

There was anxiety in the woman's gaze and Addison's posture was tense. Meredith was standing slightly behind Addison and before she could think better of it she reached over and placed her hand on Addison's back. There was a tensing of muscles and then Addison's posture relaxed minutely. Good.

Meredith left her hand on Addison's back while the redhead performed the exam and when Meredith looked at the monitor even her own unspecialised eyes could see that the child was dead.

How unbelievably tragic.

"Mrs. Falco. I am so terribly sorry, but I can't find the foetal heartbeat." Addison said and when the patient paled, Addison continued. "There was nothing you could have done. Accidents like this happen."

"Are you sure?" The note of hope in the woman's voice tore at Meredith and she could see Addison flinch.

"Yes, I am sure." Addison said with a finality that broke Meredith's heart.

There was a long pause where no one said anything and it was perfectly still. It was more unnerving that hysterical wailing. Then Mrs. Falco began to cry, her whole body shaking as she vented her sorrow, disbelief and agony. The emotional overload was almost more than Meredith could take.

Where was the father of the child?

Meredith wondered abstractly as they waited for the woman to calm down a little so they could ask her some questions. They would need to induce labour, it was not going to be pleasant and Mrs. Falco should not go through it alone.

Walking around Addison and stopping near the bed, Meredith took Mrs. Falco's hand in her own. "Is there someone we can call?" Meredith asked softly, feeling her heart break a little when she spoke the words.

"There is no one to call." The broken woman on the examination table said and then, seeming to anticipate their next series of questions she added. "My husband was killed in Iraq. There months ago." Her voice the very epitome of sorrow.

Meredith swallowed hard and she could feel Addison tense up beside her again.

God, what a mess.

"Excuse me. I need to go schedule the surgery." Addison said and glanced at Meredith for a long moment and then was gone.

Meredith looked at the door and fought the urge to chase after Addison. She needed to stay here and explain things to the patient.

"It will be okay. Doctor Montgomery is the best doctor in this field." Meredith said gently to her sobbing patient. "We have to perform a caesarian section as soon as possible to protect your health." Meredith added softly.

It would not be okay though, not now and not ever. Meredith could not imagine being in Mrs. Falco's position.

* * *

"Doctor Grey!" Derek's voice rang out and Meredith skidded to a halt, feeling her ire rise up as she turned to the man she no longer loved.

"Where are you going?" Derek asked, his voice waspish and sharp.

"To scrub in for Doctor Montgomery's c-section." Meredith replied, wondering why he was asking.

"No, you're not. You were supposed to be on Doctor Altman's service today, you're scrubbing in with her, right now." Derek said pointedly and looked around.

"Doctor Yang." He called out, spying Cristina walking by.

Meredith would have laughed at the way Cristina did a double take before she walked over to where they were.

"Yes?" She asked when she arrived, her tone just a few shades on the right side of insolence.

"You will be scrubbing in on Doctor Montgomery's c-section. It's a stillbirth." Derek said to Cristina and out of the corner of her eye Meredith could see Cristina's expression waver from disinterest to disgust to disquiet.

"Just what I've always wanted to do." Cristina said pointedly, looking at Meredith expectantly.

"No swapping. If I find out that you two are not doing your expected surgeries there will be disciplinary action that will have made the swap so not worth it." Derek said, obviously catching onto the fact that they had been planning to do just that.

With a self satisfied looking expression on his face Derek left them standing there to contemplate their fate.

"Nice, Meredith. What did you do to piss McAss off and why did I have to become involved?" Cristina did not sound especially upset, she actually sounded more concerned.

Just wait until she found out where Meredith would be spending her time.

"He knows." Meredith said, waving her hand expressively.

Cristina's eyebrows rose in understanding. That was one of the many benefits of Cristina Yang. She was very quick on the uptake, to say the least. She may have lacked what one would call normal social graces, but she was not oblivious to the world. She just did not have the time to play nice with it.

"I'll find you later. If you can, tell Addison I tried to come to her and I will find her later. Keep an eye on her for me, okay?" Meredith knew her friend would do this anyway, but right now Meredith knew that Addison was in extreme distress and short of starting a mutiny which would have unforeseen consequences that Meredith did not want to risk right now, this was now it needed to be.

"Gotcha." Cristina said distractedly. "Where will you be?" She asked Meredith as an afterthought.

"Cardio." Meredith sighed and at the outraged expression on Cristina's face Meredith held up her hands. "I'd swap with you in a heartbeat. Tell you what, next surgery that I know you would love that comes my way is yours. Cross my heart." Meredith was quick to impress upon her friend.

At that Cristina seemed mollified and they parted ways, each in a hurry to reach their respective destinations and doctors.

If only they were going in opposite directions.

Meredith redoubled her resolve to find Addison after surgery just as soon as she could. The redhead needed someone who cared without conditions right now and while Cristina's heart was in the right place, it was Meredith's heart that Addison needed.

Shaking her head at the thought of using the heart metaphor right now as she was getting ready to assist Teddy Altman in what would probably be a seven or eight hour open heart surgery that she wanted no part of, Meredith quickly made her way to scrub in. Pissing Derek off any further at this point was just not a good idea.

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Meredith was exhausted. The surgery had lasted for seven hours and post-op procedures, debriefing and showering and changing her clothes had added another hour and a half to that tally.

She needed to talk with Cristina and see how Addison was and she needed to find Addison. It was highly unlikely that the later of the women was still in the hospital, but there was a good chance that Cristina was still here. Cristina would live in the hospital if given half a chance.

Deciding to give herself half an hour to find Cristina and talk with her before she went to look for Addison, Meredith grabbed her things and started to stalk the hospital corridors for her best friend, all the while aiming her movements to focus on the front door of the hospital. It would not do at this time to get sucked into something else in the hospital, or to stumble across Derek, for that matter. Meredith was unsure at this time if she could remain civil if she saw Derek at this time.

She was unspeakably mad with him for reasons that she felt were quite valid.

Paging Cristina she got a reply that her friend was in on of the labs. Quickly Meredith changed course and was almost running now in her haste to see Cristina and find out how things had gone.

"Cristina." Meredith gasped as she rushed into the lab.

Her friend looked up from whatever she was doing and almost rolled her eyes, but not quite. "Well if it isn't the right hand woman of Doctor Altman." Cristina intoned as Meredith came to a half in front of the bench that Cristina was working at.

"Hey, careful." Cristina added, admonishingly as she shielded whatever experiment she was working on. "This will be the finest rotgut a fully stocked medical lab has ever distilled." Cristina added, a smile clearly colouring her voice.

"You're making hooch?" Meredith asked, despite herself, feeling the irrational urge to laugh at the idea.

Derek was going to have an kitten if he ever found out.

"Yes. I've decided that whenever McAss does something to piss me off, I am going to further refine the process and my aim is full production." Cristina explained, sounding every bit the scientist.

At Meredith's snort of laughter Cristina looked up and smiled wickedly. "He's lucky I just say no to drugs. This place could so easily be a meth-lab." Cristina added and at that Meredith did burst out laughing, despite the fact that she was desperate to find Addison and be with Addison and her self allotted time of half an hour was coming to a close.

She was in a hurry.

"How did it go?" Meredith finally asked.

"She was quiet, serious. Did not say a word except ask for instruments. When we were scrubbing out she asked where you were and I told her that Shepherd had frog marched you to an _all you can cut_ surgery that you could not get out of." Cristina said in a rush.

"She left the hospital as soon as the paperwork and post-op was done." Cristina added and while Meredith absorbed this information she watched her friend make some minute adjustment to the complex apparatus in front of her.

"Thank you." Meredith finally managed to say and Cristina looked up into her eyes.

Meredith nodded and smiled at her person before she turned and made a beeline for the door. She would bet serious money that Addison was locked in her hotel room and considering emptying the mini bar by herself and Meredith was determined to get to her as quickly as possible and she would do whatever it took to pull Addison back from the darkness that threatened to consume them all if given half a chance.

It's what you did for the people you loved.

* * *

Addison's phone was off and she was not answering her pages. Meredith made her way without hesitation to the hotel, though what she would do there remained to be seen. Pulling the car into what had become her parking spot it seemed, Meredith gazed out of the windscreen for a few long moments.

It was time to go to the woman she loved.

Exiting the car, Meredith made her way to the hotel and determinedly made her way to the bank of elevators. She still did not know what she was going to do once she got to Addison's room, but she assumed that she would decide once she got there. The elevator seemed to be taking forever and by the time Meredith actually got to Addison's floor some of her confidence had evaporated.

What if Addison did not want to see her? What would she do if Addison did want to see her? If only there was some easier way than trial and error to figure this stuff out.

_Do Not Disturb_

The sign on the doorknob blared at Meredith as she stood poised to knock on Addison's door. Hesitating, Meredith wondered if Addison truly wanted to not be disturbed. If she did, would Meredith be intruding? Should she leave?

Confusing.

Meredith leaned against the wall next to the door and studied the carpet as if she could find her answers there. She wished she knew Addison better, then maybe she would know what to do right now. She wished she had someone she could call and ask.

"Hi there." Meredith turned at the voice.

Immediately Meredith recognised the janitor from the last time she had been outside of Addison's door wondering what she should do next. "Hi." Meredith offered with a slight smile.

He really was a nice man.

"It seems we keep meeting this way." The man offered after a moment. "What's the matter?" He asked gently.

"She had a bad day. I don't know if she wants to be alone or not." Meredith blurted, pointing at the sign hanging off the door.

"Well, you're not going to find out by standing out here." The man replied, the corners of his eyes crinkling with wizened humour.

He did have a point.

Meredith turned to look at the door for a long moment before she turned back to man only to discover him walking away again. "Thank you." Meredith said just before he turned the corner.

She received an answering wave before turning back to the door and making her decision. She raised her hand and knocked firmly, but not loudly. "Addison, it's Meredith." She called through the door, knowing that the redhead would be able to hear her.

Hearing movement from within the hotel room, Meredith stepped back and waited. A moment later the door opened and a very haggard looking Addison stood before her. Meredith did not wait to be invited in and quietly stepped past the other woman into th room. Addison could always throw her out later if needed.

"What are you doing here?" Addison asked after she had pushed the door shut behind them.

It seemed that Meredith was not going to be thrown out at once.

"I wanted to see you." Meredith said simply.

"I am not exactly good company right now Meredith, you can read right?" Addison pointed at the doorknob, clearly indicating the _Do Not Disturb_ sign hanging on the other side.

"I can read." Meredith said softly, taking a step towards Addison.

The redhead looked like she wanted to cry but had been unable to. There was a war going on inside of her and it was spilling out for all, or in this case, Meredith, to see.

"You don't want to know me right now." Addison said firmly, but she did not back away from Meredith's advance.

"I always want to know you." Meredith countered gently and took another step closer.

She did not want to spook Addison by assuming too much, but she would not leave until she knew that Addison truly did want to be alone. Sometimes it was hard to tell which situation was applicable. Leave me alone, please don't leave. Or, leave me alone, please leave.

Meredith would need to find out which was the case this time.

"You don't know me." Addison whispered, sounding broken.

"I want to." Meredith was now standing within touching distance of Addison.

"Please don't leave." Addison pleaded, a single tear escaping and spilling down her cheek as she spoke.

"Never." Meredith promised, taking the final step and embracing Addison, pulling on her gently.

It took a moment, but Addison finally gave in and wrapped her arms around Meredith and crushed their bodies together as she buried her face in the crook of Meredith's neck and sobbed from deep within her body.

Not bothering with platitudes, Meredith soothed her hands across Addison's back and pulled her in tighter. They were going to fall over soon, so Meredith located the bed and guided the now very pliant Addison to it, gently easing them down and collecting Addison against her side.

Addison for her part did not do anything or say anything, she just held on to Meredith and wept. For the loss of a baby, and for the baby's mother, and without a doubt, for herself as well. It was heartbreaking but Meredith could take it. If she had her way, and she fully intended to, she would never leave Addison's side again.

* * *

It took a while, but finally Addison stopped sobbing and calmed down enough that Meredith was able to think past the moment they were in. She had never really been privy to this sort of moment before with someone like Addison. It was new for her and as Addison shifted in her arms, Meredith felt privileged, almost.

As Addison relaxed, Meredith was able to pull her face up so that she could see Addison's eyes. "Hi." Meredith offered as she gently caressed the other woman's face.

Addison smiled a little, taking a big shaky breath as she seemed to begin to collect herself a little. Meredith taking a cue from no place, leaned in and brushed a kiss along Addison's jaw line and ran her fingers through the tousled red hair that she had grown to love so much.

Sensing no resistance, Meredith eased Addison onto her back and rearranged them so that they were more comfortable. "Want to talk about it?" Meredith asked lightly.

It was perfectly okay with her if Addison did not want to talk about it, but Meredith wanted to make sure that the redhead knew that she was open for the conversation if she needed it. Addison did not reply, she simply snuggled in tighter to Meredith and seemed to be imbued with a languor that Meredith was glad for.

Because Addison seemed to want to be quiet for the time being, Meredith contented herself with running her hands lightly along Addison's back and body. She wanted her touch to be soothing and relaxing. Today her intent was not to arouse, even though she was sure that in the end they would both end up quite aroused through sheer force of will. They were close to each other, therefore it was inevitable.

Meredith wanted to tell Addison that she loved her, but right now it seemed too much, too soon, even though Meredith did feel like everything would never be enough. Not when it came to Addison and her.

The vibration of Meredith's pager caught both of them by surprise, but Meredith simply snatched the device from her waist and put it on the end table by the bed. Whatever it was, whoever it was, it could wait.

"Do you need to go." Addison spoke in a low gravely voice that held the echo of tears in it.

"Nope. I am right where I want to be." Meredith replied softly, kissing the top of Addison's head.

It seemed to be the correct answer as it caused Addison to settle back down again in Meredith's arms. Hopefully her stomach would not growl too hard, though. Meredith realised that she was starving. It was an issue she would need to deal with later, though. Meredith had no doubt that room service was excellent in this hotel, but there were other options.

"That woman, she is all alone." Addison spoke suddenly, her voice muffled by Meredith's body.

"I don't want to be alone." Addison continued, sounding lost and sad.

"You're not." Meredith reassured Addison and renewed her promise to herself.

She needed to end things with Derek, as soon as possible.

Addison seemed to be mollified by Meredith's words, at least for the time being and she shifted to a more open position. "I need to shower. I did not in the hospital." Addison remarked as Meredith continued to brush her fingers through Addison's hair.

"Will you stay the night?" Addison asked in a small voice.

"Yes, I will stay" Meredith replied at once.

Of course she would stay if Addison wanted her to. "Do you want me to?" Meredith queried, wanting to hear the words herself.

"Yes." Addison answered and Meredith have her a brief squeeze. "Then I will stay." Meredith replied in a gentle tone.

It was an easy to choose.

* * *

Addison had gone to take a shower. Meredith had held her and comforted her and listened to her without interruption for the better part of an hour and finally the other woman had declared that she had to shower. Surgical chemicals, the hint of blood and the memory of death made her skin itch and she just wanted to wash it away.

Meredith could understand that.

Upon hearing her own stomach growl Meredith was sure that Addison must also be starving,so she started to think about what to obtain for dinner. Addison did not seem like she would be into room service unless she had to be, so after a brief internal inventory of other options Meredith decided that there was another option, close by.

She gathered up her things and quickly scribbled a note to Addison on some hotel stationary, not wanting the other woman to think she had left permanently. Then Meredith snagged Addison's room key from the countertop near the door and snuck out. She was in a hurry and belatedly realised she had left her cell phone and her pager in the hotel room. Too late now.

Rushing to the street, Meredith sprinted across the mostly calm divide and rushed down the block. It would take her less time to job the distance than it would to fetch her car and find parking and then reverse the procedure when she was done.

As she scurried down the road, she decided that she needed another shower herself. She had taken one after her open heart surgery stint, but since then she had been covered in tears, and now she was doing Olympic food sprinting. Yuck.

Coming to a skidding halt in front of a Thai food place that she had eaten at before, Meredith put on her charm and slipped in. They did not normally do take out, but she was convinced that she could persuade them. Hopefully she would be able to guess what Addison liked. Might as well get enough garden rolls for breakfast as well. It beat the continental nonsense that the hotel served, that was for certain.

Thankfully the ordering went without a hitch and in relatively short order Meredith found herself jogging back down the road towards the hotel, this time laden with bags of food. It felt really good, or it actually felt surprisingly good to be rushing madly about for the same of a person that she cared about. There was something compelling about the flutter in her chest and the almost teenage nervousness about wondering if Addison would like what she brought for dinner.

The elevator seemed to be taking an eternity and between her running, her desire to get back to Addison, and her growling stomach which was complaining about not having the delicious offerings that the bags contained, Meredith was feeling almost faint by the time she rushed up to the hotel room door and juggled her bags and wallet and the key in order to get back in.

Quickly stepping in and closing the door behind her, Meredith was too distracted by everything to immediately notice Addison, that is until she turned around and saw the redhead standing in the middle of the room in a bathrobe looking bewildered and lost.

"Hey." Meredith said, practically slamming down her handfuls of food and other madness.

"Addison, what's wrong?" Meredith moved towards Addison and gently touched her arm, turning the other woman towards her.

There was a sheen of unshed tears in Addison's eyes. "Hey." Meredith repeated, gently drawing the redhead in for a light kiss. "What is it?" Meredith asked again.

Addison seemed to come back to herself with a few blinks and her gaze came back into focus. "I thought you had left." She finally mumbled under her breath, her fists clenching at her sides.

"No, Addison. I will never leave you." Meredith reassured, taking one of those clenched hands and pulling Addison by it to the table where she had left the note. "I even left you a note." Meredith said, holding up the slip of paper and as she glanced at it, Meredith noted that she did indeed have a doctor's handwriting.

The thought made her smile a little.

"Sorry. I am not usually this clingy." Addison sighed and ran a hand through her dishevelled and damp hair. "Okay well, maybe about once a decade I get needy. Maybe." She added sheepishly.

"You're adorable." Meredith said softly and watched as Addison blushed the roots of her hair at the comment.

Meredith needed to derail Addison from her current train of thought and pulled her into a full embrace and leaned in to kiss her, this time making no bones about it. Addison responded beautifully, arching into Meredith and curling herself around Meredith's body.

Addison was only wearing a robe and Meredith felt the sudden eruption of sweat as she noted this. "I need to shower, will you serve the food? I will be back in five." Meredith whispered against Addison's lips.

She needed a cold shower and Meredith figured that Addison would appreciate the opportunity to collect herself and have some moments of privacy to perhaps put some more clothes on. Meredith hoped that Addison was going to put some clothes on, or Meredith speculated that it was going to be extremely hard to eat without poking herself in the eye or something.

Meredith spared a thought to Derek as she undressed. She really needed to get this talk with him over with and she needed to end things. She had plans that involved her, and Addison naked and she was going to go bonkers unless they came to fruition sooner rather than later.

Time for a cold shower!

* * *

Dinner had been a great success with each of them taking turns to sample the foods and then they set extra garden rolls being set aside for breakfast. Addison had relaxed and told Meredith funny anecdotes from her own Residency. Sometimes Meredith forgot that Addison had once been a bumbling student; though Meredith doubted that the other woman had ever been as bumbling as Meredith seemed to be capable of.

Now, with her teeth brushed with a new spare toothbrush which had taken up a space next to Addison's in the bathroom, Meredith found herself once more falling asleep in Addison's bed. The redhead had been exhausted and had dropped off to sleep almost at once when they finally decided that sleep was a needed thing if they were going to be human in the morning.

Meredith was not falling asleep though, her mind and body were playing tricks on her and she found herself counting the ticks of the alarm clock that resided next to the bed. It was maddening, really. She was as tired as Addison, and her legs and feet ached, but she was wide awake and restless.

Glancing at the ticking clock, she noted that it had been well over an hour since they had finally laid down and she also noted that her arm had fallen asleep under Addison's head. Meredith needed to find out a way of extracting her arm without waking Addison up, but she was loathe to try.

Addison was sleeping so peacefully. Meredith found herself studying the beloved face in the light that was creeping around the edges of the heavy curtains that shielded them from the cityscape outside. The almost patrician lines of Addison's face were relaxed with sleep and Meredith wondered what she dreamt of, if anything.

Addison was beautiful. Meredith loved her.

Tomorrow Meredith was going to have to deal with Derek, somehow.

* * *

**Chapter 23**

It was early. Way too early to be up but something had woken her. Meredith looked around trying to figure out what had disturbed her sleep.

Addison.

Meredith rolled over hurriedly, concerned. Addison was moaning in her sleep and it was not a happy sound at all. She was having a nightmare and Meredith was loathe to let her continue her troubled sleep. Nightmares did not really do anyone any good at all. Often Meredith had wished that someone would wake her up, but just as often there had been no one to shake her free of her bad dreams.

Running her hand gently along Addison's face, Meredith leaned in and kissed the coveted cheek. "Addison, wake up." Meredith murmured, hoping that Addison was not such a deep sleeper that more strident measures would be needed to wake her up.

Addison's eyes flickered open and she looked at Meredith blearily, obviously still in the grip of whatever nasty dream she had been experiencing. "Meredith." Addison breathed, blinking against sleep.

"You're having a nightmare." Meredith elaborated, expecting Addison to inquire as to what was going on in her next statement.

"I was." Addison said, pulling Meredith closer to her.

Meredith was only too happy to be pulled closer and it was wonderful to feel Addison's body so entwined with her own. It was becoming hot under the blankets and again Meredith was reminded that she had to break things off once and for all with Derek. She wanted Addison, badly.

Taking a deep breath, Meredith tried to drag her thoughts out of the gutter. Addison had just woken up from a nightmare after having a day from hell the previous day. Now as not the time to be fanning the flames in her underwear.

Addison however, seemed to be having similar thoughts as Meredith suddenly found herself on her back with a very awake and alive Addison on top of her.

Oh. My.

It felt so good and every curve and slope of Addison's body seemed to fit Meredith's perfectly. This was heaven. Meredith moaned from deep within her chest and leaned up to capture Addison's mouth with a kiss. The redhead responded at once, pressing herself into Meredith's body and kissing Meredith with a fervour that was going to immolate them both in moments unless they managed to regain control somehow.

Addison slid her hand under Meredith's shirt and it was all Meredith could do to breathe and to remain focused on her goal of regaining control seemed to be distant.

"Addison." Meredith gasped when they came up for air.

The other woman seemed to be intent on her goal and leaned in to kiss Meredith again. Lifting her hand, Meredith laid her fingers on Addison's lips, feeling her own body flush with arousal and want. She wanted Addison, but the other woman had expressed the very specific wish to begin fresh and Meredith was intent on making sure that this is what happened. She would honour Addison's wishes, even if her whole body was screaming at her not to.

"I want you, Addison. I am a desert and you are rain. I want you to pour your passion into my soul and to make me flower after my long drought, but Addison. A clean start is also what I want with you. I want to do this right." Meredith did not pause to consider the rather lyrical way that she was speaking, the main thing was that Addison seemed to be listening.

"We should to sleep." Meredith whispered.

With a sigh, Addison relented, relinquishing her hold on Meredith and rolling off. "Okay." She said after a moment and then pulled Meredith close once more, seeming to give into the lassitude of night once more.

It did not take Meredith long to join her in sleep, despite the hormones that were raging in her body.

* * *

By morning Meredith was in a hurry. She needed a change of clothes, a shower and to be at work as quickly as possible. What she wanted though was to stay in the warm, safe bed with Addison and sleep the day and her cares away. There was no more denying it though and she really did need to get up and get going.

Addison did not have the same schedule as Meredith did, so she was still mostly asleep when Meredith crept out of the hotel room. No doubt Addison was exhausted from the day before. This time Meredith had made sure to stick her note in an incredibly obvious location so that the other woman would not miss it. Had Meredith not been running so late she might have had coffee or something delivered to the hotel room, just some sort of reminder of care and attention for Addison.

As it was Meredith was running almost full tilt on her way to the hospital entranceway. She wondered what Derek would be like today; Meredith had not been home the night before and Derek may have hung around for a while waiting to talk with her. Hopefully she would be able to find some time during the day to corner him and actually get what she had to say out. She needed to end things and she needed to do this post haste.

It turned out that she did not have long to wait in order to see Derek. She found him standing by the board and decided that it would be a good thing to at least try to say she was sorry for not showing up the night before to talk.

"I'm sorry, Derek. I was with Addison. She was really upset about the woman with the dead baby and before I knew it, well the time was late and I ended up sleeping in the hotel room." Meredith offered by way of olive branch.

"I'm not really in the mood to talk about this today, Meredith. And don't wait up for me tonight, either." Derek said briefly, without even looking at Meredith.

Great. Games. Her favourite.

Meredith did not really have time to consider the games though. Her schedule was full, Bailey was at full steam and Meredith wanted to find the time today to see how Addison was doing. Not just a quick page or something, but to actually talk with her. Right now however, she was being pulled in several different directions and there was simply no time to do anything but work. For now at least.

It would be several hours before Meredith was able to locate Addison. The redhead had come in to do a follow up on yesterday's patient and anticipating that Meredith managed to find her in the general vicinity of the area. Addison looked her usual radiant and beautiful self and despite the reminder of yesterday, she seemed to be fine. Meredith was still going to ask though as Addison was a master at concealing her emotions if she wanted to be. This was something that Meredith had noticed even before this, more in depth entanglement with the other woman.

"How are you doing?" Meredith asked when there was a private moment to do so.

"Better." Addison had replied and had bestowed Meredith with a smile that took her breath away.

Well, that had removed one problem from Meredith's plate. She was infinitely happy that Addison seemed to be recovered from the ordeal she had undergone. Now what remained was to talk with Derek, but he was clearly avoiding her and even by the time Meredith left the hospital in the evening, he had not made himself in any way available. Faced with the unavoidable facts, Meredith left Addison voicemail and wished her goodnight. The redhead was in a meeting and therefore not answering her phone. If time permitted, Meredith would try to call her later.

Right now however, she needed to go home. Life was certainly not all about what we wanted to do, it was very much a matter of what we had to do as well.

Right now, Meredith had to go home as she needed to talk with Derek. It was imperative, even though she wanted to go to Addison, wanted to be with Addison and wanted to sleep with her tonight, and tomorrow, and next year and beyond.

* * *

Meredith was making herself coffee the next morning when her phone rang. Snatching the device off the table she was thrilled to see Addison's number flash on the display. They had not managed to talk at all yesterday. Addison had been immersed in administrative things and with conference calls with her colleagues from LA all evening and when that was done, Derek had finally come home for just long enough to pack some stuff up to take to his trailer.

There had been no talking done between them.

But, now it was morning and Addison was calling. "Hi." Meredith said happily into the phone.

"Thank you for the flowers." Addison said without preamble and even thought there was no one to see Meredith, she blushed to the roots of her hair.

"You're welcome." Meredith said breathlessly.

Yesterday she had ordered a delivery of flowers to arrive at a precise time this morning and they obviously just had. Meredith had never gotten flowers for anyone before so that had been a whole new experience for her; one that she had enjoyed.

"They are beautiful." Addison commented and Meredith wondered if she was near the flowers.

"The poem was lovely as well." Addison commented, obviously content to continue this somewhat one sided conversation.

Meredith had found a short verse by a favourite poet to add to the bouquet. She was glad that Addison had approved and that she had enjoyed both the flowers and the poem itself.

"Will you be at the hospital today?" Meredith asked, hoping that Addison would be so that there would be a chance that they cross paths during the day.

"I will be in the afternoon. I'll page you." Addison replied, her voice sounding so very good to Meredith's ear.

"I'll do that." Meredith replied, feeling happiness swell in her chest along with a smile on her face.

"Until then." Addison said softly into the phone.

"Yes. Bye for now." Meredith replied and smiled again as the connection was closed.

Addison had liked the flowers. Yay!

* * *

By midmorning there was still no sign of Derek, and while Meredith had plenty to occupy her time, what she really wanted was to talk with Derek and be with Addison. Both of these options were not looking like they were going to happen anytime soon. Meredith had just leaned that she was scheduled for a double shift and would not be leaving the hospital anytime soon, or at least not until the early morning anyway.

On an up note, she had tomorrow off, so maybe she could catch up with things then. She did however want to find Derek and she was beginning to think that he was avoiding her. How else could one explain the fact that she had only seen him like two times for two minutes total in the past day or so.

Meredith did not have time for this sort of game.

"What are you daydreaming about?" Bailey asked sharply, making Meredith jump.

"You're on my service today, and I haven't got all day, Grey." Bailey added and Meredith shook herself free from her musings and quickly followed Bailey, knowing that while Bailey was fair, she did not suffer fools gladly.

Meredith also admired Miranda Bailey a great deal. She would be a doctor to emulate. Meredith hoped that when she finally finished being a Resident, she would be half the doctor that Bailey was. That would make an excellent start, though Meredith was sure her own mother might disagree.

_Always with the mommy issues, Meredith._

As she rounded a corner with Bailey, Meredith wondered at Addison's _mommy issues_. The redhead had mentioned a few things but it was not a conversation they had gone in depth with yet. Maybe soon. Meredith found that she was genuinely curious and wanted to know Addison fully, inside and out.

_Don't go there._

Meredith's mind seemed to be intent on conducting its own conversation today and Meredith, despite her best efforts found herself constantly and repeatedly flashing back to the previous night, with Addison on top of her. It made her blood feel hot and heavy in her body, to think of Addison like that and to remember how it felt.

Oh, how she wanted Addison and it was clear that the feeling was mutual. Meredith just needed to put an end to the Derek and Meredith saga, once and for all. She should have done this a while ago, even before Addison arrived on the scene in this new way. Derek has never been good for her, his presence had always been confusing, stifling and overly demanding and Meredith could not help but wonder what the past few years would have been like without him.

One could argue that there would have been no one to rescue her when she had drowned, but would she have drowned in the first place?

The what ifs were endless and Meredith resolved to not think about it too much. Right now her priorities were to end things with Derek and to get naked with Addison, in that order.

Bailey looked at Meredith sharply, forcing Meredith to come back into focus. If she wanted to emulate the venerable Miranda Bailey, Meredith would need to pay attention, right now. Bailey did not suffer fools gladly, especially not love sick fools.

Where was Cristina?

* * *

Three hours later, Meredith had not progressed in her quest to achieve any of her short term goals. A near miss with Derek in the cafeteria had almost ended in disaster, he had practically power walked away from her and Meredith had decided that she would need to confront him outside of the hospital, or it was simply not going to happen. He might simply be completely unwilling to deal with her in a professional setting.

Fine.

As for Addison, well the other woman had left a message that she was in the hospital, but would be stuck with human resources until late. Someone had misplaced her paperwork while she was in LA and she was having to redo it all. Meredith imagined that for a doctor of Addison's calibre that human resources were scrambling to make the procedure as painless and quick as possible. Addison could work anyplace she wanted, so it would be best to keep her as un-bothered by the mundane as possible.

Still, there were legal requirements to working in this hospital and even Addison was not immune to them.

Maybe Meredith could find a way to have a late lunch or early dinner in the cafeteria or something with Addison. No doubt the other woman would be leaving long before Meredith would be free to leave, but it would be good to see her, even briefly over Sloppy Joe's and salad someplace in the hospital itself.

Right now however, Meredith was in search of coffee and Cristina, though not necessarily in that order.

Before Meredith could even really begin to find her friend though, her pager went off and she was now on her way back to Bailey. Maybe the Attending would like some coffee instead?

What did Bailey want?

Meredith found out in short order when she was handed a stack of charts. "Time to practise your penmanship, Grey." Bailey had said and then accepted the offered cup of coffee with a slight smile.

Deciding to bring Bailey coffee more often, but not too often or the other woman would think that she wanted something, Meredith settled down into one of the small offices nearby and buckled down to do paperwork. With some luck she would be finished before Addison left, or at least finished enough that she could sneak away for a little bit without Bailey minding too much.

Hopefully the unintentional bribe of coffee would also help if needed.

* * *

As it turned out, dinner with Addison at the hospital did happen. Meredith had managed to wheedle some time from Bailey and was not waiting anxiously and hopefully for Addison to arrive at the cafeteria. She had about half an hour before she had to head back to surgery.

Thankfully Addison seemed to realise that Meredith was on a tight schedule and showed up in a few minutes. Seeing her for the first time since the morning made Meredith breathless and she rose from her seat to greet Addison with a huge smile on her face.

"It's so good to see you." Meredith said, wanting to embrace Addison and needing to kiss her.

When they were an established couple in the hospital she'd indulge that desire, but for now she settled for smiling at the redhead and hoping that half an hour would go slowly.

"You're stuck here for the night?" Addison asked, smiling at Meredith in return.

"Yeah." Meredith replied, adjusting the tray of food that she had before her.

"Too bad. I guess I will have to go back to the hotel and sulk then." Addison joked gently.

"You don't have to eat this, I just wanted your company." Meredith said, indicating the food on the tray.

The hospital cafeteria was one of the better ones when it came to the quality of the food it had, but it was still exactly that. Cafeteria food.

"I'll enjoy it vicariously, in that case." Addison said with a smile and Meredith laughed.

She herself was not having a heavy meal as even though she had long ago ceased to be disgusted by what she came upon in surgery or by what happened in the hospital, the fact remained that it could get harrowing at times, and blood had a very strong smell indeed, even to a nose that was accustomed to it.

"How was your day with human resources?" Meredith asked by way of conversational gambit.

"I swear, the idiots there could not find the bottom of a lake if they were standing on it. It's hardly my fault that they misplaced my paperwork." Addison replied in an exasperated tone of voice.

Meredith wisely refrained from giggling as she bit into her sandwich and watched Addison as she spoke with her hands as well as her voice. Meredith wanted those hands on her body. It had become a preoccupation since they had shared that first kiss what seemed like a lifetime ago now, and lately her preoccupation had intensified.

Just as Meredith was going to ask another question, her pager went off. Damn it. Grabbing the device from her pocket Meredith looked at it and frowned. It would seem that she was not being allocated the half hour she had hoped for to eat and to see Addison.

"I have to go." Meredith said with a sad sigh and stood up, snagging her apple from her tray and slipping it into her pocket.

It was going to be a long night.

"I'll try to call you later." Addison offered which brought another huge smile to Meredith's face.

"I'd like that." Meredith said, hoping that Addison would get something else instead of voicemail.

Addison walked out of the cafeteria with Meredith and they parted ways quickly, with Meredith going to find Bailey and Addison no doubt going to find some dinner before she went back to her hotel.

The night was going to seem long without Addison.

* * *

**Chapter 24**

It was six in the morning and Meredith was just getting home. Surgery had dragged on and she had been unable to do anything about it. Now Meredith just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep, but she wanted to crawl into bed with Addison, that was the problem.

Closing the front door, Meredith sensed that Derek was not in the house. No doubt he was out at his trailer licking his wounds after successfully managing to avoid her all day. She'd have to deal with him later. She wanted to move to the next level with Addison and in order to do that she had to be done with Derek.

Pulling out her phone as she worked her way to the bathroom, Meredith checked her messages. There was one voice mail. Was it from Addison?

Excitedly Meredith punched in the relevant code and waited with baited breath as the automated system took a microsecond to retrieve her message.

_Hi Meredith. I checked, your surgery dragged on. So, now that you have listened to this, go to bed. We'll talk tomorrow. Sleep well._

Meredith replayed the message happily as she brushed her teeth and then made her way to the bedroom to hopefully sleep. She had the day off and she had no idea how she was going to spend it, but it did mean that she needed to sleep so as not to be the living dead once she had decided what to do with her day.

Listening to the voicemail from Addison one more time, Meredith finally decided that she needed to get some sleep. Rolling over in bed she closed her eyes and tried to relax. The day had been rather high strung so it was not going to be as simple as that to fall asleep.

As she lay there, Meredith wondered what Addison was doing. Was she asleep? What had she had for dinner? Endless questions, some so simple and other infinitely more complex. Meredith speculated that she had never been so interested in the minutiae of another person before. There did not seem to be an end to what she wanted to know about Addison.

Meredith wondered if Addison found her interesting?

They were very different. Addison was elegant, sophisticated. She wore heels, and silk and skirts and spoke with the cultured tones of an expensive private education. Meredith was not especially elegant, nor was she very sophisticated. She wore blue sneakers, was comfortable in sweats and scrubs and spoke like a woman who had been brought up by an impatient doctor, otherwise known as her mother.

Yet, despite these differences and the huge variance in their personal backgrounds, something seemed to draw them together. They had an intensity, and a darkness in common. Meredith also suspected that Addison was a woman who like Meredith, lived in a world that was in shades of grey, and rarely, if ever was in simple black and white.

This seemed to be part of their compatibility, never mind that they had chemistry as well. Oh boy did they have chemistry.

Meredith fell asleep without realising it.

* * *

Meredith finally woke up hours, or maybe a lifetime later. Glancing at the clock she realised that a scant six hours had passed since she had laid down, but despite that fact she felt awake. She felt alive and refreshed and ready to face the day.

The only problem was she did not know what to do with her day. Laying on her bed staring at the ceiling she realised she could count on one hand the number of day's off she had experienced in the last few years. Maybe she was turning into her mother; a certified workaholic. Or maybe not. Maybe she just liked her work, enjoyed her place in the world and was rewarded by both?

It was a nice thought.

However, she now had something and someone completely different in her life to live for, to look forward to and to be around. Things were looking up.

Just as soon as she had dealt with Derek that was.

Today would be the day. Whether he liked it or not they were going to talk today and that was all there was to it.

Rolling out of bed onto her feet, Meredith stretched out her body and then headed to the bathroom. Shower, clothes, coffee. Those were the priorities right now.

Half an hour later Meredith had no more idea what to do with her day than she had when she woke up. Breakfast at home seemed like a tedious proposition at best, so she gathered up her things and secured the house before moving to the car; she would go someplace and have breakfast and coffee and maybe she would be able to organise her thoughts a little more once she was away from the oppressive reminders of her house.

She really did need to get an extreme makeover done on the place. The ghost of her mother, the memories of her childhood, and now the shadows of her relationship with Derek haunted the place. She wanted a fresh start and Meredith decided that part of that fresh start would be instigated on the very basic level of how she lived.

But those were considerations for another time. Right now she needed food, caffeine and a plan to both catch up with Derek, and to hopefully run into Addison. Not necessarily in that order either.

A breakfast burrito and a multi-shot latte in hand, Meredith retreated to her car and drove to the waterfront, wanting to enjoy her morning repast with a peaceful view. Would Addison enjoy something like this? Probably. For all her sophistication the redhead was also a woman of simple pleasures. Meredith decided that she liked this about the other woman. It fit well with her own world view.

Parking the car, Meredith got out and moved to sit up on the hood of the vehicle as she looked out over the small park that she had found. There were a few families with small children playing in the green area and behind them the peaceful waves of Puget Sound glistened in the light of the day. So far Seattle seemed to be putting on one of its fine, rain free days. Hopefully it would last.

Watching the children play as she munched on her burrito, Meredith felt a sense of wistfulness overcome her. She wondered if she would ever have the sort of simple pleasures that the oblivious families seemed to be having as they ran after balls and dogs and butterflies in the grass.

* * *

She was a workaholic.

Meredith decided this about herself as she pulled into the hospital parking lot. She was not on duty today and was not even on call, but here she was, at the hospital and about to go in. Meredith told herself that she was doing this because she wanted to see Addison and that was certainly part of it. She then convinced herself that this was where she could find Derek as well.

In the end though, the real reason she was here was mainly because she did not know what else to do with her day off. Her life, her friends and what interested her was here and unless or until she got a hobby, or a life that brought something else to the table, she would undoubtedly be spending more free days here in the future.

Maybe that was not such a bad thing.

Rolling her eyes at herself, Meredith walked up to the board and glanced at it, trying to determine where the people of interest were today. Addison was on her way surgery, if Meredith hurried she might be able to catch her. Derek was not on the board and Cristina seemed to be working with Mark Sloan today. Interesting.

Rushing now, Meredith scrambled through the hospital corridors in the hopes of seeing Addison if only for a few moments before the redhead needed to go into surgery. No one paid her any attention even though she was in jeans and not scrubs. Meredith Grey belonged in this hospital and she sometimes though that they would be surprised to find her absent, not the other way around.

Meredith caught sight of Addison and sped up. The redhead was about to enter the scrub room and Meredith wanted to catch her before then. "Whoa, Meredith. What's the rush?" Addison asked with a laugh when Meredith came to a skidding halt in front of her.

"Just wanted to catch you before you went to scrub up." Meredith explained breathlessly and smiled at Addison, unable to contain her happiness at seeing the other woman.

"Well, here I am." Addison replied with a smile and Meredith could see that Addison was just as happy to see her.

"Can we do something later? I have the day off." Meredith asked, feeling hopeful.

"You're here on your day off?" Addison asked, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes now.

"Yeah." Meredith replied sheepishly, feeling a little heat in her face.

"I missed you last night." Meredith added.

Addison looked at her with a knowing look before she relented. "I'll call you when I am done here, alright?" Addison suggested and Meredith beamed with happiness.

"Sure." Meredith agreed and then stepped back to allow Addison space to get scrubbed up.

"I missed you too, and I missed you in my bed as well." Addison murmured and the words made Meredith feel warm and happy.

The redhead leaned in and kissed Meredith with a rather simple, chaste kiss, but it made Meredith's toes curl in her blue sneakers and it made her heart pound in her chest. Not a lot of hugging or touching could occur right now however, no matter how much Meredith may have wanted to. Addison was going into surgery after all. Meredith debated whether she would go and observe the other woman work from the gallery as the door closed. It would be a way to pass the time.

* * *

Meredith eventually decided that she wanted to talk with Cristina and thus instead of sitting in the gallery, she had sought out her person in the hospital and eventually bribed her with a salad and coffee to tear herself away from work for a few minutes to give Meredith some Cristina Time.

"Another date with Addison. I know it's coming soon. I want it to, I can't wait actually. I am just trying to think what to do with her." Meredith said to Cristina as she settled down in a seat. "I am not very good at dating." Meredith added knowing that it was the truth.

"Wow, this is getting serious." Cristina intoned, somehow making it all sound irreverent at the same time.

It was just what Meredith needed, someone to bring her back down to earth. She also noted that Cristina did not disagree about Meredith not being any good at dating. Trust Cristina to always be honest. It was indeed just what Meredith needed to say the least.

"It is getting serious." Meredith agreed finally and internally debated that it had been serious for her since that first hasty kiss that had started all of this.

Or had it started earlier even? Impossible to tell right now. Maybe when she had more distance she would have a better idea of things. Maybe.

"So, will Addison and you finally get to know each other in the biblical sense?" Cristina asked though a mouthful of food as Meredith stared off into space distracted by her own thoughts.

Meredith blushed scarlet and cleared her throat to cover her embarrassment. "I don't know. Oh God, I don't know how to have sex with a woman." Meredith almost whined.

"Well, good thing for you I am a doctor." Cristina intoned and quickly finished her bite of food before standing up and grabbing Meredith by the jacket. "Come along."

Bewildered and not a little horrified that perhaps Cristina was going to give her a practical demonstration, Meredith reluctantly followed along after her friend as it seemed that Cristina was going to insist if Meredith said no.

A few minutes later Cristina had them in the Resident's Lounge and was rummaging around in her cubicle. "You know, I love you and everything, but I am so not going to be a live model for this." Cristina said as she began to flip through the book.

"Ah, here we go." She said and pushed Meredith down to sit before sitting down next to her. "You mean to tell me that McAss never showed you the joys of cunnilingus?" Cristina asked with enough gravity to make Meredith giggle.

"Uhm." Meredith cringed at how inarticulate she sounded.

"Hm. I guess he's a McPenis." Cristina said in a deadpan way that made Meredith begin to guffaw.

"Okay, time for serious time. Here. Take a look a this." Cristina pointed at the lurid, vivid colour picture in the book in the book she was holding.

"Cristina." Meredith moaned.

"Oh come on, this is important. You want Satan to come hard enough to find God, don't you?" Cristina said practically.

Now Meredith did laugh and in a few seconds she was laughing hard enough that tears were streaming down her face and Cristina was laughing along with her, the book forgotten at their feet as they howled.

"You're the best, Cristina." Meredith gasped out through wheezes.

"Just don't tell me the details, okay?" Cristina managed to cough out as they started to collect themselves and Meredith picked up the book once more.

"How am I going to do this?" She queried, mostly in a rhetorical way.

"With your tongue." Cristina said and grabbed the book from Meredith and peered at it intently as if it held the answers to the meaning of life.

"Just remember not to think like McQuick, and remember the objective: Satan needs to find religion." Meredith giggled at her friend's words and started to feel much more relaxed about the whole situation.

It was good to have a person like Cristina in her life. Very good. Perhaps she would survive this after all.

* * *

"I will be there in an hour or so, Meredith. I have to deal with this patient first." Addison said over the phone as Meredith made her way to the labs.

"Alright. If we miss each other, maybe we can get together later?" Meredith hoped that she did not sound too clingy or hopeful.

"I'll call you if we don't connect at the hospital. I have to deal with Derek first. I swear, you think that man could just let me go and get on with his life." Addison sounded almost like she was talking to herself.

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked, despite herself.

"Well, there is always some paperwork I have yet to do at the hospital, always. And since he became Chief it has become worse." Addison extrapolated and Meredith could hear the distraction in her voice. Addison was obviously busy.

"I am so done with him, that if I were steak I would be a little lump of charcoal on the grill." Addison added, sounding peeved now.

"I know." Meredith murmured discreetly as a group of Interns walked past her.

"I know, I know. I am very dark and twisted." Addison commented after a beat or two.

"I like my people to have less sugar and spice and all things nice, Addison." Meredith said by way of reply.

"And I am your person?" Addison sounded almost hopeful now.

"I hope so, Addison. I want you to be one of my people. I would love that." Meredith barely held back the urge to tell Addison that she loved her.

It was too soon, or it seemed somehow wrong to do it over the phone.

"Me too, Meredith." Addison whispered and then hung up the phone.

"Ditto." Meredith whispered into the silent phone before she closed it and slid it back into her pocket.

Now the search for Callie Torres resumed. Meredith had some questions and she figured that perhaps the hospitals resident lesbian, or well, one of them anyway, would be able to give her some answers.

Without knocking, Meredith pushed open a lab door and found Torres and Bailey engaged in a heated conversation.

"The surgical area needs to be prepped." Callie was saying and Bailey looked like her head was about to explode.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Meredith asked, wondering what sort of surgery they were talking about.

"Don't ask!" Bailey said.

"Surgical field?" Meredith queried from the tall brunette.

Callie giggled slightly before she rolled her eyes. "She has a case of Bailey Nerves. You know the kind." Callie elaborated.

"Torres!" Bailey looked like she wanted to melt into the floor.

"Uhm we were just talking about how to get ready for a date." Callie said with a smile in her voice.

It was obvious that she was enjoying herself tremendously at Bailey's expense, but it was also clear that she was happy for Meredith as well.

"What can I do for you, Meredith?" Callie asked after another moment passed.

"I need some advice about, hm, Addison and me." Meredith said in a rush.

"I see, and you want me to what, give you tips on how to woo her?" Callie asked with a sarcastic tone.

She looked up at Meredith when she said this and then paused mid action. "You do, don't you?" She said in a much more serious tone.

"Yeah." Meredith said and sat down on the stool across the counter from Callie.

"Dear God, when did I become the go-to gal for dating tips?" Callie looked towards the heavens when she said this but Meredith could tell she was very pleased to be asked, regardless.

"It's the third date soon; the sex date." Meredith explained and at that Callie turned to Bailey and smiled triumphantly.

Meredith wondered what that was all about, but thought better than to ask.

It helped that Callie was a very good friend of Addison's. Maybe this would not be so awkward.

"You know, she called me earlier and asked me for advice on this very subject." Callie said after she had settled down and rested her chin in her hand.

"She did. You have to promise me something, Grey. Don't hurt her." Callie sounded so earnest, and so serious that Meredith could only nod and something in her expression seemed to satisfy the other woman.

"So, what can I do for you?" Callie asked pleasantly, but Meredith could see a wicked twinkle in her eyes as she did.

Deciding to go right for the jugular, Meredith blushed and then blurted out her question. "I have never made love with a woman before." For a split second it was so quiet that Meredith could hear the hospital's air conditioning system in the far away background.

"Well, neither had I until the first time." Callie offered and it became clear that she was holding back some serious laughter.

Glancing at Bailey, Meredith suddenly gleaned a reason for Callie's mirth. Bailey looked distinctly uncomfortable and it was hilarious.

"You want technique tips or something?" Callie asked after a beat.

Bailey blinked once and Meredith started to fight her own urge to laugh out loud. "Is it hard? I am nervous and I don't want to mess this up." Meredith said, feeling as intimidated as she sounded.

"Not to worry. Callie is here to help." The brunette doctor said reassuringly and cracked her knuckles.

The incongruity of the act made Meredith giggle and beside her she swore she could hear Bailey snort back some laughter as well. Oh boy.

"Hm, well you know women don't have penises, though you could buy a toy." Callie began, sounding every bit as serious a lecturer rather than a woman advising another woman on how to satisfy a third woman.

"I don't want to use a toy." Meredith coughed. "Hands and mouth." She managed to croak out looking between Callie and Miranda as she blushed to the roots of her hair.

"Do I look like a lesbian or something?" Bailey demanded apropos of nothing.

"Sorry, Bailey." Meredith said and it was clear from her tone that she was not sorry at all.

She also noted that Bailey made no move to leave. Maybe she was looking for tips on how to enhance her own sex life?

"Well hands is easy, just touch her like you would touch herself and listen to her body. But mouths? Well, you're going to get a cramp in your jaw and your tongue will get tired. We need to start a training regimen!" Callie said looking very pleased with herself.

"What?" Bailey demanded and threw up her hands and rolled her eyes.

Callie was not able to hold back her laughter at this. "Fine. You two have at it then! Jesus, a training regimen? Lord have mercy!" Bailey said in a huff and swept out of the room.

"A training regimen?" Meredith asked, almost afraid of whatever Callie was going to say next.

"You like ice cream, right? Just buy it in a cone, and when you can eat all the ice cream out of the cone without actually eating the cone, you're ready, soldier!" Callie laughed and as soon as Meredith had processed what the other woman had said, she found herself laughing as well

It felt good.

She may not have had any clue as to how to make love to Addison, but she at least felt better about the fact that she was going to have to use trial and error to figure it out. With Callie on her side, and Cristina with her anatomy books, how could she go wrong?

* * *

**Chapter 25**

Some time later found Meredith looking for Derek, but he did not seem to be at the hospital. He had cleared his schedule and left early and as Meredith stood near the Nurses Station trying to act casual she started to overhear things that she was shocked about. She figured that in civilian clothing and turned away she did not look like Meredith Grey at a quick glance, at least not to the nurses.

_Oh my God._

Not really believing what she had heard, Meredith made her way to her car and determined that she needed to see Derek, now. He was at his trailer, Meredith was sure of it and with a determined grinding of gears, Meredith made her way out there. It was not going to be pretty. Especially not after what she had just heard. If that was true Meredith was not certain exactly how she was going to react.

Traffic was light so she made good time and as she drove she tried to imagine what she might say to Derek. Not that rehearsing her words would do any good.

Stopping the car far enough away from the trailer that her approach was going to be somewhat stealthy, Meredith made her way to the trailer with her heart in her throat. What was she going to find? What was going to happen?

Derek was there, at least that much was clear.

Opening the door without knocking as Meredith was in fact Derek's wife of sorts, Meredith stepped up into the cabin and looked around. There was an opened bottle of wine, evidence of takeout and two glasses.

Meredith turned and walked towards the bedroom area of the trailer, not pausing or hesitating even though in her mind she knew that she was going to find something that would end things between her and Derek no matter what, regardless of the fact that Meredith had already decided to end things between them once and for all.

The occupants in the bed were occupied so they did not notice Meredith's approach, but when Meredith caught a glimpse of the woman who was with Derek, she could no longer keep silent.

"Syph Nurse?" Meredith said in a loud tone.

"You're in bed with Syph Nurse?" Meredith would have laughed at the reaction her words had on Derek and Nurse Olivia, AKA Syph Nurse, but she was too busy being horrified and preoccupied by the impending doom of the defining relationship of her adult life.

"Shit!" Meredith heard a feminine voice say and then there was the satisfying clunk of someone hitting their head.

"Meredith!" Derek exclaimed as he practically pushed Syph Nurse from the bed and scrambled up to look for clothes.

"You know, Chief Shepherd, the Nurses Station at the hospital is just buzzing about this relationship. They are drawing straws as to who is going to proposition you next." Meredith said and glared at Olivia who was now mostly dressed.

"Get out, Typhoid Mary." Meredith said coldly at the woman, not giving a shit where she went or how she did it; Meredith only wanted her gone.

"Did you at least use a condom?" Meredith exclaimed, resisting the irrational urge to wipe her hands on her pants.

"Yes!" Derek said, not sounding at all convincing.

"Great, Derek. Just great. You're such a prince you know that?" Meredith heard the front door of the trailer close as she walked back into the living area of the abode.

"Hey, I am a man and I have needs. You were not filling them." He spluttered as he followed her.

"That is so cliche, Derek. I can't believe you've stooped to using it. Or wait, I can, actually, especially after just seeing Syph Nurse all over you.

He stank of cheap wine, cheap perfume, cheap sex, and old sweat. Fantastic. What the hell had she ever seen in him...

Was it the hair?

Wait until Cristina got a load of this.

"You can hardly take the high road, Meredith!" Derek exclaimed as he hastily buttoned up his rumpled shirt.

"You've been awfully chummy Addison lately, don't think I don't know that something is going on." Derek sneered, making Meredith want to throw something at him.

"You don't know anything about it!" Meredith hissed in reaction, stepping away from Derek angrily.

"Oh but I do, Meredith. You think I'm blind?" Derek fumed.

"She did it to me once already, except this time she is taking you away from me, instead of herself." He added, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

Meredith stared at Derek in disbelief, was this what he really believed?

"You think what you have with her, this lesbo thing whatever, is real?" Derek continued, advancing on her as he spoke.

"You're pathetic." He hissed as he got right into her face.

Feeling her resolve to remain strong start to crumble, Meredith attempted to rally her defences and pushed Derek away from herself forcefully.

"At least her ego does not kill people." She countered angrily, immediately regretting her decision to lower herself to trading insults with him.

Derek looked furious and he brushed off her attempts to push him away.

"She'll do it to you. Fuck around. You think she'll stop for you? You're _ordinary_. Addison requires something _extraordinary_ and you are not it." Derek replied angrily, cutting Meredith deeply by using her mother's words.

"She's playing with you. You're just a new shiny toy to her." The words cut even deeper and Meredith felt flat footed and unable to reply as he took another verbal swing at her and scored an uppercut to her solar plexsus. "What could you possibly offer someone like Addison?"

Meredith fought not to react at the words but she could not help herself. His every phrase was blinding her with emotion, pain, and hurt.

"You'll grow old alone, angry and unloved like your mother. If you're lucky you'll lose your memory too and that way you might not know how miserable you really are." Derek was relentless in his attacks and Meredith found herself on the back foot.

Taking a deep breath Meredith stood straighter and looked him right in the eye. "I don't love you anymore." She enunciated clearly. "It's over." She added.

Derek's eyes got huge and his face purpled with rage at her statement. Meredith refused to flinch and then jumped as he turned abruptly and went to dig around in a bag by the door.

Moments later he returned holding a frame in his hands. "You know what this is?" He asked, holding out the frame for her to see.

"This is you not being able to make a commitment to anything." Derek said angrily and then he broke the frame over the corner of the table that occupied the space. "God forbid you ever have children, you won't able to commit to them either." He added nastily almost to himself.

"I brought this here because I wanted to have a reminded of what you and I used to be." Derek explained, sounding perfectly reasonable for a moment or two.

Then as Meredith watched as he pulled the post-it notes from the frame and tore them up before throwing the into her face.

"There, you see, easy. I should have done that a long time ago." He snipped at her bitterly.

Before Meredith knew what was going on she felt her arm swing out at him and when the force of her palm impacting on his cheek traveled up her arm registered the sound of the slap reached her ears only a fraction of a moment later.

Derek recoiled from her, touching his cheek and his eyes blazed with fury. Meredith was stunned at what she had just done. It seemed unbelievable.

"You want it rough, huh?" He asked, advancing on her menacingly.

Meredith did not have time to process what was going on before Derek had seized her in a painful grip and was pushing himself against her. "I can give you rough, you whore." He said into her ear, licking it and making Meredith shudder in disgust.

"You just need some male attention and I have been neglecting that for the past little while." Derek rubbed himself harder against Meredith and moved in to kiss her.

Horrified, Meredith tried to squirm away and to her dismay, he seemed to be thrilled by her struggle. _Shit!_

"No dick for you, huh?" Derek ground out as he pressed himself against her hard enough for it to hurt. "I can do fingers. You want fingers now?" He began to tear at the button of her jeans as Meredith fought to gain space, breathing room; her freedom.

"You better get ready, _baby_ , or this will hurt." Derek snarled as he managed to get one of the buttons undone despite Meredith's resistance.

Oh fuck, he was really going to do this. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Fuck. Meredith's mind screamed as she struggled even harder but to no avail.

In desperation Meredith turned her face away from him and prepared to kick him in the crotch as he sought to kiss or touch her again. "I love her, Derek! I love Addison." Meredith sobbed as his kiss landed on her cheek just a fraction of an inch short of her mouth.

Derek let go of her as if he had been burned and took several steps away from her the wildness in his eyes switching to horror in moments.

"I'm sorry." He gasped, waving his hand between them. "This is not me." He added, seeming to come to his senses.

"It seemed to be." Meredith said pointedly as she sidestepped the broken glass on the floor and moved towards the door, eager to escape this madness and barely containing herself as she sought to get away.

She would not break down in front of Derek. She'd die first.

"Get out." Derek said when Meredith hesitated briefly at the door, wanting to add something.

"Just get out." Derek repeated as Meredith opened her mouth to speak.

Just before she let go of the door, she turned back to him and sighed. "I never meant to hurt you, Derek." She said softly but he did not acknowledge her.

It was over.

* * *

She had no idea where she was going, but the car seemed to be mostly driving itself as heavy drops of rain began to fall from the sky and as Meredith drove through the twilight she found that she could not make her brain engage.

Her cell phone buzzed and Meredith snatched it up, switching it off and throwing it into the backseat of her car. The last thing she needed right now was more people telling her what else was wrong with her and how much of a failure she was. As an afterthought Meredith snatched her pager from her waist and slammed it against the dashboard of the car, breaking open its battery compartment and scattering pieces and batteries everywhere.

Dimly she was aware that her hand hurt, but it would take a great deal more than just some vague pain to make her care. She needed to think and the rain was in the way, the loud drops scattering and splashing as her wiper blades sought to push them aside were like intrusive fingers poking at her. She needed to stop the car.

It was not safe for her to be driving.

It was not safe.

Would she ever be safe again?

Derek's words echoes in her mind as she pulled off the road near Elliot Bay and turned off the ignition. Without the motor running the rain was louder, angrier, more maddening. Meredith pushed open the door and stepped out of the car into the rain, feeling its icy fingers soak through her clothes at once. At least it was not so loud anymore, maybe she would be able to think.

Walking to the water, oblivious to the fact that she was instantly soaked to the skin Meredith looked out over the black expanse of angry water. It matched her mood. She was angry, hurt, confused. She was alone.

Why didn't she have someone who could explain this shit to her anyway?

Meredith sat down blindly, oblivious to anything except how she was feeling and as the rain poured down she buried her head in her hands and wept. She wept for the little girl who had not been able to rely on a mother's love and the subsequent woman who did not think that she could be loved.

If her own mother placed conditions on love, how could anyone truly love her?

Even Derek, with whom she had at one point been sure she would build a future with and with whom she had made promises, had turned on her in the end.

Maybe she was just ordinary, boring, stupid Meredith who would never be able to escape the chains of her childhood baggage. Maybe she needed to bury her brain in a bottle of tequila and then go for another swim, this time in the rain.

There would be no Derek to rescue her this time.

And Addison, what did the redhead want from her?

Was Meredith just a fling, a slight of fancy and a toy?

Meredith did not want to be anyone's toy, never again.

The thought dragged Meredith to her feet and she stumbled back to the car, blinded by rain and by tears and by the raging blackness of her own emotions.

If Addison was going to play games with her, Meredith was going to show Addison that she was no pawn in some fucked up chessboard of life.

* * *

**Chapter 26**

Meredith had no idea how she eventually got to the hotel parking that had become so familiar to her over the past while, but she found herself there now. The interior of the car was soaked and the windows were steamy and Meredith was dimly aware of being freezing cold as she stared out of the car and pondered her next move.

There was an unopened bottle of tequila on the car seat beside her. The choice was between that bottle and sitting in the car until she passed out and possibly became hypothermic, or suffered alcohol poisoning, or Addison.

Angrily Meredith pounded on her steering wheel, not knowing what to do next. Part of her wanted to bury herself into the oblivion of booze, but she also wanted to be sober when she confronted Addison. Meredith was no good at playing games when she was drunk. She was just good at fucking things up.

Well, she was good at fucking things up anyway.

Might as well fuck this up too and get it over with.

With that thought Meredith grabbed the tequila and stepped out of the car making her way to the hotel lobby.

Maybe she could combine her fuck ups tonight?

No one challenged her as she walked to the bank of elevators for which Meredith was infinitely glad, she was not in the mood to be arrested tonight. She wanted to talk with Addison as soon as possible and did not want to do it via a phone call, compliments of the Seattle PD.

Meredith was shaking with cold now and as she stumbled out of the elevator on Addison's floor, she found herself in a set of arms that seemed familiar, even in her befuddled state of awareness.

"Easy." A warm, concerned filled voice said.

Looking up into the friendly, concerned face of the janitor who had become her friend over the past few weeks, Meredith almost gave in and let him hold her. She needed to be strong though. This was not the time to stop fighting, maybe in a few minutes, but not now.

"It's okay." The man said and gently pried the bottle of tequila from Meredith's grip before he turned in one smooth movement and deposited it into the trash can behind him.

"You don't need that." He whispered and then before Meredith could protest walked her to Addison's door which he knocked on without hesitation.

Meanwhile Meredith found herself trying to collect her wits, her ire and her game plan as the door latches moved and then Addison was standing there. Meredith barely had time to register the shocked expression on the redhead's face before the janitor spoke to Addison.

"I found her by the elevator with an unopened bottle of tequila in her hand." He said, concern filling his voice as he handed her off to Addison.

"Thank you." Meredith heard Addison murmur and then the door closed and she was in the dim, familiar space of Addison's hotel room.

She wanted to give in. She wanted to bury herself in Addison's arms and let go, but she did now know how. She had no idea how to let her guard down and simply let go. Her fucked up childhood and screwed up adulthood had ensured that she was emotionally fucked up the point of not being able to identify her own feelings.

Maybe this was how Owen Hunt felt?

He was emotionally damaged to the point of being completely out of touch with who he was. Maybe Meredith could try to talk to him?

"Meredith." Addison's voice was so full of concern that Meredith could barely stand it.

She did not want compassion, she needed anger, hurt, pain. She needed things that built her walls up and made her safe.

Addison's warmth and love were breaking through decades worth of defences in just a few words.

"I'm no good for you." Meredith finally managed to say past her chattering teeth.

"No?" Addison asked and Meredith was dimly aware of the fact that her soaking wet clothes were being stripped from her body and she was being guided towards the bed.

"No. I am ordinary. I am never good enough for anyone. I am fucked up and even my own mother was unable to love me." Meredith slurred, feeling her emotions and the cold bite deep into her ability to articulate clearly.

"I'm not your mother." Addison said easily as she sat Meredith down and it was then that Meredith became aware that she was naked.

Somehow Addison had managed to remove Meredith's clothing without her really being aware of it.

"What is this?" This time Addison's voice was deadly serious.

Blinking, Meredith looked at Addison with a question in her eyes.

The redhead held up Meredith's wrist which had livid bruises on it from where Derek had grabbed her. Meredith felt like laughing when she saw them; so it had been real.

"Derek said I have commitment issues." Meredith slurred as Addison pulled a robe around Meredith's shivering form.

"Derek did this?" There was something deadly in Addison's voice that snapped Meredith to almost full awareness.

"I'll kill him." Addison said furiously, her voice laced with hot anger.

Meredith decided that Addison was not kidding. "He's not worth it." Meredith managed, pulling her hand free from Addison's and running her fingers along the coveted cheek of the other woman.

"I need to run a bath for you, stay here." Addison finally said and with the words she vanished into the bathroom leaving Meredith alone on the bed feeling bewildered and bedraggled.

Was she really here, in Addison's room?

She was so cold it hurt and now that she was no longer in the daze of rain and tears she realised that her hand ached. Meredith looked at her right palm, seeing blood on it. How had that happened? It had jagged cuts on it that were caked with dirt and blood. Meredith could nor remember doing that.

In fact Meredith could barely remember anything for the last few hours, only the bruises on her wrists, her shivering body and her sore hand seemed to be evidence of events that had occurred to her.

Meredith felt, rather than heard Addison return and then gentle arms lifted her and guided her to the bathroom where the lights were dimmed and a few candles were lit. It was peaceful and Meredith was surprised to see that the bathtub was almost full.

The miracles of state of the art plumbing in an expensive hotel room.

"Come on." Addison said gently and a moment later Meredith stepped into the hot water.

It burned, but it felt good, as did Addison's soft hands on her body, holding her, protecting her. Somehow making it safe for Meredith.

A few seconds passed and Meredith was safely ensconced by hot bubbly water that smelled of lavender and then Addison sat down on the toilet seat and ran her hand through Meredith's tangled hair.

"It will be okay, Meredith." Addison murmured gently.

"Will it?" Meredith asked, feeling the renewed threat of tears.

"It will." Addison assured her, moving now to examine Meredith's cut hand.

"Just as soon as I take a look at this." Addison added.

"You should see the other guy." Meredith attempted to joke a little.

"Oh?" Came the noncommittal question. "Yeah, who knew a pager could be such a vicious thing." Meredith whispered.

Meredith barely registered Addison cleaning the wound carefully, what she did notice was how gentle the redhead was.

It was too late for Meredith to back out of this. She was in love with Addison. The words were on the tip of her tongue right now, but still she hesitated.

Why couldn't she say them?

What the hell was the matter with her that she could not manage three simple words?

"I only fall apart once a decade or so." Meredith said, feeling tired.

Addison smiled, looking at her and Meredith felt a surge of hope and of warmth as the redhead returned her focus to Meredith's hand.

Maybe this would be okay after all.

* * *

An indeterminate amount of time later Meredith found herself in Addison's bed, wrapped in a robe under the blankets. Addison, like all good doctors of her calibre, carried a medical kit with her at all times. Meredith's palm now boasted a very tidy bandage over the small cut she had gotten earlier when she had smashed her unfortunate and innocent pager.

It seemed almost surreal, if Meredith was honest with herself. She did not remember Addison working on her hand, nor did she remember the room service that included hot tea and a simple repast that Addison had all but coerced Meredith to eat. Now Addison was putting the tray outside the door and locking up for the night.

Did the other woman want to talk, or what?

Addison slipped into the bed next to Meredith and gathered her up so that Meredith was resting with her head on Addison's chest. Meredith sighed deeply; it felt so good.

"You want to talk about it?" Addison queried after they had been quiet for some moments.

"I don't know." Meredith said honestly, feeling the threat of tears lurking in the background once more.

"I am no good for you, Addison." Meredith finally said, pulling herself reluctantly away from Addison. "I am dark and difficult and complicated." Meredith added, scrubbing at her eyes with her hand roughly.

"I decide what is good or bad for me, Meredith. Not you." Addison said simply, snatching Meredith's hand away from abusing her eye.

"Stop that or you will give Mark Sloan your business long before you even need to think about it." Addison admonished gently.

Meredith wanted to smile at the statement but her face would not cooperate.

"What did Derek do?" Addison queried gently, pulling on Meredith's arm and easing Meredith back to rest against her side.

"He got mad. Said some stuff, and then, well he propositioned me and not very gently either." Meredith summarised, unconsciously rubbing her wrists as she spoke.

Addison gripped her more tightly and Meredith could hear the furious exhalation of breath as the redhead fumed. "It's okay, Addison. He is not worth it. Stay with me here." Meredith implored, pleasing herself with how reasonable and adult she sounded.

"Fine." Addison whispered, kissing Meredith's temple and holding her tighter.

"You're an extraordinary woman, Meredith. Whatever he said to you is not true." Addison murmured.

"He knows about us. I caught him in bed with Syph Nurse and that is when this all came to ahead. He knows. We are over. I am free." Meredith said in a rush, burying her head against Addison's side as she spoke.

"You are free." Addison repeated gently. "Are you sorry?" The vulnerability in Addison's voice made Meredith's breath catch.

"No. I a not sorry." Meredith said at once, rising up to sit on her knees and taking Addison's face in her hands and leaned in to kiss her gently.

Addison blinked at her and rewarded Meredith with a brilliant smile. It made Meredith's heart seize in her chest. "I'm not just an experiment am I?" Meredith asked suddenly, remembering what Derek had said.

"What?" Addison spluttered. "Is that what he told you?" Addison added, sounding outraged.

Meredith blushed and turned away. "Yes." She whispered, determined to be honest with this woman.

"You're no an experiment, Meredith. What was between Derek and me and what went wrong there, has no bearing on you and me. It's like comparing apples to alligators." Addison said, exasperation colouring her tone.

Meredith laughed at the comparison. "Yeah, I know." She finally said.

She had known even as Derek had said the cruel words to her, and before she asked Addison right now. But once a decade Meredith was entitled to be needy, and clingy so she had asked anyway.

"We need to try to get some sleep, you're exhausted." Addison finally said, easing away from Meredith and standing up.

"Come on lazybones. Teeth brushing time. I will find you something to wear." Addison prompted and Meredith groaned before reluctantly agreeing to get out of the bed and comply with Addison's wishes.

They did make sense, after all.

* * *

**Chapter 27**

Ten minutes later and Meredith was back in bed, wearing a borrowed tee shirt and borrowed panties. Addison had insisted and Meredith was touched at the trust and intimacy in the gesture. Addison for her part had slipped into something silky and was now slipping into the bed beside Meredith.

For her own part, Meredith was feeling invigorated and warm and cared for. Addison had been perfect since the moment Meredith had arrived. It felt so good to be cared for and Addison seemed to be happy to do just that.

It was a new sensation for Meredith, the lack of conditions to receiving attention.

Addison rolled over in the bed and looked at Meredith for a long moment. "You okay now?" She asked, running a delicate finger down Meredith's side.

Something began to burn inside of Meredith at the simple touch.

"Yes. Thank you." Meredith replied, bringing her own hand up to touch the side of Addison's face before she curled her fingers behind Addison's head and pulled her closer.

"Kiss me." Meredith demanded softly.

Addison's eyes sparkled as she smiled at Meredith's request. "Well, since you asked so nicely." She whispered before leaning in and kissing Meredith.

It was a hungry kiss, but it was also incredibly gentle and Meredith felt herself pulled into an embrace that felt safe and right and she lost herself in the moment. When Addison moaned into the kiss, Meredith felt something break free inside of herself. She wanted Addison, more than she had ever wanted anything or anyone before in her life.

And now she had her. Meredith was finally free to do as she wanted and this was what she wanted.

When they parted, both of them were panting for breath and Meredith closed her eyes, running her hands along the silky material of the nightgown that Addison had on and tried to regain a semblance of control. "Is this our third date?" She finally asked.

"Third date?" Addison replied, kissing along Meredith's jaw line.

It was becoming hard to think.

"Yes." Meredith managed as she slid her hands under a silky strap and considered her next move.

It all depended on Addison.

"I'd say this qualifies as a date." Addison murmured and kissed lower still, reaching Meredith's neck.

All bets were off now. Meredith slid a strap off Addison's shoulder and moved her hand along the perfect skin that her fingers encountered. Addison was so soft, so warm, so very beautiful.

It made Meredith's heart soar to be able to touch her and with that in mind, Meredith rolled them over so that she was laying on top of Addison, looking down at her in the oblique lighting of the room. It was breathtaking.

Addison was not content to simply be looked at though and Meredith felt an impatient pull on the edge of the shirt that she was wearing. Taking the hint, Meredith slipped it over her head and then leaned down to kiss Addison again, this time the kiss was not so gentle.

Meredith could feel herself soak her borrowed panties as they kissed. Lips, teeth, tongue; heat and desire. All infused in the kiss. It was fantastic.

Heat burned in Meredith's body as Addison ran her hands along the bare skin of Meredith's back and sides. It was suddenly very hot and Addison was very much too dressed. One of those things Meredith could do something about.

Gasping as they pulled apart, Meredith snuck her hands under the edge of the silky shift and urged Addison upwards, easily pulling the garment off before lowering them both to the bed again.

"Oh my God." Meredith said shakily, forgetting how to breathe for a moment.

The sensation of naked skin on naked skin. Meredith was certain she was going to faint. She had never felt such softness before, it was like she could feel everything all at once and it was good. Leaning down she kissed Addison's face, before moving to her neck and discovering her new favourite thing.

Kissing anywhere on Addison.

Strong hands gripped her hair as Meredith moved lower, lavishing the pale skin on Addison's chest with her mouth and moving her hands to touch perfect, pert breasts that seemed to be begging for her attention. Addison arched under her, undulating as Meredith feasted.

Already she knew that she would never get enough of this.

Just one sip, one touch, and she was addicted.

"Beautiful." Meredith murmured as her mouth travelled lower and the desire to taste what her hands had just been feeling became overwhelming.

Addison moaned from somewhere above her and Meredith felt absurdly pleased that she had reduced the other woman to incoherence already.

Never mind that now, though. Meredith wanted to taste and to touch. Thinking and talking could occur another time. It was time to put Callie's advice and Cristina's anatomy lessons to use.

"Jesus!" Addison gasped loudly.

Meredith mentally stuttered as her mouth snagged one of the proud nipples that capped Addison's breasts. She almost lost a chunk of hair as Addison reacted, sitting up in the bed and gasping.

It seemed that Satan had found religion.

Delicious did not even begin to describe how it felt to be giving Addison this pleasure though, or how the other woman's nipples and breasts felt under her mouth and hands.

Nothing in Meredith's past experience could even begin to prepare her for this.

* * *

"Come here." Addison whispered, tugging on Meredith and Meredith complied, moving her way up the luxurious body she had been exploring with delight.

Addison pulled on her and brought their mouths together for a kiss and Meredith could feel the fire in the redhead as she dig her fingers into Meredith's back. "I want you." Addison said this into Meredith's mouth and it was akin to throwing oil onto an open flame.

Meredith reared up and brought herself up to straddle Addison's waist, grabbing the other woman's hands and dragging them up her body. "Then have me." Meredith barely recognised her own voice as she spoke.

"Have me." Meredith almost sobbed with passion and let her head droop forward as those hands began to explore, touch, caress.

They moved down, pausing at the waistband of the panties that Meredith still wore before a nimble finger slid under the edge. "Take these off." Addison ordered gently and Meredith hastened to comply.

As she wiggled out of the silky cloth, she could feel that her inner thighs were wet, had she ever been this aroused before in her life?

Addison pulled her back down and kissed her again, running her hands down Meredith's sides to cup her ass. Right now Meredith was speculating that perhaps she could have an orgasm without any further stimulation even.

Feeling Addison surge under her, Meredith felt the world tilt and then she was laying under Addison. Just like that. The redhead looked at her wildly and Meredith swallowed hard. Addison looked like she wanted to eat Meredith alive and Meredith realised that she would happily be eaten alive if that was the case.

Thought ceased though, when Meredith felt a hand trail along her leg and then dip between her legs. Addison moaned openly at the discovery of how wet Meredith was and Meredith heard herself make a sound that she did not know she was even capable of making.

"May I?" Addison asked, her voice a mere husk of its previous self.

"Yes." Meredith moaned, pulling Addison down for a kiss as she felt first one and then a second finger slide into her.

"Oh." Meredith managed to articulate, overwhelmed completely by the moment and by Addison.

Addison sagged against her and Meredith could feel her own body coil and move in anticipation of pleasure she was sure was going to blow her mind. There was no fumbling and Addison seemed to know exactly what she was doing. She was driven, intense and completely focused on Meredith. It was intoxicating and Meredith was lost in a sea of sensation. She could not tell where she ended and Addison began and then suddenly she was coming. Oh my, her orgasm had snuck up on her and it seemed that Addison was also surprised by it.

Time held still for long moments as Meredith had her world tilted on its axis and pleasure so intense it almost hurt thundered over her skin, bones and nerves. Addison was moaning directly into Meredith's ear and the audible proof that Addison was enjoying this as well just made Meredith feel like she was going to lose her mind.

Finally, time started moving again and Meredith lay gasping under Addison, completely wiped out, shocked and elated at the same time.

"You have very good hands, Doctor Montgomery." Meredith managed to wheeze out after some time had passed.

That was a possible benefit of dating a surgeon that Meredith had not considered before, good hands. "Just wait until you see what my mouth can do." Addison said breathlessly into Meredith's ear.

The words reminded Meredith that Addison was probably half mad with pent up sexual need by now and Meredith was suddenly desperate to fulfil that need. She had to know, had to. She needed to know what it was to give Addison pleasure and she would know this, just as soon as she had caught her breath for another minute or so.

Addison for her part seemed to be restlessly content to wrap herself around Meredith and experience the moment. She had yet to remove her hand and Meredith could still feel those fingers deep inside her own body. The thought stirred something in Meredith and she had a sudden insight that there was no recovery period with a woman. They could go all night, if they so desired.

The idea made Meredith burn even hotter, but right now she had another fire to put out and that fire was burning inside the woman who was wrapped up in Meredith's arms and body right now.

Meredith peeled Addison away from her shoulder and looked into the beloved face that was so close to her own. Addison looked wild and untamed and Meredith suddenly wanted to ravage her. The thought brought renewed energy to her muscles and with that Meredith adjusted her position minutely before she slid one of her hands down along her own body in seek of Addison's.

The redhead seemed to come alive when she felt Meredith's questing hand moving and then she gently, so gently removed her fingers from Meredith. The action caused all the nerves in Meredith's body to jump in pleasant symphony. Yes indeed, this would take a while.

Presently though, Addison had risen to a seated position, straddling Meredith and looked down through hooded eyes. Meredith ran her hands up Addison's sides and then down Addison's front. Meredith could feel how wet Addison was and she was desperate to touch the other woman. Addison seemed to sense her intent and lifted her hips slightly, allowing Meredith access and in another moment Meredith felt her fingers engulfed by heat and by Addison.

It was indescribable and it took Meredith a long moment to realise that she was laying still and slack jawed in reaction. However, time waited for no one and Meredith was on a mission. Satan would find God tonight, several times, if Meredith had anything to say about it.

Rising to a seated position so that Addison was straddling her lap, Meredith moved her hand experimentally. Her reward was Addison arching in her arms and throwing her head back in a wanton, shameless display of pleasure.

Fuck.

Moving her hand again, Meredith felt Addison adjust and answer the movement with a thrust of her hips and in another moment they were moving in synchronicity. Meredith, having overcome her temporary paralysis, used her free arm to support Addison's back as she leaned in to kiss the long column of Addison's smooth, alabaster neck. One of Addison's hands dug into Meredith's back as the redhead moved.

"Don't stop." Addison hissed, the very picture of hedonism and Meredith resolved then and there that she would never stop.

She had been born for just this moment, watching Addison's body and soul join together at the end of Meredith's fingertips. This was better than any surgery and with that thought, Meredith intensified her movements slightly, curving her fingers deep inside of Addison. She was instantly rewarded when Addison's head snapped up and she looked directly into Meredith's eyes.

"I'm going to come." Addison whispered, her eyes blazing with heat and Meredith shivered at the look.

"Come for me, Addison." Meredith murmured, feeling her hand slip in the sweat that graced Addison's back.

She did. As Meredith watched, Addison's body was transformed into what looked like pure pleasure and Meredith could feel, see, smell and hear, and even taste the orgasm as it washed over Addison. Wetness soaked her hand and dripped down into her legs and then Addison was still, though gasping for air as she clung to Meredith and attempted to regain her equilibrium.

Minutes, or moments, or lifetimes later, Meredith gently eased Addison back to a supine position and pulled the blankets over them. "Oh my God, Meredith." Addison managed to say as she cuddled into Meredith.

Wrapping herself around the redhead, Meredith smiled and ran her finger along the aristocratic nose that graced Addison's face. "You're beautiful." Meredith whispered, wanting to tell Addison that she loved her but finding that she was still unable to for some reason.

Addison blushed prettily before she leaned in and kissed Meredith gently, reminding her that she could easily go again, and again, and again if she wanted to. "You're fantastic." Addison whispered and Meredith felt warm and cared for, and she also felt safe.

"What?" Meredith asked, sensing that Addison had something else to say.

The other woman sighed and then smiled and pulled Meredith close. "Tell you later." She murmured into Meredith's hair and Meredith felt a deep joy in her heart at the words.

This was what she bad been born to do. This, right here, right now.

Meredith reflected that this sex, the first she had experienced with a woman, easily surpassed any other sex that she had experienced before and then Meredith almost swooned when she realised that this was just the beginning.

Oh my.

There was so much that Meredith wanted to try and to do with Addison. She wanted it all with Addison.

She wanted it all.

* * *

**Chapter 28**

Sometime later Meredith woke up tangled up in Addison and sheets. They had succumbed to post-coital bliss and dozed off sometime after everything had settled down and now Meredith was wide awake again.

She felt warm, sated, and she could feel the echo in her body of what had happened scant hours ago. Despite her own relative inexperience and the unknown factor of what Addison's sexual background may contain, Meredith determined that this first time between them had been a resounding success.

Meredith also speculated that in her entire sexual history, she had never waited so long, or had been wooed so long before any relationship, be it a one night stand type of thing, or a more long standing thing, had been consummated. She wondered if that had enhanced this experience; Addison and her getting to know each other and taking their time before falling in bed.

Possibly.

Moving slightly, Meredith became aware of her aching right hand and glanced at her palm. The tidy bandage that Addison had but over her cut was still there and Meredith speculated that it was just the delicate structures of the hand that were protesting the abuse she had put them through.

She would need to get another pager from Bailey and come up with some suitable reason as to why exactly her old one was broken. Thankfully Bailey was not an uptight tightwad about stuff like that. Provided you did not come to her every week or every month needing a new pager or some other hospital provided thing, and you had not damaged the old one by drunkenly dropping the old one in the toilet, she was very cool about issuing new stuff.

Addison was beginning to stir and the movement of sheets and skin against Meredith's body caused a flare-up of Meredith's libido that was quite shockingly strong. Unused to the sensation of having all of her nerves stand at attention at the same time, Meredith rolled over and looked at Addison who was now awake and looking at Meredith with bright, alert eyes.

"Hi." Addison said simply, a sweet smile gracing her face and Meredith felt the coil of arousal stir in her lower abdomen at the sight of those kiss-bruised lips.

"Hi." Meredith offered and bright up a hand to touch Addison's face.

She wanted Addison and she wanted her badly, the night before had not even begun to satisfy her desire. If nothing else it had fed a whole host of new fires within her and now that Meredith knew what she could have, she wanted more, and more, and then some.

"What are you thinking about?" Addison asked, pulling Meredith closer to herself.

"You." Meredith replied, feeling her skin ignite from the increased contact with Addison's body.

"Me what?" Addison queried, brushing her lips against Meredith's throat.

"I want you." Meredith breathed, arching into Addison's body and giving herself over to sensation.

"You have me." Addison growled, rolling them over so that Meredith was on the bottom of their naked pile.

"Do I?" Meredith teased, pulling Addison close to herself and revelling in the sensation of skin on skin as her own body became a molten pool of desire that Meredith was fast losing track of how to control.

"Yes, you do." Addison intoned, delicately touching Meredith's lips with her fingers.

Meredith pulled Addison down into a kiss, revelling in the taste of her mouth and in the weight of her body as Addison's arms gave out and they were crushed together by gravity. It was heaven and Meredith could feel her entire body keen in anticipation of pleasure and of intimacy she knew could be, and would be hers in just the blink of an eye.

Addison seemed to have designs of a similar nature and as Meredith became increasingly paralysed by pleasure, Addison began a trek down Meredith's body. That hot, cool mouth kissed and licked and those wicked, wonderful hands touched and Meredith was lost; she was out of her mind, actually.

How has she missed this for her whole life? Maybe she had been waiting for just this moment, unaware until it occurred that it could happen at all.

Curling her fingers in luscious red hair, Meredith arched into Addison's mouth as it arrived at her navel and teased the sensitive skin there. Addison ran her tongue along the feint scar that graced Meredith's abdomen where her earlier liver surgery had left it's mark. The hypersensitive tissue started a riot of reaction in Meredith's body and Addison hissed in sympathetic response.

That was another thing that was so unique and extraordinary about this...

The feedback loop of pleasure and sensation that seemed to form between them. Meredith was divided as to if her own orgasm before, or if Addison's orgasm, had actually felt better. After some thought she decided it did not matter; what mattered was the right now and right now Addison was kissing past her hipbones and going south of the border as it was.

"Are you okay with this?" Addison asked softly, looking up at Meredith with soulful eyes.

Meredith rose up on her elbows and looked down at Addison. Her breathing was heavy as she saw the beautiful vista laid out before her in the early morning light. Addison was naked, splayed across Meredith's legs and it was glorious. Her hair was in a well-fucked mess and she looked hungry. She actually looked like she would suffer malnutrition in a few moments if Meredith did not provide her with the feast that she seemed to crave.

"Yes." Meredith managed, allowing her head to loll back in anticipation of something she only had limited experience with.

The kiss bruised mouth that she had been admiring only moments before moved lower, and then lower still before it hesitated along the neatly trimmed hairs at Meredith's panty line. It made Meredith consider that this was new for Addison as well, not that it really mattered.

They would learn together, regardless.

At the first hesitant touch of Addison's mouth against Meredith's hypersensitive flesh was electric. Meredith twitched away, digging her heels into the bed and gasping.

"Okay?" Addison asked, her voice rough.

"Yes." Meredith managed to gasp breathlessly, bracing herself as Addison moved to touch her again, this time with much less hesitation.

Meredith suddenly had images of ice cream enter her head and had to stop herself from laughing out loud at the image. Then laughter became the furthest thing from her mind as Addison's mouth slid lower to cover Meredith more fully.

"Oh, fuck!" Meredith exclaimed in ecstatic surprise and Addison moaned against her in harmonic reaction.

"Jesus." Meredith continued her obscene and religious tirade, feeling herself move to get closer to Addison.

The redhead's hesitant, light touch became more confident as Meredith reacted so fully to her and after another handful of heartbeats had passed, Meredith felt that coveted mouth press into her fully.

Addison curled her arms around Meredith's thighs, obviously intent on holding her still enough to actually not lose her place as Meredith jumped and twitched in reaction.

Was it possible for something to feel this good?

Apparently it was.

The precipice of pleasure rushed up to meet Meredith and in just seconds she was coming, her orgasm washing over her in a delightful shock that shook her to her core.

Oh wow.

It was such a complete surprise and Meredith could only gasp as she lay on the bed and felt her blood sing in her veins. Addison for her part was crawling up Meredith's body and whispering something that Meredith could not hear, or simply could not process.

It was only when Addison came closer that Meredith heard what she said. "Oh my God, Meredith. Oh my God." The hot, delighted refrain burned itself into Meredith's hyper-stimulated id.

She had to have Addison. Now.

She had to know exactly how it felt to do this same thing to Addison and she had to know now. Right now. Now. Now. Now.

Kissing Addison without reserve and tasting herself on the redhead's lips, Meredith could feel her own skin seem to catch flam with anticipation and excitement. She had managed to practise on one ice cream cone and she was a damn fine surgeon. She could figure out how to do this and even if she fumbled, she'd be fine.

She had to know, though. She had to know what it felt like, tasted like, was like, to do this to Addison, and she had to know now. Right away. Now!

Without further preamble, Meredith flipped Addison over so that she was laying on her back once more and Meredith dragged her mouth down Addison's flushed, slightly sweat damp skin. So delicious. Meredith speculated that she could spend all day, all week, in fact she knew that she could the rest of her life doing just this.

Now was not the time to spend too much time philosophising though, she had something she wanted to do and by the looks of it, Addison was just as desperate for Meredith to do this as well.

It was time.

* * *

Addison was gorgeous, perfect, sexy and Meredith only hoped that she could do justice to what she was about to attempt. Failure was not an option. Meredith did hope that some fumbling was allowed though. Addison arched under Meredith as Meredith kissed her neck, sucking on the pulse that was hammering frantically as it broadcast Addison's over excited state.

Strong hands gripped Meredith's head and held her in place and as Meredith adjusted her position, her knee slipped between Addison's legs. Oh my, Addison was wet and the feel of it erased Meredith's mind in an instant. All thought stopped, now there was only the intent to give pleasure. Nothing else.

By now, Addison was writhing under Meredith, pulling and pushing at the same time and Meredith could feel the burning hot skin under her fingers.

She did not want to wait anymore. Moving down, Meredith did not pause to do more than kiss Addison's breasts briefly before she went lower, and lower still. The fine peak of a hipbone tempted her and Meredith ran the edge of her teeth along the hard bone as it rested under Addison's velvet soft skin.

When Addison jumped in reaction, Meredith took time to soothe the skin with her mouth, sucking on the sensitive area just in front of the hipbone and making Addison squirm in reaction.

"Meredith." Addison managed to say in a voice that was barely more than a low whisper.

It was obvious that Addison was far gone and Meredith could not wait to see the redhead lose her mind. Hopefully Meredith would be up to the task. She was a surgeon, doing new things came with the territory. Addison had finely trimmed hair at the apex of her legs and Meredith found herself fascinated as she made her approach.

Brushing her fingers through territory that her hands were getting to know, Meredith marvelled at the texture. Addison reacted beautifully to Meredith, pushing her pubic mound up against Meredith's palm and gasping for breath as the pressure of pleasure made its presence known in the most delicious way.

Leaning down, Meredith kissed the area just above her eventual destination, inhaling the heady aroma of Addison's intense arousal. The complex scent burned itself into Meredith's brain and without thought, Meredith slid her fingers through the slick folds of Addison's molten centre. The now familiar sensation of heat and arousal on her fingers made Meredith lick her lips.

She wanted this.

Moving lower, Meredith situated herself between Addison's legs and looked up at her lover. Addison was splayed out and breathing deeply and evenly, her hands grabbing at the sheets and it was beautiful. Meredith could feel her own wetness soak the sheet under her body as she looked back at the task at hand.

The organic origami in front of her glistened with moisture and Meredith could see the swollen flesh was more than ready for her. Was Meredith ready for it, though? There was only one way to find out. Leaning forward, Meredith kissed the delicate lips gently and Addison surged upwards, moaning in earnest now.

The flavour that infused itself onto Meredith's palate was instantly intoxicating, Meredith had to have more and realising that Addison was almost out of her mind with arousal, Meredith leaned in more fully, gently covering the whole area with her mouth, moving her lips and tongue with a confidence she did not feel, but wanted to possess.

Addison arched off the bed and grabbed at Meredith's shoulders, pulling on her, pulling her in closer. Whatever doubts about her performance that Meredith may have had vanished in the blink of an eye. Addison wanted her, Addison was turned on by her and Addison's pleasure was all that mattered to Meredith right now.

Moving her mouth lower, Meredith experimentally slid her tongue into Addison. "Oh, fuck!" Addison exclaimed, her voice a wail of pleasure.

_Oh fuck indeed._

Meredith pushed her mouth and tongue closer and deeper and felt strong thighs tighten around her head.

It occurred to Meredith that she needed to breathe, but she did not want to stop. Callie had not mentioned anything about needing a snorkel, so there had to be a technique to this, unless lesbians breathed through the tops of their heads like dolphins or something.

Maybe Meredith would evolve this ability?

Adjusting in an attempt to break the hermetic seal around her face and mouth, Meredith could feel Addison begin to shake. Not wanting to die before she witnessed and experienced Addison's orgasm, not to mention tasted it, Meredith finally managed to draw in a huge breath of air from the side of her mouth and then plunged back into her delicious task in earnest.

Addison grabbed Meredith's head and held her still, undulating under Meredith's mouth and even through her thigh-shaped earmuffs, Meredith could hear her lover sob with pleasure as the flood of wetness that signalled Addison's pleasure washed over Meredith's tongue and chin and into the mattress bellow her.

_Oh, wow._

Meredith was stunned. This was beyond words.

Jesus Christ!

Feeling Addison pull her away, Meredith rested her head on a smooth thigh and tried to catch her breath, oblivious to anything else except this moment right now. Meredith's whole body throbbed in sympathetic pleasure and she felt like she would come with just a touch now.

She felt like leaning down and making love to Addison with her mouth again.

She would never get enough of this. Never.

Oh, wow.

* * *

Eventually Meredith gathered her wits and her strength and crawled up Addison's body, with her goal being hold Addison and never let go. When Meredith arrived at her goal she grabbed a blankets and sheets and made a fair job of covering the both of them somewhat haphazardly.

Addison was being awfully quiet.

Concerned, Meredith rolled Addison over and felt her heart plummet. Addison was crying.

"Hey." Meredith whispered, wiping at the tears that were glistening on the other woman's face.

"Addison." Meredith tried again, pulling her lover into an embrace.

Why was the other woman crying?

"It's okay." Meredith whispered, kissing Addison's hairline and feeling Addison's hot tears on her own skin.

"Why are you crying?" Meredith asked the space above Addison's head, hoping for an answer.

"You make me happy." Addison mumbled against Meredith's breasts.

Normally Meredith would have twitched with laughter, as it ticked, or she would have felt aroused, as it felt good, but right now she just felt bewildered. "Oh." She managed to say and organised the blankets a little better.

"Oh?" Addison queried, her voice laced with laughter.

"Well, you are crying." Meredith offered.

"Good tears, Meredith. This is not a bad thing and I am pretty sure I have never done it before." Addison eventually said, running one of her hands down Meredith's side.

Whatever Meredith was going to say disappeared with the return of the memory that she was completely aroused from having made love to Addison. Shifting, Meredith tried to calm down. Now was not the time.

"Meredith." Addison whispered into one of Meredith's ears and her hot breath against the sensitive shell of it, made Meredith squirm.

Trying to calm down was proving to be impossible.

Addison moved to kiss the space below Meredith's ear and Meredith lost it completely. "Oh God." She moaned, feeling her blood come alive once more.

Moaning in response, Addison continued her ministrations as she pulled up Meredith's left leg and draped it over her own hip. Meredith was beyond turned one now and when Addison reached between their bodies and slid a pair of her fingers into Meredith it felt so good it caused Meredith to bite down on the freckled shoulder that her head was resting on.

Her lover hissed in reaction and thrust deeper, harder, driving Meredith to the brink of insanity. Meredith huffed with each thrust and felt the orgasm building inside of her build as her body was suffused with pleasure. "Don't stop." Meredith ground out, moving her hips to meet Addison's hand and feeling the last vestiges of control disappear as orgasm overwhelmed her.

"So beautiful." Addison moaned into Meredith's ear as Meredith moved through her own exquisite pleasure.

Eventually they stilled and lay unmoving, breathing hard.

This was unbelievable.

Meredith groaned and then laughed as she sagged into Addison. "We're never going to be able to get out of this bed you know." She murmured and she could feel Addison chuckle in reaction to her words.

"Suits me." Addison replied and Meredith jumped as Addison gently pulled her fingers out of Meredith.

"Me too." Meredith said after a beat.

_It suited her very well indeed._

* * *

**Chapter 29**

Eventually Meredith needing to get to work meant that they had to get out of bed. The rest of the morning had been spent in gentle repose, touching, laughing, and generally being so relaxed and content that Meredith could scarcely remember ever before being so at ease during a first morning after.

"Meredith, if you get into the shower with me, you're going to be very late for work." Addison said primly with a wicked gleam in her eye.

Laughing, Meredith decided that her lover was probably correct and with a quick kiss to Addison's flawless cheek, Meredith retreated from the bathroom and started to think about coffee and breakfast. Addison had told her to make herself at home and to order something so they would not have to leave the safety of the hotel room until the last moment. It was clear that Addison wanted to extend the magic of this first time as much as Meredith did.

There would be other times, many of them, but there would only ever be one first time.

Meredith pulled a robe around her and as the air moved around her body she decided that she really had to get a shower before room service showed up; she smelled of sex and she was confidently certain that her hair had the _just fucked_ look to the point of it qualifying as a picture in the dictionary next to the term itself.

"You better get into the shower, I don't want us to have to rush through breakfast." Addison said as she stepped out of the bathroom, her body barely concealed by the robe that she wore untied around her waist.

Heat flooded Meredith at the sight of those pale, long legs and at the hints of shadows and curves that the robe displayed and concealed at the same time. Meredith felt the pair of pants she had been holding fall from her slack fingers as her body was suffused by hunger she barely knew what to do with and that was completely new.

"Meredith." Addison said, a dangerous lilt to her tone.

It was seductive and Meredith swallowed hard.

"If you keep looking at me like that, we are not getting out of this room today." Addison growled and as Meredith watched, the redhead scrubbed her hands through damp hair and messed up her somewhat coiffed look.

It was intoxicating and Meredith was having a hard time breathing.

Maybe she could have just one touch, just one more?

Moving towards Addison she watched as her lover tried to think of a way to evade her and then watched as Addison surrendered her self control to the moment. Stopping in front of the redhead, Meredith slipped a hand into the robe that was barely concealing Addison's body.

"I want you." Meredith said clearly, feeling her body sing with sensation.

Addison's eyes closed at the words and Meredith watched with fascination as Addison's head fell forward and at the sight, Meredith slid her other hand into the robe and pulling the other woman forward.

"Let me have you." Meredith whispered into the perfect shell of Addison's ear.

"Let me." Meredith whispered again, and eased Addison back until the other woman was abutting the small table that stood by the window.

When Addison opened her eyes and looked directly at Meredith there was a fire in them that burned Meredith.

"I've never felt this way about anyone before." Addison managed to say, her voice a bare shadow of its normal self.

"Tell me." Meredith coaxed as she ran one of her hands along the perfect slope of Addison's side.

"I don't feel like I have any control over my reactions to you." Addison explained while Meredith moved the robe that her lover was wearing out of the way.

"Oh?" Meredith inquired, hoping that Addison would continue.

"I am scared by it." Addison said, her voice breathless while Meredith kissed down her front.

"You are safe with me, Addison. I am not going to break your heart." Meredith murmured as she knelt onto the soft carpet that graced the floor of the hotel room and eased Addison's legs apart.

"You can't promise that, Meredith." Addison moaned as Meredith brought her mouth to kiss a soft inner thigh.

"I can't promise you anything, but I do know when I am being sincere." Meredith extrapolated before she moved her mouth to kiss Addison gently.

A muted _oh_ was her reward and a moment later long fingers curled themselves into Meredith's hair and Addison pushed herself up so increase the contact with Meredith's mouth. "I know." Addison offered from above.

Meredith for her part put the lessons learned from before to good use, remembering what Addison had reacted and what had made the redhead squirm. Adjusting her balance, Meredith ran one of her hands through the fine hairs just above her questing mouth before sliding it down further and a moment later, Meredith slid a finger and then two into Addison, who by now was panting from somewhere higher up.

"Oh my God, Meredith." The husky edge to Addison's voice drove Meredith wild.

Moving her hand with purpose and attempting to synchronise it with her tongue, it was only moments before Addison was coming, splayed out on the table as the morning sunlight glinted through unopened curtains and for long moments Meredith soared on the knowledge that she, and she alone had instigated this feeling and this pleasure in Addison.

Eventually Addison calmed down and Meredith sat back on her heels, laying her head on Addison's abdomen. "You're safe with me, Addison." Meredith said softly, feeling a lazy hand pet her face and hair.

"I feel safe." Addison eventually hedged as she sat up. "I also feel like I am going to walk funny today." The redhead added with a laugh.

A knock on the door interrupted whatever Meredith was going to say in reply.

"You, shower, now." Addison directed as she stood up and pulled Meredith to her feet.

It was probably a good idea.

Quickly Meredith made her way to the bathroom and a moment later she was standing under the hot spray of the fancy shower cubicle that graced the space. The air around her smelled like water, and sex and Addison's shampoo. It was good, so very good and Meredith leaned against the wall for a long moment just to savour the perfect sensation that this morning had brought with it.

Forty-five minutes later, Meredith pulled into the hospital parking lot with Addison in tow, and her broken pager in her bag. She was walking funny and had a silly smile on her face. Addison for her part had leaned against Meredith's shoulder for the whole drive into work and now as they sat for a long moment in the car before they needed to get out and get going, Addison leaned in and kissed Meredith on the mouth.

"Be good." Addison murmured and Meredith smiled.

"You too." She whispered and then hefted her things and got ready to face the day.

* * *

Walking into the hospital with Addison on this first day that they were truly lovers was something that Meredith was sure she would not forget anytime soon. Somehow it just felt different, new, unique.

All around her the people were familiar and everything was the same, but Meredith herself was different. She was different like she had never been before.

"Derek." Meredith said just loudly enough for Addison to hear.

Her lover immediately tensed beside her and Meredith fought the urge to turn on a time and go in the opposite direction.

"You've got some nerve coming in here today like this." Derek said without preamble.

"Why? It's the way into the hospital." Addison replied smoothly, putting herself half in front of Meredith in a protective gesture that almost made Meredith feel like she should swoon.

"Very noble, Addison. Did she come running to you last night after I had finished with her?" Derek asked, fury colouring his voice.

"You mean after you assaulted her, right?" Addison said in a low, dangerous voice.

"Is that what she told you?" Derek asked, looking at Meredith who was watching the exchange with fascination.

"No, you pathetic idiot, this is what told me." Addison replied, gently taking one of Meredith's hands in her own and exposing the bruised wrist that the sleeve of Meredith's coat hid.

Derek's face took on an ugly look before he sneered at both of them.

"She likes it rough." He offered, seeming awfully pleased with himself at the words.

"Actually, Derek, I know what Meredith likes, and it's not you, and it's not rough." Addison said with a note of triumph in her tone as she spoke.

_Oh my, low blow._ Meredith thought and she seriously wanted to laugh out loud, but it would not do to interrupt Addison's coup d'état.

"Bitch." Derek growled, obviously instantly understanding what Addison meant.

"Well, Derek, I am the bitch in this hospital now, so you're just going to have to deal with it, aren't you?" Addison said sweetly.

"You think I'll let you work here after this?" Derek spluttered.

"Don't be a megalomaniac, Derek _darling_. It's just not becoming. I have a contract and there is nothing you can do about it. My supposed indiscretions are trivial by comparison to yours, so don't even start." Addison brushed him off easily.

He scowled and clenched his fists. "Don't think this is over with." He hissed, obviously intent on pursuing this further.

"Oh, but it is. If you touch her, do anything to her. If you make her cry, or upset her, ever again, Derek, you will regret it." Addison got right into Derek's face as she said this. "You know that I can make you pay, Derek. Don't try me." Addison finished off before she stepped back and guided Meredith away.

"Have a sparkling morning." Addison said cheerily and neatly sidestepped Derek and walked them into the hospital.

_Wow._ Meredith had never seen such a display before and all for her own benefit. Addison had acted like Meredith's very own knight in shining navy blue scrubs. Wow.

"He's not going to let it go." Addison said as they stood waiting for the elevator.

"I'll be ready. I'll also page you so you can come and kick his ass for me." Meredith said happily.

"Done." Addison said and breezed into the elevator which was empty when the doors closed.

Meredith felt herself being grabbed and pressed against the elevator wall and before she could react, Addison was kissing her with one of those wanton, hot, _fuck me with your mouth_ , kisses that made Meredith see stars and turned her knees to water.

Oh holy shit.

Meredith tried to fumble for the emergency stop button but missed it as Addison ravished her. The elevator dinged, announcing its arrival at a floor and Meredith and Addison separated, somewhat dishevelled to say the least.

When a group of nurses entered the elevator, Meredith was thankful that they were mostly being ignored. She was uncertain as to just how open or out she wanted to be right now in the hospital. After all, she and Derek had only broken up finally mere hours ago.

How would this look?

Meredith did not have time to think about it though as now they needed to get to work. A final long glance at Addison and Meredith had the sudden urge to grab the redhead and drag her off to the nearest On Call room. Maybe later. Addison smiled and Meredith could tell that the feeling was more than mutual.

Delicious.

As Meredith made her way to the Resident's Lounge she decided that the first order of business for the day would be to find Cristina. ASAP.

* * *

"Well?" Cristina asked as Meredith bribed her to be still for a little while with some coffee.

"Oh my God. You should try a more Sapphic menu." Meredith blurted, her body still burning from the memory of the previous night and of this morning.

"Are you going to give me details, because I might want to eat later." Cristina said, a look of mock horror on her face.

Meredith nudged her friend, knowing she was mostly joking and it felt good. "You couldn't handle the details." Meredith teased knowing that it would needle Cristina and eventually her friend might actually ask for details.

"I should have taken you with me to see Derek." Meredith murmured as she sipped her coffee.

"That bad?" Cristina's voice was void of all joking now.

"Worse." Meredith extrapolated vaguely.

"I'll see about arranging an unfortunate accident for him later." Cristina was kidding of course, but it still felt good that she had someone in her corner who would not defect to the other side.

Meredith needed someone in her corner, and now she had Addison, and Callie, and it seemed she had Bailey, and of course, she had Cristina as well.

"I gotta go, if I am going to put strychnine in McAss' Kool-Aid I have got to get busy." Cristina murmured, rising to her feet and imperiously handing Meredith her empty cup.

Meredith laughed as she watched her friend wander down the hallway.

Hopefully the rest of her encounters during the day would be just as pleasant. She and Addison had not discussed yet how open they wanted to be, or planned to be in the hospital but for now Meredith wanted to keep this to herself. She did not know how to come out, or if she needed to come out, or if she was now considered a lesbian, or what?

Surely there was some manual someplace she could consult on the matter?

Maybe Callie would have some insight, though as Meredith understood it, the brunette Orthopedist had come to accept her newfound sexuality by having Mark Sloan be her litmus test. Meredith had no such plans with the Plastic Surgeon, or anyone else for that matter.

But this did solve the matter of it being simply a question of time before the whole hospital knew.

What could she do?

She needed to talk with Addison about it.

Meredith shook her head and marched off to find her Attending for the day. Doctor Jim Nelson, aka Shadow Shepherd.

She was looking forward to working with the man, she liked him and he was very peaceful to be around and an excellent teacher, but it meant that there was a greatly increased possibility of her having another confrontation with Derek sooner rather than later.

Well, Meredith Grey was not a quitter, so she would deal with this along with anything else that came her way today.

Hopefully Addison Montgomery near an On Call room came her way today. Meredith could already feel the coiled heat in her lower abdomen move and expand as she thought about her lover.

Her lover.

It sounded good.

Was Addison also her girlfriend? The nomenclature of this relationship was still somewhat vague to Meredith. She really needed access to the lesbian manual if such a thing existed.

Maybe google could help?

Laughing to herself Meredith found Jim Nelson waiting for her with a small smile on his nondescript, bespectacled face and she hurriedly thrust aside her thoughts to focus on work, at least for the next little while.

Addison and the scientific process of naming a relationship could wait until lunch.

Unless Meredith came upon the redhead before lunch, that is. The anticipation of that possibility and a potential sojourn in an On Call room was a titillating thought to say the least.

"Did you really think you could avoid me all day?" Derek said from behind her as Meredith stood with Jim Nelson in front of some scans of a patient's brain perhaps half an hour later.

They were doing the pre-op for a patient who needed a drain for excess spinal fluid to run off and Meredith was really looking forward to working with the no-nonsense, non- superstar neurosurgeon in the afternoon.

Turning to meet Derek's eyes, Meredith felt Shadow Shepherd tense up beside her. Maybe the other doctor thought Derek was here to steal yet another of his surgeries. Derek did have a pattern of doing that, much to Meredith's annoyance and she was just a Resident.

"Actually, Chief Shepherd, I am trying to do my job. What can I help you with?" Meredith said with ice lacing her tone.

She was not going to forgive Derek anytime soon for the transgressions of the previous day nor was she going to be giving him the benefit of the doubt for a while still.

"Doctor Nelson, do you mind?" Derek said to the man standing next to Meredith.

"He can stay. We are working." Meredith said pointedly.

Jim Nelson was not a gossip and while Meredith would rather it was Callie or Addison or Cristina standing with her right now, she was more than prepared to accept this particular colleague as her backup if need be.

"Fine." Derek said, obviously not pleased with this development.

Doctor Nelson for his part seemed to have a mixed reaction to this new development. Meredith might have been amused at his double-take except this whole situation was quite serious and not so funny at all.

"Are you seriously telling me that you are willing to throw us away for Addison?" Derek asked without preamble.

Meredith rolled her eyes at him before she slid another scan up on the board and looked it intently. She was supposed to be doing her job, after all.

"And you're telling me, Derek Shepherd, that the ruin of our relationship is all my fault? I did not sleep with Syph Nurse, you know. In fact, until we were over, I did not sleep with Addison either. So don't you go taking any moral high ground with me." Meredith replied pointedly.

Derek had the grace to look ashamed. Well that was something at least.

"So, we are over?" Derek looked uncomfortable, contrite, and confused.

Doctor Nelson was studying the scans as if the meaning of life was to be found in them and Meredith noted that Callie Torres was walking up behind them and she had a concerned look on her face.

"We are. It's up to you to accept this gracefully, Derek. It can be easy, or it can be hard. The fact is I am in love with Addison Montgomery and that is how it is." Meredith said simply.

Derek's shoulders sagged in a resigned fashion, before he glanced at both Meredith and Doctor Nelson and accurately accessed that this was an argument he not only would not, but that he could not win.

Meredith felt a stab of sympathy for him as he turned to walk away, but only a small stab. She was certain that before this day was done the rumour mill would be chewing her up and spitting her out, so Derek would still have a long way to go to get back into her good graces.

As for when he got back into Addison's good graces, well it would be a long while. Meredith could still clearly remember the expression on Addison's face the night before when the redhead had spied the bruises on Meredith's wrists.

Turning back to the task at hand, Meredith smiled at her Attending doctor. "Thanks for not leaving." She said simply.

The man nodded and then Meredith turned her attention back to work. Whatever else happened it would have to wait until later.

* * *

**Chapter 30**

It was after the surgery that Meredith caught up with Addison again. The redhead caught up with Meredith as she getting ready to go to lunch.

"You okay?" Addison asked as they moved down to the cafeteria together.

"Yes, why?" Meredith asked, confused.

She wanted to grab Addison and kiss her, but right now she was not so comfortable with broadcasting their relationship through the hospital.

"I was talking to Callie earlier, and she said Derek was on your case again." Addison sounded concerned and Meredith was touched deeply.

"I'm fine. I think it is starting to sink in with him, though." Meredith said airily.

"Good." Addison leaned in to give Meredith a kiss on her cheek and Meredith balked slightly.

"I think I want to give him some time to have things sink in before the whole hospital knows about us." Meredith hastily explained at Addison's confused expression.

"Are you having regrets?" Addison sounded so forlorn that Meredith instantly regretted her hesitation.

Spying an On Call room, Meredith hoped it was empty and dragged Addison into it, slamming the door behind them and leaning against it.

"No, I am not having any regrets or second thoughts, Addison. I want you and only you and I am not ashamed of that." Meredith said, pulling Addison towards her and kissing her deeply.

The redhead responded at once, which was making it hard for Meredith to continue her train of thought. When they separated, Meredith gasped for breath and sagged into Addison. "God, I want you." Meredith could feel her body come alive with the proximity of Addison and the kiss they had just shared.

Addison looked at her, all the insecurity gone from her face. The look in her lover's eyes was dark, hungry and wild.

Oh boy.

Meredith did not have time to think before Addison had pinned her against the door and was roughly puling on the waistband of her scrubs and sliding an elegant hand down and past her panties and then into Meredith.

Fuck.

Rising to her toes, Meredith pushed down on those questing fingers and felt herself soak Addison's hand as she lost her mind to pleasure. Moaning into Addison's ear, Meredith grabbed at the white coat her lover wore in an effort to stay upright.

"Fuck me." Meredith hissed into Addison's ear, wanting to feel the other woman go wild.

It worked, Addison pushed her against the door and thrust her fingers almost painfully into Meredith. It was an exquisite agony and Meredith could feel her self control slip an falter as her climax washed over her with crazy intensity.

"Oh, Jesus. Addison." Meredith bit her lip hard as she strove not to broadcast to the whole hallway beyond the door what was going on inside the room.

Addison was gasping in Meredith's ear as they stood frozen and fused together against the door with Meredith's legs pretty much straddling Addison's hand and the aftershocks of Meredith's orgasm tapered off.

Opening her eyes, Meredith looked at Addison. The redhead looked like she was about to explode.

Ah, well. There were ways to fix that.

Deftly Meredith pulled Addison's hand out of her scrubs and then switched their positions, so that Addison was pinned against the door. "Your turn." She whispered and slid down Addison's body to the floor.

Addison wore skirts. What luck. A few moments of careful fumbling and Meredith leaned in and kissed Addison where she was desperate for a kiss. A breathless groan above her made Meredith smile. It was intoxicating to have this power over Addison.

It was better than surgery, hands down.

This was a quickie, though. Meredith pushed her tongue against Addison and then snuck a hand past the knee high stockings that Addison had on and used it to spread Addison open wider. The reaction was instant and Meredith could feel Addison begin to come against her tongue.

The frantic movement of hips against Meredith was mind blowing in its intensity and for long moments Meredith was enraptured by it.

Nothing was better than this.

* * *

"Oops!" Arizona Robbins said as she stepped into the On Call room and found Addison and Meredith washing up and kissing each other, though not necessarily in that order.

"Um." Meredith offered.

Addison just started to giggle.

"So, would you two like to do lunch?" The blonde paediatric surgeon finally managed to say after some more vaguely uncomfortable moments.

"Sure." Addison managed to say and waved Arizona off. "We'll meet you there." She added and thankfully Arizona took the hint and left.

Meredith did not miss the fact that Arizona was about to crack up at their predicament. She'd have her revenge though, someday.

"You know, I was talking to Callie and she says that Addison does not want to have kids." Addison said as they made themselves more presentable.

"Oh? I can't imagine Callie without kids. What will they do?" Meredith answered, deciding that there was no way she was going to get rid of her _just fucked_ look with a small sink and in a short period of time.

"I guess they will work it out, or Callie will find someone who does want kids. I hope they work it out, they make a cute couple." Addison said and then moved towards the door.

"Do you want kids?" Addison asked Meredith rather abruptly.

Blinking slightly at the suddenness of the question Meredith remembered that Addison was not able to have children of her own. "Yes, Addison. I want kids." Meredith said softly.

"I'm glad." Addison replied and stepped towards Meredith and enfolded her in a hug. "I'm very glad." The tall redhead added.

Meredith speculated that Callie and Arizona were probably starting to wonder where they were by now, Meredith gently pulled Addison towards the door and a few moments later they were once more walking towards the cafeteria.

It was easy to spot Callie and Arizona when they arrived. The pair made a distinctive couple and in a few minutes Meredith and Addison managed to join them. From the look on Callie's face she knew exactly what they had been doing just minutes before and she really did look like the cant that swallowed the canary.

"So, I guess eating some ice cream helped?" Callie said to Meredith and Meredith snorted with laughter.

Addison looked at her and raise an eyebrow. Hmm. Maybe Meredith would tell her later what that was about, or maybe not.

"Just look at them." This was Addison's voice and Meredith looked over to where her lover was pointing.

It was a gaggle of nurses which included Syph Nurse, all of whom were looking in her direction. Looking around, Meredith saw universally disapproving looks on the faces of the three doctors she was seated with.

"The one in the middle is who I caught Derek with." Meredith murmured, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"You caught him cheating?" This was Callie's voice and it was laced with ice.

"Yep. Yesterday in fact." Meredith elaborated.

She wanted to make friends with Callie and Arizona. She and Addison would need allies, regardless of how well this went and Meredith also genuinely liked the twosome. Privately she could not imagine why Arizona did not want kids, but it was really none of her business. She did hope, like Addison did, that they would work it out however.

"If only they knew this was the _tuna-melt_ table." Arizona said and both Callie and Addison burst out laughing immediately.

Meredith took a moment longer and then she too was laughing too hard to eat. Ah, the tuna-melt club. How off colour, stereotypical and perfect. Maybe they should make tee shirts? Meredith knew that Cristina would approve, though she would probably not be wearing said tee shirt even if she were to be made an honorary member of the club.

The rest of lunch proceeded smoothly and with the three women looking out for her, Meredith was able to enjoy her overpriced sandwich and get back to work with a spring in her step. It was good to have friends, both old and new.

Best of all it was good to have Addison.

It was the best, actually.

* * *

By evening Meredith was feverish to spend some time alone with Addison, in fact the whole night would be even better actually.

The other woman had declared though that room service could not be eaten by the sane two nights in a row so by the time Meredith got off work, Addison had found a nice little restaurant not far from the hotel for them to have dinner and talk.

"We won't be doing much talking if we go to the hotel room, Meredith." Addison had explained with a smile when Meredith had inquired why they needed a restaurant to talk.

Addison did have a point.

"Do you want me to move to Seattle?" Addison asked as they sat down in a booth in the little Italian restaurant that Addison had taken them to.

"Yes, of course." Meredith said at once before she could even think twice about it.

"You need a place to stay?" She added immediately after almost shocking herself, actually.

"Three dates and we're moving in together?" Addison asked, not sounding displeased by the notion.

"How U-Haul of us." Addison murmured and Meredith laughed.

Google has proven very useful, actually. Meredith actually understood that little quip.

"Well, if we don't move in together, one or the other of our places will be sorely neglected." Meredith mused as she speared a meatball with her fork.

"A valid point." Addison replied.

"We need to redecorate though." The redhead added after a beat.

"Yeah, we do." Meredith felt a bit dumbfounded as to the ease at which this conversation was being conducted.

The same conversation with Derek had been fraught and awkward. Meredith felt none of these things with Addison. "When would you move?" Meredith asked, hoping she did not sound too eager or needy.

"I need to tie off some loose ends in California and pack, and there is someone there you are going to have to accept into your life. I think you'll like him." Addison hedged as she took a sip of her wine and made Meredith jealous of the wineglass.

"Someone?" Meredith asked, wondering what sort of skeleton in the closet Addison was going to bring up.

"What, you're hiding a boyfriend in LA or something?" Meredith tried not to splutter as she spoke.

Meredith resolved to deal with whatever it was like an adult. Somehow.

"Yep. He's very important to me." Addison sounded wistful as she spoke and Meredith felt her guts seize.

"Meredith, calm down. It's my cat, Milo." Addison deadpanned and the giggled like a schoolgirl.

Meredith felt the rubber band of tension in her viscera relax all at once and she glared at Addison. "Sorry, I just had to." Addison snickered and Meredith decided to forgive her, but she also decided that she would get back at Addison at some suitable opportunity.

"You're so bad." Meredith wanted to throw her napkin at Addison.

"Fine, you can bring your pussy with you. I am sure it will love my house." Meredith said primly. "Our house." She amended after a moment.

Addison smiled warmly at her. "I'd also like to show you where I have been living and working and I'd love you to meet my friends as well." Addison sounded almost shy as she said it and Meredith reached over the table to grab her lover's hand.

"It's a date. When do we go on this trip?" Meredith said, eager now to find out more and wanting to do whatever it took to make Addison feel wanted.

She also simply loved the idea of learning more about Addison and well, California was a nice place to visit. It had been a while for Meredith.

"Soon. I need to make some phone calls before I know any sort of doable timeframe." Addison explained with an expressive wave of her hand.

"Okay. Let me know when you know and I will beg, borrow and steal the days off." Meredith assured Addison.

The redhead smiled brilliantly at Meredith and Meredith felt suffused with warmth and happiness.

Derek's words from the day before seemed like a lifetime away now and truth be told, they were a lifetime away.

* * *

It was about three am when Meredith stirred and opened her eyes. She was sleeping in a tangle of Addison and sheets and her body had the lassitude and pleasant ache of someone who had been having lots of very good sex recently.

They had discovered upon arriving back at the hotel the previous night that making love to a woman was something one had an exponential leaning curve about. Meredith already felt much more confident in her abilities and that confidence was enhanced by the fact that Addison responded so readily to her and did not hesitate to show Meredith just how good things felt or just what she wanted.

Meredith had raided her locker for spare toiletries and clothes before she had left work, but she was beginning to speculate that she should back a whole suitcase and leave it in the car. She knew that Addison would come back to Meredith's house, but Meredith also understood that it was a grey area.

Mainly, Meredith needed to change locks, clean out extra junk, banish Derek and her mother from the space, and have an extreme makeover done to the interior and exterior. No structural or plumbing issues were in need of addressing, basically just a fresh coat of paint and modernising the overall nature of the house.

She wanted to do that, and she wanted to do it soon. The hotel was comfortable, but it felt transient and if Addison was going to be moving up to Seattle again, Meredith wanted to be able to provide her with the space she had promised.

Addison would need a study and she would also need a room to call her own, perhaps the two could be combined somehow? She'd need to make some discreet inquiries and maybe when they went to LA she could have some expensive, competent builders and interior designers tear through the house over a long weekend.

It was an exciting thought and Meredith resolved to make some inquiries as soon as it wad practical to do so. She was looking forward to it actually, not only for Addison's sake, but to simply begin La Vita Nuova.

_In that book which is my memory,_

_On the first page of the chapter that is the day when I first met you,_

_Appear the words, 'Here begins a new life'_

Quoting Dante to herself at the Witching Hour? Meredith decided that she was going a little insane, but only in the best way possible.

Addison was awake.

Meredith was uncertain just when the other woman had woken up but she suddenly became aware that her lover was awake.

Lover?

Is that what they were?

"Are we girlfriends?" Meredith asked the woman laying in bed with her who had taken up running her hand lightly along Meredith's side.

It felt so good.

"I don't mind that term." Addison said in a low voice.

"Me either." Meredith replied, gathering Addison close to herself.

"I want to do an extreme makeover of my house. I want it to be our house." Meredith said suddenly.

She had not been planning to broach this subject with Addison just now, but it needed to be discussed and Meredith could not imagine her life without Addison in it so it needed to be discussed now.

"Let me help." Addison was clearly talking about not only ideas, but money as well.

Meredith supposed that if it was going to be Addison's house as well that it was only fair.

"I want a Jacuzzi in the bathroom and a new bed. King sized." Addison continued after a beat.

"Alright." Meredith acquiesced easily.

It was important. And she wanted a new bed as well, since they were going to be banishing ghosts after all.

"With strong springs. We might wear the mattress out otherwise." Addison's voice was coloured with laugher and Meredith found herself giggling in the dimness of the room. "Better make sure it has a strong frame too."

At the words Meredith burst out laughing and gently poked Addison in the ribs. She heard a squawk of protest. "I surrender." Addison gasped and Meredith relented with a smile.

It was a comfortable conversation and Meredith felt very peaceful as they lay together in the night.

Again Meredith wanted to tell Addison, I love you.

Again Meredith hesitated, felt chocked by the words.

She really needed to grow up a bit, and soon.

"You okay?" Addison asked, seeming to sense the conflict within Meredith.

"Yes. As long as you are with me, I am okay." Meredith answered and rolled over to embrace Addison fully, relishing the feel of their naked bodies so close together.

A frisson of arousal made it's presence known in Meredith's nerves, but right now she just wanted to feel Addison, hold her and maybe sleep once more.

They could make love later.

Addison sighed and Meredith could hear deep contentment in the sound. Again she was overwhelmed by the desire to tell Addison about her feelings, but Meredith instead closed her eyes and let the somnolence of the night and the peace of the moment was over her.

It was just minutes before they were both sleeping once more.

* * *

**Chapter 31**

Meredith had a later shift than in the morning so when she arrived at the hospital she arrived alone. Well almost alone. Cristina was waiting for her by the entrance of the hospital with a cup of coffee in her hand.

"You okay?" Meredith asked her friend.

It looked as if Cristina had not gotten any real sleep the night before and unlike the interruptions to Meredith's rest, it looked like whatever had disrupted Cristina's sleep was not good.

"Owen." Cristina mumbled.

Ah yes, the traumatised trauma surgeon. Meredith had a feeling that Cristina was going to have her heart broken by the man, despite everything. It was clear that Owen Hunt and Teddy Altman still carried something for each other, be it a soldier's bond, or some other thing, but it did not bode well for Cristina.

"Come on, you can bitch at me while I get changed." Meredith said, linking her arm with her Cristina's and walking them to the Resident's Lounge.

"He was up all night, doing pushups, and dusting, and staring at himself in the mirror. I don't know what to do." Cristina said as she sat on a bench in the Lounge and sipped at her own coffee.

"He's broken, Cristina. It's not up to you to fix him, but you do need to decide if you can handle him broken." Meredith offered as she sat down next to her friend.

She could still visualise Cristina's face when Callie had called Meredith in the middle of the night a while ago. Owen, in the throes of a bad dream had attempted to strangle Cristina and it had shocked them all. It had horrified Owen.

Meredith did not think that the Trauma Attending was a bad man, or anything, but he had issues that he needed to deal with instead of inflicting them on Cristina so voraciously. Cristina could love Owen, but she could not carry him. Not all of him anyway.

"You need help to hide the bodies?" Meredith asked her friend, bumping shoulders with Cristina.

"You'll be the first to know." Cristina said, sounding a little more like her usual self.

Meredith was glad that she had been able to affect some change for Cristina's mood. They really needed to do some hanging out soon. Meredith had been so busy discovering the joys of lesbianism that it really did feel like forever since they had last just, had a girls night to themselves.

It was time to get to work.

Meredith said bye to Cristina and walked out of the Lounge, making her way to the board. Her own personal gaggle of Interns were waiting for her and Meredith decided that perhaps today they would be doing something like lab work. The kids needed to know the less glamorous side of being a doctor, after all.

As she arrived she saw Addison standing quite close to Mark Sloan and he was leaning in to speak to her with his hand on her hip and the smile on his face clearly broadcasting his intent. He was far too close to Addison.

Meredith felt an ugly feeling slither in her stomach as the sight. Addison seemed to laugh at what he said and then she nudged him out of the way and swished away with an extra spring in her step.

What was that about?

Meredith wanted to go and kick Mark in the shin or something.

Meredith would have to wait to find out though. It's not like she could run after Addison and ask just now.

Damn it.

It would be three hours before Meredith was free to go look for Addison. That said, finding the other woman was proving to be a challenge. Finally Meredith resorted to sending the redhead a message, hoping to be able to expedite the process.

"In a meeting." Came the reply.

What did that mean? A meeting for what? Addison had not mentioned any meeting this morning or yesterday for that matter.

Maybe it had been scheduled at short notice.

_Stop being paranoid._ Meredith admonished herself. She would not resort to suspicion, or accusation again. Addison had forgiven Meredith once for overly jealous behaviour, so Meredith was determined not to have a repeat performance.

Mark and Addison were friends, even if they had a history and he was a Manwhore. Even though Derek had said that Addison would not be able to commit fully to Meredith. Even though Meredith felt the pit of her stomach being eaten by uncertainty.

Meredith would not assume anything.

Somehow.

Spotting Mark Sloan walking down the hall, Meredith could not help but look at him suspiciously. He was looking way too pleased with himself for some reason.

Great.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Meredith. I have to stay at the hospital tonight." Addison said into the phone and Meredith felt her heart plunge.

No Addison tonight?

"I hate sleeping in On Call rooms." Addison whined and Meredith, despite still feeling peeved about what she had seen earlier with Mark Sloan felt a pang of sympathy for Addison.

"You want me to bring you anything?" Meredith figured that she had nothing better to do, she could always stop back at the hospital with a care package or something.

"Nah. I'll just order in a pizza or something. God this sucks. Sorry." Meredith could hear Addison shift on the other end of the line and there was a murmur of a male voice somewhere in the background

Great.

"Okay. Well, call me if you need anything." Meredith eventually replied and tried not to sound too clingy.

"Goodnight, Meredith." Addison said distractedly as the male voice in the background got louder.

"Goodnight." Meredith said and closed the phone.

Suddenly this morning felt very far away. They had managed to make love before Addison left and Meredith fancied that she could still taste Addison on her tongue over twelve hours later.

And now Addison was spending the night in the hospital after being all chummy with Mark Sloan this morning and Meredith was pissed.

Meredith walked to Joe's and decided that she would manage to avoid the tequila tonight, but she would permit herself a few beers before she went home. This was not going to be easy.

It would be an entirely different thing except that Mark and Addison had a significant and extensive history together. Addison had cheated on Derek with Mark and while technically Mark and Lexie had not been together when Mark had slept with Addison in LA, it still had seemed that Mark had easily given himself over to Addison when his heart was supposed to be with Lexie still.

Deciding that she might actually get a headache if she thought about this too much, Meredith went to sit down at the bar and ordered a beer. Thankfully the place was quiet and she would not have to contend with too many jerks trying to pick her up tonight. Meredith feared that tonight she might be too tempted to much less than polite and that could cause problems.

She had never been a shrinking violet, after all.

"You okay?" Joe asked her after she downed a large swallow of beer.

"I will be. Girl trouble." Meredith offered.

Joe was good at keeping things to himself and he was a good listener. He was also gay. Did this mean that Meredith now somehow belonged to the Gay Club? Was there some sort of secret handshake?

Maybe she would go home after another beer and do some more research on google. She really had no clue at all. It was quite something to be mostly self assured about one's sexuality for a lifetime and then suddenly wake up gay. Or at least gay for Addison Montgomery.

Snatching up her phone, Meredith peered at the display. There was a text message. When had that arrived? Hastily Meredith activated the phone and went to read the message and in her haste managed to delete it before she could even see who it was from. Damn it!

Had it been from Addison?

Meredith wanted to talk with Addison. She had not even begun to scrape the surface of what she wanted to know and learn about the other woman.

Throwing caution to the wind, Meredith typed out a quick message and sent it to the woman in question; her girlfriend. Lover. And right now the one person on this planet who seemed to have the power to drive Meredith crazy. They really needed to talk about Mark Sloan and about boundaries with exes and others.

Meredith paid for her beer and made her way out of the bar.

No reply from Addison. Just fucking great.

"Yeah, I need to get back to the hospital." Meredith did not catch the rest of what was being said, but she did catch on to the fact that the speaker was none other than Mark Sloan.

Glancing over, Meredith saw that the man was sitting with a very pretty woman who appeared to be enraptured with Mark. McSteamy, or well, McSleazy was hard at work as usual. But what was he going to do back at the hospital? He was a plastic surgeon, not exactly called upon to do open heart surgery or monitor pregnant women in distress at all hours of the day or night.

Meredith glanced at her phone.

Still no message from Addison.

Damn it.

Meredith left the bad and started her trek back to her car. One and a half beers would not impede her driving ability and the reality of the matter was that she simply wanted to get home. No doubt the fridge was crawling away on its own by now and she had not seen the space since Derek and her had broken up.

Despite his flaws, Derek was not the type of man to leave a mess or take what was not his, so Meredith was not expecting a disaster. That was some relief at least. The last thing that Meredith needed was something else to worry about on top of everything else.

* * *

When morning eventually came, Meredith woke up in a terrible mood, with her period, an imprint of her phone on her face, cramps from hell and half a migraine. All the hallmarks of a fantastic day.

And still no call or contact from Addison. Just the knowledge that Mark had possibly spent the night in the hospital and there had been pizza and an On Call room and Addison there as well.

Was it normal to feel this jealous?

Meredith could not remember feeling this way about Derek, ever.

As she spend to the hospital with a too strong latte that was going to give her a stomach ache in hand, Meredith gritted her teeth and tried to rationalise her feelings.

She was in love with Addison. She could not bear the thought that anyone else so much as breathed in her direction in an even obliquely sexual or romantic way. The problem was she had no concrete idea about how exactly Addison felt. They had not had a discussion about feelings and Meredith was starting to realise that this as a serious omission on both their parts.

Without the definitive knowledge about who they were together and what they meant to each other, there were too many gaps in the story and those gaps were easy to fill with assumption and hyperbole.

Meredith resisted the urge to pound her sensitive surgeon hands on the steering wheel of the car. Why had Addison been so solicitous towards Mark? It was clear that the Plastic Surgeon had propositioned Meredith's girlfriend, so why had her girlfriend not rebuffed him in a fashion that left no doubt that she had said no?

Why?

Taking a sip of her angry-stomach coffee, Meredith pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and turned off the ignition. Glaring out of the window Meredith considered the emotion of hope. She had finally found someone she wanted to spend her life with and none of it was uncomfortable, but she had no frame of reference as to how to proceed from here.

They had a hotel room, an On Call room, a handful of outings, and a small suitcase thrown in the backseat of Meredith's car. What else did they have?

Meredith sighed and got out of the car, grabbing her things and tossing the remnants of her coffee into a nearby trash. It was time to face the day.

Her phone beeped a message and Meredith snatched it up, this time taking great care not to delete the damn thing in her haste to read it.

_Going back to the hotel. See you later, okay?_

Addison was still at the hospital?

Gathering her pace, Meredith hurried as she wanted to speak with her errant girlfriend before anything further happened. She had to know what was going on and she wanted to see with her own eyes the state that Addison was in.

On a more realistic front Meredith knew that she would not be able to tell if Addison had been fucked by Mark Sloan all night, but that did not calm or stop Meredith's lizard brain at all. The primitive side of her nature had to know, regardless of the possible answer.

As it was, Meredith caught Addison as the other woman was heading towards her rented car that was parked in the same parking lot that Meredith was in, albeit in the Attending Doctor area, which was closer, better, nicer.

"Addison!" Meredith called out and Addison spanned her head up and looked around.

"Meredith!" Addison seemed happy to see her, Meredith supposed.

"This is all I deserve?" Meredith said, holding up her phone.

Addison looked perplexed and shocked at the statement.

"You disappear into the bowels of the hospital all night and I get no word from you except a see you later in the morning?" Meredith continued.

"And this after I saw Mark Sloan all over you yesterday morning?" Meredith added, feeling her anger mount.

"You what? Meredith what the hell are you talking about?" Addison put her bag down on the car that she had been about to get into.

"I saw that Manwhore, Mark Sloan all over you yesterday morning. Everyone saw it. What the hell am I supposed to assume, Addison?" Meredith hissed, feeling distressed.

It did not help that the headache that she had been nursing all morning was beginning to feel like the labour pains that would herald the birth of Athena, who would no doubt burst fully formed from Meredith's forehead at any second now.

Zeus, what a mess!

Addison seemed to have gotten over her shock now and Meredith could see a shift as the redhead prepared to go on the offensive.

Fantastic. A huge argument on top of everything else. What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day this was becoming and at a full gallop too.

"Have you been stewing all night?" Addison asked, bewilderment lacing her voice.

"You could have sent me a text, or something!" Meredith half yelled.

"I did." Addison cut Meredith off. "And if you had bothered to read it you would know I had a GSW, a pregnant woman was shot. I managed to save both mother and child and I have not had any sleep at all yet, Meredith." Addison exclaimed sounding frustrated.

"And as for Mark Sloan, if you had bothered to come closer, or had tried to ask me, instead of assuming some shit, you would know that I told him I was with someone I really and to go away." Addison continued, fatigue colouring her voice.

"That's not what it looked like." Meredith hissed. "You let him touch you and you and Mark have history. What the hell am I supposed to think?" Meredith queried, feeling fed up and tearful.

"Meredith, what you should have done is not assume anything. You should have asked me. Mark and I are in the past, the only present I want is with you and the only future I have been considering for a long time now, is with you. Right now though I can't imagine why the hell I am, though." Addison picked up her bag and rolled her shoulders.

"Yes, I cheated on Derek with Mark, but it was not that simple, Meredith. There are three sides to the story and you have only heard one of them." Addison continued. "This is not working. I can't be with someone who questions my every move and motive and who can't trust me." Meredith realised that Addison was almost in tears now.

"If you honestly think that my relationship with Mark in any way impacts our relationship and you won't let that thought go, then maybe we are not good for each other. Maybe I am not good enough for you." Addison shook her head and seemed to blink as she spoke and Meredith began to realise just how hurt Addison was.

And she, Meredith had hurt her.

"You should have asked me." Addison said sadly before she pulled up her shoulders and grabbed her things.

"If you can hold a civil conversation, we'll talk later, Meredith. I have to get some sleep. And for your information, Mark left the hospital as soon as he had reassured one of his panicking facelift patients that she would not look like The Bride of Frankenstein once her bandages were removed. Or that's the gossip I heard this morning anyway." Addison said quietly.

"You should have asked, Meredith." Addison said in a deeply hurt tone after a pause and then got into the car, started it up and without a backwards glance drove away.

Meredith would have given anything to take the whole sordid mess back. She wanted to call Addison back and say that she was sorry. That she loved her.

So why didn't she?

_Fuck._

* * *

**Chapter 32**

Well, the day had gone from worse, to terrible. Meredith discovered that she was on Derek's service almost as soon as she had entered the hospital and after half an hour of trying, she realised that she was not going to be able to swap with anyone. Apparently everyone had been told not to swap with her.

Great.

A day stuck with Derek and Addison was not reacting to phone calls or pages. Meredith had left one halting voicemail, but it had not even come close to saying what she really wanted to say to the other woman so she would have to hope that either eventually Addison would take her call, or that she would call Meredith.

The other woman was right. Meredith was going to have to get over her trust issues in order for this to work and it was going to have to happen with relative swiftness. She could not keep assuming the worst.

"Is this how it's going to be?" Derek asked her out of the blue as they examined scans.

"What?" Meredith asked him, surprised.

"The silent treatment? You know, we do have to work together." Derek said in reply.

"I suppose that is why you forbade anyone to swap with me?" Meredith asked.

She had actually forgotten that she was standing next to Derek, her mind was so focused on the problem with Addison.

"What's it going to take to get you to behave more professionally?" Derek inquired.

"An apology for forcing yourself on me the other day would be a start, Doctor Shepherd." Meredith said icily.

To his credit, Derek flinched at her tone and at the reminder.

"You're right. I'm sorry. That was not me, you know that Meredith." Derek implored and he sounded sincere.

"It better never be you again around me, Derek. I do not love you and I do not want you. You have to accept this or we will not be able to work together." Meredith said to him and looked directly into his eyes as she said it.

"Can you give me some time to get used to the idea, though? A grace period where I can be an ass and make some mistakes?" He asked after a pause.

It was not an unreasonable request.

"Fine." Meredith said. "I don't want to talk about this anymore right now, I have other things on my mind you know. The world does not in fact revolve around you." Meredith tried to gentle her words, but the truth was that Derek was going to have to prove his sincerity before Meredith warmed up to him at all.

History or no, he had said some unforgivable things to her.

Right now it was time to focus on work though. Meredith could not afford to screw anything up right now, this included things with Addison. There was little she could do about Addison right now short of skipping out on work and going to go look for the other woman.

Maybe later she'd try that.

By lunchtime things were even worse. There was no Addison to be found or seen, and Meredith had been unable to pin down even Cristina to commiserate with. Mark had looked at her in a perplexed fashion when Meredith had scowled at him in passing and working with Derek was proving to be challenging.

The cafeteria messed up her order, the coffee was old and stale. Meredith decided that the universe hated her and that she wanted to leave and find Addison. Problem was that she might end up suspended if she did this. Derek did run a tight ship for the most part and while he had the leeway to be generous with the personal problems of his Interns, Attending's and Residents, he might not be able to justify this further up the ladder.

Meredith thought that it would be worth being suspended to find Addison. She did not want to lose the other woman and right now it felt like she was trying to hold onto a handful of dry sand on a windy day.

Now her phone was out of charge. Damn it.

It was time to scrub in for surgery and Meredith had no other choice but to put the useless chunk of technology to charge and do her job. At least her pager would still be working, for whatever that was worth.

She had to make this right, somehow. Failure was not an option. Addison was worth the fight and somehow she was going to win.

She had to.

* * *

The surgery had been long and hard. The patient had coded once and the high stress of the operating room had taken it's toll on everyone present. The only upsides of the whole thing were that for a few hours Meredith had been too busy to think too much about the mess with Addison and she and Derek had been able to work together well for a change.

The patient would also be fine for which Meredith was grateful as well of course.

Now as Meredith stood scrubbing out however, she was beginning to fall apart in earnest. When she had removed her scrub cap she had realised that it was the same one that Addison had given her. The green one with the little stars on it.

Would this and her memories be all that Meredith had left of Addison when all was said and done?

It was an unbearable thought that Meredith did not even want to think about but she had to. Unless she learned to trust Addison and especially unless Addison gave Meredith another chance, then this might indeed be the extent of it.

Derek walked in and caught Meredith lost in space, crying.

"Hey, are you okay?" Derek asked and he did sound so sincere.

"I argued with Addison this morning and now she is not taking my calls. It was stupid, the reason. Jealousy and trust issues." Meredith offered as she stuffed the scrub cap into her pocket and sighed.

"Come." Derek said and pulled Meredith gently.

Deciding that she had nothing better to do, Meredith went along with him and balked only a little bit when he opened the door of an On Call room. "Come on." Derek said when Meredith hesitated.

Once inside Derek took a deep breath and scratched at his stubble.

Meredith did nothing, said nothing. She held the scrub cap in her hands and snuffed pitifully. God, had another decade passed? Why was she being needy again?

"You love her?" He asked.

Meredith nodded.

"Does she know?" He asked.

Meredith shook her head, looking up at him in confusion. Why was he being so calm and reasonable and understanding?

When she looked at his face he looked almost compassionate. Why had he not been this way the other day? Well, there had been the shock of finding out somewhat out of the blue about Addison and the undeniable embarrassment of being caught in bed with another woman which had put him on the extreme defensive.

Seeming to sense her unspoken question, Derek shrugged and waved his hands around expressively as if to try to say something that he did not seem to have the words for.

"Stop over thinking this." He said before grabbing her by the shoulders and looking her in the eye.

"Meredith, you need to get changed and go find her. You need to find her, tell her you love her and clear the air and you need to trust her. She is a good woman. She has honour. The longer you leave this and the more time she has to think, the worse it will be. Go, go now." Derek said and took her hands with his own.

Meredith nodded at him and let him pull her into a bear hug. It felt good, even though she was still a little skittish about him. She even let him kiss her cheek and just as it managed to land on the corner of Meredith's mouth she heard the door open.

"What?" The voice of the newcomer said.

Addison.

The look on the redhead's face was a riot of emotions ranging from hurt, to rage, to resignation. Addison did not stop to ask what was going on before she simply turned on her heel and walked away, leaving the door ajar.

"Go." Derek said, pushing Meredith towards the door. "Quickly, before she manages to escape." Derek added when Meredith stumbled.

Meredith hurried out the door and past the knowing, snide looks of the nurses at the nurses station and as she began to run, Meredith tried to extrapolate a shortcut to the parking lot. She had to intercept Addison.

It was now or never and never was just not an option anymore. Meredith cursed herself for not telling Addison that she loved her days ago, weeks ago. All this lost time and now these misunderstandings wasting more time.

Meredith knew how the embrace with Derek must have looked and she did not blame Addison for her reaction, but there would be no running away from this.

As Meredith charged outside she almost fell over. It was pouring rain outside and not just cats and dogs, but cows and horses, actually. Rushing out more carefully into the parking lot, Meredith frantically looked around for Addison's rented car or for Addison.

Nothing.

Goddamn it! Nothing!

Meredith stood in the dark night feeling utterly powerless and lost as hot tears trickled down her face while the rain soaked her to her skin.

Now what?

* * *

**Chapter 33**

Eventually Meredith pried herself loose from the parking lot and made her way indoors. She needed to change and she needed to talk with Derek, and Mark, and Callie and try to find out where Addison might go.

Meredith wished that she had a friend who was a cop so that she could put out an all points bulletin or something. Maybe she should actively pursue the idea of making some cop friends, one never knew when one would come in handy after all.

Back in the hospital Meredith made her way to the Resident's Lounge and pulled off her soaking clothes, drying herself off with a spare tee shirt before she pulled on a fresh set of scrubs and grabbed her id, pager and phone and went stalking through the hospital corridors in search of answers.

She had to find Addison.

Where would the redhead go when she was truly upset? Would she simply drive around aimlessly for a while? What could Meredith do to make this right?

Deciding to start with Callie, she headed for the elevators and was just about to hit the call button when her pager went off four times in succession, almost without pause between the pages.

Glancing down at the device, Meredith felt all her blood rush to her feet as she read the display.

_911 Addison, Addie 911, 911 Montgomery, 911 ER_

Oh shit.

Did mean what she thought it meant?

Oh no.

Please not Addison.

Oh God, please no.

This could not be happening.

Meredith lunge for the stairs and practically broke a land speed record leaping down them and actually falling at one point as she ran full tilt towards the ER.

Oh no.

Meredith's brain was alternating between shutting down from impending panic and going too fast from fear.

No, no, no.

Not this.

Time felt like it ws moving in slow motion as Meredith struggled to get it to speed up. Why wasn't she there yet? Why had Addison driven away so angrily? Oh God. The last time this sort of call had come into pagers around the hospital it had been because Meredith had drowned in Elliot Bay.

Addison.

She could not think of anything else right now, or of anyone else for that matter. Only Addison...

Meredith's mind screamed as she rounded the final corner to the ER and felt strong arms capture her around the waist.

Lashing out, Meredith slapped at the person grabbing her only to have her hands caught in a gentle, yet strong grip. She had to get to Addison.

"Meredith." It was the voice of Owen Hunt.

Hysterical now, Meredith struggled to free herself, kicking viciously with her feet and heaving a satisfying grunt of pain from her captor, but not having the tight hold loosen at all.

"Let me go. I have to go to her." Meredith wailed and renewed her efforts.

A second pair of hands joined Owen's.

"Meredith!" This was Callie's voice which held a whip of command that broke through Meredith's state of mind enough to register.

Finally Meredith stopped struggling.

"You can't go in there." Callie said sadly, her face a mask of compassion.

Owen loosened his grip fractionally. His normally hard face was much softer than she had seen it before. Perhaps he knew more than he let on. He had been to war after all, it would stand to reason that he would see more and say less. Meredith still did not like him, though.

"She was in a car accident. Looks like a drunk driver hit her." Callie extrapolated when Meredith seemed unable to ask what was going on.

Oh no.

No.

"What..?" Meredith found her voice.

"They don't know yet. Stay here. I will find out." Callie murmured, grabbing Meredith's hands as she spoke. "I'll find out and you will know. I promise." Meredith believed her.

Just then Cristina rounded the corner at a full run and at the arrival of her _person_ , Owen let Meredith go. Cristina rushed up to Meredith and grabbed her by the shoulders. "I'm here." Her person said softly. "It's gonna be okay." Cristina added.

Meredith wanted to believe her. She needed to believe what Cristina was saying.

And now Callie had gone and Owen was standing by looking careworn.

Shit.

Meredith slid down the wall as anguish, uncertainty and horror overwhelmed her.

In her mind she replayed the last words that she and Addison had spoken to each other and each word stabbed at Meredith with regret and pain.

_Why couldn't she just grow up already?_ Meredith berated herself at her own stupid insecurities and stupidity.

If Addison had not driven off angrily this would not have happened. If Meredith had not driven her off then this would not have been like this. Addison would be safe in her arms and all would be well.

If only Meredith had not jumped to a conclusion about Mark Sloan and had not let her issues cloud the issue at hand so badly.

Someone walked up to where Meredith was sitting.

"She has suspected broken rubs with cardiac bruising and a concussion. They are still evaluating the situation. Lacerations and major bruising as well as whiplash injury." This was Bailey who spoke. "Callie is in there working on her." The surgeon extrapolated at Meredith's questioning gaze.

Cardiac bruising? Concussion?

Shit.

Shit!

Meredith buried her face in her hands and felt despair and denial wash over her.

This could not be happening. Not now. Not ever.

Why?

There were no answers forthcoming from Meredith's scattered thoughts as she felt the horror of the situation wash over her.

Then alarms began to blare from inside the room that they were working on Addison in. Addison was coding. Oh fuck, no!

Owen reacted to the alarm as if he had been burned and in the bat of an eye he had vanished into the room to help.

Meredith scrambled to her feet and tried to push her way towards Addison only to be captured by many arms.

"Someone go find out what is going on before Meredith has a stroke." A sharp order cracked out, this time from Bailey.

There was a scramble of feet as someone else obeyed. Undoubtedly one of the Interns who had been gathering. Meredith wanted them to be gone, but she also barely cared that they were there at all.

How could this be happening?

Not Addison.

Meredith held her hands against her chest, hoping to stop her heart from bleeding out inside of herself. Surely she was the one who needed some medical attention? It certainly felt like she was going to die any moment and Meredith thought that she ought to know, she had died before after all.

* * *

_I never told her that I love her._ That thought was repeating itself over and over in Meredith's mind as she let strong arms hold her up while she could not hold herself up anymore. Opening her eyes, Meredith looked into the soulful eyes of Doctor Jackson Avery, who had lowered himself to the floor to hold her steady. His eyes seemed older and wiser than he was and for a moment, Meredith felt a great kinship with the man.

_Please don't die, Addison._ It was a prayer, a request, a demand, and a supplication.

Meredith just hoped that someone was listening.

When the alarms had quieted down once more Meredith felt like she could breathe again. By now, extra Interns had been sent on their ways and only a core of people involved in Addison's care, or who were her friend, or who were there for Meredith remained.

The door adjacent to the waiting are opened and Derek came barging in. It looked like he had just come out of surgery, no doubt his page had come when he was occupied with something that he could not leave suddenly.

"Meredith." Derek said softly, looking at her.

Looking up at him Meredith could see the distress in his eyes and his posture and gained some insight into how he must have felt when Meredith had been in trauma and he had been out here waiting for her. It truly had been love between them, just not the forever after kind.

Kneeling down, Derek took Meredith's hands in his own. "I'll go see what is going on." He promised before he rose and attempted to get into the trauma room that contained Addison.

When he opened the door someone in the room immediately stepped out and pressured Derek to do the same. "You can't be in here, you know that." It was the voice of Richard Webber.

"I'm ordering you to let me in." Derek said angrily and glared at the man.

"Go be with Meredith, you know she needs someone who knows what she is going through. You know what it is, Derek. Go to her. Show her that the love she invested in you for all that time was worth it." Richard advised and not unkindly patted Derek on the shoulder.

They had been good friends once, Meredith could see that even now in their interactions.

Derek seemed to accept, at least for now, that he was not going to be allowed in to see Addison. Derek turned back to Meredith and moved to sit next to her. Jackson Avery immediately gave them space, but neither he or Cristina moved very far away for which Meredith was glad.

Bailey had gone back to work on Addison and Callie and Owen were working with her as well, so that left only a few stragglers and Alex, who was staring a hole in the wall but who had said nothing. Meredith knew that Alex and Addison had some sort of history together but she also knew that Alex, in his own emotionally stunted way, was trying to be there for her.

She appreciated the gesture.

Derek did bother to ask Meredith how she was doing. He simply put his arm around her and pulled her closer. "She'll be okay." He murmured.

"You can't know that." Meredith replied feeling like she was talking underwater.

"I have to believe it." Derek replied.

"You can't stand in the way anymore, Derek. Not even by accident." Meredith wanted everything to be clear and out in the open now.

If Addison survived this, Meredith would go and announce this and them from the hospital PA system if needed, or wanted. No more hiding, or stewing. No more stupid misunderstandings.

Tears started to escape Meredith's eyes again as she thought about the possibility of never seeing Addison smile, or laugh, or breathe again. The thought of never touching the other woman, or making love to her again was an impossible thing to even consider. All of this was impossible.

"I know I can't, Meredith." Derek finally replied. "And I won't, you have my word." He added, squeezing her a little tighter.

"When she wakes up, I will tell her exactly what was going on in the On Call room, and remind her not to be a fool. And the same goes for you, Meredith. Don't be a fool." Derek said softly as they huddled together on the floor waiting for some news and Meredith cried openly, not caring what anyone thought about her.

"I wanted something to happen to Addison. I wanted you back." Derek sounded broken as he said the words. "I only really realised today that I had lost you long before Addison came along and she was just incidental to the whole thing." Derek added.

"Forgive me?" He asked and this time he sounded sincere.

Meredith took a deep breath and considered his words. She did want to start from a clean slate. "I forgive you." She whispered, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.

"You deserve to be happy, Meredith. So does Addison." Derek murmured and pulled her close again.

Cristina leaned in and nudged Meredith, who looked at her. Her best friend smiled for her, one of the rare Cristina smiles that Meredith wondered if the woman shared with anyone else. Meredith wanted to think they were special, just for her. In any case, it was good to have these people around her as they waited.

"I can see you love her." Derek said after a while.

Meredith just nodded, willing time to go faster and wanting anyone to come out of the room and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

Alarms began to blare again and this time Meredith leapt to her feet and barged through everyone in order to look into the room that they were working on Addison in. Owen Hunt and Teddy Altman were working on the redhead's heart and Bailey and Richard were working in seamless tandem with nurses standing by.

Addison was coding again. Meredith felt her blood run cold as the machines that surrounded Meredith went insane and then the redhead flatlined.

On God! Meredith pounded on the door and window and saw that the efforts to revive Addison intensified exponentially. Medically Meredith knew that the injury Addison suffered was mainly an impact to her heart and that it was technically not as severe as it could be.

It only mattered that Bailey had a serious look on her face and that Owen was looking at his watch and at the clock on the wall of the room.

Addison could not die. It was impossible for that to happen.

Meredith continued to pound on the window, throwing herself against it and now she was shouting through the glass, frantic. Someone grabbed at her but this time Meredith brushed the attempt off. They would have to knock her unconscious to get her to give up on Addison.

Reaching for the door and viciously twisting the handle, Meredith howled in frustration as she found her way blocked. Kicking the door with her blue sneakers, Meredith rushed back to the window and looked in.

Slapping the glass, Meredith felt a rage engulf her. Addison would not die because they gave up. Owen was talking. He looked cool and detached as he spoke and Bailey looked like she was getting ready to hit him.

He was saying words that Meredith was not going to let him say.

There would be no time of death for Addison Montgomery.

Meredith hit the unbreakable window with all of her might, drawing the gaze of all the doctors present in the room. Meredith locked eyes with Bailey, seeing the despair in the intense face of the woman.

_No, don't give up._ Meredith pleased with her eyes, not caring what anyone thought, or saw and not caring if she had to keep pounding on the window with the chair until security hauled her away. She was not giving up.

Bailey nodded at her slowly before she diverted her attention to Owen and said something sharply, taking the paddles from him.

"She's dead!" Meredith heard Owen yell.

Bailey gave the man a death glare that would have frightened the paint of a wall, but Meredith was too scared to do anything but breathe. Addison could not die. She forbade it, and so did Bailey apparently.

Meredith watched, horrified and fascinated and frightened. She prayed and she prepared to hit the window again with a chair this time, if needed.

It was clear that Bailey had not let him finish his pronouncing of Addison's death, be he a soldier or not, Meredith knew that he would not try to stop her. No one would dare stop Doctor Miranda Bailey if they valued their continuing good health.

"I have not given her permission to die, and if you are going to give up then get out." Meredith heard that clearly and Callie was then at Bailey's side helping.

Owen did not react until Richard shouldered him aside and took his place. The trauma surgeon looked defeated and he certainly was out numbered too.

Good.

Meredith cursed herself bitterly as she waited, poised on eggshells that were as sharp as jagged pieces of broken glass.

Why had she been so stupid?

_I love you_ was not so hard to say. Was it?

Meredith prayed some more and hoped that someone was listening.

Behind the glass Owen was arguing with Bailey and Bailey was ignoring him.

Meredith felt a wave anxiety wash over her as she took a deep breath and tried not to throw up. Come on Addison. Don't die. You can't. I am not done loving you yet!

Was anyone listening?

In horrified rapture Meredith watched as they worked, unaware that her hands hurt or that she was crying and shaking. Unaware of everything else, not aware of anything else. Just Addison.

Live! Live, damn it. Live! Meredith whispered to herself over and over again.

* * *

**Chapter 34**

So intently focused as she was, Meredith almost missed it when the commotion finally stopped and an eerie calm and silence fell over the trauma area. Meredith felt her blood run cold. Had Addison died? Why was everything quiet?

Looking into the trauma room Meredith could see that Bailey looked calm enough and the machines seemed to be working again, but what did it mean? Bailey was out of sight and Owen was turned away.

What the hell was going on? The frantic thought raced through Meredith's head as she waited, wondered, and worried.

Finally the door opened and Richard stepped out. His face was impossible to read. Was this the end? Was Addison dead? They had barely begun.

Please, no.

Meredith wanted to throw up, maybe she would. Strong hands pulled her to her feet and supported her as Richard came closer.

"She is stable." He said quickly as everyone else pressed around him to get an update.

At the words Meredith felt her knees give way. Thank goodness Derek and Jackson were there to hold her up.

She dimly perceived cell phones being whipped out around as the hospital grapevine was informed of the new developments. It would take five minutes for everyone to know the good news. It was better than broadband.

"She will get a full set of films and will need to stay in the hospital for a few days for observation due to the cardiac bruising." Richard continued.

It sounded too good to be true.

She had to see for herself that Addison was okay.

"She'll be awake soon. For now we are keeping her down here but she'll be transferred before nightfall." The stately surgeon added before he held out his hand to Meredith.

"You coming?" He asked. "She'll need a friendly face when she wakes up." Meredith took his hand and after glancing gratefully at Jackson, Derek and Cristina she followed Richard into the trauma room.

Meredith immediately looked at her girlfriend and chocked back a sob.

_Oh, Addison._

Meredith walked up to the bed and looked questioningly at Mark, Bailey and Callie who were attending the fallen doctor.

"Tell me how bad it is." Meredith implored.

She had to know.

"She has broken ribs and concussion and a sprained wrist. Her heart is bruised." Bailey began and as Meredith watched, Mark Sloan began to stitch up cuts on the redhead's body.

Technically a plastic surgeon was not needed for lacerations to the body, but Mark would have to be dragged away kicking and screaming if anyone tried to stop him from stitching up Addison's face.

He was Addison's friend after all.

There would be no scar.

"She will need her left ACL repaired in a few days and she has a hairline fractures in her left foot." This was Callie who spoke.

Meredith could hear the professionalism and the fear in Callie's voice as she spoke. Walking over to Callie, Meredith enfolded the brunette in a brief hug. Callie had been in here when Addison had coded and they were friends. Good friends.

"The surgery will happen tomorrow if Teddy okay's it and then she can go home the day after." Bailey explained and Meredith watched as Miranda petted Addison's hair back from her forehead.

How hard this had to have been for these good people. Meredith resolved to remember just how good her friends and colleagues were, no matter what.

Even Mark Sloan.

As Meredith stood by Addison, holding her hand, she heard a soft moan before Addison's eyes fluttered open.

Oh my God.

Meredith felt tears spring forth from her eyes as she saw the woman she loved come alive again.

"Now you see that, Doctor Hunt? I don't give up on my friends. These people are my family, my children. I don't give up until my arms don't work, and then I will damn well use my legs if I have to, and if that fails, well I will get another family member to step in." Meredith absently heard Bailey lecturing Owen Hunt in the background as she carefully moved as close as possible to Addison.

Without hesitation, Meredith caressed Addison's face and crouched down so that her lover would not have to focus on anything too far away.

"Hi." Meredith whispered gently.

Bleary eyes turned to look at her and Addison's face pulled itself into a half smile at seeing Meredith. It broke and repaired Meredith's heart in one swift moment.

Leaning in, Meredith gently kissed Addison on the lips, being so gentle that it felt like the brush of a butterfly against her lips.

"I love you." Meredith said softly but clearly.

Addison's eyes got big and Meredith could feel the pressure on her hand increase as the redhead reacted. She could also hear Mark react as he worked on Addison's opposite shoulder. "Damn, two hot women just kissed and I don't think I am dreaming either." He murmured, totally inappropriately and Meredith could have almost kissed him for the statement as it was so normal and so Mark which meant that all was well.

Looking up, Meredith also saw that most of the people who had been in the anteroom with her were looking into the trauma room and had witnessed this. In five minutes the whole hospital would know and that was just fine with Meredith.

This was not something that she was going to joke about or hesitate about every again, not if she could help it.

"I love you too." Addison whispered hoarsely. The words were music to Meredith's ears and she felt a huge weight lift off her chest when she heard them.

She had not even been aware that the weight was there in the first place, so the sudden absence made tears of delight and surprise erupt from Meredith's eyes.

Addison did not let go of her hand when Derek came into the room to check on her. His demeanour was respectful and careful and Meredith suddenly realised that it would be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

"Ouch." Meredith said involuntarily as Addison squeezed her hand.

"What?" Addison's voice was still rough and she sounded bleary.

"Um." Meredith offered but she could not help rubbing her hands and wincing.

By now Callie had noticed her action and was standing there right next to her, gently examining her hands. "We'll need pictures of these." She said, examining the bones carefully.

"Why?" Addison queried, sounding exhausted.

"Tell you later, okay?" Meredith offered, not wanting to burden Addison any further.

"Tell me now." Addison said more firmly.

"You flatlined. You were dead. I was trying to get in, through the window." Meredith said in a rush.

"I had to get in here, to tell you I was sorry. To tell you I love you. I had to." Meredith felt hot tears fall down her face.

"This is my fault." She mumbled.

"Meredith. I'm alive." Addison murmured, lifting a hand to wipe her tears.

"It's my fault for not wearing a seatbelt, but it is the drunk asshole who hit me who did this. Not you. I was not speeding or running red lights or anything. He did this to me, not you." Addison said firmly and then fell into an exhausted silence.

They would have to talk more about this later.

* * *

"Only if you replace the bed before I get there." Addison insisted as Meredith was talking her into coming to stay at Meredith's home while she convalesced.

The surgery to repair her knee had been successful and Addison was now bandaged, stitched, in braces, had orders of physical therapy, prescriptions, a neck brace to use if needed and had been given time off. The whirlwind of activity that had surrounded her treatment had calmed down and now Addison was desperate to get out of the hospital.

"Is that all, your highness?" Meredith joked as she made plans to go to a bed store as soon as she left today.

"No." Addison murmured.

"What is it?" Meredith leaned in close, suddenly worried.

"I love you." Addison whispered, pulling Meredith as close as she could.

Meredith for her own part had been ordered to take a week off any sort of fine motor control movements due to strained hands. She had thankfully not broken anything two days before when she had taken on the window of the trauma room with her bare hands. Callie had emphatically told her to take it easy and had prescribed ibuprofen, rest and a hand exerciser to be used daily.

She and Addison had still not talked about what had happened the other day, not in detail anyway. Yesterday had been filled with the knee surgery that Addison had undergone, which had thankfully been without complications and now Addison was ready to leave.

The redhead had a gamut of follow up appointments and crutches and the hospital had even lent her one of its lightest, most compact wheelchairs. So that was at least handled. Meredith knew that Addison would not want to be wheeled around, but with a leg knee and foot injury and broken ribs, it may prove to be necessary.

Now Meredith just needed to get a new bed. She wondered if Cristina would be up for some shopping. Meredith would need to test that the bed was good when two people were in it and she needed to get it tonight, and have it delivered tomorrow, if not sooner.

Addison was coming home tomorrow.

Huh. Home. Meredith hoped that Addison would feel the same way about it quickly. She wanted to make a home with the redhead. She wanted it all with Addison, to be honest.

"I'll get your stuff from the hotel and check you out." Meredith said softly as she arranged the pillows behind Addison's head.

"I dunno, can I trust you with my underwear?" Addison joked earning a smile from Meredith.

"Let me do this, Addison. I almost lost you. I never want to leave anything undone again if I can help it." Meredith fidgeted with the blankets that covered Addison and did not know where to look.

"This is not your fault, Meredith." Addison reassured Meredith and gently grabbed her hands and held them in her own.

"I don't want us to ever have this sort of jealous misunderstanding again. Derek came here this morning and told me what went on in the On Call room. He told me I was stupid to jump to conclusions and that I should grow up." Addison went on to say.

"He was right." She added thoughtfully. "We can grow up together, you and I." Addison concluded quietly.

Reluctantly Meredith nodded her head, agreeing at least temporarily with Addison's assessment of the situation. She was not about to let her guard down though. It was too easy to slip back into old patterns and she really did not want to take the chance, not now and not for a while at least.

This thing between her and Addison, it had barely begun and it had almost been taken away from her permanently in a way that she would never have been able to do anything about. No saying, I'm sorry, or please forgive me, or give me another chance.

In the blink of an eye all of this could have been taken from her and Meredith resolved never to take this for granted again.

"Some heavy thoughts going on in there." Addison commented, looking at Meredith carefully.

Thankfully her concussion had not been serious. Despite the lack of seatbelt, the car had been equipped with airbags and they had undoubtedly saved Addison from devastating and probably mortal damage.

Meredith felt hot tears gather behind her eyelids and she laid her head on the bed next to Addison. A strong hand wove its way through her hair and for long moments Meredith felt at peace.

"You promised me a new bed, Meredith." Addison eventually teased when Meredith was about to fall into a light doze.

"Yeah." Meredith mumbled and decided that she would ask Cristina and Jackson to go with her and together they could make a real scene at the mattress store.

"Bailey will be here soon to check on me and Callie was hovering earlier. I will be okay." Addison reassured Meredith, though neither of them made any moves to disrupt their comfortable and comforting position.

"Don't hurt your hands. I have plans for them later and they need to get well." Addison said as she stroked along Meredith's face.

The suggestion of just what those plans may be sent a shiver of awareness through Meredith. Hopefully neither of them would be taking too much time to get better, though it was going to be some days at least before they could consider anything more athletic than cuddling.

* * *

"Bed shopping?" Cristina's eyebrows climbed up her face in a fashion that was most definitely comical. "And you want me and Pretty Boy to come along?" She added for effect.

Meredith had found the pair of Residents shortly after leaving Addison to sleep.

"Yes." Meredith said simply as she stood expectantly in front of Jackson and Cristina.

The two of them looked at each other before they glanced at Meredith in what seemed to be an uncanny display of synchronicity.

"Fine." Cristina said and Jackson nodded his head, as if Cristina was the boss of him, interesting.

Not expecting it to be this easy, Meredith resisted the urge to clap her hands together with excitement, not only because that would hurt, but because Cristina might sprain her eyeballs from rolling them at that point.

"We gotta go now." Meredith said, grabbing her two friends and pulling them down the corridor with every intent of getting them to her car as soon as possible.

"Wait, right now?" Cristina said as she vainly tried to resist Meredith's pull. "Yep." Meredith replied gleefully and after a brief detour to the Resident's Lounge, Meredith had the pair of doctors in her car.

"I'll buy you dinner." She intoned as she pulled out of the parking lot. "After we have the mattress." She added, making a beeline through the city to the largest bed store that she had been able to find in the yellow pages.

"Why do you need both of us?" Jackson asked as Meredith muscled her car through the city.

"She wants to test the shocks of the bed." Cristina said in a tone that made it clear that she thought that Jackson was a moron for even asking.

"Oh." Came the reply from Jackson.

"She wants to make sure it won't break." Cristina added when she seemed to sense that Jackson's next question was going to be why they needed three people to test that.

"Look at it this way, Pretty Boy. When do you think in your life you are going to have the chance to get into bed with two women again? I mean without duct tape and chloroform being involved?" Meredith bit the inside if her cheek to keep herself from laughing as Cristina patiently lectured Jackson.

"I dunno, you seem to be the expert on these things, you tell me." Jackson countered smoothly.

Good for him, Meredith giggled inside of her mind as she heard Jackson's quick reply to Cristina's sarcasm.

Maybe today would be the start of a beautiful friendship between them. One never knew, sometimes antagonism was a cover for something else and Meredith speculated that Cristina could do worse than Pretty Boy. He was certainly better than Burke, or Hunt, or that sleazy surgeon who had been at the hospital some time ago that Meredith had wanted to head butt on sight.

As her two friends continued to bicker happily, Meredith slowed down and looked around. This was where the mattress store was. Now to find parking. Spying a Vietnamese Restaurant nearby, Meredith resolved to get her two assistants some takeout from there when they were done.

She has said she would buy them dinner, not that she would eat it with them. She wanted to get back to Addison as soon as possible.

Checking her phone, Meredith made sure that there were no messages before she switched off the car and looked at her friends. "Are you ready?" She asked and two sets of eyes looked in her direction. "Let's try not to get arrested okay?" Meredith implored.

Cristina rolled her eyes again and Jackson just smirked. It was clear that the both of them were looking forward to this. Meredith realised that she was as well. Good memories were needed to fill the spaced of her mind and a new bed was a new beginning for Addison and her.

"Let's go kids." Meredith said and opened the car door.

Moments later the three of them stood poised at the entranceway to the store. "All we need is the Mission Impossible theme to play now." Cristina commented as they stepped in.

Jackson began to hum the tune in question and this time Meredith laughed outright as a rather wary looking salesperson approached.

"May I help you?" The man asked.

Meredith smiled brilliantly. "Show me your King Sized line." She said in an imperious tone and a moment later they were following the man into the store.

The man was going to be earning his salary and his commission this evening.

* * *

**Chapter 35**

"This is riveting." Cristina pronounced as the three of them stood before a sea of beds.

"What are you looking for by way of beds?" The helpful salesman asked them.

Now that was a question. Meredith did not know what sort of future decor her home, or well their home, would have, but the bed needed to suit it.

"Is it possible to get a bed without a frame for now and then get a frame later when I know what sort of remodelling will take place?" Meredith asked and then fought back laughter as Jackson and Cristina climbed onto one of the beds and started to crawl around it.

"Yes, that can be done." The man said helpfully.

Now for the million dollar question. "Can the bed be delivered tomorrow morning?" Meredith hoped he would say yes.

She really did not have time to shop around for another location to get a bed from. "Uh, yes, for a rush fee." The man extrapolated.

"Great." Meredith said and smiled brightly at the man.

Jackson and Cristina had by now settled onto their backs and were staring at the ceiling. Meredith excused herself and went to join her friends.

"Now you see, I don't see the relevance of a s _ide of the bed_." Cristina was saying seriously as Jackson tried to not look too uncomfortable.

He had been a good choice to take along.

"May I join in?" Meredith asked.

"Sure, we could fit a whole football team onto the bed and not be crowded." Jackson said succinctly as Meredith crawled onto the bed and laid herself between her friends.

"So Addison is moving in with you?" This was Jackson who asked.

Cristina already knew all the sordid details.

"At least while she convalesces. I am hoping permanently soon, though." Meredith replied and rolled over in the bed.

Addison had requested a firm mattress, but not hard.

Even with three people on it, this bed seemed go be holding up well.

"Uh, so who is this bed for?" The salesman said as he loomed over them.

"Her." Both Jackson and Cristina said. "Well, her and her girlfriend." Cristina amended and Jackson nodded.

Meredith giggled.

"We're here to test the, hm, durability of the bed." Jackson helpfully added and Meredith snorted as the salesman looked like his head was going to explode at the information.

"Okay kids, let's try some more before we decide." Meredith intoned and they scrambled over each other to get out of the bed.

"Don't worry, we're doctors." Cristina said to the salesman as she adjusted her clothing and rolled her eyes at the poor man's expression.

"Doctors of love." Jackson snickered in the background and Meredith decided that she was going to suffer from a hernia from before the night was through.

Suppressing this amount of laughter could not be good for a person.

Meredith's telephone chirped and instantly both Jackson and Cristina were peering over her shoulder looking at the screen with her. "Come on, we're helping you buy a bed for her so you two can boink like bunnies." Cristina pointed out when Meredith gave an exasperated sigh at their antics.

"Fine." Meredith murmured in resignation and activated the screen and checked her message.

_I miss you. Addie_

They needed to hurry.

"Aw, she misses you. It must be love." Cristina said and nudged Jackson who actually rolled his eyes at Cristina but looked pleased to be included in one of her jokes that was not quite so biting.

Meredith quickly typed out a reply to Addison: _I miss you too, see you soon. Mer_

"Okay, you two test some more beds, I'll talk to the guy about delivery options." Meredith pushed her friends towards the beds and turned to the salesman.

"I need this delivered before noon and I need my old bed removed." Meredith explained as she watched her friends jump onto another bed and lie down.

"Okay. No problem." The man said and began to take down Meredith's details.

"Guys?" Meredith called out as her pair of friends hopped from bed to bed and made her smile.

"First one!" Jackson said firmly and Cristina nodded. "Yep." Came her confirmation.

"Okay, that one." Meredith said, pointing at the bed and in a few more minutes the deal was sealed and her credit card was screaming with pain.

It was time to buy Cristina and Jackson dinner. They would need to get takeout. Addison missed her and Meredith wanted to hurry back as quickly as possible. This has been a successful trip, short though. Meredith just hoped that Addison would also like the bed. Well they would have to try something else if not.

It was time to go.

By the time Meredith had her two friends situated with a substantial amount of Vietnamese takeout and she had gotten them all back to the hospital it was quite late and way past visiting hours, but Meredith worked in the hospital and so did Addison, so there would be nothing stopping Meredith from going up to Addison's room

After sending Jackson and Cristina off into their evenings, Meredith took her own takeout bag and made her way to Addison's room.

She was unchallenged as she walked to the doorway and softly opened the door, not wishing to startle the redhead in any way. Addison seemed to be resting, but Meredith doubted that she was asleep and her suspicions were confirmed when Addison opened her eyes and looked directly at Meredith.

"I have dinner." Meredith said, holding up the bag of food. "And a new bed." She added, smiling brilliantly at Addison.

Addison smiled slightly and sighed. She looked sad. "Hey, are you okay?" Meredith asked, food and new bed instantly forgotten.

"I missed you." Addison said, sounding a little forlorn and somewhat tired.

She probably felt like hell, even with her fine doses of pain medication. "I missed you too." Meredith whispered as she every so gently climbed into Addison's bed.

Carefully, she arranged herself so that she would not fall out or hurt Addison and then she gathered the other woman into her arms and held her close. Addison seemed to relax into her arms and Meredith could feel the tension leave her lover's body. Meredith wondered if Addison had gotten any real sleep today and when the redhead fell asleep almost at once, she guessed probably not.

Meredith resolved to hold her all night if needed. She would protect Addison from bad dreams and pain and loneliness. Relaxing into the embrace, Meredith felt her mind drift away as she listened to Addison sleep. Meredith did not know who to thank for the fact that Addison was still alive and still with Meredith.

She supposed God would be a place to start. And then Bailey, who was equivalent to God in more ways than one.

That would make a good start.

A slight noise at the doorway caught Meredith's attention and as she looked up she spied Derek looking in at them with a soft look on his face. He seemed to be unaware of her scrutiny for some moments and Meredith wondered what he might be thinking as he looked at them. A moment later he seemed to focus once more and then smiled at Meredith. It was a genuine, warm smile and it gave Meredith hope.

Things were going to be okay. There was simply no other option.

Another moment passed and Derek left as quietly as he had arrived.

Meredith closed her eyes and felt herself slip into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

The next morning came far too quickly and as Addison was due for a round of tests and Meredith was summarily chased out of the hospital room, she decided to go home and make sure that the delivery of the bed would go as smoothly as possible.

"Grey, you need to get yourself organised. Addison will be discharged today and she will need to go straight to bed." Bailey had told Meredith in no uncertain terms when she had shown up in Addison's room in the morning on her rounds.

Meredith had reluctantly agreed that Bailey did have a point. Addison had however overruled Bailey on a few counts. "Can she stay while I shower? No offence, Miranda, but the sponge baths from the nurses are not exactly adequate." Meredith had laughed privately at this assessment and had helped Addison with her shower.

Mainly it was a matter of keeping stitches as dry as possible and making sure her braces did not get wet and she did not fall over. Meredith made a mental note to get a plastic chair for her own shower at home. There was no way that Addison could take a bath just yet and well, getting her to stand in the shower, was a sure way of having some accident happen.

In fact, by the time Meredith left the hospital she had a shopping list as long as her arm to attend do. She would need to get help with groceries, though. There was no way she would be able to carry heavy bags into the house. Callie would kill her if she hurt herself any further and so would Addison.

It was good to be loved.

With that in mind, Meredith went to search for some help with her morning chores and errands. Who would be someone to help her?

This was when Meredith wished she could call upon a father figure or at least a big brother figure.

Hm. Maybe she could.

"Doctor Webber." Meredith said as she rounded a corner and came upon the venerable surgeon.

"Meredith. How are you feeling?" The man asked, immediately interrupting what he was doing in order to focus on her.

He had been to see Addison on several occasions, but each time Meredith had been otherwise occupied.

"I am doing well." Meredith assured him and smiled. "I was wondering if you had any spare time this morning?" She hedged.

"I am not scheduled for surgery until noon." The man replied, looking interested in whatever Meredith was going to say next.

"I need some advice and some help. I need to get my house ready for Addison and I need to get groceries." Meredith wondered if this was a good idea.

In many ways he was as close to a father figure as Meredith had, but he was also a primary reason why her own father had given up on Meredith when she was a child.

"Have no fear. Richard Webber is here to help." Was the instant reply from the doctor and Meredith smiled.

Maybe it was a good idea.

"I can meet you by your car in fifteen minutes, alright?" He said as he began to hand of tasks to residents and interns who were crowded around him.

"Perfect." Meredith said with a smile and then headed towards the Resident's Lounge to pack up her things and get ready to leave.

It was going to be an adventure and she was actually looking forward to it, as unusual as it promised to be.

She had sworn to herself to begun a new leaf. No more hiding behind her issues and no more hiding away from issues. Also, she did need a parental figure right now. In essence, her girlfriend was moving in. It was not a daily occurrence and she had messed up Derek's _moving in_ some time ago. She did not want to repeat the mistakes she had made then this time.

Time to get busy though, she only had a few minutes before Richard would be ready and Meredith did not want to keep him waiting.

When she arrived at her car, Richard was just walking up to her. Meredith smiled openly at him. Whatever conflicting feelings that he may evoke in her, the fact remained that he was on her side, even when it was frustrating and in a way he was the only link she still had to her mother.

He actually knew her mother better than Meredith did.

"Thank you for doing this." Meredith offered, feeling irrationally shy for some reason.

"My pleasure." The man said with a smile and a moment later they had piled into her car and were on the road.

"I don't know what to do." Meredith said after a few minutes.

"Addison loves you, Meredith. That is a precious thing." Richard soothed her gently.

"I need groceries, and the new bed is coming and the house needs cleaning and I still have not gotten rid of so much extra stuff nor have I organised things I said I would a year or more ago." Meredith extrapolated.

"I'll tell you what. You bring me to your house and I will oversee the bed arriving and see about arranging for someone to come and give it a good cleaning. My wife knows some people who are very reliable." Richard said confidently and Meredith felt some of her tension start to ease.

"I won't do any snooping, I promise. I know how much trust means to you, Meredith." He added as an afterthought, obviously wanting to reassure her.

"You go grocery shopping and get someone to help you with the bags, alright?" He continued and then smiles winningly at her.

"Why are you doing this?" Meredith suddenly asked, realising that perhaps it was not the best of questions but she was curious and did not have a tendency to shy away from difficult questions.

"And don't say anything about my mother. I would like you think that you and I have a relationship that does not hinge on her." Meredith added as an afterthought.

Her phone beeped a text message as she pulled up to her house and quickly Meredith snatched it up and called up the message.

_If one more person shines a penlight into my eyes I am going to stab them with it. Addie_

Meredith giggled at the message and then at Richard's curious glance she shrugged a little. "Addison is eager to get out of the hospital." She elaborated and they both got out of the car.

"Don't blame her. Doctors make terrible patients and Surgeons, well, they take the cake." Richard said while he waited for Meredith to unlock her front door.

Walking into the space, Meredith saw Richard pause at the entranceway and she suddenly wondered if he had ever visited when she was a child. She could not remember clearly if he had or had not.

"Let me take you to the bedroom" Meredith said after a few moments, feeling suddenly shy.

Why had she chosen Richard to help her with this?

Probably because she knew she would be able to rely on him and it was not so weird to have him in her home to do this intimate thing for her.

Or who knows.

"I'm doing this for you." Richard said as they came to a stop outside of her bedroom door.

"Pardon?" Meredith asked, her hand poised on the door handle.

"I am helping you with this today, for you." Richard repeated himself.

"For me?" Meredith asked, feeling confused and hoping that he would explain himself.

"Yes. You need someone who you can trust to do this, and someone who knows how to do it, to do this. Ordinarily you might be able to call upon a brother or a parent, but there is not much about you that is ordinary, Meredith." Richard extrapolated as he looked around the room.

"I'm going to have the house redecorated." Meredith explained self consciously.

The decor had not received an update in as long as Meredith had been alive after all. "I want you to be happy." Richard said after a long pause.

"If this helps you achieve that goal, then I am happy to help." Richard seemed to be done talking.

The doorbell rang. "That would be the mattress." Meredith said, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.

Had she ever bought a mattress before? No.

Damn, and she called herself a grownup?

"I'll take care of it, Meredith. You just go and make a shopping list and get yourself to the grocery store. Addison is going to walk out of the hospital under her own power if we don't get a move on." Richard reminded Meredith and that lit a fire under her.

"Okay." She said and watched as the man left and went to answer her door.

It was a huge relief actually to have someone here to help her with the logistics. Maybe she would be able to get this day done without having a nervous breakdown after all and suddenly Meredith could not wait to have Addison arrive.

Time to get a move on! Meredith hurried towards her kitchen. It needed to be stocked from cupboards, to pantry to fridge. That was going to be a chore and a half but it was indeed time to be a grown up about this sort of thing.

When Meredith arrived in the kitchen she pulled out her phone and send Addison a quick text back.

_I'm going grocery shopping, is there anything you would like to eat in particular? Mer_

No sooner had she sent the message when Meredith got a reply.

_You._

Meredith swallowed hard.

It seemed that Addison was feeling better.

* * *

**Chapter 36**

Shopping had been a madhouse and because Meredith was in a hurry, she had not lingered. She could always go back another time. The key was to get her kitchen stocked so it would not be an embarrassment to her. A very helpful young man had helped her load her shopping into her car and now she was on her way back to see how Richard was getting on.

Pulling up to her driveway she saw that the mattress people had left. Meredith was sure that they had taken the old bed with them. There was no way Richard was going to let them leave it behind.

A moment after she stopped the car, the man in question popped out of her front door and cheerfully walked up to her. "Hi there. That was quick." He commented and opened the door for her reminding her that he was of a generation that was much more gentlemanly than the current one.

Shooing Meredith away, he grabbed some of the bags and they walked together to the house. "The mattress is in place and all went well." He explained and as they walked into the house Meredith became aware of noises.

"Cleaners. Adele sent them here personally. They say they will be done in another half hour." Richard answered her unspoken question and when Meredith walked into her kitchen she could practically see it sparkle.

"Wow." She exclaimed.

"Thank you." She added.

"Nice huh?" Richard commented as he walked out to get more bags.

Meredith figured that she would be able to put away most of the groceries without irritating her hands. She only had another hour before she had to have Richard back at the hospital.

What could she do for him to express her gratitude for his kind gesture today?

An idea came to her and she thought that he would like it. Quickly she caught up with the groceries and then hurried to her mother's old study to fetch something, thankful that she had recently handled it so that she knew where to look for it.

Hearing Richard open the door again, Meredith rushed back to the kitchen. "Hey, would you like some coffee or something?" She asked as she reached for more food and other stuff to put away.

"I don't think I have had that coffee maker sparkle quite like that in years." Meredith pointed at the contraption and smiled winningly at Richard.

"I'd love some." He said and started to help her put things away.

As Meredith worked to make coffee, she marvelled at the ease the former Chief had in the kitchen. It was nice to have someone around who simply did things without making a production of it. Deciding that now was the time, Meredith reached into her pocket and pulled out a notebook.

"I want you to have this." She said softly when the man looked down at her offering.

"It's one of my mother's journals. This one contains the notes about the GRID case you spoke about." Meredith explained, pressing the book into his hands.

Richard looked as if he was going to object. "Please, just take it." Meredith whispered softly. "Our coffee will get cold if you argue." She added and then saw him relent before he reverently slipped the book into his jacket pocket.

"Thank you." He said simply and Meredith nodded.

Meredith went to pour coffee and as they sipped the hot beverage, the rest of the groceries vanished into their respective locations.

Just as they were finishing and clearing up, one of the cleaning crew came and announced that they were done. Meredith looked at the young man and decided that Adele had chosen well. The man was decked out in a bright green shirt and jeans and he looked like he knew what he was doing.

"Thank you." Meredith said to him and then considered another thing. "Will you send me the bill?" She asked, wondering how this sort of thing was conducted. "Or do I pay now?" Meredith wondered if she had the needed cash on hand or would they take a check.

"Actually, this has been paid for by insurance, Meredith." Richard said and pulled out a roll of bills before he turned and gave the young man a tip.

"My wife sends her regards." Richard told the man and Meredith saw a flash of white teeth as he smiled.

"Thank you, Doctor Webber." The man said and in a few more moments they were gone.

"Insurance?" Meredith asked, perplexed.

"Oh you better believe it. Give me the receipt for the groceries and the bed. Addison's drunk driver is paying for all of this and for her rehabilitation as well." Richard's voice was laced with fury as he spoke. "We'll write this up as special care requirements or something." The gleeful malice in his voice made Meredith snort with laughter despite herself.

Served the wretched bastard right.

Meredith had already entertained thoughts about doing wicked things to the man.

"Well, I better get you back to the hospital and I need to get Addison back here." Meredith said as she put their cups into the dishwasher.

"Thank you. You made this so much easier." Meredith commented as they started to walk out of the house.

"I will try to make it so that you can rely on me if you need to, Meredith." Richard said in a serious tone.

"I'd like that." Meredith answered softly.

* * *

Back at the hospital Meredith said goodbye to Richard before she made her way to Addison's room. Without a doubt the redhead was ready to be discharged and Meredith wanted to make sure that there would be no delay in the proceedings. Addison would be impatient and eager and Meredith could not blame her at all.

She had been a patient in this hospital more than once. As nice as it could be, it was never nice to be a patient anywhere.

Arriving at Addison's room she saw that her girlfriend was actually dressed and ready to go, she was simply arguing with Bailey about the wheelchair.

"I can walk." Addison insisted, sounding petulant.

"Addison, you have a brace on your foot, and your knee has been operated on and you can barely use the crutches because of your ribs." Bailey sounded exasperated and it was actually kind of funny to see the battle of wills between the two women unfolding.

"I am not using the wheelchair." Addison crossed her arms and looked like she would stamp her feet if she could do so without hurting herself.

"Then you are staying here." Bailey said with a finality that Meredith knew that no one, not even the venerable, formidable Addison Montgomery could overcome.

"Fine." Addison said with a huge sigh and Meredith stepped into the room, ready to her love get into the wheelchair if needed.

"Ah, my knight in sensible shoes has arrived." Addison commented upon noticing Meredith and a smile coloured her voice.

"Yep, and your chariot awaits you, m'lady." Meredith played along and in a few moments Addison was situated in the wheelchair and they were rolling towards the hospital entrance amid well wishes of nurses, interns and other hospital workers.

"I sent one of my interns to fetch your stuff." Meredith teased as she pushed Addison into an elevator.

At the look of horror that Addison gave her Meredith laughed.

"You brat!" Addison exclaimed. "Wait until I get my hands on you." She added, huffing in her chair.

"Can't wait." Meredith murmured and looked around as the elevator descended.

"This is the elevator where all this started." Meredith said after a moment, realising that they were in the same elevator that they had been stuck in all those weeks ago.

"Huh. You think it started here?" Addison asked as she looked around curiously.

"Maybe it just came to a head in here?" Meredith offered as the elevator doors opened and heir journey resumed.

It only took a few moments to arrive at Meredith's car and as Meredith approached she saw that they were not alone. Derek was waiting. "What does he want?" Meredith murmured mostly to herself.

"Dunno. Let's find out." Addison suggested and then they came to a stop.

"Hi." Derek offered, sounding slightly uncomfortable.

"Hi." Addison and Meredith said in unison.

"I came to help with the chair and to see you two were okay." He said waving his hand at the car and at them.

"Okay." Meredith said, not entirely displeased at the matter.

It took a few minutes but soon Addison was carefully arranged in Meredith's car and the chair was in the back and then Meredith slid into the drivers seat, ready to go. Derek had been attentive and quiet, seeming happy that he could do some little thing for them and it also seemed that he was satisfied that they were okay.

"Does she know that your sister and Karev live with you?" Derek said when he leaned down to look into the window at them.

"She does now." Meredith said brightly.

She was actually unsure if Addison knew or not. They had never really discussed the matter at any length. Hopefully the redhead would not mind Meredith's roommates, they were mainly hardly ever underfoot and Cristina was far more likely to barge in unannounced than they were, and she did not even live there.

"Drive safely and call me if you need anything." Derek said softly to the both of them and Meredith nodded.

Addison gave him a little wave and then they pulled out of the parking lot and started to make their way to Meredith's house.

"Lexie can be nosey, but she has good intentions. And well, you know Alex." Meredith offered as she drove carefully, not wishing to jar Addison or make her feel nervous so close to having had a bad experience in a car.

"Does it bother you?" Addison asked.

"No, they don't bother me. My sister needs her own life and despite how people might perceive him, Alex is my friend." Meredith said as she glanced at Addison, making sure she was okay.

"No, I mean, about me and Alex?" Addison extrapolated.

"No." Meredith said honestly.

A few days ago it might have, but in retrospect, Meredith herself had a long past and a history with people that Addison was going to interact with and meet and this was now and that was then.

Being uptight and jealous about exes, no matter how insignificant or significant they may be was just not kosher anymore.

"Alex won't bother you." Meredith hastened to answer.

"I know." Addison answered and Meredith noted that she sounded tired.

She needed to get into bed and it was then that Meredith realised that she had not even checked the bedroom since the new bed had been installed. Hopefully the bed was made. Hopefully everything was fine...

Oh no.

As Meredith pulled to a stop in front of her house a wave of nerves washed over her and she gripped the steering wheel of her car tightly, until it hurt her hands and she let go quickly, switching off the ignition.

"Nervous?" Addison queried.

"A little." Meredith offered by way of reply.

"Me too." Addison said.

"I'll walk." She added.

Meredith nodded and alighted from the car, quickly moving around to open the door for Addison and then helping her out, wishing that she had Derek or someone on this end as well, but they would manage.

They would have to manage, it would be some days before Addison gained more mobility after all, but Meredith made a mental note to add Jackson to her speed dial in case she needed more help than her roommates, Cristina, or Richard could offer.

"Let's go." Meredith suggested and they made their way carefully to the house, Addison favouring her food leg and leaning heavily into Meredith. "I have a nice couch you can catch your breath on." Meredith encouraged and after some further fumbling they were finally indoors.

"Smells freshly cleaned." Addison commented as she gathered her strength for the next stretch of the journey.

"Well, let's put it this way, in the morning it was like a college dorm in here." Meredith said with a laugh. "And we won't discuss the state of the kitchen." Meredith continued and gently guided Addison to the sofa.

"Wait here, I will get the chair and your stuff." Meredith said, leaning in to place a soft kiss on Addison's temple.

The redhead nodded and closed her eyes, leaning back and looking tired.

She needed to eat, take her medicines and then get into bed. ASAP.

Hurrying out to the car, Meredith quickly gathered up their things and locked it up. Addison only had a few bare essentials from the hospital. Spare scrubs, her purse and whatever had been salvaged from the wreck of her car and a toiletry kit someone had given her while she was there so she had not needed to use the generic stuff at the hospital.

The chair was light and even with her sore hands, Meredith was able to get everything into the house with relative ease and a few moments later she was back in her living room and with Addison.

Her girlfriend was looking around with tired interest. "We need to redecorate." She murmured and Meredith laughed.

Addison was feeling better.

Another weight lifted off Meredith's chest at the thought and she put down Addison's things and went to sit next to her, carefully easing her wait near the redhead so as not to jar her at all.

"Welcome home." Meredith whispered and carefully gathered Addison close.

A peaceful sigh was her reward and when Addison relaxed against her side, Meredith finally felt like she could relax a little more as well.

They were home. At last.

* * *

Eventually Meredith decided that Addison had to be gotten ready for bed. Her body had experienced a severe trauma just a few days ago and it needed rest. First medicine though, and that required food in Addison's stomach so that the pills would not burn a hole all the way down to China. Or at least her duodenum.

"I need to get some food into you so you can take your medicine before you go to bed." Meredith explained as she gently extracted herself from Addison.

Still sore from her defibrillator shocks and the accident itself, not to mention her injuries, Meredith wanted to make sure that she did not jar Addison at all.

"Hmm, okay." Addison mumbled, clearly at the edges of sleep.

Meredith wandered into the kitchen and considered what to feed Addison. Something light. Meredith did not know how to cook, but she could make a sandwich, or heat something up. The groceries so recently purchased were specifically sought for that purpose after all.

Quickly, Meredith put together a nice sandwich and a cup of hot cocoa and brought it along with Addison's medications back out to the woman who was still reclining on her sofa.

"Come on, darling. You need to eat something before you sleep." Meredith coaxed the exhausted woman.

The sooner they got this over with the sooner Addison would be in bed.

With a sigh, Addison consented to opening her eyes and reached for the food sullenly. Meredith suppressed a smirk; surgeons did indeed make bad patients. Meredith herself was a terrible patient really. It did not matter though, even if Addison was prone to have tantrums, Meredith did not care. All she cared about was that Addison was alive and well and that she was home.

The redhead must have been somewhat hungry, as she finished her light repast quickly and then took her pills without complaint. "Okay, Addison. I'll be right back and then we'll get you up to bed." Meredith soothed her lover.

Addison was now so tired that she just nodded blearily.

Hopefully she would perk up enough to help Meredith get her to bed, otherwise Addison may end up sleeping on the couch. Hurrying back to the woman in question, Meredith gently coaxed her to stand and together they made their way through the house. Addison leaned heavily on Meredith but seemed to be making good progress on her own, as well.

It took what felt like a long time for them to arrive at the master bedroom, but when they did Meredith could not conceal her surprise. The bed was made, ready and it was gorgeous, even without any frame around it and only resting on its box-spring.

Looking over at Addison it became apparent that not all was okay though. "Hey, what's wrong?" Meredith tried to sound calm, but Addison was crying softly and she looked ashen.

"I am so tired and I have to use the bathroom and I am just so tired." Addison mumbled, swaying on her feet.

Meredith realised at once that the other woman was overwhelmed by everything and perhaps it had been premature to come home, but at least they were here now and Addison could rest in a comfortable bed and Meredith could look after her during the most critical period of her recovery.

"Come on, I'll help." Meredith soothed, gently guiding the other woman towards the master bathroom.

Addison made as if to resist but Meredith was having none of it. "It's okay you know, I'm a doctor." She joked gently and her reward was a feint smile from the redhead.

Ten minutes and facilities used and teeth having been brushed later, Addison was sitting on the edge of the bed while Meredith removed her clothes carefully, leaving her in her panties and slipping on an oversized nightshirt that Meredith had pulled from one of her drawers.

She could find Addison's nightclothes later, right now it was imperative that the redhead sleep, for hours preferably and she needed to do this now.

"Time to sleep." Meredith said gently and eased Addison down into the soft, sweet smelling sheets.

"Nice bed." Addison managed to say as she shifted to a better position.

"Thanks." Meredith whispered, kissing Addison's cheek.

There was no reply, Addison was asleep at once and thank God for that. Between the pills, the pain (which Addison had not complained about once) and her predicament, she was out like a light.

Meredith softly extracted herself from Addison and crept out of the room. She needed to bring Addison's things into the master bedroom and make sure that neither Alex or Lexie woke Addison when they came home. The exhausted and injured woman had to sleep or she would fail to heal properly and her concussion would not right itself quickly enough.

Neither of those options was something that Meredith would allow, so for the next few days, there would be iron rule in the house. She liked her roommate and her sister, but for the next 72 hours, there had to be peace in the house. Hopefully. So much unexpected stuff could happen that Meredith just did not want to think about it too much right now.

She also needed to find time to work on her hands. Callie had explained that she'd be fine, but the exercises would help make sure she was really fine and without lasting effects or lingering problems further down the line. As Meredith intended to become a surgeon she was motivated to heal herself as well.

With that thought in mind, Meredith resolved to do her prescribed exercises before she did anything else. One needed to have some order to chaos, after all.

Later Meredith was busy making space in her master bathroom for Addison's things when she heard a noise. It had been about two hours since Addison had gone to bed and she would sleep for hours still. Also, Alex and Lexie were due only later. It was still too early for either of them to be home.

The noise repeated itself and this time Meredith became concerned.

Moving out into the bedroom, Meredith immediately saw the reason for the unknown noise. Addison was moaning as she lay trapped a dream that she obviously did want to be in.

Moving towards the distressed woman, Meredith gently eased herself into the bed. Addison needed rescuing, but not waking up unless it was truly needed. Carefully, Meredith gathered Addison against herself and soothed her softly, running a hand through the red hair that she had grown to love so dearly. It was soft and lush under her fingers and Meredith became absorbed in what she ws doing.

Addison stilled from her unpleasant dreams and in a short while, Meredith closed her eyes and sleep overcame her as she lay with Addison in her arms.

* * *

**Chapter 37**

The sun had set by the time Lexie came home and it was her that woke Meredith up. She had knocked gently on the door to Meredith's bedroom and peeked her head in when Meredith had grunted permission to enter. Blearily, Meredith looked at her half sister and tried to gather her thoughts.

Addison showed signs of waking up and she would be hungry, want a shower and need to exercise and walk around a little; be upright for a while.

"You two okay?" Lexie asked, tiptoeing into the room.

"Yeah." Meredith managed to say, congratulating herself on being able to formulate a coherent seeming word.

"Addison needs a very calm environment right now, so please do what you can to help." Meredith whispered as she rolled over and flexed her stiff hands painfully.

"Of course." Lexie replied and actually helped Meredith to sit up.

"I need to get her out of bed. Too much laying down is as bad as too little." Meredith sighed, reluctant to get her sleeping beauty up.

"You need help?" Lexie asked.

"Maybe. We'll see what she has to say about it." Meredith answered.

At this beginning stages of her healing, it would be up to Addison as to who or what exactly touched her. Meredith knew that when things were more painful and awkward, it could be important to be happy with who was handling you and touching you.

Maybe this was also important to Addison.

"Addie." Meredith said gently, touching the slightly puffy face of her girlfriend.

The puffiness was evidence that Addison needed to move around to get her blood and lymphatic system going. The last thing they needed was oedema or blood clots at this stage.

Brilliant eyes opened and looked at Meredith sleepily. "Hi." Addison rumbled, sounding dry and dehydrated.

"You need to get up darling." Meredith said, leaning in and kissing Addison's cheek gently.

"I know." Addison sounded cross but oh so cute.

"Hi Doctor Montgomery." Lexie offered from behind Meredith's shoulder.

Addison squinted at Meredith's younger sister. "If I am going to be living here, you are going to have to learn how to call me Addison, here that is." Addison said not unkindly.

It was clear though that she was uncomfortable and needed to get up.

"Come on Lexie." Meredith said and between the two of them they got Addison seated and then slowly onto her feet.

"Can you go make tea and order something in? We need dinner." Meredith asked, hoping that Lexie would not mind.

"Sure." Her sister said easily and disappeared a moment later.

"Come on sweetheart. Let's get you showered and changed, you'll feel better." Meredith whispered to Addison.

For a moment Addison looked as if she would object, but then she just sighed in a resigned fashion. "Fine." She said petulantly, though she brightened up when Meredith offered her a glass of water.

"You make a cute patient." Meredith said as she carefully walked Addison to the bathroom.

Addison snorted her amusement and disbelief.

Wanting to give Addison some privacy while she used the facilities, Meredith went back to the bedroom and located some clothes and fresh panties for Addison to put on after her shower before she hurried back to the bathroom.

"Ready?" Meredith queried and received an incoherent grunt in acknowledgement.

Back in the bathroom she found Addison struggling to remove her shirt. "You also make a difficult patient." Meredith scolded and quickly moved to help the redhead with the shirt.

"Do not." Addison pouted.

"Do too." Meredith said softly, doing her best to mute her reaction to the sight of the livid, angry bruising on Addison's torso.

"Oh darling." Meredith could not help but say as she touched one of the bruises with exquisite care.

"It will heal, Meredith." Addison said, waving her hand at her body.

"I know." Meredith said softly.

"You can still try to kiss it better though, if you want." Addison suggested, a trace of her usual tone lacing her voice.

Now there was a challenge Meredith could get into.

Moving Addison to the plastic chair in the shower, Meredith sat her down and then proceeded to remove the brace that encased her foot. Callie had given her explicit instructions on how to put it back and it was customised to Addison's foot so removing it for a few minutes was possible.

Addison would no doubt be tremendously relieved to have her whole body washed.

Kneeling before Addison like this brought to mind more than just kissing Addison's bruises, in fact the thoughts that rushed through Meredith's brain made her face hot with desire and erotic memory. Taking an initiative, Meredith leaned in and kissed a large bruise that graced Addison's knee where it had hit a portion of the car.

"I love you." Meredith murmured, kissing up Addison's thigh, possessed by a power that she could not control.

A strong fingered hand wound itself into Meredith's hair. "I love you too." Addison whispered in reply, moaning slightly as Meredith kissed higher along Addison's thigh.

Exquisitely formed legs opened slightly and Meredith was emboldened, gently moving her lips along Addison's hip and taking great care not to jar Addison's broken foot or freshly operated on knee.

Tight, red curls invited Meredith to move closer and be bolder and as she kissed along their border, Addison moaned openly above her, pouring gasoline on the barely banked fires of Meredith's desire.

That is until Meredith forgot about her own injuries and braced her hand against the shower. "Ouch." She said involuntarily and snatched her hand back to cradle it.

"Damn it." She winced, feeling the threat of frustrated tears erupt.

"Meredith." Addison murmured, her voice sounding rich and delicious.

Looking up, Meredith saw that Addison was looking at her with a look of pure love. "It's okay Meredith, we have the rest of our lives." She said softly.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself and my ribs hurt anyway. You're very hard to resist, impossible to resist actually, so I actually don't care. But I know that if we do something silly now, then later we'll pay a price that was not really worth it." Addison stroked her hands soothingly through Meredith's hair as she spoke.

"Let's shower and then go see what Lexie ordered for dinner. Come on, you too." Addison said, raising an eyebrow at Meredith's still clothed form.

"Okay." Meredith finally relented and the threat of tears disappeared as quickly as it had arrived.

They did have the rest of their lives. Addison was right.

* * *

Eventually they finished their shower, which mainly involved Meredith showering the both of them and then eventually with the reapplication of the foot brace, a check of stitches, applications of topical ointments and then dressing. It was a while before Addison was due to have her next round of medication and until then Meredith hoped to keep her somewhat active and to get some proper food into her as well.

Hopefully by tomorrow Addison would feel well and rested enough to actually feel bored, that might inspire her to do more which would be good. Too much bed rest was simply no good, especially with broken ribs. The threat of a lung infection was already elevated as it was.

Once they were dressed Addison was looking a lot better than she did when she woke up. "Ready to eat?" Meredith asked. "Lexie is really good at dialling for takeout." Meredith added with a smile.

"No one cooks?" Addison inquired, sounding amused.

"Not really. I mean I can do bacon and eggs and toast, but that is about it." Meredith offered as she helped Addison from the room.

"I don't really remember arriving. I behaved I hope." Addison said as she looked around with interest, though while still moving her head with great care.

Concussion was a bitch.

"Yes, you were the perfect lady." Meredith joked and soon they were making their way to the table where Lexie had outdone herself and actually had plates to serve the Chinese that she had obtained on.

"I think I need a pillow to sit on." Addison said mildly, pointing at the hard wood of the chairs. "I think we also need new chairs." Meredith commented as she whipped a cushion off the sofa and a moment later helped Addison sit.

The redhead breathed in deeply. "Feels good to be doing something other than nothing." She said and Meredith wondered what she was thinking.

They really needed to talk more.

Lexie chose that moment to come back to the dining area. "Hi. You're here." She said brightly and Meredith resisted the urge to smile.

Her half sister was certainly very different to Meredith herself. Hard to imagine that they had the same father, but then Lexie's mother had been incredibly different to Meredith's mother, so anything was possible.

"Looks great, Lexie." Addison said, displaying her fine manners. "I'm starving actually, feels like I have not eaten in a week." Addison continued and Meredith smiled at the words.

Addison was definitely feeling better.

"How are you feeling otherwise?" Lexie was braver than Meredith about asking questions.

Maybe Meredith could take note and learn.

"Fine unless I try to walk, move my head or take a deep breath. The pills they gave me are great, but I can't wait to be off them. The heavy sleep of the drugged is really not for me." Addison said and nodded her thanks when Meredith placed a plate full of food in front of her.

Lexie seemed to want to ask something else and Meredith guessed that she was calculating the possible risk of saying the wrong thing. "How are you emotionally?" Lexie finally asked, sounding almost embarrassed actually.

"Sorry, I mean we hardly know each other." Lexie said in a rush and suddenly found her plate of sundry foodstuffs to be fascinating it seemed.

"It's okay." Addison assured her curious sister.

"I have the mandatory scheduled therapy and will make sure I see my therapist in California a couple of times before I move back here." Addison extrapolated between bites of food and Meredith found herself very interested all of a sudden.

"I don't remember much of the crash. I should have been wearing a seatbelt, I may not have broken ribs and a bruised heart if I had. Thank God for airbags." Addison chewed thoughtfully as she spoke and Meredith took the opportunity to eat a little as well, it would help her digest her anti-inflammatory medications later.

"Let's eat." Addison said after a moment and it was a clear signal that she was done talking about things for a while.

"When do you go back to work?" Addison asked Meredith after a few moments.

"Next week, though I do have to go in pretty much every day to tell my interns what to do and to see if I should be doing something specific." Meredith waved her fork around as she spoke.

She did know how to use chopsticks but right now her hands were just too sore.

"Just an hour a day." Meredith added for Addison's benefit.

The rest of the meal was conducted with easy going conversation and some laughter as Addison patiently listened to Meredith's too talkative sister, well, talk. When they were done, Meredith walked Addison to the sofa and then went to help Lexie clear up a little before they would have some tea.

It was all so domestic and calm that it felt almost surreal.

"Where's Alex?" Meredith asked Lexie as they walked back towards where Addison was sitting.

"He's got a double shift." Lexie said and Meredith made a sympathetic noise.

Her roommate would be back in the morning, if then even. He may well sleep at the hospital, Meredith would be tempted to, but that was before she had someone to come home to. It felt good to have a life.

Back at the sofa, Addison was leafing through a magazine and squinting a little. "Does anyone know where my glasses are?" She inquired when Meredith and Lexie returned.

"Um. The crash ate them, along with your phone. I put your SIM card into one of my spare's." Meredith said as she sat down with some tea for her and Addison.

"I've got to go do some reading. I am glad you're feeling better Addison." Lexie said after a few moments and with that she vanished up to her room with tea in hand.

"Your sister is okay." Addison commented as she leaned against Meredith very gently.

"She can take a while, but she grows on you." Meredith conceded and then fell silent as she simply absorbed the feeling of being close to Addison.

This was one of those perfect moments again. Meredith resolved to treasure them from now on and also catalogue them for future reference when she needed a lift.

* * *

"You need to get some magazines when you are out tomorrow." Addison said after a while of silent contemplation.

"I do?" Meredith asked. "You want some medical journals or something?" Meredith asked, curious.

"No, decorating magazines." Addison replied emphatically. "This place needs to be redone." She added with a definitive sniff.

"I see." Meredith said. "Yes, dear." She added for good measure and received a gentle nudge to her ribs as her reward.

"I want to help the costs, Meredith." Addison yawned out the words. "If this is going to be our house, then it is our bills, and our stuff that it contains. And our roommates too." Addison continued.

"I don't have issues with your sister here or even Alex, just so you know for sure." Addison shifted her legs restlessly. "Do you think you can show me around a little?" The redhead asked.

"Absolutely." Meredith agreed at once and a few minutes later she was pushing Addison in her very slim-line wheelchair.

The other woman would not be able to use her crutches much until her ribs had settled down. The main thing was to keep her awake, upright and get her to take some steps.

"Kitchen." Meredith said with an expansive wave of her hand.

"Nice. It will be even nicer though." Addison responded, nodding.

Meredith could practically hear the gears in her head turn as she planned out the extreme makeover. It was fun to watch. "Let's go see the laundry room." Meredith said and pushed her lover towards the space.

"You'll have to stand up to get into it." Meredith said apologetically.

Addison merely huffed gently and rose stiffly to her feet with Meredith's help and along with her crutches, she managed to hobble into the laundry room a few moments later. "This is big enough at least." Addison commented and looked around.

Meredith had been distracted by something in the room so she had failed to notice when Addison had stopped moving and was staring at a corner of the room. "What's that? " Addison asked, her voice sounding funny.

Looking over, Meredith spied what Addison had seen. "It's for Milo." Meredith answered, feeling shy suddenly.

"A covered, filtered box, a bag of toys, scratching posts, and food dishes and a leash too." Meredith elaborated, hoping that Addison did not think that she was too weird.

"You got my cat this?" Addison said softly.

"Our cat." Meredith pointed out and Addison smiled at that.

"And yeah, I mean I assume he will be coming here soon. He'll need stuff and I did not know what he might have so I got everything I could think of, even the number to the nearest vet." Meredith explained as she helped Addison walk back to the kitchen to sit down.

"You're pretty incredible, you know that?" Addison said with a happy sigh.

"I know." Meredith teased back.

Looking out over the backyard, Addison frowned slightly. "We need a Jacuzzi." She stated. "I'll buy it." She added "We also need to redo the yard." Addison continued and relaxed a little into her chair.

"Sounds good to me." Meredith said and wheeled Addison back towards the main living area.

"Just think of all the new and fresh places we'll need to baptise once I am up to par again." Addison said contentedly. "We'll christen some of these old things too, not to worry." Addison reassured Meredith which made Meredith wonder what her face looked like.

Before she could ask the doorbell rang. "What on earth?" Meredith said the words aloud as she moved to answer the door.

Who would be calling at this hour?

Opening the door, Meredith saw Mark Sloan standing there and a man who she did not recognise but who looked somehow familiar. "Mark. What are you doing here?" Meredith asked, quite surprised despite knowing that he was a friend of Addison's.

"Well, I was in the neighbourhood." He said vaguely and looked a little uncomfortable. "Who is this?" Meredith asked, not pleased with Mark's answer.

"That is my father, the Captain." Addison's voice said from behind them.

"Your father?" Meredith asked, quite surprised.

She also wondered if this was a good idea or not. She'd kill mark with her bare hands if Addison was made too upset by this visit.

"Can we talk?" Addison's father asked, sounding almost pleading.

"Sure." Addison replied, moving to the living room without any preamble.

Meredith noted that the relationship between father and daughter was quite chilly and suspected that there was a long story behind it. Maybe she would hear it one day.

"How did you find out?" Addison asked as she stopped in front of the sofa and glanced at Meredith.

Clearly she did not want her father's help.

Meredith moved forward to help Addison and could feel that she was nervous and shaky. Leaning down, Meredith placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and stood protectively next to her. She would not leave until Addison was ready for her to leave.

"This is Doctor Meredith Grey. I will be living with her when I move back to Seattle." Addison said by way of introduction.

A brief handshake followed and there was something hard in Addison's eyes that made Meredith wonder what was going on exactly between them.

"A pleasure." The man said.

"Are you related to Ellis Grey?" He seemed to become aware of who she might be and it made her wonder just exactly how he might know her mother.

"I am her daughter." Meredith replied with a tight smile.

"You favour her." He said softly with another smile on his face.

Meredith could see where Addison got some of her considerable charm from.

"Everyone calls me the Captain." The man continued.

Deciding that she would either call him Mr. Montgomery, or nothing, Meredith nodded and looked at Addison. "You okay?" She asked.

Addison sighed. "I guess so."

"Would you like some tea?" Meredith asked Addison's father and received a pleased smile in response.

"And you?" Meredith asked, touching Addison gently on the arm. "Yes, please." Addison answered in a tone solely for Meredith.

Tea it was then.

With the words, Meredith walked towards the kitchen and snagged Mark's arm along the way.

"Time to let them have some quality time, don't you think?" Meredith suggested not to subtly.

"Fine." Mark said and followed Meredith.

"You know, you have a lot of nerve bringing him here without asking her first." Meredith said as she set about making some tea.

"And you have a lot of nerve thinking that you know what's best for her. I'm her friend. I have known her for ten years." Mark countered as he sat down at the kitchen counter.

"Fine." Meredith said sharply.

"Fine." Mark mimicked and sounded like an annoying older brother much to Meredith's chagrin.

"So, if you two ever want to have a threesome, you know you can call me, right?" Mark said after a beat and Meredith snorted, throwing a tea bag at him.

"You couldn't handle it, pretty boy." Meredith said sweetly.

Mark simply laughed.

" _Little Grey_ broke your penis, Mark. Imagine what _Big Grey_ could do to you." Meredith said in a sotto whisper and at that Mark blushed scarlet.

Score one for Meredith, zero for Mark. Hah!

Once the tea was done the two of them carried it back to the living room where Addison and her father seemed to be winding up their talk.

"Bizzy says she will visit as soon as possible." Meredith heard the _Captain_ say.

Who was Bizzy? Meredith made a mental note to ask Addison about it later.

"Why are you living here anyway? You can afford a much bigger, more splendid place you know." He continued and Meredith bristled at the suggestion that her home was a dump to him.

"Because I want to live with Meredith, dad." Addison said softly and looked thoroughly fed up with the whole visit. "And there is nothing wrong with this house. I love it." Addison concluded in a firm tone and Meredith wanted to kiss her for it and for the words she had just said to her father.

That can't have been easy.

"Oh." He replied. "Ooh. I see." He added after a moment.

"Yes, you do see. I want to live with her because we are together." Addison extrapolated and Meredith saw a widening of the _Captain's_ eyes at that information being confirmed.

"Don't start. I swear if you do, this will be the last time we see each other." Addison said firmly. "We're going to have tea and be civil and then you're going to leave and I will remind Sam to not be so loose lipped about things." Addison continued and bade Meredith to sit down next to her.

And so it went. They had tea, chatted amiably and then it came time for Mark and the _Captain_ to leave. Meredith noted that while Addison showed Mark a degree of open affection, though it was clear that she was pissed at him still, she was chilly towards her father.

There was obviously a complicated story there. Were they ever simple though?

Probably not.

Finally, Meredith was able to shut the front door on her somewhat unwelcome guests and went to find Addison. She fond her lover huddled on the sofa breathing shallowly and looking pale. "Hey, Addison. Easy, darling. Easy." Meredith gathered the redhead up and arranged her in a better position so that her ribs were not so pinched.

Snatching up her phone from the table, she called Lexie. "Meredith?" Came a confused voice on the other end of the line.

"I need your help to get Addison to bed. I would not ask normally, but my hands won't let me do this alone." Meredith said into the phone.

Lexie did not answer, but Meredith could hear the rush of feet as her sister raced to help Meredith. It was somehow unbelievably good to have someone to be able to rely on. Now if only Lexie would grow up a little emotionally, things could become great.

Meredith's musings were interrupted by Lexie rounding the corner at full speed. "Thank you. Just help me support her and watch her vitals. She just had her dad visit and the stress has not been good for her." Meredith said and together, the Grey sisters ferried Addison to bed.

Laying Addison down, Meredith reached for the water and for the painkillers, muscle relaxants and prophylactic antibiotics and dosed them out. "Darling, I know you're upset, but you need to take these and drink some water." Meredith said gently and Addison looked at her with sad eyes before looking down at the pills.

A few moments later, Addison swallowed down her medicines and then scooted lower in the bed. "You want to talk about it?" Meredith asked softly.

"No, I want to be alone right now." Addison mumbled tonelessly in reply.

"Okay." Meredith said and shooed Lexie away before planting a kiss on Addison's temple.

Outside the door, the two women waited. "She'll fall asleep in a few minutes. I'll go back to her then. Thanks for your help, I will call you if I need more." Meredith touched her sister's hand briefly and then turned her attention back to the bedroom.

Lexie murmured something that sounded like goodnight and then made her way back to her own room.

Damn Sloan. He should have called first, at least Addison would have been more prepared. Still, he did have a point, perhaps Meredith did not always know what was best for Addison. That did not mean that Mark knew either though.

Not with Addison so badly injured and not when a simple phone call would have answered the question of if Addison wanted to see her father.

Shaking her head, Meredith cracked the door and could see that Addison was asleep. Creeping in, Meredith quietly prepared for bed and decided that it would not be a bad thing to catch cup on some rest as well, and if nothing else she could read and watch Addison sleep. The main thing was that the redhead could not be alone right now, no matter what she wanted.

It was simply too dangerous as something could happen after all.

* * *

**Chapter 38**

It was sometime early in the morning when Meredith was woken from a light doze by the feel of the bed shifting around her. Opening her eyes, she saw that Addison was slowly sitting up and eventually made it to her feet before she hobbled off to the bathroom under the power of her crutches and her personal grit.

Meredith knew that the redhead's broken ribs had to hurt like hell.

When Addison returned from the bathroom, Meredith was aware of her standing over the bed looking down in the dimness. "I know you're awake, Meredith." Came the whispered words after a moment.

"Yeah." Meredith conceded and waited to see what Addison would do or say next.

"I am tired of being in bed. Can we go out?" Addison asked and Meredith brightened at the thought. "You want to go for a drive, or just sit in the yard, or something?" Meredith asked as she sat up and rose to her feet.

"Maybe we can go to the yard." Addison said and hobbled around to the dresser where Meredith had put her clothes.

"I want to see how much I can do for myself." Addison said simply when Meredith moved to help her.

It made sense, Addison was an independent, adult woman. Meredith would feel the same in her position.

In ten minutes they had helped each other get dressed in sweats and Meredith had gathered up a couple of cuddly fleece blankets and they were making their way downstairs. Addison did not concede to sit in her chair, so they eventually went outside and settled into the swing that graced Meredith's porch.

A cushion for Addison and blankets for both and they were settled. Meredith had taken the precaution of tucking the wheelchair close by, albeit folded out of the way. Addison was simply going to have to tolerate some hovering, her injuries were no casual matter at all, and Meredith could not afford to be at all sanguine about them at this stage, or any stage really.

"I don't want to talk about my father right now." Addison said after a few minutes of comfortable silence had passed. "It's kind of like with your mother. You will talk about it, but it has to the right time." Addison continued and Meredith was happy with that answer.

She'd wait forever if needed. If there was something she did understand it was just how fucked up and conflicted things could be when it came to family.

"I am afraid to drive." Addison murmured after a while. "I know it's silly, but it is how I feel right now." Addison kept speaking and Meredith gave her lover her full attention, listening and simply holding her hand without moving.

"We need to go to California and get the cat, and my stuff, and my car." Addison said after a moment. "And I need to tie off some loose ends and quit my job." She continued.

"And we have to get the house redone. Seriously, Meredith. No disrespect intended towards your late mother, but it just won't do." Addison's voice sounded much happier at this last bit.

"We'll hire people to do the heavy stuff." Meredith reassured Addison and ran her fingers along the back of her hand in a random pattern.

"Get those magazines tomorrow." Addison reminded Meredith before she gingerly leaned back into the swing.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Meredith asked, observing Addison's movements.

"Rehabilitation is going to be a bitch." Addison remarked in reply to Meredith's question.

It told her enough. Addison was in pain, but not so much that she was going to let it stop her or even slow her down much. Good.

"How about your hands?" Addison queried from Meredith.

"They ache, but Callie assures me that if I am good, I will be good as new in no more than two weeks." Meredith answered, flexing her sore fingers and examining them carefully.

"Bailey tells me you created quite a scene. Richard also came to visit and warned me not to hurt you." Addison remarked, concern and amusement warring together in her tone.

"Did he?" Meredith did not know what to make of that. "As for me creating a scene, well Hunt was ready to give up on you. I would not allow it and neither would Bailey." Meredith did not really want to revisit the emotions and memories from a few nights ago when this insanity had occurred.

"I'd never give up on you." Meredith mumbled, feeling vulnerable all of a sudden.

"Come here." Addison whispered and ever so gently pulled on Meredith.

Adjusting her position with great care, Meredith laid her head on Addison as softly as she could and closed her eyes with contentment, sighing. "You feel good, even all broken and stuff." Meredith commented as long fingered hands entwined themselves into her hair.

"So do you." Addison replied, placing a gentle kiss into Meredith's hair.

It felt so good simply to sit and be quiet and loved and alive.

* * *

"Come on. I'll make your breakfast." Meredith said after they had sat outside long enough to see the predawn arrive.

"Okay." Addison said easily and with Meredith's help they made their way indoors.

"You have wireless?" Addison queried as she settled herself in the kitchen.

"Yeah." Meredith said as she dug out eggs and bacon and bread and coffee and orange juice.

"You need to go online?" Meredith asked.

"People are probably going crazy with not really being able to get hold of me." Addison murmured. "I have had my phone screen all my calls." She added. "Or well your phone. I need to go shopping." Addison murmured and yawned.

"You watch the coffee, I'll get your laptop. Do you have spare glasses someplace?" Meredith asked as she set the coffee to percolate, pausing to kiss Addison on the cheek as she passed by her.

"Not really. I'll get Sam to send me some spares from LA." Addison answered as she shifted in her seat.

"Maybe in a few days we can go out and get you a phone. There have to be places nearby that have something you could use until you feel well enough to get what you really need." Meredith offered as she headed towards the bedroom to fetch Addison's laptop bag.

"Okay." Addison called after her and Meredith smiled.

This felt very domestic and nice and as an afterthought Meredith also grabbed her own laptop bag and headed back to the kitchen with both bags in tow. "I'll set it up for you, it's too heavy for you to lift right now." Meredith said firmly and went to work at setting out the computer an putting its peripherals within easy reach as she plugged it into a nearby outlet.

"You'll need the wireless password." Meredith said unnecessarily, quickly writing it down on a piece of notepaper for Addison to keep and memorise.

"Thanks." Addison commented and turned her computer on.

Meredith for her part set about making breakfast. She was starving and without a doubt Addison would also be hungry and she needed the energy to heal after all.

"You know, for someone who does not cook you look pretty good at making bacon and eggs." Addison commented as Meredith tamed her frying pan next to the stove.

"This is hardly a five star dish." Meredith said and neatly put the eggs and bacon onto a plate and buttered some toast to go with it.

"Here, eat." Meredith said setting the plate near Addison and adding a glass of orange juice and coffee next to it.

"Thank you." Addison murmured and glanced at Meredith with a smile.

"Hmm." Addison said after a few more minutes had passed and Meredith was sitting down to eat her own breakfast.

"What?" Meredith asked, before she took a healthy bite of food.

Delicious. There was a reason she had learned to cook breakfast. It was worth it and comparatively simple as well.

"Well, I have about one hundred emails, most of them are asking me if I am okay, I just did a mass reply. I really don't have the energy or inclination to be more attentive." Addison said before she in turn took a bite of food.

"This is great, Meredith. I don't think I have had bacon this good since the last time." Addison said with a smile and glanced up at Meredith, who blushed a little.

"I just sent an email informing my colleagues of my intention to return to Seattle." Addison continued.

She had made short work of the food and was now energetically sipping her orange juice and looking better than she had in days. Meredith was infinitely pleased to see this. She had been so worried for Addison last night when the redhead had been upset by her father.

Stupid Mark Sloan.

"I've been offered a job in London." Addison said after a moment and Meredith felt her stomach plunge to the floor.

"You have?" Meredith hoped that her voice sounded somewhat normal even if she felt like she was going to pass out.

She had just found Addison and had already almost lost her already.

"Don't sound so surprised. I am famous you know." Addison said and winked at Meredith. "And brilliant, and most important at all, I am modest too." Addison continued and sighed minutely at her own joke.

Meredith mechanically chewed her food and wondered what she should say. On the one hand, she wanted Addison to live her life and fulfil her potential. It was true, Addison was brilliant and renowned. Hospitals, institutions and clinics everywhere would be glad to give her the salary she wanted and whatever other benefits she saw fit to ask for, just so they could have her working for them.

Did Addison get a lot of email from other countries asking her to work overseas?

However, on the other hand, Meredith had only just found Addison and the thought of losing her was unbearable and Meredith was all confused inside as a consequence. What should she say? What did one say to communicate both desires?

"Hey, you okay?" Addison seemed to realise that Meredith had not spoken in a while.

"How are you feeling?" Meredith asked, not only because she was curious, but to stall the conversation a little while she tried to work out what she wanted to say.

"I need glasses and have to take my medication. I'm okay though." Addison replied automatically. "What's wrong?" She asked reaching for Meredith hand as she pressed for an answer to her previous question.

"Hey. Look at me." Addison implored and Meredith raised her eyes to look at Addison.

It was almost too much, to have this much, but to know that she could lose it so easily.

"Will you take the job in London?" Meredith blurted out.

"What? What makes you ask that?" Addison asked, turning her full focus on Meredith.

"Your brilliant, sought after; you could have anything you wanted." Meredith said finally. "I am simply a Resident and I am just Meredith Grey, doctor of who knows what, eventually." She added, shrugging.

"I don't want you to not live your life or something because of me." She finished off and wondered if she had said the wrong thing or fucked something up.

"Meredith." Addison said softly and attempted to get up to move closer to Meredith. "Damn it." She exclaimed and then tried again, gaining her feet and shuffling over to Meredith with the aid of a crutch and the edge of the counter.

"Meredith." She repeated when she stopped in front of Meredith. "I have what I want in life. I have you. My life starts here." Addison leaned in as she said this and kissed Meredith gently, fully, with all of herself.

"I can't wait to see what the future holds with you at my side." Addison whispered after they parted. "You're hardly simple, you know." She added and Meredith smiled.

Whatever insecurities that Meredith was having flew out of the window with that kiss and with those words. "I love you." Addison whispered into Meredith's ear as she leaned in gently and Meredith closed her eyes and let the words wash over her.

"I love you too." Meredith murmured and smiled against Addison's hair.

"I really do." She added and ran her hands gently along her lover's form, as if to reassure herself that Addison was really alive and there with her.

"Always ask me, Meredith, if you have a question like this. Silence about the important things can quickly become a problem that is hard to fix." Addison said as she pulled away. "You don't ever need to guess, just ask me, okay?" She added.

Meredith nodded her understanding. "You too." She said, wanting to make sure that Addison knew that she was on the same page as her about things.

Both in the give and take aspects of it.

"Come on, let's get you your medicine and make the sofa comfortable for you. I bet you're fed up with the bed for now, hmm?" Meredith said. "I'll bring your computer over to you when I have you settled, we can work in there." Meredith continued.

"Sounds good." Addison agreed and soon they were making their way to the sofa and Meredith fussed a little with pillows and blankets before returning to the kitchen to clear up and bring Addison her pills and computer.

Arriving back in the living room she situated the computer and handed Addison her pills. "Sorry, I know you hate how they make you feel, but they will help you heal. The last thing we need is cramps or muscle tears right now." Meredith said when Addison made a face at her.

"Yeah, I know." Addison conceded and Meredith could not help but smile as the redhead took her pills.

Meredith would lay serious money on Addison having been an utterly adorable child, but then thoughts of Addison being a child vanished when Meredith watched that elegant throat swallow. Addison did have an exquisite neck and Meredith could feel her own temperature rise as she thought about it.

Blinking, Meredith looked at Addison's face again and the knowing smile on those moistened lips made Meredith shiver. Hopefully they would heal quickly, Meredith was beginning to feel like a horny teenager.

Oh who was she kidding, she had been feeling this way since the moment she had kissed Addison in the Residents Lounge a whole lifetime ago it seemed.

"You're not computing?" Addison asked, breaking the sexual tension a little.

"My hands hurt when I type or click the mouse." Meredith explained, holding up her hands and wiggling her fingers slightly.

"I'll keep you company, though." She offered and sat down next to Addison.

Addison snatched up one of her hands and examined it intently. "Callie says you'll be ok?" Addison queried as she gently massaged Meredith's aching hand.

It felt heavenly.

"Uh, yeah." Meredith was reduced to mush as Addison eased the cramps in her hands with her obviously very multitalented fingers.

"Good." Addison said succinctly. "I have a vested interest in your hands and just as soon as I feel like I can take a deep breath without screaming, I intend to put that interest into play." She continued and Meredith laughed out loud at that.

"You're so bad." Meredith said with delight.

"You like me that way." Addison's riposte was good natured and Meredith had to concede that the redhead was right.

"Love you that way, actually." Meredith amended Addison's statement.

Addison smiled brilliantly for Meredith and reached for her other hand to massage.

* * *

**Chapter 39**

It was getting to the time when Meredith had to go report to the hospital. Even on sick leave she really have things she had to do, not least of which was get some interior decorating magazines and while she was at it get some house and garden one as well.

Meredith was very reluctant to leave Addison alone though and this was proving to be a dilemma that she was considering when the doorbell rang.

This had better not be Addison's father again.

Moving to answer the door, Meredith opened it to discover Derek standing on her doorstep.

"Derek?" Meredith was more surprised than anything else.

"Hi." He said brightly, seeming to be just as surprised as she was about being there.

"I brought some food, and your mail, and some paperwork for Addison." He extrapolated, smiling hopefully.

"Oh, I see. Come in." Meredith said and stepped aside.

"What's that?" Meredith asked, pointing at the bag in his hand.

"Clam chowder. She likes it." Derek said simply, handing her the bag.

"Does she?" Meredith filed this information away for further use.

She hoped that she would be able to say things like this about Addison as time went by. "Can you do me a favour?" Meredith asked as they walked into the house. "If Addison is okay with it, I mean." Meredith was quick to amend.

It was entirely possible that Addison would beat Derek with her crutches when they saw each other, in which case Meredith was going to have to resort to some other solution. "I need to go out for about two hours, how long can you be here?" Meredith asked as they arrived in the kitchen.

"I can do that." Derek said, not even hesitating.

"You'll behave?" Meredith asked pointedly.

She would eviscerate him if he upset Addison or caused any problems at this stage. "Mark Idiot Sloan brought her father to visit yesterday. That is more than enough upset for a week considering her condition." Meredith said as she put out some bowls to serve the chowder and reached for the bag.

"He did that?" Derek sounded shocked and appalled.

Good.

"Yep. I thought she was going to have a stroke right in the hallway." Meredith said, feeling the irritation she had felt at the audacity of Addison's father and the stupidity of Mark rise as she remembered the event.

"Mark can be really stupid sometimes." Derek said, sounding thoughtful.

"Well, I believe they call that the human condition." Meredith said as she dished out the chowder and wondered if she should serve bread with it.

"Where's Addison?" Derek asked, looking around.

"She is asleep on the sofa." Meredith said, waving a spoon in the direction of the living area.

"No, she's not." Came a voice and a moment later, Addison hobbled into view, looking van.

"Sweetheart. I don't think you should be standing right now." Meredith dropped her spoon as she said that and moved to help Addison to sit in the wheelchair which occupied the kitchen at this time.

"I hate this." Addison hissed angrily as she rubbed her sore arms.

Crutches were a bitch.

"What are you doing here?" Addison queried as Meredith ran her hands over Addison's arms and analysed the vitals she could detect at the same time.

"I brought chowder." Derek said, pointing to the kitchen counter. "Meredith let me in." He was quick to add.

It seemed that he was afraid of Addison, something which Meredith found amusing.

"I was going to ask him to stay while I have to go out, but only if it is okay with you." Meredith said to her lover and then she kneeled down to be at eye level with Addison so she would not miss any part of what she might have to say.

"Fine." Addison said tiredly. "But he had better behave." She added and closed her eyes, looking sick, tired and exhausted.

"Listen, let me call someone and you can stay as well, Meredith." Derek offered, looking concerned.

Meredith did not have to think twice. "Okay." She said gratefully, she really did not want to leave Addison and it had nothing to do with Derek; it had everything to do with Addison.

"Make a list of what you need to do, or get." Derek said and Meredith proceeded to rummage around a drawer for pen and paper.

Maybe she could at least get to a news stand if Addison was feeling better, but she would be more than happy to let Derek handle whatever she needed to do at the hospital today. Addison did not look well and while Meredith knew it was not to be unexpected, she was still not consciously willing to leave the other woman's side.

"Here." Meredith handed Derek a list of things she needed to do at the hospital and he took it before going to the living room to make some calls.

"I guess it helps to have the Chief of Surgery on your side." Addison commented as she leaned back wearily.

"I only need you by my side." Meredith answered and gathered Addison into her arms gently, wanting to do anything to make her feel better.

"At least I won't steal your ideas for a clinical study and claim they are my own." Addison said with no little bite in her voice.

Meredith blinked at the words, feeling a blush crawl up her neck. "Don't be modest, Meredith. It was your idea. Don't let anyone tell you that you are merely a Resident. There is no such thing. Life is what you make of it and with you, life could be anything. Don't ever think otherwise, ever." Addison said with great clarity.

"Also, next time you have a brilliant idea, don't let someone steal it from you." She added and ran her hand along Meredith's face with a touch that was soft and light.

"I won't." Meredith leaned into the touch slightly, feeling it soothe the many wounds that she carried inside of herself.

Maybe it would not fix anything, but it certainly helped things hurt less.

"I need more pain pills and a shower. I suppose I should also eat. Then I have to rest some more. Sorry for being such great company." Addison sounded cross with herself as she spoke.

"I don't need you to be great company, Addison. I only need you to be you and I need you to be alive of course and I need you in my life." Meredith replied, grabbing the hand that was exploring her face and bringing it to her mouth to kiss the coveted fingertips gently.

"All set." Derek said as he walked back into the room.

Meredith looked over at him and saw that he did not know where to look due to having caught them in such an intimate position. Too bad for him, there was no way that Meredith was going to pull away from Addison again for any reason. Everyone was just going to have to deal with it.

"Let's eat." Meredith suggested and Addison seemed to brighten at the prospect.

Maybe she would sleep soon and Meredith could make a dash to the corner store a couple of blocks away and get the requested and required magazines. Derek would be able to watch over the sleeping Addison for a few minutes.

Despite whatever flaws he had, he had a good heart and no harm would come to Addison while she was under his care.

This was something that Meredith knew in her heart of hearts.

* * *

Meredith was in a hurry. She wanted to get back to Addison as soon as possible as no matter what Mark Sloan had to say about it, Meredith did have Addison's best interests at heart.

So, with an armful of magazines and two pizza boxes in hand, she made her way back to her house as fast as she could. By her estimate, she had been gone about forty five minutes by the time she entered her front door again. Walking into the kitchen to deposit her load, she stopped in her tracks.

"Alex!" Meredith said, happy to see her friend despite the possible conflict of interests that he may represent.

"Here, you can bring this up to Lexie and share it with her if you like." Meredith said and handed him one of the pizzas.

"So Addison is living here now?" Alex said in his usual brusque style.

"Yep. You cool with that?" Meredith asked, hoping that he would be.

"I guess I have to be." He said as she examined the contents of the pizza box.

"I will leave you two to have this argument. I need to go pick something up before I come and say goodbye to Addison." Derek said pleasantly and smiled at Meredith before he left the room.

A moment later Meredith heard the front door open and shut and he was gone.

"Alex?" Meredith pressed her friend. "Technically this is my house and I will do as I please, but you do live here and I don't want us to have issues if we can avoid them." Meredith was starting to feel tired about being a mediator between everyone.

At least Lexie seemed to be totally cool with everything thus far.

"Just give me some time to get used to the idea, okay?" Alex allowed before he too disappeared from the room, pizza in hand.

"Well, that certainly went well." Meredith said to herself as she sat down and lowered her head to the table.

She was feeling tired. Maybe she would join Addison and take a nap. They could always enjoy cold pizza later.

And where had Derek gone?

Rising tiredly to her feet, Meredith opened the pizza box and suddenly felt very hungry. She wondered if Addison was awake yet. Well, there was one way to find out and with that thought, Meredith headed towards the bedroom with pizza in one hand and a roll of paper towels in the other.

Quietly she opened the door to discover Addison sitting up in the bed and looking around. "I have pizza." Meredith announced as she entered the room.

Addison smiled at her. "Great, I am starving." She said and patted the bed beside her. "I'd rather eat you though, but I am afraid if I try I will end up with one of my ribs sticking out of my belly button." Addison said as Meredith sat down.

"Well, I can at least kiss you." Meredith replied and leaned in to do just that.

The kiss was steamy and warmed Meredith up to her core. "I can't wait to feel better." Addison murmured against Meredith's lips.

"Me either." Meredith concurred.

The doorbell rang and there was a rush of footsteps to go answer it. Meredith was no really paying much attention though. Addison was running one of her long fingers along Meredith's arm making it hard for her to focus. It seemed like forever since they had made love, an entire lifetime, actually.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and Lexie leaning into the room. "That was Derek. He brought this and said to feel better and call him if you needed anything." Lexie put a plastic bag on the floor next to the door and then she closed the door once more.

"We have to teach her to wait until one of us says _come in_." Addison said as Meredith got up to fetch the bag.

"Yes, you do that." Meredith said distractedly, poking around in the bag.

"Addison?" She said, holding up what looked like a box to an iPhone and walking towards the bed.

"You sent Derek shopping?" She asked, almost wanting to laugh.

It seemed that Addison Montgomery had powers that Meredith had only just begun to explore. "Yep." Addison said, reaching for the bag and the box.

"This is for you." Addison said in a sing-song way as she handed Meredith the iPhone.

"And this is for me!" Addison said holding up the box that said Blackberry 9700 on it.

"You got me an iPhone?" Meredith asked.

"Yep!" Addison said happily as she dug into her own box.

"Thank you." Meredith said, realising that this was important to Addison.

An iPhone. Wow.

"I wanted one of these." Addison said holding up her own new gizmo. "Just wish a car crash had not been the reason for me to have to get one.

Meredith said down next to Addison and the pizza and looked at the box in her hands. It felt like a birthday party that she had never really had as a child and with a sudden feeling of glee, Meredith dug into her own box, wanting to see her new toy.

As packing pieces and boxes got strewn all over, Meredith realised that it did not matter that she had never had a birthday party really. What mattered was right now and that she was sharing this moment with Addison.

* * *

**Chapter 40**

Two weeks had passed since Addison had been hit by the drunk driver and they had gone relatively smoothly. Meredith's hands had healed to the point where she was back at work full time and Addison had healed to the point where she only required a cane most of the time and wheelchair had been sent back to the hospital.

Addison herself had not returned to full duty by any means, but she was to be seen in the corridors of the hospital once more as she moved between consultation, the skills lab, an office where she was catching up with her paperwork, and rehabilitation and physical therapy. At various times she had a trail of Residents or Interns following behind her, but mainly they were acting as gophers, albeit happy ones.

Meredith expected that it would be another week before Addison was ready to stand in an OR once more for a protracted amount of time, but she had been tending to patients and doing simpler procedures in examination rooms and overall, everyone seemed happy with how things were going.

The drunk driver who had hit Addison had landed with a bill that had pretty much wiped him clean. Addison's lawyers were also in the process of filing a civil suit in addition to the criminal one that the city was making against him and gradually Meredith's desire to find the man and stomp on him like the bug that he was, had shifted to the background of her mind.

He would receive jail time, his reputation was ruined and he was financially devastated. Meredith's less forgiving side was pleased with this, though she made no promised should she ever cross paths with the man in her life and know who she was.

It had also been two weeks or more since Meredith had made love with Addison and the strain was starting to show on both of them. Not wanting to do anything that would impede especially Addison's healing, their physical interactions had been limited to several make-out sessions that had made the wallpaper blush and some instances of extreme intensity in showers, while getting dressed, and while sitting around the house doing mundane but delightful things.

Walking through the hospital in search of the woman who was occupying her thoughts, Meredith cast her mind back to one of the more recent ones that had burned itself into Meredith's memory for more reasons than one:

_"I don't want white walls. Can't we have some other colour in the bedroom?" Meredith asked as they sat together at the kitchen counter clipping through magazines that were now dog-eared and well thumbed._

_"I suppose so. Just not some shade of beige. I don't like beige as a wall colour." Addison had conceded as the legal pad they were sketching in and writing notes in was doodled in some more._

_The drawing that Derek had made in the bedroom so long ago did need to be covered by a paint that would cover it, and that was just a start._

_So far their plans for the house were progressing nicely. They sat most nights talking about what should be done where and laying out designs and ideas. Addison had said that when it came to execution, they would hire a designer to ensure that the whole would become the magnificence that it's parts allowed._

_As they scribbled and scrabbled over notepads and design ideas and coffee, Meredith considered that it was somehow remarkable how quickly their relationship had progressed over a remarkably short period of time._

_"No footboard on the bed." Addison had put her foot down about this._

_"Why not?" Meredith had inquired that day while they sat in the kitchen._

_"Think about it." Addison had teased and Meredith had done her best to do just that but had come up with a blank._

_"You're so cute." Addison had teased her and thrown a wadded up piece of paper at her as she had smiled brilliantly and then taken Meredith's hand._

_"Am not." Meredith had mumbled. "You are." Addison had countered._

_"We sound like an old married couple." Addison had then joked and Meredith had frozen in her tracks at that statement._

_Was Addison joking? Surely not._

_"Hey." Addison had risen to her feet and shuffled over to Meredith and even in her frozen state of being Meredith had noted that there no longer was any stiffness in Addison's movements and she seemed to be relatively pain free._

_"Hey, you okay?" Addison had repeated and Meredith had leaned into her and her touch when she had felt whose coveted arms wrap around her and comfort her._

_"Yes, I'm fine." Meredith had answered._

_"I was joking." Addison said softly. "Were you?" Meredith had countered._

_"No, not really." Addison had replied. "Good." Meredith had answered._

_A gentle kiss had followed, one of those kisses that promised Meredith the world, and the moon and the stars as well. All she had to do was reach out and take them and lately Meredith had decided that she had the courage to do just that._

_"I love you." Addison had said as she kissed along the side of Meredith's neck towards the collar of her shirt._

_Suffused with hot desire and a riot of emotions, Meredith had felt dizzy already, but the declaration of love on top of it had sent her head spinning._

_"I love you too." She had whispered before bringing Addison's head up for another kiss that had shattered them both with its intensity and heat._

_Only the possibility of hurting Addison had stopped Meredith from bending her over the kitchen counter and fucking her right there until she screamed. From the look that Addison had given her when they eventually parted, there was only the barest thread of self control holding Addison back as well._

It was an excellent memory and now Meredith was marching through the hospital in search of the woman who filled it and who filled her heart. She wanted a kiss and to invite her to lunch. Hopefully she would be able to achieve both goals before too long and hopefully the cafeteria would be serving something edible as well.

Meredith pulled out her phone and smiled. The iPhone that Addison had given her had instantly become a hit, not only with her, but with Cristina as well, who would periodically pickpocket it from Meredith and play one of the games that she had installed on it specifically so that Cristina would have a distraction.

Really, it was just too cute to see her brilliant friend so enraptured by simple games like pong and snake and tetris.

In any case, Meredith had migrated over to her new phone at once and now kept her old phone purely as a backup should one ever be needed. How had she lived before this iPhone?

Meredith had no idea but right now she was on a mission so she quickly sent a text message to Addison. It would save them both time if Meredith stopped wandering aimlessly and actually knew where the redhead was.

Hopefully she was in her office, then Meredith could fetch lunch and bring it to her and hopefully have some private moments with her girlfriend before they had to proceed with their daily duties.

One could always hope and with that thought in mind, Meredith hit send. Now it was just a matter of waiting and seeing what might happen next.

She could hardly wait to find out.

* * *

_In my office. Addie_

This had been the reply from Addison to the text that had been sent and now Meredith was making her way there at full steam with two quite tasty looking salads with condiments in tow.

She had a longer lunch today as her Attending was busy and her interns were studying, so hopefully she would be able to spend some time with Addison in peace and quiet. The redhead's office was tucked out of the way in the _Vagina Wing_ , as Alex liked to call it. That still sort of cracked Meredith up.

Thankfully Alex himself had settled down after some days of awkwardness and was now his usual, oblivious and grumpy self towards Meredith, Addison and everyone else. So on that front all was normal. The only less than normal thing was the distinct knot of sexual tension that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in Meredith's lower abdomen.

The effect that Addison had on her was profound. She could not remember ever really having experienced such hunger for someone before. It seemed as if every nerve ending in her body was just begging to be touched and caressed and kissed by Addison and each moment, each heartbeat just seemed to intensify that desire.

Now however, it was time for lunch and time to spend some time with the object of her obsessions.

It helped that Meredith simply liked Addison as well. Love alone would not have explained her fascination with the redhead's every aspect. Addison was funny, moody, flawed, and perfect. Meredith was fairly certain that she had never been so interested in anyone in her life, perhaps even her own mother included.

Addison was a mystery that Meredith stood a good chance of solving, or at least she could get to know the other woman over a lifetime. The chance to know her mother was long past. Now she only had old diaries, memories that were biased and vague at best, and the every present knowledge that for the time being at least she was in her mother's considerable shadow, at least in the eyes of some.

Richard had really begun to see Meredith as her own, independent, grown up and individual person and of course Addison was not at all in awe of Meredith's mother. They had only briefly touched upon their mutual mommy-issues, but Meredith expected that in time Addison would begin to tell more.

Meredith had heard or read a quote someplace once which went something like, _it's good to wash the past_. The meaning of this quote had taken her time to discern, but eventually it had clicked in her mind. So maybe soon enough she and Addison could begin to was their pasts and thus try to ensure that their present and especially their future remained mostly unsullied by it.

Bringing her focus back to the present, Meredith paused only to knock briefly on Addison's door before she turned the handle and stepped into the tiny space that the redhead used as her office. A doctor of Addison's prestige and renown could have commanded a much larger space, but Addison had said that she did not want too much space around her as it tended to get filled with clutter and people and made it hard to work.

Meredith could understand that.

"Hi." Meredith said with a smile, noting that Addison was resting on the small sofa that her office contained.

No doubt her knee, ribs, everything began to ache after a long day of even mostly sitting. Meredith quashed the urge to make a big deal of it, though. Addison was quite tired of being babied, even though she was still at greatly reduced capacity.

"Hi." Addison replied happily and patted the sofa next to her.

"I have lunch." Meredith announced and held up the items in question.

"Fantastic. I am starving but was thinking of skipping lunch. The trek down to the cafeteria was really going to be too much for today." Addison extrapolated as she shifted aside and grabbed the boxes of food from Meredith.

"You okay?" Meredith could not resist asking.

It was not babying, it was asking someone she loved if she was okay.

"Yeah, just achy and tired. It's rough to sit all day." Addison said with a good natured wave of her hand.

Meredith smiled at that.

She loved Addison's sense of humour.

"Next time, if I am not here bringing you my sparkling personality and lunch, send one of your minions to get you lunch, or order in." Meredith admonished gently as they opened their salads and prepared to eat.

"Good idea." Addison said and happily took a bite of her salad.

Smiling, Meredith followed her example and hope that her lunch period would go slowly. She missed Addison even though they spent most of their free time together.

Love was a curious condition, as was planning a life together. It was a curiously wonderful condition, actually.

* * *

With salad eaten, the two of them were now resting quietly on the sofa, simply enjoying each other's company. Meredith speculated that Addison was actually much more tired than she made herself out to be and was glad that the weekend was coming up. Unlike Meredith, the good Doctor Montgomery would not have to work at all on the weekend and so would hopefully end up getting some much needed rest.

Two weeks was not a long time when compared to the severity of her injuries and Meredith was determined to ensure that the redhead did not strain herself, no matter how invincible she felt that she was. A setback at this stage would not bode well for anyone, but most especially not Addison.

"What are you thinking about?" Addison asked after some comfortable minutes had passed in salad digestion.

"About you." Meredith answered, looking over at Addison and smiling.

"Oh?" Addison remarked, raising an eyebrow. "Good thoughts I hope." She added.

"Of course." Meredith said, amusement colouring her tone. "Very good ones." Meredith added, suddenly acutely aware of the proximity of Addison and of the not very thick fabric of the scrubs that they were wearing.

It suddenly felt very hot in Addison's office.

"Tell me the thought that is making you have that expression." Addison demanded softly, trailing her fingers down Meredith's face and along her neck.

"I could show you." Meredith offered, her voice low and hungry.

"Please do." Addison replied, looking interested and ravishing at the same time.

Meredith swallowed, every so carefully leaning in to kiss Addison. The kiss was gentle, soft. Tender. It was also filled with heat, lust and want and in mere moments ignited to something that showed them both just how desperate they were for the further consummation of their relationship.

A strong hand wove its way into Meredith's hair and pulled her closer, tighter in and Addison then demanded entrance to Meredith's mouth with her tongue. Meredith willingly gave it and when she did, the fire of arousal that had been burning in her blood for weeks flared into an inferno.

The way Addison tasted, her scene, how she felt. All of these things fed the flames and Meredith wanted more. Had to have more. Needed more. Now.

A muffled sound of pain reached her ears and in the blink of an eye, the flames in Meredith were extinguished. "Addie?" Meredith asked, concerned.

Addison was holding her side and gasping for breath. "Damn my ribs." She moaned angrily, her face flushed with arousal and her breathing heavy still.

"Ah." Meredith said with concern, gently rising to her feet and helping Addison adjust her position to take the strain off the bones in question.

Addison looked pissed, and in pain, and terribly frustrated. Meredith could not blame her. Still, there was no way that they were going to risk hurting Addison at this time, not when full recovery was in sight and she was doing so well.

However, there were other options as to what they could do with the rest of their lunch period. "Scoot over a little." Meredith asked and then carefully climbed onto the sofa and positioned herself gently behind Addison.

Wrapping an arm around the other woman's hip, Meredith buried her nose in soft, sweet smelling hair and hummed her satisfaction. "There." She murmured. "We'll be okay, darling. We just need to be patient for a little while longer." Meredith murmured.

"Hmm." Addison seemed to murmur her assent and Meredith closed her eyes at that and gave herself over to holding Addison.

It felt good.

Very good.

Long minutes past and Meredith realised that they were both going to fall asleep if they were not careful. Time for conversation or something to keep them awake.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Meredith asked softly, kissing the back of Addison's hair.

"Just wondering about life." Addison said vaguely, sounding sleepy.

"Such as?" Meredith probed gently.

"Do we get a dog someday to go with the cat?" Addison asked.

Milo the cat had taken up residence in the house a week after Addison had arrived, having been flown up first class as soon as it had been practical to do so.

"A dog?" Meredith did not have any objections, but she was curious about where Addison's mind was going.

"Yeah." Addison commented.

"Sure I guess." Meredith said easily.

"Hmm." Addison said contentedly.

_Why was Addison asking about dogs?_ Meredith wondered as she lay peacefully on the sofa.

"Would the dog go with say, kids?" Meredith hoped she was on the right track here.

"Yeah." Addison said after a moment.

"I like that idea." Meredith said and surprised herself by actually meaning it.

"You do?" Addison seemed tentative as she asked that question.

It made Meredith wonder why Addison was so tentative, exactly. Aside from the obvious reasons that she herself was unable to have children of her own, biologically anyway.

"Yeah, I do." Meredith was happy to reassure the redhead. "Someday." Meredith added.

"Yeah, someday for sure." Addison concurred, seeming to agree with the sentiment that they would not be having kids tomorrow or next year or anything like that.

"How many?" Addison asked after a few more moments had passed.

"Um. I dunno. At least two? I always wanted someone to play with as a kid. A brother or something." Meredith replied in all seriousness. "Three would also work." Meredith continued.

Addison squeezed her hand where it rested on her hip and sighed a happy sound.

"You'll make a wonderful mother someday." Addison said after a beat.

Meredith hoped that would be the case. She really did.

"Well, as long as I have you by my side, I won't be too worried about messing it up." Meredith eventually said.

"Ditto." Addison murmured.

Snuggling into Addison a little tighter, Meredith closed her eyes and considered that this was one of the better lunches she had experienced in a long time.

"I love you." Meredith whispered.

"Love you too." Addison mumbled, sounding half asleep already.

Meredith did not know how she was going to get up and leave once her own lunch was over. She supposed she would figure it out when the time came. ****


	3. Part 03

**DISCLAIMER:** They are not mine, I'm just rubbing them together to see what happens. The story however, is mine. (as are any original characters or concepts in it)  
 **SPOILERS:** Yes (most seasons one way or another)

  
**By The Raven**

**Chapter 41**

By the time evening fell, Meredith was eager to get out of the hospital and go home. She wanted to eat takeout, look at interior decorating magazines and cuddle with Addison on the couch while Milo chased dust bunnies in the corners.

It was all so disgustingly domestic that Meredith was delighted.

However, first she had to finish her shift and thanks to the laws of averages, or perhaps Murphy's Law, Meredith was stuck in the hospital with only Cristina as company and the woman in question was busily playing tetris on Meredith's phone at the moment and not being especially interactive.

They were sitting together in a corridor waiting for their respective Attending doctors to summon them to surgery and the clock on the wall seemed to mock Meredith as she watched the minute hand crawl at the enthusiastic speed of a salted slug.

"How are things with you and Owen?" Meredith asked by way of filling the air with sound.

Not that filling silences was needed with Cristina, but Meredith was bored and wanted something else to think about as she waited to leave work. This was a departure from who she had been just six months ago. Then she would have found reasons to stay at work and that made her wonder.

Could she be a surgeon and be into family at the same time?

Meredith was determined to not become her mother, or Richard, or even Cristina. There were aspects of all three people that were admirable and certainly she would and should emulate, but their lack of attention to their private lives was not one of them. Or well, apparent lack of attention.

In reality, Meredith could only speculate from her own point of view exactly what were the motivations and aspirations and complications that stopped those three doctors from being able to devote more time to non work things.

"Okay I guess." Cristina replied at last when she finally lost at tetris and activated the snake game in Meredith's phone.

"He's not being so Rambo-like anymore and he has gone back to therapy." Cristina elaborated as she chased dots on the screen of Meredith's phone.

It would never occur to Meredith to question her friend and her fascination with Meredith's iPhone. She was just happy to have Cristina sit next to her and hang out, and if simple games and a piece of technology facilitated that then that was just fine with Meredith.

Cristina was not much for small talk anyway.

"You and Addison, though. Geez. A cat, happy house and garden magazines?" Cristina teased as she finally gave up on the games in Meredith's phone and handed it back.

"Next you'll be telling me you're getting a U-Haul and taking a trip to California." Cristina sniffed and stretched out her legs.

"Um. Well." Meredith hedged.

"Seriously?" Cristina gave an impressive eye roll and Meredith gently nudged her friends ribs.

"Just for that, I am going to make you help us unpack, or feed the cat. Or something." Meredith teased and Cristina snorted, apparently content with the idea in her own unique way.

She and Addison had not talked about when they would go to California just yet, but Meredith assumed that it would be soon. Addison had responsibilities that she could not ignore for much longer and really, Meredith was also curious about getting a glimpse of her girlfriend's life as it had been for the past while.

Meredith also simply liked the idea of going on a trip with Addison, even if it was simply to get stuff and fulfil the U-Haul prophesy of lesbians living together. Meredith had been doing some research online about lesbians.

She was undecided if she was a lesbian or not, but she knew for certain that she was into Addison, as in her sexuality was solely focused on the redhead in question. If she was gay for Addison, then so be it. Meredith certainly was not going to complain.

She wondered what her mother would say.

So far her father did not really know, but them Meredith had never really had a whole lot to say to her father about much. Meredith did wish that Lexie's mother was still alive, she speculated that the woman would know how to listen and would know what to say. Sometimes Meredith craved a maternal figure in her life and the funny thing was that she had no idea what that really meant.

It was off to crave something that she had never really had.

"Well, here they come." Cristina said in a stage whisper and the two of them rose to their feet as Arizona Robbins and Miranda Bailey walked down the corridor in their direction.

"Back to the trenches." Meredith murmured and as the two doctors passed them, Meredith and Cristina fell in step behind them.

As they walked, Meredith pulled out her phone and fired off a quick message to Addison, who was undoubtedly back at home now and resting. Or she better be. Meredith had been aware of just how tired Addison was when they had lunch together.

_Going to surgery. Keep the bed warm for me and give Milo a kiss for me. Love you. Mer_

It really was too sweet for words and Meredith was delighted by it.

_Will do. Love u 2. Addie_

Came the quick reply and Meredith smiled as wide as her face would allow.

"You're disgusting. Stop being so happy." Cristina intoned from beside her and Meredith laughed as she slid her phone away.

"Don't ever change, Cristina." Meredith said as they rounded a final corner on their journey to scrub in.

"Of course not." Cristina said with false outrage and Meredith smiled again.

Today she was feeling exceptionally lucky. She had Addison, she had Cristina, and she had a bright looking future with exciting prospects. To say the least.

Cat, dog, kids, house, family, friends, career. Very nice.

Meredith pulled out her green scrub cap and ran her fingers over the tiny stars on it and felt her heart swell.

"Stop that." Cristina demanded and Meredith snapped back to the present.

It was time to scrub in, daydreams would have to wait until later.

* * *

By the time Meredith finally got home that night she was dead tired, but also totally wired up from the long surgery and from leftover sexual tension from earlier. The house felt welcoming as she walked into it and it made Meredith reflect on how much had changed in her life so recently.

How much things had changed in a good way, that is.

"Hi." Addison said as she walked up to Meredith, only the brace on her foot making her gait a little stiff.

Meredith smiled and enfolded Addison into a hug, very glad to be home and with Addison and when Milo, the cheeky little fellow ran up to wrap himself around Meredith's legs, it actually made Meredith laugh with pleasure.

"It's good to be home." Meredith murmured and released Addison and then bent down to greet the little cat who had joined them.

"I think he's beginning to like me." Meredith commented about the feline who was busily weaving a figure eight around Meredith's ankles.

"He has good taste in women." Addison remarked and urged Meredith deeper into the house.

"I got your favourite." Addison teased as she guided Meredith into the kitchen.

Meredith wondered what exactly that meant but a moment later she found out. On the countertop was arrayed a variety of Thai food, and now that Addison was allowed to drink in moderation, Thai beer as well.

"Hungry?" Addison queried, running a finger along Meredith's arm as she spoke.

The touch send a shiver down Meredith's spine. "Starving." She said huskily, causing Addison to look up into her eyes.

Heat arched between them and Meredith had to blink a little and take a deep breath after a moment. "This is killing me. I mean what a way do die, but it's killing me." Meredith whispered, leaning in to place a soft kiss on Addison's mouth.

"Join the club." Addison murmured and Meredith felt the coil of arousal that had taken up permanent residence in her lower abdomen shift at the words.

"Come on, darling. Food, shower, bed." Addison urged and Meredith had to agree with her.

She really was exhausted. She doubted Addison had done much resting since she had arrived home. The redhead had a constant stream of catching up to perform and Meredith knew that Addison sometimes spend too much time doing just that.

As the sat down, Meredith's stomach rumbled. "Thank you, this looks great." Meredith commented and Addison bestowed one of her rare, full smiles.

It was breathtaking to witness and Meredith forgot where she was for a moment.

Addison chuckled at her reaction, though Meredith could see the hint of a blush grace Addison's cheekbones. It was good to know that the statuesque redhead was not immune to the intensity that sparked and moved between them.

The informal nature of the kitchen made for easy conversation as they ate and the food, company and beer was good. Meredith was lagging through. She could feel her tiredness in her very bones, actually.

"I made some calls today." Addison said as she took a sip of her beer.

"Oh?" Meredith asked, curious despite herself.

"Yeah. I figure we should get an interior designer in to take a look, and a contractor as well, and a landscape designer." Addison elaborated.

"Sounds good. Let me know when, in plenty of time please, and I will do my best to be here for those appointments." Meredith yawned as she spoke.

Man, she was tired.

"You need to go to bed, Meredith." Addison coaxed as Meredith felt herself begin to fall asleep sitting up.

"I need to shower first. Hopefully I don't drown myself." Meredith murmured in response and rose to her feet.

"Come on darling." Addison said and grabbed her cane with one and Meredith's hand with the other.

"I'll help." Addison suggested.

"Okay." Meredith said sleepily and they went to the bathroom together.

Once there, Addison gently persuaded Meredith to remove her scrubs and as Meredith watched Addison slipped out of her sweats and a moment later was also standing naked. Meredith considered this and felt the pulse of arousal beat in her blood, despite her fatigue.

"Be good." Addison admonished gently.

"Not fair." Meredith whined tiredly.

A moment later they were both under the hot spray of the shower and Meredith was leaning against Addison contentedly. The contact with her lover's body felt divine, even if her brain was offline and her own body was mostly asleep right now.

It was intimate and close and Meredith relished the feel of Addison's skilled fingers carefully combing the water through Meredith's hair. A moment or two passed and Meredith became aware of Addison reaching for a bottle of shampoo and then before she could think any further, Addison was lathering the shampoo into Meredith's hair.

Meredith could not remember the last time someone had washed her hair and as she relaxed into the heavenly sensation of being caressed and taken care of, she clung to Addison gently, not wanting to put any of her weight onto Addison's injuries, but still wanting to be close.

It was obvious that Addison was enjoying this as well and when Meredith felt her hair being rinsed she was convinced she has gone to heaven.

Realising that Meredith was falling asleep, Addison hurried them through the rest of the shower and in a very short period of time Meredith found herself in bed, being tucked in. Half asleep she turned towards Addison and smiled.

"You take good care of me." Meredith slurred sleepily.

"Always." Addison replied, touching Meredith's face.

Meredith was asleep a moment later, feeling safe and protected and at peace.

* * *

"He what?" Meredith asked into her phone, sounding shocked.

It was Cristina. Owen Hunt had cheated on her with Teddy Altman. It was predictable, sad and it made Meredith want to go medieval on the damned trauma surgeon.

Damn him. Cristina did not deserve this.

And why did Cristina always have to go for the tall, dark and complicated types. Meredith heard Cristina hang up angrily and glanced around the kitchen. Addison was still asleep and she needed to talk to someone about what to do about this situation.

Addison would be sympathetic, Meredith was sure of it but she needed to talk to someone now. Too bad Izzy was gone and what a damn crying shame it was that George was dead. This left Alex, actually.

Hard to believe that they were down to so few now.

Hearing the shower go on in the bathroom, Meredith went to see if Alex was awake yet. He might be gruff, rude, and irritating, but his heart was in the right place and he was one of the ones from the original group. Meredith was quietly confident that he would go punch out Owen Hunt if he thought it would help Cristina and if he did not get fired for it.

Slipping into the bathroom, Meredith announced herself so as not to startle Alex too much. "I need some girl-talk." Meredith said as she sat down on the toilet.

The dark and tortured face of Alex peered out from behind the curtain. "What, again?" He asked, sounding frustrated but not upset per se.

"Yeah. Cristina just called. Owen Hunt has slept with Teddy Altman. She is really upset and I don't know what to do. Addison is asleep and she does not know Cristina like you do. So I need some girl-talk." Meredith extrapolated, handing Alex a bottle of shampoo when he extended his hand.

"I could go and kick Hunt's ass." Alex offered as he vanished behind the curtain again.

"I think we should leave that as an option to consider. Damn him for hurting her. She does not deserve it." Meredith sighed in frustration.

"No one does." Alex murmured.

"Nope, no one does." Meredith concurred.

"I'll make sure no one hassles her today if I can." Alex offered from behind the curtain. "You do your _person_ thing." He added.

"Yeah, sounds good." Meredith sighed and just then the bathroom door opened.

"Lexie?" It was Addison.

"I think she's still asleep." Meredith offered as she smiled happily at her girlfriend.

"Geez, what is this, Grand Central Station? Get out." Alex grouched from behind the curtain and Meredith laughed.

"Bye Alex." She said and got up and walked towards Addison.

"What's wrong?" Meredith queried as she reached the door.

Her lover had a funny look on her face and Meredith was worried that perhaps she had some bad news for Lexie, or something had happened. Addison shook her head and blinked, following Meredith out of the bathroom.

"You were just in there, with Alex, while he showered?" Addison asked as Meredith closed the door.

"Yes." Meredith was confused and figured if she used short answers she would not confuse herself any further.

"He's naked." Addison said, holding a piece of paper in her hand and looking at it like she had never seen it before.

Meredith wondered what was on the paper.

"And that is okay with you?" Addison was starting to sound a little cross now.

Before Meredith could come up with an answer Addison continued. "And it's okay with him?" She said.

"Addison?" Meredith was beginning to realise that perhaps Addison had some boundaries that Meredith would be wise to learn about.

That said, these were her friends and this was now things were between Meredith and her friends. Or how things had been. Meredith was prepared to do a lot of things to ensure that this relationship was a success, but changing who she was on a fundamental level was not really one of them.

"Did it occur to you that I may have a problem with you just sitting in a bathroom while someone is showering?" Addison sounded crabby now as she walked to Lexie's room and knocked on the door before stepping in.

"I'm not your message service." Addison said to Meredith's startled half sister and thrust a piece of paper at her before she turned away and walked back into the hallway and crossed back to the master bedroom.

"These are my friends, Addison." Meredith said carefully.

Maybe they could come to some sort of compromise.

"And I am your girlfriend." Addison huffed, sitting down. "How would you feel about it if I was talking to Mark Sloan as he showered and you walked in?" Addison asked pointedly.

"I've never slept with Alex." Meredith said automatically.

"That's actually beside the point. Mark is my friend the same way George was yours and you did sleep with George." Addison batted away Meredith's counter argument easily and rolled her shoulders irritably.

"Addie." Meredith said, allowing her emotions to seep into her tone.

The redhead looked at her and Meredith could see the conflict in her eyes. "You think we can come to an understanding about this?" Meredith continued as she sat down next to Addison and took her hand.

"I was talking to Alex because he is one of my original friends from this part of my life and I just heard that Owen Hunt has cheated on Cristina. I was also going to talk to you, but you were still asleep and Alex is Cristina's friend too." Meredith offered as she entwined their hands.

"What a bastard." Addison said. "Cristina is too good for Owen." Addison murmured and Meredith had the sense that the other woman was allowing herself to see a compromise in the way Meredith interacted with her friends.

"Do you think you would be able to wait until he had his underwear on at least?" Addison sighed and closed her eyes. "I mean I am trying to understand and be supportive and I know you two are friends, but I am your girlfriend. Having you hang out with people not wearing pants is not exactly something I am going to be at ease with." Addison lay back in the bed and pulled Meredith along with her.

Arranging herself carefully so as not to stress Addison's still sore body, Meredith ran a finger along the fine, patrician features of her lover. She supposed there could be a compromise. Meredith could try to wait until people were wearing pants or at least were a little more decent than standing naked in a shower and Addison would try to be more flexible with her assumptions about how the boundaries of a relationship were arranged.

"Okay. I'll work on making sure people are wearing pants, or at least are not stark naked." Meredith said with a small smile. "But you know, Addison. I only have eyes for you. There is no contest or any other possible option. There is just you." Meredith rolled over on the bed and looked at the ceiling with Addison.

"Fine." Addison said softly, sounding much calmer than she had been a few moments ago.

Good.

Lifting up their joined hands she smiled at them. "Get well soon, will you?" She teased.

"God, I want you." Addison moaned softly from beside her. "I think I am grumpy right now because I can't have you and I want you. Now. I want you now." Addison draped her other arm across her face and sighed in a very frustrated way.

"I know what you mean." Meredith said in a low, hungry tone.

This was pure torture. The oasis that could quench her thirst was right within reach, but she could not drink. Not yet anyway.

Patience Meredith. Good things come to those who wait.

That refrain did nothing to ease the ball of tension in her lower abdomen. She was thirsty and what she wanted was laying in the bed beside her. Self restraint was a new thing that Meredith was learning as she and Addison eased into this relationship together. Self restraint, compromise and a dark of maturity as well.

Meredith barely recognised herself, actually, but she also realised that she was liking what she saw.

"I love you." Addison said as she rolled over and draped herself over Meredith's body.

"I love you too." Meredith murmured into the soft, sweet smelling hair on Addison's head.

With this issue taken care of, Meredith needed to think about Cristina. Damn Owen Hunt and damn Teddy Altman as well.

* * *

**Chapter 42**

Arriving at work, Meredith kissed Addison goodbye in the hospital lobby, happy to have anyone see her do it. Long gone were any thoughts of being discreet. If anyone had an issue with it to the point where Meredith actually got any grief about it, she's sue, and win, and find someplace else to work.

But, right now Meredith needed to find Cristina. Her person had received a shock and she needed to see that Cristina was okay. Meredith doubted that Cristina was especially shocked about what had happened, but it would have hurt the surprisingly sensitive woman deeply.

So, thinking like Cristina might, Meredith proceeded to check the most relevant places first. The morgue, some hideouts where Meredith knew that Cristina would go if she needed space, and lastly, surgery. Cristina, like all of them was a workaholic, and like all of them work was a sanctuary and an escape, as needed.

Turns out Cristina was in the morgue, though.

Meredith walked into the space which smelled of stale decay, embalming fluid, and disinfectant and saw her friend leaning over a cadaver with scalpel in hand. "I don't have a sparkly pager, Cristina." Meredith said as she came to a stop near her friend.

Cristina looked up at her and Meredith could see that her friend was wounded, but not like when Burke had won his Harper Avery award. This time Cristina just looked angry and hurt and resigned, versus shell shocked and borderline catatonic.

Maybe Meredith would not have to kill Owen Hunt after all. Though she may still kick him the balls, though.

"I'll help you hide the bodies." Meredith offered, reaching out to touch her friends arm.

"Did you bring me coffee?" Cristina inquired, sounding more like her usual imperious self than she had on the phone.

"It's outside, I did not want it to become Cafe du Corpse." Meredith explained shrugging with one shoulder.

"Okay. Let me just wash up." Cristina said and turned away to put away her instruments and remove her gloves.

Meredith for her part retreated to the adjacent room to wait for her friend.

Looking around Meredith tried to think of what she could do for her friend. She needed to ensure that Cristina was okay, no matter what.

"Give me coffee." Cristina said when she walked in wearing some fresh scrubs and smelling of antiseptic.

Meredith handed over the coffee to Cristina and the other woman sat down next to her in silence that was not uncomfortable. Things were rarely uncomfortable between them, only that one time when they had argued but Meredith had learned since then that in order to have a successful relationship one had to give, not only take.

"I broke up with him." Cristina said after a beat.

"Sorry." Meredith offered, handing her friend her iPhone.

Cristina took the phone from her and activated one of the games on it. "You were too good for him." Meredith said after a while.

"I am on Altman's service today." Cristina signed.

"Geez, awkward. You want to trade?" Meredith had Callie today.

"Carpentry versus cardiology, hmm, let me think." Cristina said facetiously. "Such a tough choice." She murmured and yawned a little.

"Yeah, I kind of wish I had something more exciting for you, sorry." Meredith conceded.

"I'll be okay. I mean it is apropos. The cardiologist who broke my heart." Cristina quipped and Meredith felt her own heart ache for her friend.

"Make sure you come to my place tonight. I have a king sized bed you know." Meredith made a mental note to mention this possibility to Addison.

Give and take. Cristina needed to be emotionally safe tonight so Meredith's bed was the only option Meredith could think of. She figured that Addison would understand, especially as Cristina was unlikely to be removing her pants at any point in the evening.

In any case, Cristina was Meredith's and she wanted her girlfriend and her best fried to get along well. Some impromptu bonding in bed may just be the start of that dream.

"I gotta go." Cristina remarked and handed Meredith back her phone.

Meredith did not even have the time to say bye to Cristina, but she knew that her person would show up tonight to sleep and be safe from harm.

Hopefully Milo would like Cristina. The idea of the cat and Cristina interacting put a smile on Meredith's face and without further ado she went off to look for Callie and to begin her day proper.

* * *

"Cristina is coming over tonight." Meredith said into the phone to Addison when they were finding a way to talk later in the day.

So far they had both been far too busy to actually connect in person, but telephones were just marvellous inventions for times of too busy otherwise. "You can have whoever you like over, Meredith. It's your house too." Addison said slightly distractedly and Meredith heard some shuffling of papers in the background.

"Yes, I know. But she will be staying the night and not on the sofa, either." Meredith just hoped that Addison would not have an issue with this as it needed to happen.

"I see." Addison breathed on the other end of the line.

"Cristina does not do emotions well." Meredith extrapolated as she walked towards the Resident's Lounge to find a change of scrubs.

The ones she wore were sweaty and she could not stand them.

"And sleeping in your bed somehow, makes up for this?" Addison sounded remarkably understanding about this, but it remained to be seen how she would react when face with the physical reality of Cristina in her bed.

"Yeah." Meredith said simply as she rounded the corner and then stepped into the Lounge.

"Well, just so long as she does not steal the covers." Addison said breezily on the other end of the line.

"Sorry to say, but she does." Meredith laughed.

"Great. Well, I will have to hold on tight then." Addison murmured and Meredith could hear her stand up.

"I have to go. See you later." Addison said into the phone. "I love you." She added as Meredith heard someone enter her office.

"I love you too." Meredith said into the phone.

It felt so good to say. "Thank you." Addison said quietly before she disconnected the phone.

_Thank you?_ Meredith closed her phone and considered the motivations behind Addison's parting words.

Maybe one of these weeks or months they would discuss their respective romantic histories a little and Meredith would find out a little more as to what Addison's insecurities were, or what pushed her buttons. Of course this would mean that Meredith would also need to divulge her own sordid history to some degree, but that was a worry for then.

Right now Meredith needed to get back to work. The day was not done yet.

A quick change of clothes and Meredith was walking back towards the board to see what was happening next on the schedule. As she approached she saw Addison standing next to Mark Sloan by the board and had a flashback to not so long ago when she had over reacted to the point of madness to the same thing.

Not this time, though.

Meredith walked up to Addison and stood in her personal space and leaned in to kiss her cheek briefly by way of greeting.

Mark opened his mouth to say something but Meredith cut him off. "No, you can't watch." She said sternly.

"But..." Mark almost pouted. "No." This was Addison who chipped in now.

"What if I am really quiet?" He pleaded, good humour and a tinge of hope sparking in his eyes.

"No!" Addison and Meredith said in unison.

"Geez. You can't blame a guy for trying." Mark said after looking at them for a moment.

"You sure?" He just would not give up.

Meredith bit back laughter as Addison raised her cane and made as if to hit him with it. "Shoo." Addison said in mock horror.

"Fine. Abuse me then" Mark said laughing before he walked away shaking his head, no doubt intent on trying his luck somewhere else.

"He's not going to give up." Addison said after a moment. "He still can't watch though." Meredith said firmly. "Absolutely not." Addison agreed.

"See you tonight." Meredith said to Addison.

The redhead had a later shift than Meredith.

"Okay." Addison said with a smile.

* * *

By the time Addison came home, Meredith and Cristina were in fact mostly, if not wholly asleep. Meredith was briefly aware of the bed moving as Addison climbed in and then she felt the redhead snuggle against her side. It was a most surreal thing. Meredith's semi-conscious state was aware that she had two of the most important people in her life sleeping with her, or actually to each side of her.

After that, Meredith knew nothing at all until morning.

"Your girlfriend is cool." Cristina announced sleepily from the bed beside her.

Meredith blinked sleep from her eyes and looked over at Cristina. "Yeah, she is." Meredith agreed.

Where was Addison?

The bed was still slightly warm beside her so that indicated that Addison had left within the past half hour or so. But she had not come back.

"I smell bacon." Cristina announced as she rolled to her feet and stood up.

"So do I." Meredith agreed and watched Cristina pull on her shoes.

"I gotta go. See you at the hospital." Meredith did not even have the time to reply before Cristina was gone.

At least she seemed to be getting back to normal. Hopefully she would rebound from Owen without too many repercussions. Hearing some talk from the kitchen and then the front door opening and closing, Meredith determined that Addison must be in the kitchen making bacon for breakfast.

Bliss.

Walking to the kitchen, Meredith was surprised when she entered to discover that Addison was indeed cooking breakfast, but not only for herself, but also for Lexie, who was sitting chatting amiably with Addison while she waited.

"Meredith." Addison exclaimed when Meredith entered the kitchen. "Sit, food is done soon." It seemed that Addison could also cook breakfast as well.

"Thank you." Meredith said and yawned.

"Good morning." She added to both her sister and her lover as she sat down.

"Morning." Lexie said, sounding happy. "Addison was just telling me some story about California." The younger woman enthused and Meredith smiled.

It was great that Addison and Lexie were starting to get along and get to know each other more. "Was she?" Meredith asked as she watched Addison move about the kitchen. The redhead was not limping anymore and her cane was resting against the countertop.

"Yes, I was." Addison offered and smiled as she set food in front of the two sisters before she turned back to the stove.

"And I am finally cleared for some elective surgeries as well." Addison continued. "Just the little stuff." She added when Meredith raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I can't stay out of the OR forever, I am a surgeon." Addison countered Meredith's other eyebrow as she sat down with her own breakfast.

"You want to scrub in with me today?" Addison asked and Meredith took a moment to realise that she was asking Lexie.

"Sure, absolutely." Lexie replied happily and the three of them tucked into their breakfast.

"Milo." Lexie exclaimed as the feline in question entered the room, obviously intent on receiving his share of bacon.

Meredith watched her sister scoop up the cat and hold it close and it made her smile. It was a curious thing that she finally seemed to have a family and that she even had a cat to complement the whole concept.

"He slept on my bed last night." Lexie commented as she settled the affectionate creature in her lap and offered him a piece of bacon.

"He's a charmer. Now that you have given him bacon he'll be yours forever." Addison commented as she turned back to her own meal.

"Just my kind of man then." Lexie commented running her hands along the lithe form of the ecstatic cat.

Meredith just smiled at the scene before her. Addison seemed to be very happy that her cat was becoming the house cat. Meredith had even seen Alex interacting with the little ball of fur. Animal were uncomplicated in that way, kind of like music. People may not have a lot in common, but they could be drawn together by animals, children, music, love.

To mention a few things.

"You're giving him all your bacon?" Addison laughed as Milo commandeered Lexie and charmed her out of the rest of her breakfast just about.

"Are you saying you could resist this face?" Lexie smiled at Addison and took a bite of her eggs which the cat seemed to be disinterested in.

"Of course not." Addison demurred and Lexie laughed before she gently put the cat down on the floor where it sat and meticulously licked its paw and then proceeded to clean its face.

"You see, he's even a perfect gentleman." Lexie said as she finished off her food.

Meredith chuckled and watched with pleasure as Addison smiled behind her coffee cup.

"Got to get going." Lexie said as she rose and quickly moved to deposit her dishes into the dishwasher.

"See you at the hospital." Meredith waved at her sister and Addison called out her goodbyes as well.

"She's nice." Addison commented as she moved to clear away their dishes.

"Yeah. She needs to grow up though." Meredith commented, moving to help Addison.

"Don't we all." Addison murmured, enfolding a very willing Meredith into a hug.

It was true.

* * *

"I'd like to drive." Addison said as Meredith opened the car doors.

"Okay." Meredith said at once. It had been three weeks or so since the accident and for all intents and purposes Addison was fit to drive.

Her foot only had a compression bandage on it, her knee was technically healed and the latest film of her chest showed no more fractures. What remained was the aches and pains of the type of injuries that Addison had received and the stiffness caused by lack of use, both of which were being addressed by time and massage and physical therapy.

Her concussion had also resolved itself and she was otherwise in good health.

The real question was if Addison was mentally prepared to drive. Meredith knew that her girlfriend was mentally tough, so if she felt ready to drive, then Meredith was not going to say no.

Addison came around the side of the car and slipped into the drivers seat. "Help me adjust it." She requested softly.

Meredith leaned down and carefully did just that, making sure the seat and the steering wheel were in the most optimal position possible for Addison and then when Meredith came around the passenger side, they spent some time fussing over mirrors before buckling up and getting ready to go.

"We have time if you would like to take the scenic route." Meredith suggested.

She was talking about smaller back streets that would lead to the hospital with much less traffic and no large intersections.

It was also somewhat scenic, of course.

"Sure. Lead on." Addison said as she started the car and gripped the wheel tightly.

The scenic route also had lots of places where someone could stop if they so desired. Meredith hoped that Addison would not need to stop, but it was a consideration that Meredith wanted to be prepared for.

Carefully Addison eased the car into the street and they drove off at a casual pace. Addison was gripping the wheel too hard, but that was a minor consideration right now. Meredith was not concerned if she tore the steering wheel off, just so long as Addison herself would be okay.

"I have had nightmares about driving." Addison confessed as she turned a corner at Meredith's direction.

"I keep seeing the moment before the crash and the thing is I don't actually remember it." Addison said another moment.

Meredith turned to face her lover. "It would be surprising if you did not have nightmares and flashbacks and stuff." Meredith said sympathetically.

She had experienced her share of waking dreams and nightmares for a long time after she had drowned. In fact she still had problems with those things at times.

"I know, I just feel like I should be stronger." Addison said, finally relaxing her grip on the steering wheel a little.

"You're not superhuman." Meredith countered, brushing her hand lightly over one of the hands that were clenched around the steering wheel.

"You sure about that?" Addison said as she came to a stop at a corner and looked around.

"I've seen you naked. No superman costume under those clothes." Meredith said as she looked around.

Whatever Addison was going to say next was drowned out by the loud honk of a horn behind them that made both Addison and Meredith jump.

"Jerk." Meredith said as Addison recovered her equilibrium and drove onwards.

It was clear that Addison was shaken though and Meredith did not want her to feel bad about stopping. "Hey, look. More coffee. Bet you it's better than the stuff at the hospital." Meredith said pointing at a small corner cafe.

"Pull over, I'll run in." Meredith suggested, digging out her wallet.

"Alright." Addison said, her voice a little tight.

Leaning over to kiss Addison before she got out of the car, Meredith quickly exited the car in order to give her lover some privacy and time to centre herself again. Addison was a proud woman, she would want to face the brunt of her demons without appearing weak. It was also important that they made it to the hospital in good time and without any issues, as Addison really did need to get back into the saddle, as it were.

Especially now that she was ready.

Quickly, Meredith paid for the coffee and sprinted back to the car and slipped back in again. "The owner says this is the best coffee in Seattle." Meredith said as she buckled herself in again and waited while Addison pulled back into traffic.

The redhead had better colouring now and seemed to be fine.

Good.

"Is that so?" Addison replied as she sped off down the street, her driving gaining confidence with every yard they travelled.

"Well, I suppose we can come back and let him know otherwise some other day. Or we can come back and get more of Seattle's best. Either way." Meredith murmured as Addison chose to enter the larger streets that led to the hospital.

Obviously she had decided that the scenic route was no longer an option anymore.

"Thank you." Addison said after a few moments of driving in silence.

Meredith knew that the redhead was not talking about coffee, either.

"You're welcome." Meredith said softly.

"We need to get your car from California." Meredith said after a sip of coffee.

"Yeah, though I have to admit, I look good driving this one." Addison replied, handing Meredith the cup she had been sipping from.

Meredith decided that Addison would look good driving a tractor. This was Addison after all. She's look good in anything. It was a happy thought that followed Meredith as Addison pulled into the hospital parking lot and quickly found a space to park the car.

"I'd say that worked." Addison concluded as she switched the ignition off and looked over at Meredith.

"Yep." Meredith said with a smile and handed over Addison's coffee.

They had the time to enjoy it before they needed to be at work and Meredith was not going to pass up the opportunity to spend a few more minutes with Addison.

No way.

The coffee in the cups could have been Seattle's worst, and she would still be drinking it with relish because of the company.

* * *

**Chapter 43**

"How is it going?" This was Richard who asked at about midday.

Meredith realised that he was not talking about work, but was asking about home life. Meredith had spoken to him a few times in the past couple of weeks, but their schedules were not matching up at all and overall time had been scarce.

"Fine." Meredith said happily.

"I did not know I was a cat person." She added.

It was true. Milo was a little charmer and Meredith was in agreement with Lexie about the cat. As far as males went, he was pretty much perfect. "Addison has settled in and we are planning an extreme makeover." Meredith said as she walked with Richard towards the cafeteria.

"Lexie and Alex have also warmed up to her." Meredith continued. "You should come to dinner one day, though none of us cook so it's not going to be anything fancy." Meredith offered.

Richard was close to Addison after all and Meredith had decided that she wanted Richard more involved in her life. "Does your father know?" Richard asked as he waved her ahead of him in line at the lunch counter.

"Not really. I have not really seen him." Meredith hedged.

She did not get along with her father and Lexie tended to go visit him, not the other way around. Meredith figured she had done her daughterly duty by saving her father's life. It wad certainly more than the man had ever really done for her.

"Don't think about it too much." Richard offered. "Either he'll be cool with it, or he won't. It's not like you owe him anything, Meredith." Richard said protectively.

"Yeah, I know. But for Lexie's sake I want to try. Also, I can't keep having mommy and daddy issues. Addison has those as well and if we're not careful there will be more people living in our house in the metaphorical sense, than is practical to have around." Meredith wondered where she had gotten this new sense of maturity from.

Perhaps nearly losing someone you love, and having to be a big sister, and well, simply growing up a little certainly helped.

Never mind simply being in love.

"Remember I am here. Any time, any day, for any reason." Richard offered as he collected his lunch.

"Thanks." Meredith said and watched the venerable man quietly start to leave the cafeteria.

It was amazing, even though he was no longer Chief, he was still isolated and separate to the rest of them. It can't have been easy.

"Doctor Webber." Meredith called out and Richard turned around, raising an eyebrow.

"Same goes for you." Meredith said, indicating the man's statement about being available for Meredith if she needed something.

He nodded and gave Meredith a slight smile before he continued his departure.

Meredith sighed and looked around the cafeteria, spotting Lexie and moving towards her. Might as well have some lunch company she actually liked, after all.

Sitting down, Meredith nodded her greetings to the others at the table, a collection of Interns and Residents that Meredith was not so familiar with. "How's it going? " Meredith asked her sister, curious about how Lexie had enjoyed being on Addison's service.

"Doctor Montgomery is amazing." Lexie said happily and Meredith leaned in to listen, wanting to hear not only about the surgery, but about how Addison was doing.

"I swear, what they say about gynaecologists being able to paint a room through the keyhole of a door is totally true." Lexie continued and the table erupted in a chuckle that Meredith was happy to join in on.

"How is Doctor Montgomery?" Meredith asked directly, since Lexie seemed to not take a hint and simply tell her.

"Oh." Lexie said, comprehension dawning in her eyes. "She seemed fine, the procedure was done seated and went smoothly." Lexie extrapolated and Meredith felt an irrational sense of relief wash over her.

Addison was fine. She would be fine and she was getting back into the swing of things here at the hospital. Now only remained tying off the redhead's life in California and getting the house remodelled. Then of course, there was the rest of their lives to lead and Meredith felt a flutter of excitement in her chest at the thought of that.

She really needed to take Addison out on another date. Her lover's accident had sort of turned them into homebodies and now that Addison was feeling stronger and better, Meredith really wanted to explore the world with Addison some more.

She also wanted to break in their new bed with Addison. Her heart thumped wildly at the thought of that. It had been a long time, or so it seemed and Meredith knew that Addison was also feeling it. They woke up almost every morning now tangled in each other and kissing had become an act of making love in of itself.

Meredith had decided a while ago that kissing Addison was one of the most erotic things that she had ever experienced in her life. By God, but the woman could kiss.

Shaking her head slightly, Meredith returned her focus to the idle chit-chat at the table and to her food. Lexie was still excitedly talking about her morning with Addison and Meredith basked in the warm glow of knowing that her sister and her lover seemed to be getting along well and were becoming friends.

However, now she was in a hurry, so she quickly finished off her salad and excused herself before getting rid of her tray and making her way out of the cafeteria. She was scheduled to scrub in with Mark Sloan this afternoon and she found herself looking forward to it. She had learned over the past while that on the surface Plastics may have seemed trivial, but there was a lot more to it than facelifts and boob jobs.

Today they were going to reconstruct the nose and lip of a child who had been badly mauled by a dog, Mark had shown Meredith his extrapolation of what the child would have afterwards and that had reminded Meredith about the origins of Plastic Surgery. Horrific injuries suffered on the battlefields of the world had inspired and driven doctors to figure out ways to help give people their lives back to live, once other doctors had actually saved them.

With that in mind, Meredith hurried to scrub in. The surgery would be starting soon and Mark Sloan may be many things and seem laid back, but he did not tolerate nonsense or tardiness in his OR.

* * *

Two weeks later Meredith was standing outside of the house watching the contractors do some of the last finishing touches to the exterior of the building. It had taken some procrastination, but finally they had come up with a plan as to how to tackle the task of redoing the house in a sane fashion.

While they were home, the exterior would be done. Painting, trim, landscaping and a new roof. Replacing things where needed, refurbishing where possible. The two of them had decided that the original soul of the yard and exterior should be maintained to a degree, so they were simply fixing it up and making it new.

Right now, there was a team of men standing on the roof hammering down the last of the roofing. After this, it would simply be a matter of cleaning up and adding personal touches. That would need to wait though as both Addison and Meredith were simply too busy to spend much time outside supervising what was going on and now they were getting ready to go to California in less than thirty six hours, actually.

The inside of the house had been prepared. Milo was staying with Callie and Arizona, who had promised to look after him in true lesbian style and Cristina had actually warmed up to the small feline as well. Rumour had it that the little charmer was sleeping on Cristina's bed every night, actually.

Lexie had categorically stated that she would live through the interior remodelling somehow, but Alex had decided to sleep at the hospital instead of braving painters and carpenters and interior designers. When Meredith considered the respective temperaments of the individuals involved, it had made sense.

Personal items had been stowed away for safekeeping and there had been a mad rush of last minutes perpetration as well. Meredith and Addison had packed up and moved to a hotel for their last in Seattle and overall the process of redoing the house was going to begin, one way or another.

Just as soon as the roof was finished.

Dipping into her savings and the inheritance that her mother had left her had been a liberating experience for Meredith. She was making her own home at last and was getting ready to shed the weight of the past that had been sitting on her chest suffocating her for most of her life.

To Meredith's surprise, her father had not been critical of this progress and while the man did not really know exactly who or what Addison represented in her life just yet, Meredith had decided that the man knew that Addison was more than simply a roommate at least.

Alex and Lexie, for their parts, had been given the option of deciding the colour schemes of their respective rooms, which had seemed to please both of them to no end. Maybe eventually Alex would relax and calm down and realise that not everyone was going to betray him, leave him, or let him down.

Meredith did not know if either of them planned to stay for years, or months still in the house, but a custom coat of paint was more than worth it to make them happier roommates or guests or de-facto family members.

The Jacuzzi was not installed yet, either, but Meredith had been given assurances that all would be done by the time she and Addison came back from California.

It better be so, as she and Addison were paying for the job to be done quickly and with minimal disruption to their every day lives. Addison had insisted on investing in the extra thousands that would ensure this. She had emphatically stated that living amongst construction was an experience that was best to avoid and then had detailed a time in her life when her parents had decided to experiment with DIY and the subsequent mess, fuss and disasters that had ensued.

Meredith had summarily written out a check in response to that and then had left it to Addison to handle the details.

By now, Addison had recovered fully from her injuries and was walking, and driving and performing surgery like her old self. The bed had also finally be christened and Meredith had praised the wisdom of obtaining a king sized mattress and had belatedly realised that the reason Addison had insisted on no footboard was patently obvious. Meredith's shins were eternally grateful for the foresight.

She had also subsequently given a very tortured Cristina a situation report the day after she had finally tested the bed. It was sometimes too easy to tease Cristina and Meredith secretly thought that Cristina actually enjoyed it. Why would she stick around and put up with Meredith's ribbing otherwise?

It was a charmed life right now and Meredith realised that she had better hurry. She needed to get to work to ensure that every possible thing was taken care of before she and Addison took off. The plane was leaving tomorrow afternoon and there was still a list as long as her arm to look after. Also she wanted to give Richard a key to the house as the man had offered to check on things a few times during the week to ensure that things were running smoothly and on schedule.

It was a fatherly thing to do and all things considered, Richard was very much a father figure especially for Addison, for which Meredith was grateful. Both her own father and Addison's father had left some serious marks on their respective daughters, so having a third option was comforting, to say the least.

It was time to go, though so Meredith took one last look at the roofers and then hurried to her car, wanting to make good time. Addison was stuck in meetings all day so chances were Meredith would not see the redhead before they convened at the hotel tonight, but that was okay.

They were about to begin a vacation of sorts and Meredith was really looking forward to seeing Addison's life how it had been in California for the past while and Meredith surprised herself by looking forward to meeting Addison's friends as well.

It was going to be an adventure, to say the least.

* * *

Addison was asleep when Meredith finally arrived to the hotel room that night. Despite having healed well, it was clear that the redhead still had residual fatigue leftover from being so injured and Meredith was glad whenever Addison seemed to find time to sleep, and to sleep deeply at that.

Carefully and quietly, Meredith went to take a shower and then quickly she crawled into the bed beside Addison. It had occurred to her when they had arrived, that this was the same hotel room from before and Addison had told her simply that it was the room that she always reserved when she was in town.

It was an interesting anecdote to Addison's personality and now as Meredith lay in bed, she could not help but smile. In her sleep, Addison curled against Meredith and soon the peaceful slumber of her lover lulled Meredith into dreamland as well.

By the next morning however, things were not so peaceful at all. It was time to finish packing, eat breakfast and get their asses to the airport. Meredith had the task making sure everything at home was ready and Addison was on her way to the hospital and they would meet up at the airport when it came time to leave.

It was the best division of labour in order for them to get the things done that they needed to do and right now there seemed to be so much to do that Meredith's head was spinning.

Addison seemed remarkably calm though, something that Meredith aspired to emulate, but wondered if she would ever be successful at. Time would tell.

"See you later." Addison said as they parted ways in the hotel lobby. "You'll take care of check-in?" Meredith queried.

"Yes, just make sure you arrive on time so we don't miss our flight." Addison reassured Meredith.

Meredith had never heard it phrased quite like that before, but she figured Addison knew what she was talking about and right now she was just too busy to ask.

"See you then." Meredith said and leaned in to kiss Addison on her cheek. "I love you." She whispered into the perfect shell of Addison's ear.

A smile was her reward and Addison caressed Meredith's face. "I love you too." She replied and then Meredith forced herself to get going, or they would never be ready on time.

It took Meredith only about half an hour to get home but in that time it felt like she thought of half a million things that she needed to get done. She only had about four hours to get to the airport so she had better get a move on if she hoped to be there on time.

The nightmare of airport security was not something that she was looking forward to either, though. She had flown recently enough to know what a misery it could be even domestically and just hoped that luck would smile on her today and it would not be so bad after all.

Meredith was just opening the door when her phone rang. "Hello." She said breathlessly into the device, hoping it was not some unfathomable emergency that she would have to attend to.

"Just checking." It was Addison on the phone. "Just checking what?" Meredith asked as she walked through the house and made sure all was well.

"I dunno. I just wanted to call you. I want to be on the plane and gone already." Addison extrapolated and Meredith could sympathise with that.

"You want to skip being good, responsible adults and meet for an early lunch before we go?" It was surprisingly easy to volunteer to be delinquent with Addison.

"I'd love to, but I think someone here would tar and feather me if I did that." Addison sighed into the phone.

Meredith frowned as she sat down on the carefully wrapped bed in the bedroom. A wicked thought entered her mind as she looked around and tried to care about what she had been so busy about only an hour before.

"What are you wearing?" Meredith asked in a singsong voice, wondering if Addison would be up to playing at least some game.

"A hot pink leotard, tiger print lab coat, and knee high vinyl boots." Addison quipped from the other end of the line.

Meredith laughed despite herself. "Why do you want to know?" Addison queried and the slight squeak of her chair told Meredith that Addison was in her office.

"Wait, is this going to be an obscene phone call?" Addison suddenly said and Meredith could hear her shift in her chair. "Because if it is, I have to go lock the door. Hold on." Addison continued and there were more sounds as she did just that.

When the redhead returned she sounded slightly breathless. "Well?" Addison breathed into the phone.

"So what are you wearing?" The question caught Meredith off guard.

It seemed that Addison was indeed in the mood to play.

"This is not fair." Meredith moaned into the phone.

"I never said I was a nice person, Meredith." Addison laughed and even through the tiny speakers of the phone Meredith could feel the warmth of her voice.

"I like you as you are." Meredith said, distracted by the open door to the bedroom.

The contractors were due any minute and where was Lexie anyway?

Getting up Meredith went to close the door and then glanced around wondering what was on Addison's mind. "What are you thinking?" She asked in response to her thought.

"About you." Addison said in a low tone.

Meredith shivered in anticipation and from nerves. Was she ready to have phone sex? After a moment's thought she determined that she was pretty much ready to have any kind of sex with Addison with only a few caveats involving furry animals, body functions and a third person of either gender in bed with them.

Snorting with laugher, Meredith said down again and lay back against the construction plastic that encased their bed. "What are you laughing at?" Addison queried.

"Just having some wholly inappropriate thoughts all things considered." Meredith replied, easing her hand past the waistband of her jeans.

"Have you got your hand inside of your jeans?" Addison asked and Meredith heard something primal in the low tone her lover was using.

"Yes." Meredith conceded.

"I love those jeans on you. They sit on your ass so well that I just want to drop everything on the floor so you will bend over in front of me all the time." Addison explained seriously and Meredith was torn between laughter and arousal as her fingers toyed with the edge of her panties.

"This should be your hand." Meredith breathed into the phone.

"It is my hand." Addison replied at once. "Just because you are attached to it, does not mean it's not me doing this to you." Addison continued.

What a novel concept but as soon as Meredith thought about it for a moment she decided that Addison did have a point. A very good point.

Arousal flared in her body at the thought of Addison touching her and Meredith closed her eyes. The plastic covering the bed disappeared and the phone in her hand became Addison's lips whispering directly into her ear. The eroticism of the moment overwhelmed Meredith's senses and when she touched herself she moaned openly into the phone.

"Jesus Christ!" Addison exclaimed, her voice sounding breathless and hungry.

Meredith opened her eyes and chuckled low in her throat. "You like that?" She queried, enjoying the prospect of teasing Addison while the other woman was at work.

"You know I do." Addison said waspishly, sounding pinched and almost cross.

"Good." Meredith soothed gently. "Fuck!" Addison said suddenly and then there ws a flurry of sounds and Addison spoke again. "Hold on." Meredith frowned at the phone.

She could hear Addison talking to someone and then there was more sounds of movement and Addison was back. "I have to go. This is so unfair." She whined into the phone and Meredith swore she heard the delicate stomp of an elegant foot.

"Don't you dare finish without me." Addison hissed into the phone sounding flustered.

"Don't you dare be late for the plane." Meredith countered and the silence on the other end of the line told her all that she needed to know about what Addison thought of that statement.

"I won't." She finally said and then continued. "I have to go. See you later. I love you." Addison was walking down a corridor now and Meredith realised that phone sex would have to wait until another time.

"Bye darling. I love you too." Meredith whispered and with that the phone call was over.

Looking around the room, Meredith decided that she really did need to get her ass into gear if she was to have any hope of getting to the plane on time and regardless of whatever else this day may bring, this was a flight she did not want to miss for any reason whatsoever.

* * *

**Chapter 44**

Arriving by taxi to the airport, Meredith felt the flutter of nerves in her stomach as she paid here fare and grabbed her luggage. This was it. Baring some unforeseen delay, she was on her way to California with Addison with the objective of tying up the redhead's life there so that she could move back to Seattle permanently.

It was an exciting, but slightly intimidating prospect. Meredith just hoped that Addison's friends would like her. In any case, too late now and it was time to fly, hopefully Addison was at the airport already and they could connect without too much delay.

"Doctor Grey?" A polite voice queried from beside her.

Looking over, Meredith saw a young man dressed in what seemed to be a very fancy flight attendants uniform. "Yes." Meredith answered.

She still really liked being called Doctor Grey. She figured it would never get old.

"Doctor Montgomery send me to ensure you get to your flight without any delay or complication." The man said as he waved to a porter who rushed over to take Meredith's bags.

"Did she now?" Meredith murmured, feeling pampered already and she had yet to even step into the airport.

"This way please." The man indicated and a moment later they were walking into the airport.

The man stopped to give directions to the porter and then walked Meredith over to the first class lounge. "The porter will ensure your bags are properly checked in." The young man reassured Meredith who was feeling a little like a fish out of water at the moment.

Stepping into the lounge, Meredith was immediately greeted by Addison. "Hi darling." Her lover said and embraced her, kissing her on her cheek.

Despite the surrounds, Meredith felt a rush of awareness at Addison's proximity. God, but the woman was sexy and the echo of their jaunt with the telephone made Meredith feel breathless.

"Hi." Meredith finally managed to say as Addison walked her to the bar.

"Would you like something?" Addison inquired, glancing at the man behind the counter.

"Food, actually." Meredith said, realising that she was hungry and that she better not drink on an empty stomach.

"The flight is leaving in half an hour, what would you like?" Addison inquired and Meredith was charmed.

"I want you." Meredith said after a moment and was rewarded with the dilation of Addison's irises as by the creep of a red blush up her girlfriend's neck.

"Later." Addison promised, something in her voice curling around Meredith's libido and making it clamour for attention.

"Bring her a house special." Addison said to the bartender and smiled at Meredith. "Make it two, and also latte, please." Addison added and then guided Meredith to sit on one of the opulent chairs near a table that overlooked the runway.

"Do you always travel first class?" Meredith inquired.

This was no means the first time for Meredith herself, but she was in the end, a blue tennis shoe wearing, all American girl who tended to travel by more regular methods.

"Hmm, yes, or business class." Addison waved her hand as she said it.

"What's a house special?" Meredith inquired as she looked at the runway, fascinated by the bustle of people and machinery and planes.

"It's a very good sandwich, actually." Addison explained and stretched out her long legs just as a waiter arrived carrying said sandwiches and balancing two steaming cups of latte.

"Thank you." Addison murmured as the items were set down and Meredith chorused the sentiment as she glanced down at the food.

Boy, this was some sandwich. "This looks fantastic." Meredith said as she picked up her sandwich and examined it. "It's quite good. Would not want to live on it, but it makes a good lunch on a day like this." Addison conceded and followed Meredith's example, picking up her food.

"We have time to eat, right?" Meredith asked as she took a bit of her food.

The combination of tastes and textures was lovely and Meredith was very glad that Addison had known just what to order. "Yes, plenty of time." Addison reassured Meredith and they continued to eat in comfortable silence.

"Wait, I have not checked in or anything." Meredith said after she had a few sips of latte a little while later. "Oh, don't worry, we're checked in." Addison reassured Meredith. "But security?" Meredith knew that even first class passengers had to be screened, no exceptions.

"We have time for that." Addison assured Meredith as she finished her own coffee, reminding Meredith that her lover enjoyed coffee scalding hot.

"Doctor Montgomery." A voice said at Addison's elbow.

"Yes?" The redhead inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"There is a Doctor Lexie Grey here to see you." The same young man who had helped Meredith into the airport said.

"Show her in." Addison said imperiously, though Meredith could tell that the woman was surprised.

"What's Lexie doing here?" Meredith inquired as her sister walked up to them.

"Hi." Lexie said.

"What are you doing here, Little Grey?" Addison teased lightly and embraced Lexie.

"I wanted to wish you two bon voyage and I also brought you this." Lexie handed Addison something and smiled.

"What is it?" Addison said, holding up the object in question.

"Well, I know you don't like flying." Lexie said and shrugged.

Meredith looked at Addison. "You don't like flying?" She asked. "And my sister knows this before I do, because?" Meredith added.

Addison smiled at Meredith. "You'll have to give me a good tongue lashing about that later, okay?" The overt nature of the come on made Meredith giggle.

"A rubber brick?" Addison held up the object in question.

"Well, hm. I am sure you'll put it to good use." Lexie said, Addison promptly threw the object at Lexie.

"I see what you mean." She said delightedly as Lexie picked it up and handed it back.

"You can also squeeze it or bite or something." Lexie added.

"Well, thank you, Little Grey." Addison murmured and embraced Lexie again.

Meredith in turn gave her sister a quick hug as well. "Don't forget to order a coffee to go before you leave." Addison pointed towards the bar. "We have to get to the flight now." Addison explained as she picked up her purse and turned to Lexie.

"Bye then." Lexie said softly.

"See you when we get back. You know how, why, and when to tall." Addison said and then smiled brilliantly. "Bye Little Grey." She walked off a ways after that to let Meredith say goodbye to Lexie in private.

"You take care of yourself." Meredith murmured and gave Lexie a hug. "And don't forget to visit Milo." Meredith added.

The little cat and her sister had really bonded.

"Okay. Be safe. Bye." Lexie said and Meredith smiled. "Bye." And with that the impromptu moment in the first class lounge was over.

It was time to get to the plane and then it was California or bust.

* * *

"Shall we?" Addison asked Meredith as they prepared to leave the first class lounge.

"Absolutely." Meredith replied, charmed when Addison opened the door for her and then guided her down a short corridor and opened a door.

"Your chariot awaits." Addison said grandly, pointing to a Learjet taxied to about fifty feet from the doorway.

"We're flying in that?" Meredith asked, shocked.

"Yep." Addison said gleefully. "Bizzy said I could have it for this trip. I think she is overcompensating but I am not going to complain." Addison said as they walked up to the plane.

"This is your Bizzy's plane?" Meredith was a little astounded at the concept.

"It is." Addison replied, and shooed Meredith up the stairs. "We have got to get going or we might miss our runway slot." Addison said apologetically. "You can have a longer look at it after we land if you like. The pilot is always looking for someone play show and tell with." Addison said as she followed Meredith up the stairs.

"Your mom owns this." Meredith murmured, repeating herself.

It felt like she was in a James Bond Movie and at any moment a Bond Girl with a name like _Kissy Suzuki_ , would show up bearing a brassiere, a beretta and a bad-ass attitude. Addison would make a great James Bond, or well, the feminine version of him in any case. She certainly had the charm to pull it off.

"Take off will be in ten minutes." The woman who appeared to be the copilot stated as they glanced around and Addison nodded her thanks to the woman.

"This is very wow." Meredith said, looking around at the leather festooned, carpeted interior.

It was opulent. Decadent. Lovely.

Addison seemed to be completely at ease in the plane and that made Meredith really wonder for the first time about the wealth that the redhead had been born into, possessed, and well, earned as well. Meredith was firmly middle-class even though her mother had been famous and well paid, there had never been wealth that could be measured in the millions.

There certainly were no private planes, either.

"We should sit, unless you need to use the bathroom or something first." Addison said. "Once we have reached altitude you can look around some more." She continued and Meredith nodded absently.

She was in a private plane, essentially one that might as well have belonged to Addison and they were on their way to California, just the two of them in this plane. It seemed surreal, actually.

"Do you fly in this often?" Meredith asked as they sat down close together and belted themselves in.

The copilot came out of the cockpit and proceeded to give them a brief, but thorough safety lecture and then they were left alone once more. "I guess that is universal, the put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye, lecture?" Meredith said after a moment.

"Yeah. Regulations." Addison replied. "And no, I don't fly with this so often. Mostly my parents use it, but when my mother heard that I have a girlfriend that I was taking to California, she pretty much insisted." Addison waved her hand as she spoke and Meredith got the sense that the mommy issues that Addison had in many ways rivaled hr own.

"You also don't like to fly." Meredith said with a smile. "Nope, not really." Addison said and Meredith could sense the redhead's tension mount as the plane started to move towards the runway.

"The worst ride I have had was in a Cessna." Addison said as the jet moved into position.

"It was over some mountains, unexpectedly. I could get no regular flights and it was the only option to get where I need to be." Addison continued and Meredith focused her attention on her lover.

"This jet, has thrust and weight. It's a very smooth ride. But a Cessna over mountains. It was like being a stone rattling around in a tin can." Addison gripped the hand rests of her seat as she spoke.

Meredith took one of those white knuckled hands into her own as Addison relived her experience. The plane had come to a stop at the head of the runway and Meredith felt her heart pound in anticipation. She loved flying, particularly the moment of takeoff. Just as the wheels left the ground the feeling of exhilaration of the moment.

"Go on." Meredith urged as she noticed that Addison had become focused on the fact that they were about to take off.

"Oh yeah. Well it was just me, this crazy pilot and my mother in the plane." Addison said after a moment. "The landing was crazy. Like being God's football that was kicked out of the sky." Addison concluded as the jet started to move.

They were ready to go and Meredith looked out the window, feeling the familiar yet always new seeming sensation of excitement that she always had at this moment. It had been the same ever since she was a child.

"I hate this part." Addison whimpered pitifully.

Turning to Addison, Meredith smiled slightly. "Kiss me." She demanded in a low tone. "What?" Addison asked, looking confused.

"You heard me." Meredith said, feeling heat rise along her neck and face as she said the words.

Addison leaned over and brushed her lips against Meredith's as the plane started to move. "That's not a kiss." Meredith murmured, pulling Addison closer and bringing their mouths together firmly.

"Kiss me." Meredith demanded again as the slow crawl of the jet started to pick up to a walk and then became a run.

The redhead responded and kissed Meredith with hunger, the kiss quickly becoming a clash of mouths and breathing and desire as the pressure of acceleration pressed on both Meredith and Addison, combining with the sensation of the kiss. Meredith pushed her tongue against Addison's teeth, wanting access.

Demanding it.

When Addison opened her mouth and the kiss became an act of making love in of itself, Meredith could feel the earth start to peel away under the wheels of the plane and then combination of her stomach dropping away as the jet soared into the sky and Addison's mouth and hands was enough that Meredith felt out of control, actually.

Addison seemed to feel it as well and for long moments they clung to each other, panting as the plane rose higher, and higher still.

"I think I will take you flying with me more often. I barely noticed takeoff." Addison commented as she kissed Meredith more gently this time.

"My God, your eyes." Addison continued as she pulled away.

"What?" Meredith asked, suddenly wondering what on earth Addison was talking about.

"They are sparkling. Beautiful." Addison explained. "I want you." She added in a tone that Meredith had only ever heard Addison use in moments like this and only with her.

"Well. I think I will go flying with you more often if this is how it effects you." Meredith murmured, running her fingers along Addison's face.

"You have me, by the way. I am yours." Meredith added, kissing the tip of Addison's nose as she said the words.

Addison really did have a cute nose.

"I want you too." Meredith continued. "I think my seat cushion has become a personal flotation device, actually." Meredith joked to break some of the sexual tension.

Addison gave a bark of laugher as she relaxed against her seat once more. "You're so bad." She murmured as she fiddled with her seatbelt buckle.

"You like me that way." Meredith said with a smile, glancing out the window.

They would be at cruising altitude soon.

"I love you that way." Addison replied in a soft tone of voice.

Meredith smiled and leaned her head against Addison's shoulder, feeling blissfully content, and incredibly turned on, all a the same time.

Curious.

* * *

They had reached cruising altitude and the pilot had informed them that the estimated time of arrival was about two and a half to three hours and that all systems were go.

"So there is just the two of them and just the two of us here?" Meredith asked as she wandered around the cabin.

"Yeah. Technically we could have someone taking care of serving drinks or something, but I opted for privacy. It's not a long flight and the galley is not complicated or anything." Addison said as she came up behind Meredith who was looking out one of the windows.

"Privacy, huh?" Meredith stated, leaning back into Addison. "How much privacy?" She asked.

"They have been asked to stay in the cockpit for anything short of us needing to bail out of the plane." Addison answered.

"I see." Meredith answered, turning in the circle of Addison's arms. "What shall we do with about two and a half, to three hours of time on our hands?" Meredith asked. "We could see what the in-flight movie is like." Addison said as she leaned in to kiss the side of Meredith's neck.

"Hmm, your ideas intrigue me." Meredith murmured distractedly, feeling the unmistakable thrill of Addison's kiss coursing through her body.

They had both been stewing for the entire day and the near miss of phone-fun earlier, coupled with the kiss at takeoff had left Meredith a heated mess. Never mind the fact that Addison just made Meredith's socks twirl on her feet. Sexy did not even begin to describe the redhead.

She was devastatingly hot, and possibly illegally so in several jurisdictions and countries.

Meredith arched to facilitate access for Addison, bracing herself against the seat she was standing next to. She was not part of the mile-high club yet, but joining this club in the cabin of a luxury jet that was privately owned jet did not seem like a bad proposition at all.

Add to that the thrill of knowing that there was absolutely nothing aside from a request from Addison that the pilots stay in the cockpit, made Meredith shiver in anticipation. She was not an exhibitionist by any means, but the mild threat of discovery certainly added a sharp edge of excitement to the proceedings.

"Come." Addison requested, pulling Meredith towards the back of the plane and then pushing her into the seat that was farthest from the cockpit and facing away from it.

Before Meredith could react to this new development, Addison slid herself into Meredith's lap, her knees finding ample room on the spacious seat beside Meredith's hips. Meredith reacted instantly, running her hands up Addison's back and pulling her closer until they were almost fused together on the seat.

Addison opened her eyes, looking Meredith directly in the eye as she did so. "Don't make me wait, Meredith." Addison said in a low voice that travelled down Meredith's body from her ears to her clitoris in an instant of heat and hunger.

Meredith reacted at once, bringing her hands to the front of Addison's slacks and opening the belt and then the waistband that held them together as Addison pressed herself hotly into Meredith. It was incredibly, beautifully distracting and Meredith was beginning to feel like she may swallow her tongue at any moment if she was not careful.

"My God, I want you." Meredith moaned directly into Addison's ear, feeling rather than hearing the intensity of the redhead's reaction to the words.

"Take me, then." Addison breathed as Meredith passed the final barrier of Addison's clothes and slid a nimble hand in and around Addison's panties, not hesitating as her fingers combed through damp hairs and not stopping until those fingers had slid into Addison, who tensed and then relaxed into the contact.

"Fuck." Addison hissed and Meredith reminded herself not to swallow her own tongue as she moved her hand.

The view was incredible. Addison arching and moving above her as the sky, clouds and world rushed past the windows and the low vibrating rumble of the powerful engines of the jet reverberated through her feet.

Moving her hand with skill and intent, Meredith pushed another finger into Addison and leaned in to kiss her in tandem with the movements of her fingers. Addison moaned breathlessly and pushed herself onto Meredith's hand. "More." She said after a moment and Meredith adjusted slightly before she slid a third finger into her lover and pushed up harder.

Addison's reaction sibilant, gasping and her head fell forward as Meredith moved her hand. "Fuck me." Addison moaned into the kiss.

Sanity fled.

Rising up, Meredith increase the tempo of her hand and with her free hand crushed Addison against herself, pushing harder and spreading her fingers out slightly, wanting to increase the sensation and the contact between herself and Addison. The reaction was instantaneous and in a few moments Addison was coming, hard. Meredith flinched when she felt her tongue being captured by sharp teeth and bitten but the pain quickly suffused to pleasure as Addison's orgasm washed over Meredith.

Oh. My. God.

Gasping for breath, Meredith held her lover as Addison rode out her orgasm and Meredith decided that at this point she did not care if both pilot and copilot came out and asked them to fly the plane. Meredith did not care about anything except this moment right now and Addison.

Wow.

Addison opened her eyes and looked at Meredith. "Hi." She murmured, smiling a lopsided smiled and looking well fucked.

"Hi." Meredith said, gently beginning to extract her hand from Addison, not wanting to cause her lover any discomfort.

Addison winced slightly, but did not complain, she simply leaned into Meredith and rested, catching her breath as they calmed down. Or well, Addison calmed down. Meredith could feel the tight pressure of her own arousal and the seam of her own pants was starting to feel mighty good at this moment.

Seeming to sense Meredith's quandary, Addison lifted herself gently from Meredith's lap and them knelt on the carpeted floor. "Your knee." Meredith could not help but saying. "My knee is fine." Addison said, pulling Meredith to the edge of the seat. "Now you just sit there and enjoy your flight as I show you just how high you can go with Addison Montgomery airlines and just what a pleasurable experience your trip will be."

Meredith would have laughed at the corniness of the line, except she was too distracted by the fact that Addison had already managed gain access to Meredith's pants and was busily pulling them down to the floor without pause.

It seemed that Addison was going to put her mouth to use and make good of her promise to give Meredith the trip of a lifetime. It was going to be a pleasure to become a fully fledged member of the mile-high club, Meredith could tell this already and her application was only half done so far.

She did not have a long time to think about membership rewards before Addison began to demonstrate them in earnest. Meredith pressed her feet into the floor of the cabin and wrapped her hands in Addison's hair as the unbearable pleasure of her lover's mouth drove her to madness.

"Don't stop." Meredith gasped as she felt Addison's tongue slide into her body and when Addison hummed in pleasure, Meredith almost came.

Seeming to sense that Meredith was on the edge, Addison intensified her movements, fusing her mouth to Meredith's body and it seemed to only take some seconds before Meredith was coming. Orgasm washed over her body and her nerves in a tingling wave of ecstasy that almost caused Meredith to black out.

Moments or lifetimes passed before Meredith's awareness returned and she was able to collect herself enough to actually open her eyes.

Managing to focus on Addison, she noted that the redhead looked wild and unbelievably sexy and very satisfied with herself. "You keep on looking at me like that and we are going to be performing our very own in-flight entertainment for the rest of the trip." Meredith breathed, reaching down to help Addison to her feet while she tried to organise herself enough to actually pull her own pants back up.

"I'd be hard pressed to come up with something I would rather be doing, actually." Addison said, her voice rumbling low in her chest as she wiped her mouth with the back of a hand and glanced around.

"Come on." Addison said, offering Meredith a hand up after Meredith had finally managed to secure her pants once more.

Following Addison, she soon found herself standing in front of what was obviously the plane's bathroom. "You first." Meredith said gallantly.

Addison smiled, raising an eyebrow at Meredith. "Are you saying that I should go wash my face?" She joked as she opened the door. "Not on my account, but if one of the pilots gets it into their head that they have to come out of the cockpit, it might be an idea." Meredith replied, leaning in to give Addison a quick but thorough kiss.

It had taken a little while for Meredith to get used to her own taste on Addison's lips, but now she found that not only did she like it, she loved it and what it represented.

The redhead vanished into the bathroom and Meredith was left to try to organise her clothes a little as she waited.

So this was the mile-high club.

Awesome.

* * *

**Chapter 45**

Landing in a private jet was as smooth as takeoff and without too much fuss, Meredith and Addison found themselves on the ground in LA with luggage in hand. Now it was simply a matter of getting to Malibu and to Addison's LA residence. "Our house." Addison had insisted as they make their way to the private car that Addison had hired in advance.

Meredith appreciated the statement. In Seattle they had actually completed some legal formalities to make Meredith's childhood home, their home. It only made sense and it would also ensure that Addison was protected in case something happened to Meredith. It was a morbid thought perhaps, but not something that either of them was prepared to neglect as they had both escaped the clutches of death quite recently, all things considered.

But, back to the matter at hand. Palm trees, bright, hot skies and traffic like Meredith had not seen in years were their company at the moment as they made their way through traffic, freeways and stop signs.

"Won't be long. We'll go out later and I will show you some things, but it's still too hot and too early." Addison had said as they made their way through the city.

Or well, the sprawling madness of it all.

Los Angeles was truly something to behold, Meredith decided as she looked out the windows of the car and tried to compare the vista to other places she had lived and been. This was not the first time that she had been to LA, but it had been a while and it truly was so unusual looking that she could not help but gawk a little.

"I live next door to a friend of mine, Sam." Addison said at a stoplight.

"I don't think he'll be home right now, but my friends can turn up at weird hours and unannounced." Addison continued, taking Meredith's hand in her own.

Meredith felt a frisson of nerves at the idea of dealing with and meeting Addison's friends. Hopefully they would like her, but Addison had made it clear that whatever her friends thought was of no concern in the end, what really mattered was what Addison thought of her and everyone else could either adjust, or get lost.

The protectiveness in the way that Addison phrased herself when she said this had warmed Meredith's heart, but she still hoped that Addison's friends liked her. It would certainly help, that much was clear.

Meredith dozed off as they sped down a freeway, the ride was going to take a little while longer and the tinted windows and fine shocks of the car made for a smooth ride. Addison seemed to be content to wrap her arms around Meredith as they drove and for along while Meredith felt the warmth and safety of being loved as her somnolence overcame her and allowed time to go unnoticed.

The car stopping woke Meredith up and she sat up to look around. "Whose car is that?" Addison wondered out loud and Meredith followed her gaze.

"Friend of yours?" Meredith asked.

"Does not seem familiar." Addison mused as they got out of the car and the driver unloaded their luggage and carried it to the front doorstep.

Addison handed the man a tip and sent him on his way before she turned to look back at her home. "Well, we are about to find out." Addison murmured and they walked together to the door.

No sooner had they arrived when the door opened and a woman stepped out who looked vaguely familiar to Meredith for a reason that she could not pinpoint.

"Amelia?" Addison said, quite surprised. "What are you doing here?" She added, walking up to the woman.

"Well, I was in the area for a case and Sam let me in and told me to come and wait for you" The woman said enthusiastically and then she and Addison embraced warmly. "I'm leaving in the morning." The woman added.

Obviously they were good friends. Maybe this was the first of Addison's California friends that Meredith was about to meet. And who was Sam?

"That's too bad." Addison said and did not hurry to release her friend from the embrace.

"How have you been?" Amelia asked Addison.

"Wait, there is someone I want you to meet." Addison said and pulled Meredith forward.

"This is Doctor Meredith Grey." Addison said and Meredith could hear the slightly wary tone in her voice. "Meredith, this is Doctor Amelia Shepherd, Baby Shepherd, Derek's sister." Meredith automatically took the hand that she was being offered and looked at the other woman.

"Pleased to meet you." She said, wondering why on earth Derek's sister was visiting Addison.

"Wait, are you the Meredith Grey that broke up Addison's and Derek's marriage? The Slutty Intern?" The woman said with sudden realisation.

Meredith resisted the urge to laugh at the choice of phrase.

"Slutty Resident, now." Meredith said with forced humour.

This was going well.

"And not slutty, either." Addison was quick and firm to defend Meredith and there was a definite note of warning in her tone.

Meredith idly wondered when she had started to memorise Addison's intonations so precisely. Had she started when they had first met all that time ago, or was it more recent.

_Focus, Meredith._

"Fine." Amelia said, waving her hands expressively but not pausing in her interrogation.

"What, are you two BFF's now or something, Addie?" Amelia pressed for answers, sounding incredulous.

Now Meredith did laugh out loud. She thought she could like this Amelia Shepherd if given half a chance. Hopefully she would get that opportunity.

"Better than that." Addison said, taking Meredith's hand. "We are together." Addison said firmly, a note of pride in her voice.

"What?" Amelia asked. "But you're with Derek." Amelia pointed to Meredith.

"Aren't you?" Amelia continued, sounding confused.

"Not anymore, not for a while actually." Meredith said, shrugging. "I guess he failed to mention that." Meredith added as an afterthought.

"Oh." Amelia said, looking between Meredith and Addison.

"but he gave you my mother's ring!" Amelia said as Addison pushed past her and pulled Meredith along with her.

"We are so not doing whatever this is on the front porch." Addison said as she arranged Meredith slightly behind her in a very protective fashion.

"I gave the ring back." Meredith interjected, feeling Addison grab hold of her hand in silent support.

This was proving to be an interesting start to her California vacation. Meredith would much rather have been doing almost anything else, though.

"Do you want me to go to a hotel or something?" Meredith asked, feeling very uncomfortable suddenly, it was clear that Addison and Amelia were very good friends and Meredith did not want to get in the middle.

"No." Addison said at once. "This is your home as well, just like the house in Seattle is my home." Addison tightened her grip on Meredith as she said the words and looked directly at Amelia.

Amelia looked surprised and opened her mouth to say something before closing it again and crossing her arms defensively. Meredith just wished she was someplace else, but Addison wanted her here and had just emphatically stated that this was her home as well.

And now this.

"Please don't make me choose, Ami." Addison said quietly, sounding like she was not happy at all.

"When the hell did this happen anyway?" She asked, sounding less ominous now and more curious.

Addison for her part relaxed slightly and the death grip that she had on Meredith's hand eased up. "A while ago." Addison breathed. "You want to sit down and hear the whole story, or are you going to walk out on me?" Addison asked.

"It would kill me if you did, but I am with her now and this is how it is." Addison continued.

"I've never walked away from you Addison and I never will, you know that. But, you've got to give me some time to be shocked and surprised, you know." Amelia replied, taking a deep breath.

"So, let's sit and you tell me what is going on, okay?" The woman said. "No one tells me anything about anything. You'd think Derek would have said something." Amelia murmured as they moved to the living room.

Meredith did not really have time to look around just yet but maybe in a short while the guided tour could commence.

* * *

After they had sojourned into the house the three women sat down and Addison seemed to relax as she reclined near Meredith, but not too far away from her friend either. "So what exactly have you two been up to and since when?" Amelia asked succinctly.

"It's been a while now." Addison said, obviously trying to remember exactly since when this had been going on but failing.

"Sorry, I was involved in a car accident and lost consciousness and had concussion, so I am a little fuzzy on the details." Addison sighed, sounding tired.

"You what?" Amelia exclaimed. "Okay, one of you start from the beginning and don't leave anything out." The woman insisted, making herself comfortable. "Well, come on, I haven't got all day you know." She added, waving her hands at them in a hurry up motion.

Meredith laughed. She liked this Amelia. Hopefully the rest of Addison's friends would be equally receptive to her. "Well it started with a kiss." Addison said and Meredith could not help but wonder if it has started in an Elevator, or even before that and if this had simply taken a good deal of time to manifest in the end.

"Actually, I think the Elevator is a starting point." Meredith suggested mildly.

Addison looked at her intently. "Hm, I do believe you're right." She said and then they settled in to tell Amelia the story so far.

For her part, Addison just seemed to be very happy to be talking to one of her friends in more detail about the whole situation and in a way, Amelia reminded Meredith of Cristina. Maybe this was Addison's person?

The story telling eventually moved to the kitchen where coffee was made and laughter ensued as some of the funnier anecdotes were shared and Amelia seemed genuinely charmed at the whole process. Meredith hesitated to elaborate on what had occurred in the trailer on the night that she and Derek had broken up, but Addison did not mince words.

She bluntly told Amelia that her brother had been a real asshole and that he had some ways to go still to make amends for it. It took two to tango, after all.

"He what?" Amelia asked, outraged as she sipped her coffee.

Meredith already felt as if she had known the woman for much longer than she already had and Meredith was also enjoying the retelling of the story of the events of the last few months. It seemed to give them life as Meredith and Addison talked about them and also, someone else who was not so closely involved with the situation was hearing about it and laughing and seemed to be on their side.

All of this was good in Meredith's opinion. Very good.

"Well, I have go to go. Places to go, people to see." Amelia said at last and rose to her feet. "I will come by tomorrow before I leave and now that I am officially in the know, no keeping me in the dark anymore." Amelia continued and embrace Meredith warmly before she turned to Addison.

"You can stay, you know. I have plenty of room." Addison insisted and it was obvious that she wanted Amelia to stay.

"Nah. I'll drop by tomorrow, though. Just make sure you're decent, I am young and innocent you know." Amelia laughed and gave Addison another squeeze for good measure.

"You better invite me to the wedding." She murmured at the rather flummoxed looking redhead.

"Just for that I am going to make sure that the bride's maids dresses are really suitable, I'd hate for you to miss out on that experience." Addison responded with a laugh, embracing her friend warmly.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure everyone is in scrubs." Meredith said at the look of mock horror on Amelia's face.

It felt good to joke and laugh and Meredith felt a weight she had not even been aware of lift off her chest.

This would work out and it was going to be good.

Addison walked her friend to the door and after a few minutes and some conversation snippets, she returned to where Meredith was still sitting. "So, that went well." Addison commented as she sat down next to Meredith and reached for her coffee.

"Yes. Hard to imagine her as Derek's sister." Meredith commented, pulling Addison closer to herself.

"He's got four of them, would you believe." Addison murmured as they cuddled on the couch.

Somehow the guided tour of the house felt like it could wait.

"What will your family think of you?" Meredith asked after a beat.

Aside from her father, whom she barely knew, and Lexie, who in a way was a complete stranger to her, the only family Meredith had was Addison and the people at te hospital. But Addison had a mother and a father and a brother.

What would they think of her?

"My mother will probably be charmed by you. My dad has some issues, mainly because of mom, but you've met him and could see what he was like. My brother, I am not sure. In any case we shall see and what matters to me, is what I think of you." Addison replied after a while.

"I love you." Addison whispered into Meredith's hair.

"I love you too." Meredith said in answer, turning to kiss Addison lightly on the lips.

Hopefully the rest of their California sojourn would go this well.

* * *

"Do you think they will like me?" Meredith asked as Addison pulled out of her driveway.

They were going to go to Addison's practise to see some of her coworkers before they would retire to the beach house for the evening. Addison wanted to get some business out of the way to allow them to enjoy some leisure time uninterrupted.

"Yes, I think they will." Addison said as she drove. "They can be a bit, eclectic though here in California, so just remember that when you interact with them. They are a bit, fruity." Addison laughed at her own description and Meredith was left to wonder just what exactly her lover was talking about.

Meredith leaned back as Addison accelerated her powerful car down the street that led away from her house. The small Audi TT rumbled under Meredith's feet and through the seat that she was sitting in and somehow infused Meredith with a feeling of thrill and anticipation.

"You like the car?" Addison asked, glancing over at Meredith with a inscrutable look on her face.

"Very nice." Meredith breathed. "Really?" Addison queried. "Well then, I think we need to do some test driving before we head into the practise." Addison murmured and started to drive with purpose.

Observing the flex of Addison's exposed legs made Meredith feel breathless. They had changed into clothes that were more suited for Malibu after Amelia had left and that were more synonymous with a vacation as well. Addison was wearing an airy dress and Meredith was in shorts.

"Ready?" Addison asked, a flash of white teeth broadcasting something that Meredith could not identify.

"For what?" Meredith queried as acceleration forces pressed her back into the seat and Addison shifted the car into a higher gear. "This." Addison said over the roar of the engines, and with the words they hopped onto a two lane road that seemed to stretch on forever but that was void of traffic.

Meredith did not have much time to think about what this all meant when Addison pressed down on the gas and the powerful car leapt forward, feeling like a barely restrained racehorse as it surged down the stretch of black asphalt. Addison laughed as she drove and the there was a freedom and exhilaration in the sound that captured Meredith's attention and coiled its way around her lower abdomen.

Looking away from the rushing scenery at Addison, it was plan to see that the redhead was enjoying herself immensely. Her eyes were sparking and her hands were sure as they gripped the wheel and it was hot. Plain and simple. It was hot.

"If you keep driving like this, I am going to be a very bad girl." Meredith murmured as she leaned over to talk directly into Addison's ear.

Resting her hand on Addison's strong thigh and feeling the flex of muscle and sinew under the soft skin, Meredith wrestled with her self control. She wanted to move her hand higher, she wanted to feel Addison as she drove this pretty, hot car. Addison for her part gasped for breath a little at Meredith's words and the car slowed down perceivably. "Be good." Addison said under her breath, just loud enough for Meredith to hear.

"Not if you keep driving like this." Meredith said simply in reaction.

Addison glanced at her and apparently saw something in her face because she slowed down and quickly did a bootleg turn at a speed that pressed Meredith further into Addison but which also showcased the redhead's driving ability. Meredith was impressed and turned on even more and if there was going to be any hope of them actually getting to Addison's practise before the hour became too much later, Meredith was going to have to regain some control over herself.

Somehow.

Pulling off onto the shoulder of the road, Addison put the car into neutral and pulled on the handbrake. A moment later she grabbed Meredith and kissed her without any preamble. It was a hot, hungry, wild kiss that made Meredith forget to breathe and in a moment she found herself climbing over the seat to straddle Addison's lap as the reverberations of the engine coursed through Addison's body into Meredith's own.

By now, Addison was fucking Meredith with her mouth and had slid her hands up the back of the button down blouse that Meredith as wearing and the contact of those coveted hands against her skin and Addison's mouth on her's, made Meredith's head spin. Arousal flared in fifty foot high flames in her body as she crushed herself into Addison and fought for dominance in the kiss.

A sharp nip to her lip and the sharp coppery tang of blood joined the kiss and Meredith hissed in a reaction that was pain and pleasure and exquisite. Addison finally pulled away a little and leaned back, her hands idly caressing Meredith's back as they both gasped. "You bit me." Meredith commented as she licked her abused lip and considered ways of getting back at Addison as hormones and delicious madness burned through her veins.

"You make me crazy." Addison finally said as she opened her eyes and looked directly into Meredith's.

The primal wildness in those beloved eyes made Meredith stutter for breath. "Don't look at me like that." Meredith moaned softly, arching into Addison, pressing down on her body and feeling the seam of her own shorts rub against her in a manner that would soon cause Meredith to lose her mind.

"Like what?" Addison asked dangerously, making no effort to push Meredith off her lap. "Like that." Meredith said as she leaned in to kiss Addison lightly.

"This is your fault." Meredith said as she reluctantly peeled away from Addison. "And just for that, you are going to take me for a drive in this hot little machine someplace where state troopers and time constraints are not an issue." Meredith added as she flopped back into her seat and made an effort to rearrange her clothes before she buckled up again.

"Well, this settles it. The car is coming to Seattle as well." Addison muttered to herself, just loud enough for Meredith to hear.

Laughing, Meredith threw her head back in pleasure and ran her hand along Addison's arm appreciatively. "Good." She said in response.

Addison pulled back into the civilised world of streets and houses and away from the temptation of the open road, engines and hot landscapes and with that Meredith tried to compose herself. Showing up with come _fuck me hair_ and a lazy smile on her face, might not be the best way to meet Addison's coworkers and friends.

Though maybe it would be. Meredith shook her head slightly at herself and turned her attention back on Addison. If Meredith had not known any better, she would have sworn that Addison was completely composed. The thing was that Meredith knew better and that knowledge thrilled her to no end.

Hot and bothered and in California.

That sounded like the title of a movie, actually. Meredith wanted to have that movie experience as soon as possible, actually and from the way a slight blush graced Addison's fine neck, Meredith knew that the feeling was mutual.

Very mutual.

What fun.

* * *

**Chapter 46**

As Addison pulled into the parking spot in front of her private practice the sun was beginning to set and the air was calm and dry. It was a far cry from the near constant threat of rain that Seattle possessed. "Ready?" Addison queried as she grabbed her purse and looked at Meredith.

"As I'll ever be." Meredith replied, feeling the nervous flutter of anticipation in her stomach.

"It will be fine." Addison said reassuringly. "You'll see." She added, giving Meredith's hand a squeeze.

Meredith nodded and grabbed at the door handle. "They know about us?" Meredith asked as she opened the car door.

"They know I am on my way back to Seattle, and know that it is a person who has lured me back. Naomi knows who you are." Addison exprapolated as she stepped out of the car and waited for Meredith to join her.

"Great, so this has the potential to be lots of fun." Meredith murmured with some trepidation.

"Nah. This is LA. They will be more upset that you have lured me away back to Seattle than about the fact that you are a woman. In fact I doubt anyone will care about your gender, actually." Addison said with a laugh as she took Meredith's hand and they walked together into the building.

"I don't know for sure who is going to be around at this hour, but most of them should be at work, or they normally are anyway." Addison said and then the doors closed behind them.

Meredith started to feel the inexorable march of destiny catch up with her as they approached the offices where Addison had been working since she had left Seattle.

"Addison!" A male voice said and Meredith turned to see a man walking up to them.

"Pete!" Addison said with warmth and a moment later shared a hug with the man.

Meredith vaguely wondered at the history between the two of them as the hug lasted just a moment longer that it would have had they been simply friends. She was actually curious about the history that Addison had with all of these people, to be honest. Maybe she could persuade Addison to divulge more information one of these nights.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were getting ready to go back to Seattle?" The man, Pete, asked.

"I am. Had to come and clear up some business and I wanted to show someone where I had been hanging out for the last while." Addison said and then pulled Meredith forward gently.

"This is Doctor Meredith Grey. She is the reason I decided to go back to Seattle full time." Addison sounded happy as she said the words and Meredith wanted to share her happiness, but that would depend in part on how this man reacted to the information.

"Doctor Pete Wilder." The man said in a genuine tone and shook Meredith's hand. "Well, I can see why Addison picked you over California." He did not seem uptight about it, so Meredith was pleased to shake his hand and smile.

"I hear you will borrow her from time to time." Meredith said, remembering that Addison had said that she would be doing some consulting from time to time with her colleagues in California.

"Pleased to meet you." She added and hoped that the rest of the group was as amenable.

"Violet is out on a case." Pete said to Addison. "Charlotte, Cooper, and Naomi are here though." Pete added and Meredith felt her palms begin to sweat at that news.

"Nice place." Meredith commented as they walked past reception to what looked to be offices.

It was a nice place, truly. Opulent and oozing of the promise of a wealthy clientele.

"So you two are together then?" Pete asked as they stopped at the door of a conference room.

"Yes." Addison said with another smile. "I think California had a very good affect on me." Addison continued as Pete opened the door. "It made me miss rain and well, when I saw Meredith again things just happened to make this happen." Addison said airily and Meredith could not help but smile at the other woman.

In the room were three other people and a baby.

A baby?

"Lucas." Addison exclaimed happily and moved forward towards the child.

"Oh, I've missed you, sweetheart." Addison said softly and picked up the baby and held him close to her body.

"My son." Pete said sheepishly, sounding like he was still getting used to the idea.

"Everyone, this is Doctor Meredith Grey, from Seattle." Pete said after a pause.

Addison was still preoccupied with baby Lucas who was cooing for her and smiling in a way that clearly indicated that he was just as taken by Addison as Meredith was. Who could blame the little guy after all?

"Naomi Bennett, Charlotte King and Cooper Freedman, doctors, of course." Pete continued and pointed at the people in the room.

Naomi was someone whom Meredith was familiar with from before so she greeted them warmly and smiled when Naomi rose from her seat to walk over to her and then Naomi actually gave Meredith a hug.

Meredith decided that Charlotte was probably the _not so California_ one amongst the group. She probably had sharp edges and was someone that you either loved or hated. Someone like Charlotte would be a refreshing change in this sort of environment, without a doubt.

Cooper was an unknown entity to Meredith, but he set off her smarmy guy radar warning system immediately.

"Doctor Grey is the reason that Addison is leaving us." Pete said simply and at the words Addison looked up.

Well, the cat was well and truly out of the bag now.

"Is that so?" Charlotte said, turning to look at Addison who seemed to sense the scrutiny and raised her eyes from the baby in her arms to look at Charlotte in an almost challenging fashion.

"How's muff diving working out for you?" Charlotte queried with good humoured malice and before Meredith could react, Addison had wadded up a napkin from the table and thrown it at her coworker.

"You should try it someday." Addison murmured with a saucy wink, before she turned back to the baby in her arms and proceeded to ignore whatever else Charlotte was going to say.

Lucas for his part seemed to be ecstatic about this new development and Meredith could not help but be charmed as she watched the woman she loved interact with the tiny human in her arms.

"You offering?" This was Cooper who said this and at the words Addison shot the man a glare that would have turned an ordinary person to stone but it was clear Mr. Smarmy was quite immune to that sort of look.

No doubt he got it often enough.

Meredith was tempted to laugh, but whatever was said or going to be said was interrupted by the rapid succession of pagers going off and then by the cacophony of mobile phones ringing immediately afterwards.

"Whoops." Pete said and then everyone was standing up, reaching for their pagers and phones and putting down their coffee in a chaotic synchrony that Meredith found somehow impressive.

Whatever was going on seemed to require the attention of pretty much everyone at the same time. Meredith wondered idly what it could be, but there was no time for much speculation to happen.

"Um, can you keep Lucas for a while?" Pete asked Addison quietly, who nodded automatically.

"Sorry, Addison, Meredith. I'll come back as soon as I can." Naomi said and squeezed the redhead's arm.

"How did you manage to keep this a secret?" Addison asked Naomi, sounding incredulous.

Naomi laughed and looked around and Meredith got the impression that Naomi was not the person who one should divulge state secrets to. "Well, it seemed really important this time, Addison. I can keep a secret, I just need to remember to." Naomi rolled her eyes at Addison and chuckles were heard behind her.

"Don't christen the coffee table, others have to eat off it." Charlotte said in a wicked done and then they were all gone, leaving Meredith and Addison alone with baby Lucas.

"Well, that was weird." Meredith volunteered.

"They'll be back." Addison said with confidence. "They won't be able to stay away, especially not after I order Chinese food." Addison said with a laugh and flipped out her mobile phone as she cradled the peacefully resting baby in her arms.

"You're something else." Meredith murmured as she watched the formidable Doctor Addison Montgomery multitask.

"I am." Addison whispered with a wink during a pause in her phone call.

Meredith reflected that dinner was going to be an interesting experience to say the least. Part of her wanted to run away, another part of her wanted to know what was going to happen. Most of her simply wanted to be with Addison, come what may.

* * *

Addison was done with her ordering and was now sitting at the table with Lucas balanced in a sitting position in front of her. The little boy was playing with her hair and face and Addison was smiling. It was clear that she really enjoyed the child and as Meredith moved around the side of the table to sit next to Addison she could see why.

He was cute.

And adorable and sweet.

"Do you look after him often?" Meredith asked as she had one of her fingers seized by the child as he discovered a new playmate when she sat down next to his current one.

"Often enough. He is Pete and Violet's child, though Pete is raising him." Addison said, carefully holding the baby upright and tickling him under his little arms.

Lucas shrieked with delight.

"He seems to really like you." Meredith said warmly, enjoying the feel of the tiny hand that was holding on to one of her fingers.

"Lucas and I go way back, don't we buddy?" Addison murmured at the little boy.

"I mean Pete, actually." Meredith said as she found her hair entrapped by baby hands.

Baby Lucas seemed to be delighted that he had golden coloured hair to play with now as well as copper coloured.

"Oh, I guess. We had a thing once but really he has more issues than National Geographic." Addison extrapolated, seeming to disinterested in the whole topic.

"So do I." Meredith murmured as she gently untangled tiny fingers from her hair and immediately had her ears grabbed instead.

"Not really, Meredith. No more than I do. The thing is that you and I function fine with our issues for the most part. Sometimes they spill over but usually they are simply there, you know?" Addison replied and picked Lucas up and then carefully handed him over to Meredith.

"He wants to be held by you." Addison said as Meredith automatically wrapped her arms and hands around the miniature human she had been handed.

"He's about a year old, so not like a newborn. Don't worry." Addison reassured the suddenly nervous Meredith.

Lucas for his part seemed to be utterly content to bury his head in Meredith's chest and had soon closed his eyes to sleep. "He's got the right idea." Addison commented, pointing at the child.

Meredith blushed slightly. "Well, for him I will make an exception." Meredith replied. "For you too, obviously, but you're going to have to get in line." She added and Addison snorted with amusement.

"Will it be like this with us?" Meredith asked in a soft voice as she held the baby while Addison sat on the table facing them, with her own hands gently touching the sleeping Lucas.

"If we wish it." Addison said equally softly.

"Babies tend to be what they are made to be." Addison continued, her hands moving to stroke Meredith's hair and face.

"Kind of like puppies, I suppose." Meredith sighed sleepily.

She was suddenly feeling very tired, it had been a long day and well, holding a sleeping baby was obviously an excellent sleeping drought.

"Yes, kind of like puppies, but more high maintenance and less obedient." Addison laughed lightly and Meredith felt her heart glow in response to the tone.

"Can't wait to find out for myself." Meredith said as she leaned back slightly to find a more comfortable position.

"Me either." Addison murmured, glancing at her watch.

"I wonder what's going on." She murmured at the absence of her colleagues.

"Something California, for sure." Meredith said in reply, opening her eyes and looking at Addison. "Tell me I'm wrong." She added at Addison's incredulous look.

"You're not wrong." Addison said with mirth. "I'd pay to see Cristina deal with some of the high maintenance LA types here." Addison shook with suppressed laugher and Meredith was hard pressed to not loud outright at the statement.

"She has a knack. It could actually be very popular here. People would pay to be abused by her. Their therapists would reassure them that it would help them get over their issues with authority, or their mother's or their fifth grade math teachers, or something." Addison mused.

"At least my therapist does not let me get away with such nonsense." Meredith commented. "Yeah, took me a while to find one here that did not make me want to use paddles on them to shock them back to reality." Addison laughed lightly.

"You'll find a good one in Seattle, I am sure." Meredith said, freeing one hand from the sleeping Lucas to grab one of Addison's hands.

"Yeah." Addison said and then there was a comfortable silence as they watched the baby sleep in Meredith's arms.

"You should take him." Meredith said, realising that when they left California it might be a while before Addison saw the child again.

Addison opened her arms and a few moments later the sleeping child was resting contentedly in Addison's arms. "You look good with a baby in your arms, Addison." Meredith said as she stood up and pressed a kiss on Addison's temple.

"Thank you." Addison murmured and returned her focus to the boy in her arms.

"I want one like him." Meredith said of the sleeping boy.

It was true.

"Well, we could take him with us. Might take them a while to notice since there will be food to distract them." Addison joked, smiling at Meredith.

Laughing lightly, Meredith yawned and shifted in her seat. She wanted to be in bed, asleep. Fatigue was beginning to weigh heavily on her and it had been a long day.

There was a light knock on the door. "That would be dinner." Addison said, nodding at her purse. "Pay for it will you and give the man a good tip, I sweet talked the restaurant into delivering when they normally don't." Addison finished saying just as Meredith opened the door and observed a young man laden with bags of food at the doorstep.

"Hi." Meredith said in a low voice and groped through Addison's wallet, quickly paying the bill and giving the man a good tip for being quick and for talking his way past the receptionist with such apparent ease.

Putting the bags of food onto the table, Meredith stretched out her back. "I'm tired." She commented. "Can I curl up in your arms and sleep?" She asked as she pulled out the various packages and cartons of food from the bags and arranged them into what seemed to be logical piles.

"Anytime." Addison said with a big smile, the love was actually radiating towards Meredith as she spoke and Meredith basked in the sensation.

"Come here." Addison said.

Meredith came closer and rested her head on Addison's shoulder. "The others will be here soon." Addison said as they sat in comfortable silence.

"Okay." Meredith answered, feeling herself relax.

Come what may, she could handle it as long as Addison was at her side.

* * *

By the time they had left Oceanside Wellness Group offices, it was late. There had been a lot of talk and some eating and overall it seemed that Addison's colleagues had been mostly fine with the fact that Addison had decided to go back to Seattle.

Upon discovering just who Meredith was related to, there had been some focused interest on Meredith that did not deal with her position of being Addison's girlfriend. It would seem that the reputation of many of Meredith's bosses extended far beyond the walls of the hospital and Meredith had found herself fascinated by this knowledge.

Naomi and Addison had eventually retired for a while to a private office, leaving Meredith alone to deal with whoever else was coming and going but she had done find. It seems that the place where Addison had been working was not really filled with sharks looking for the scent of blood in the water.

But, now they were on their way home and Meredith found that she was almost dead on her feet, her fatigue was so profound and while Addison drove she focused her attention on staying awake, mainly. "I liked them." Meredith said as the lights of the city flickered by the darkened car windows.

"I'm glad. They liked you as well." Addison murmured in reply. "Even Charlotte, she's always like that, so the fact that she was not worse is a pretty good indication that she liked you." Addison was of course referring to the sharpness and hard wit of Charlotte.

Meredith had decided that she rather liked the acerbic overtone that coloured the blonde doctor's personality. It was a little like Cristina, though Cristina was not really intentionally the way she was. She just was the way she was, Cristina. Perfect for Meredith in so many ways.

"We'll try to catch up with Sam and Violet soon." Addison said of her two missing coworkers. "Violet is Lucas' mother." Addison said softly and something in her voice told Meredith that there was a lot to that story that she did not know.

"The birth of Lucas was very traumatic and difficult; horrifying actually." Addison continued and Meredith saw that her grip on the steering wheel had tightened to a white knuckled level. "Violet is still quite broken because of it, I am not sure she will ever recover to be able to become what a mother should be to Lucas." Addison sighed as she spoke and Meredith decided that a change of topic might be in order.

"And Sam?" Meredith asked. "He's Naomi's ex-husband." Addison replied. "It's complicated." She added blithely.

"It's always complicated." Meredith agreed as Addison turned the car into her driveway and a few moments later they were home.

"God, I am tired." Addison said. "Please make sure you force me to take a shower, I can't imagine going to bed otherwise, but I might if I get too close to one." Addison pleased and Meredith laughed.

"No problem, darling." Meredith promised with a smile and then they were out of the car making their way to the front door and finally when they closed it behind them, they were home.

"Time for bed." Meredith said firmly and pulled Addison along with her.

She had visited the bedroom briefly earlier, but aside from noting that it was airy and well decorated, the only other thing she had seen was that it had a balcony. Something to explore later, when she was not sleepy enough to actually fall off said balcony.

That would not do at all.

Right now, however, Meredith was concerned with Addison. The redhead was clearly exhausted and was that a limp?

"Shower, bed, Addison. You can give me the sumptuous guided tour of this beautiful place tomorrow." Meredith coaxed the unusually pliable Addison to the bathroom and kissed her before leaving her lover to attend to her evening ablutions in peace.

While Meredith located her luggage and marvelled that the bedroom could easily fit the living room in the Seattle home into it, she heard the shower turn on. Addison would be quick, she was exhausted and so was Meredith.

Throwing open her suitcase, Meredith dug around before locating a robe and her toiletries and then she started to undress, walking towards the balcony doors as she did. The view outside of them was breathtaking, even at night and Meredith could not help but open the balcony doors as she shimmied out of her clothes.

Standing naked in the doorway of the balcony, Meredith let the feel of salt and night and calm wash over her. It truly was beautiful and unique and it made her want to stretch out her body and go running along the sand in the night.

Absorbed as she was in her personal musings and the hypnotising view, Meredith failed to realise that Addison was out of the shower until she felt arms encircle her from behind and the light touch of lips on her shoulder. Addison's hands curled around Meredith's front, moving up to cup her breasts as that coveted mouth kissed along the side of her neck in the warm night.

Lost in the moment, Meredith did not realise that Addison had moved them forward onto the balcony until she felt the gentle breeze touch her from all sides and felt the press of the night join Addison's caress. Lifting her hands, Meredith cupped Addison's head, threading her hands though damp hair and forgetting all about being tired as Addison moved her mouth to kiss Meredith on the lips.

Moaning in earnest now, Meredith turned within the circle of Addison's arms and pulled on the belt of her robe, quickly exposing the other woman's body. Meredith smiled in the dim light, feeling the heat radiate off Addison's body as she did. "I love you." She murmured, stepping into Addison's arms and kissing her again, losing herself to the moment, to the night and to desire.

It was not until later, when Meredith herself was all showered and they were laying in bed drifting along the edges of sleep that Meredith remembered what she had meant to ask Addison earlier. Now, as she rested comfortably in the perfect embrace of her lover, with her body still vibrating from pleasure that she doubted she would ever get used to the intensity of.

"Have you thought of names, or when we would have kids?" Meredith turned over to look at Addison as she asked the question, relishing the sensation of skin on skin as she moved.

"Hmm, not really. Yes?" Addison murmured, sounding like she was half asleep. "Just so long as it is with you and we're not too old to run after the children when it happens." Addison continued and snuggled in closer to Meredith, sighing contentedly as she did.

"Okay." Meredith was happy with this reply and decided that the subject of names could wait until another time.

Addison was asleep now and Meredith felt her own body slow and then drift off.

She rather liked California.

* * *

"How does bacon and eggs and a walk on the beach sound?" Addison asked Meredith the next morning as they sat in her kitchen sipping truly delicious coffee.

"Sounds divine." Meredith answered, smiling broadly at the thought. "You make my life so much fun, you know that?" Meredith added, the words tumbling from her mouth before she could think better of it.

"I'm glad." Addison said, reaching over and squeezing Meredith's hand gently.

"I also make a mean breakfast so you just sit there and let me spoil you." Addison continued and stood up to go examine the contents of her fridge.

"How is it that your fridge is stocked and you have not been home for a long time?" Meredith asked idly as she leaned back in her chair and watched Addison.

In a minute she'd get up to help, but right now she was enjoying the view of Addison bending over. "I had someone come in to clean and stock things up." Addison answered as she stood up and held out bacon and eggs in triumph.

Again Meredith was reminded of the differences between her and Addison. For the most part, whatever Meredith wanted done, she had to do herself when it came to her house, this remodelling notwithstanding. Addison on the other hand no doubt had gardeners, and a maid and someone to look after the mundane things in her house even when she was around.

Hopefully the wedding of their two worlds would work well. Meredith kind of liked the idea of having people who were paid to do things like shovel snow, or weed the garden or whatever stuff, but she could not imagine not doing some things herself.

With that in mind, Meredith stood up to freshen their coffee cups and squeeze some oranges for juice. Addison for her part was happily making some very decadent looking bacon and Meredith realised that she was also frying the bread they were about to eat.

The walk on the beach would be needed after this.

In ten more minutes they were sitting down again and Addison was telling Meredith what she needed to do in order to ensure that her move to Seattle went smoothly. "Boring banking stuff and some packing, mainly." Addison concluded as she pushed her plate away and reached for her coffee cup.

"How long will it take?" Meredith only had a limited time to be away from the hospital as she was only a Resident, but she wanted to be there for Addison as much as possible and not rush her.

"Only a few days at most. I think we can assume to leave here the day after tomorrow or so." Addison murmured as she finished her coffee.

Meredith was already done with her breakfast and was feeling quite full and comfortable. "Ready for that walk I promised you?" Addison asked as they carried the dishes to the kitchen and put them near the sink.

"Absolutely." Meredith answered. "You're dressed just right." Addison said, pointing at Meredith's loose cotton pants and tee shirt.

"No shoes are needed." Addison said, obviously anticipating Meredith's questions for the time being. "Come on." The redhead encouraged and a moment later they were walking towards the private beach that lay behind Addison's house.

"Do you walk here a lot?" Meredith asked as they made their way to the water's edge.

"Sometimes." Addison replied as Meredith let the cool Pacific waters caress between her toes. "It just depends on what is going on, I suppose." She added after a moment.

"I can understand that." Meredith said as she retreated before her pants got wet.

The sand was still cool under their feet, and very soothing. It felt heavenly, actually and Meredith rolled up her pant legs before she grabbed Addison's hand and looked out over the water. "I think this is a view that I would take a while to tire of." Meredith said after a moment before she felt Addison's arms wrap around her from behind.

"Good." Addison whispered into Meredith's ear and then kissed just below it as the morning sun proceeded to make it's way up the sky.

The two of them stood in blissful silence, just watching the sun and the sea and feeling the sand between their toes. It felt exquisite to be held, to be loved. Meredith closed her eyes and let the moment engulf her.

"Addison?" A male voice intruded upon the bliss and Meredith could feel Addison jump in reaction.

There was no let up in her embrace though and Meredith felt Addison turn to the speaker. "Hi Sam." Addison said and Meredith noted a measure of tension in her voice as she spoke.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, sounding shocked.

* * *

**Chapter 47**

Meredith felt Addison twitch before she turned towards Sam. "What do you mean?" Addison asked simply, making no effort to pull away from Meredith.

As they stood together, Meredith got an impression that this was some sort of empirical test for Addison, and maybe even herself. Either they climbed into the glass closet, or they faced the world together.

"Now this?" Sam asked waving his hands at them. "What do you mean, Sam?" Addison had an edge in her voice now and Meredith wondered just where this was leading.

She had met Sam in Seattle some time ago, but that memory versus this event on the beach were not in any way related. "I thought Grey was with Shepherd. I mean what, Addison, you had to go after someone who was taken?" Sam seemed to be angry and frustrated and it made Meredith wonder about the history between him and Addison.

"Actually, I pursued her." Meredith interjected, putting a protective arm around Addison and holding her close. "I fail to see why you care so much." Meredith added, not about to stand by as Sam all but called Addison a slut.

"This does not concern you, Meredith. It is between me and Addison." Sam sounded impatient and almost patronising as he spoke.

"No, this does concern me. Addison is the woman I love and you are toeing the line right now in how you are speaking to her." Meredith interjected, feeling Addison breathe in deeply beside her.

Sam looked at her fully and Meredith thought that she saw something flicker in his eyes in reaction to her words. "I thought you and I had something." Sam said in turn to Addison. "What you think and what is fact are two separate things, Sam." Addison replied at once, her voice firm.

"I want to be your friend, Sam, but not if you're going to be like this. I have made my decision." Addison said tiredly, obviously wanting to leave the situation. "If I can't walk along the beach in the morning with the woman I love without you getting in my face, then I don't want you around me at all." Addison said with finality.

"Whoa, you can't blame me for having some reaction to this." Sam said defensively.

"Actually, she can." This was Meredith who spoke. "Think about what you're doing. It's not exactly good manners. There would have been better ways for you to handle this." Meredith added.

When Sam took a breath to say something in his defence again, Meredith cut him off. "If you had been at Oceanside yesterday you would have heard the announcement like everyone else did. So don't say what you're going to say next." Meredith knew enough about people that she knew that Sam was going to say that he had no idea and of course he was shocked.

"She's right, Sam. You can't do this and expect me to be understanding. This is my life and if you want to be part of it, you are going to have to have a more measured response to things." Addison spoke this time. "Think about it. If I had snuck up on you and a woman you were with and started out on the offensive, do you think you would be very happy with me?" Addison grabbed Meredith's hand and took a step away, obviously wanting to continue their walk along the beach.

Maybe they would also be able to capture some of the peace and contentment of a few moments ago as well.

Sam sighed and nodded. "You're right." He finally said. "I'm sorry." He added, taking a step away. "Apology accepted." Addison said looking at Meredith who nodded her agreement.

She was not about to cause waves between Addison and her friends if she could avoid it. "We'll talk later Sam. Not right now, I'm busy." Addison said by way of goodbye and then gently tugged Meredith into motion, before they proceeded down the beach in the opposite direction of Sam and his backyard.

He at least had the grace not to follow them and in a few moments Meredith could feel the reduction of tension in Addison's grip on her hand. "You okay?" Meredith asked, still enjoying the feel of sand between her toes and the ocean breeze ruffling her hair and her clothes.

Most of all, she was enjoying Addison, though.

"Yeah. Can we forget that and just keep walking. I want to think of right now, not five minutes ago or last year. Just right now, with you and the morning." Addison murmured, sounding very calm and peaceful.

"Of course." Meredith conceded easily.

She was more than happy to live the moment with Addison. It was precious and important for her to pay attention to the right now as otherwise she might miss it. Even though Sam was Addison's friend, when put into perspective he was merely a blip on the horizon of their lives.

Even if he did not come around or cut off his relationship with Addison there was nothing they could do about it, so worrying about it wad a waste of time in the end. Unless of course Addison decided that she did want to talk about it, in which case Meredith would be more than happy to listen.

It's what you did for someone you love.

Addison paused and reached down, holding onto Meredith's hands for balance and snatched up something from the sand. "Here." She murmured, pressing the object into Meredith's hand. "Careful." Addison added and Meredith opened her hand to look at the feather-light object in it.

"Sand dollar." Addison said unnecessarily.

Meredith paused to examine the fragile shell. It was intact and a little firmer than what she had seen before in her life. Carefully, she slid it into the breast pocket of her shirt, hoping to get it back to the house in one piece. "Thank you." She said softly and took Addison's hand in her own again.

The redhead smiled brilliantly, obviously happy that her small offering had been received with such pleasure.

Meredith felt a grin tug at the corners of her mouth.

It was the little things that really made a difference.

Love was grand.

* * *

Eventually they managed to get back to the house and Addison was finally showing Meredith around. "Are you going to keep this place?" Meredith asked as Addison walked her around the garden.

"Well, California does have its charms, and it is a nice house. We can bring the kids here for vacations, or come ourselves when the weather in Seattle becomes too much." Addison said airily, smiling in the sunlight.

God, she was beautiful. Meredith could feel her heart skip a beat at the sight of Addison bathed in sun of the California morning.

"Sounds reasonable enough. I don't think this place needs any renovation, though." Meredith commented.

The house was in pristine condition.

"True, but the interior design could use a more personal touch. We can make that the project for the next vacation down here." Addison replied, sounding pleased at the prospect.

"Works for me." Meredith said in a content tone.

"What would you like to do today?" Addison queried as they stepped back into the cool interior of the house.

Momentarily sunblind, Meredith blinked and tried to clear her vision.

"I can think of something I'd love to do for a whole day with you." Meredith purred.

Nothing but sand, sex, Addison and ecstasy.

"Can you now?" Addison said and took some steps closer to Meredith. "And just what is that thing that you think you could spend the day doing with me?" Addison queried, her voice dropping to a sexy register that thrilled Meredith to no end.

"Well, why don't you come with me and I'll show you." Meredith suggested as she carefully set aside the sand dollar that she had been playing with while the conversation had developed.

Taking Addison by the hand, Meredith walked the redhead towards the bedroom. "I have this fantasy." Meredith said as she closed the door and turned towards Addison. "I thought about it last night." Meredith added as she moved to undress Addison.

When Addison started to help her, Meredith gently bated her hands away. "Let me." Meredith whispered, wanting to communicate all that she was feeling. "Let me." She repeated under her breath.

Addison dropped her hands and stared at Meredith intently. "What is your fantasy?" She asked after a moment, her breath coming out in a slight pant. "You'll like it." Meredith teased gently in response.

She wanted to surprise Addison so she intentionally did not divulge just what exactly she was planning. "Come." Meredith urged, stepping towards the balcony and easing Addison's blouse of creamy shoulders as she did.

The balcony was spacious, there was a gorgeous daytime view of the ocean and the sunlight that shone down on them from a clear blue sky. Meredith wanted to make love with Addison, outside, in the California sun with the gentle sound of the water in the distance their only accompaniment.

"Out here?" Addison breathed, resplendent in the sunlight which burnished her hair copper.

"Yes." Meredith said easily, leaning in to kiss the valley between Addison's breasts before drawing the redhead into an embrace.

Warmed by the sun and by arousal, Addison felt like heaven in her arms and Meredith moaned her appreciation as she kissed her way up the flawless neck of her lover so as to bring their mouths together in a searing kiss that made Meredith forget what she was doing for long moments.

There was only Addison and the kiss and the sunlight on the balcony with Meredith. "Sit." Meredith urged, backing Addison up to one of the chairs that was scattered around the space.

Addison sat down and watched Meredith intently. Kneeling, Meredith carefully eased off the loose linen pants that Addison wore and pulled them off her legs, exposing even more coveted skin to Meredith's hungry eyes. "You're beautiful." Meredith murmured, leaning in to kiss one of Addison's smooth thighs.

Her lover twitched in reaction.

The warm sun on her back, made Meredith feel like she was melting into this experience. All that mattered was now, right now, this moment here. Addison curled her fingers into Meredith's hair and arched, driving Meredith's ardour even higher still, if that was possible.

How on earth had she lived without this?

Meredith knew however that now she knew what she could have, she would never be able to live without it again.

She needed this and she had to have it.

No longer clumsy, Meredith eased Addison's silk panties off her body in a smooth movement, casually discarding them without a backwards glance. Her entire focus was on Addison and this moment now.

The scent of arousal drove Meredith a little insane and she curled her arms around Addison's thighs, gently parting them as she knelt on discarded clothes on the balcony. No more teasing or foreplay was needed, Addison's copper coloured curls were glistening with moisture and Meredith could see that her lover was swollen and ready.

Without hesitation, Meredith lowered her mouth and dipped first her tongue and then her lips into the morass of ecstasy that awaited her mouth and her mind.

Addison jumped at the contact before she tightened her grip in Meredith's hair and held on firmly. The intensity of the moment made Meredith gasp and as she moved her mouth lower into sensitive folds she became aware of the heat and tightness of her own clothes which encased her body still.

She wanted to be rid of them so she could experience this moment without the barrier of cloth between her and Addison and the sun.

Thankfully she was wearing loose clothing and even as she moved her mouth gently through Addison's heat, she was able to wiggle out of her pants, kicking them aside. Addison seemed to realise her intent, because her hands moved from Meredith's hair to her shoulders and pushed back the button down shirt that Meredith wore. Together, without breaking he contact between Meredith's mouth and Addison's body, they managed to strip Meredith naked.

She's never been so glad to go without underwear before and now without the distraction of clothing, Meredith turned her full attention back to the delicious task at hand; Addison, pleasure and these moments in the California sun.

Addison for her part was holding onto Meredith's head again and thrusting her hips up to meet Meredith's mouth, her breath coming out in gasps as they moved in synch and Meredith was becoming delirious with sensory overload as she felt her own arousal ratchet up tighter and tighter.

Uncurling an arm around Addison's thighs, Meredith slipped her shoulders lower, pushing Addison's legs apart a little further before she brushed her fingers along Addison's inner thighs, intent on a goal that she knew would drive Addison over the edge. It only took a moment and Meredith had slid one, and then a second finger into Addison and the reaction in her lover was divine.

"More." Addison hissed into the bright sunlight and Meredith moaned in barely controlled reaction before she moved her hand and gently eased a third finger into Addison.

The hands in Meredith's hair tightened almost painfully and when Meredith began to move her hand in time with her mouth, Addison cried out, moaning loudly now, her reactions unrestrained and her movements becoming erratic. "Fuck, yes." Addison gasped.

Meredith was somewhat certain that she was going to come just by sympathetic response and the sensation of her own wetness dripping and sliding down her own thighs made it hard to think. She could barely coordinate her movements, actually.

This was insane.

How could she possibly feel so much?

"Come here." Addison ground out, tugging on Meredith who pulled her mouth away from Addison to look up at her.

She was careful not to halt the movements of her hand.

"I want to feel you." Addison gasped, her eyes wild and sparkling in the bright light of the day.

Meredith looked at the sun chair that Addison was half reclining on and made a split second decision, carefully extracting her fingers from Addison as she did so. Addison made a muted sound of protest but Meredith cut it off with a kiss that was hungry, desperate and that tasted of sex and the sea.

"Scoot up." Meredith whispered, encouraging Addison to move backwards so that Meredith could fit herself onto the chair as well.

Addison was quick to comply and Meredith then carefully slid herself into Addison's lap, scissoring their legs together carefully as she held onto her lover. The redhead's skin was warm and soft and Meredith lost herself for a moment in the sensory experience that her sensitive fingertips offered her.

However, the moment was interrupted when Meredith felt the press of Addison against her as their bodies slid into position. Addison seemed to adjust instantly to what Meredith was attempting and after a moment Meredith felt the last vestiges of her sanity escape as the warm, wet heat of Addison's sex slid against her own.

"Oh, Jesus." Meredith's voice was barely above a whisper and all thoughts ceased as Addison sought purchase and their bodies moved and slid together.

The intimacy of the position and the feel of Addison against herself was enough to bring Meredith to the brink of climax in a matter of heartbeats. "I'm going to come." Meredith managed to say, pulling Addison closer and kissing her desperately.

"Come for me, Meredith." Addison urged, her voice shaking.

"Come with me." She continued and that was enough to send Meredith over the edge as orgasm washed over her.

"I'm coming too, Meredith. Can you feel it?" Addison said and at the words Meredith felt a second wave of orgasm arrive and then they were coming together.

The feedback loop that was created was too much for Meredith's nerves and she could feel tears begin to leak out of her eyes as her emotions and her body and her mind were overwhelmed. As she felt Addison's wetness and skin and body slide against her own, Meredith could only ride out the experience.

Eventually, they both calmed down and just sat, gasping, holding each other in the sunlight with sweat and salt and sunlight marking their skins. Carefully, Meredith pulled back slightly from Addison and adjusted their position to something a little more comfortable as she leaned into her lover.

"Wow." Addison said softly, stroking a shaking hand through Meredith's hair.

Meredith kissed Addison's raging pulse on her neck in response, still too overwhelmed to speak, or move, or, think, really.

Wow, indeed.

* * *

They had moved indoors to the bed to take a nap when the sun had become too much on the balcony. Meredith in the lassitude of post orgasmic bliss, had dropped off to sleep almost at once, comforted by the warm presence of Addison in the bed with her.

It was through this dreamy state that the sharp sounds of a telephone intruded, shocking Meredith awake as Addison reached for the device.

What on earth?

"Yes?" Addison said into the phone. "What?" Meredith popped awake at the sound of alarm in Addison's voice. "I'll be there in half an hour." Addison said, closing the phone and rising to her feet.

"What's going on?" Meredith asked, following Addison's example and getting up.

"Sam and Naomi, their pregnant daughter was just in a car accident." Addison said as she pulled clothes onto her body and rushed to the bathroom to wash her hands and brush her teeth.

A few moments later she was back and stuffing her feet into her shoes. By then Meredith had also struggled into some clothes. "I'll come with you." She said to Addison who nodded and then they were racing to the car.

"Buckle up." Addison said unnecessarily and a moment later the peeled out of the driveway.

Addison tossed Meredith her phone. "Call Sam and tell him fifteen minutes." Addison instructed, powering down the wide road that led away from the house.

Doing as she was instructed, Meredith quickly reached Sam who seemed surprised that she was calling. "We'll be there in ten fifteen minutes." Meredith said to him calmly.

Addison for her part was doing her best to not get stopped, but also break a few traffic laws in her efforts to get wherever they were going. "Hospital." Addison said after some long moments. "Maya, their daughter. She's young and heavily pregnant." Addison explained as she drove like a racecar driver down the road.

"Give me the phone." Addison instructed, quickly dialling in a number when Meredith handed it to her.

Addison handed it back to Meredith. "Tell the person who answers who you are, who I am and what we are going to do. I want you to scrub in on this surgery with me and they need to have insurance ready for you when by the time we arrive." Addison said, her voice firm.

Doing as she was told, Meredith was barely off the phone when they were pulling into the driveway of the hospital. "It's a teaching hospital." Addison explained as they rushed to the emergency room entrance.

"I know you and I trust you, I want you with me." Addison extrapolated as she flashed her credentials at the reception desk.

"Addison!" It was Naomi who spoke and Meredith and Addison both turned towards them.

"I'm here." Addison said, enfolding her friend in a hug while Meredith spoke to the receptionist.

"I am Doctor Meredith Grey, there should be some insurance papers here for me to sign." Meredith said to the woman.

She had been promised that they would be delivered by the time they arrived, it was pretty much simply a matter of rubber stamping some forms and getting Meredith to sign them. No problems.

To her credit, the woman seemed to know what was going on and in a few moments Meredith was told that the papers would be ready in five minutes and that she should go and be with her patient. "Thank you." Meredith said and quickly went to find Addison.

"She's unconscious, they are prepping her for surgery." Addison was listening to the Doctor Charlotte King describe the situation.

Addison was looking at ultrasound images as the man spoke. "Okay." Addison said after some long moments. "Doctor Grey, come with me." Addison said and thrust the scans at Meredith. "Study these. We have about ten minutes." Addison said and turned her attention to Naomi and Sam while they walked as a group towards the surgical prep area.

"It will be okay." Addison said, but Meredith could hear a note of doubt in the redhead's voice.

Turning her attention to the scans, Meredith could easily see just how serious this was in an instant. They would be lucky if things turned out okay.

Very lucky.

"Doctor Grey." Meredith turned as she heard her voice. "You need to sign here." The woman who ran up to Meredith said and without hesitation Meredith did just that.

Now, their fate and that of Maya was up to destiny, skill, and a sprinkling of good luck.

"I don't think it is such a good idea for Doctor Grey to be involved with this. She is merely a Resident and there could be a conflict of interest." Doctor King interjected into the situation.

"As Chief of Staff, it is my duty to say this." Charlotte continued blithely.

Meredith saw Addison's shoulders tense up at the statement and when her lover turned to talk to Charlotte, it was apparent that she was a little miffed, to say the least.

"You and I working on this, is a conflict of interest, Charlotte. Think about it and don't be absurd." Addison said in a dismissive fashion.

"I know Meredith and we have worked together on many occasions before and I trust her, and while she may me _merely_ a Resident, she is certainly not a greenhorn and you would do well to remember that, especially in this situation where I don't need the pettiness of distractions interfering with the read goal: That of saving Maya, and her baby." Addison concluded as they stepped as a group into an elevator.

"Fine." Charlotte said in a huff and Meredith would have smirked, had the situation not been so dire.

They proceeded to the scrub rooms, their footsteps rushing along the polished corridors of the hospital.

"Ready?" Addison asked once as they finished scrubbing in and were getting ready to step into the OR.

"Yes." Meredith replied simply.

There was nothing more than she could say about the situation and she needed to do everything in her power to help Addison and support her right now.

Entering the OR, Meredith immediately situated herself within Addison's sphere. Whatever the redhead needed, Meredith would provide. Addison's confidence in Meredith would not be misplaced.

"Are we ready?" Addison inquired of the staff that was poised around Maya.

A moment later, things began.

Addison had the task of saving mother and child, if at all possible and the seatbelt of the car had devastated the situation to the point where the scans looked frightening, even to Meredith's eyes, and Meredith was not easily shocked by things. Not at this state in her career anyway.

"Scalpel." Addison said, holding out her hand.

And so it began.

* * *

**Chapter 48**

The surgery had been long. Difficult. Demanding.

Meredith leaned back, exhausted, her scrubs soaked in blood and sweat and operating room detritus. She needed to scrub out, but right now even that simple task seemed like too much.

No sign of Addison yet.

Meredith opened her eyes at the thought and looked around, where was Addison?

Quickly, Meredith peeled off her soiled scrubs and threw them all into a bin, before she marched over the sinks and scrubbed out faster than she ever had before. She had no idea right now where the clothes were that she had come to the hospital in, but a fresh set of scrubs were not hard to find.

The next task was to find Addison.

Stepping out into the corridor, Meredith was faced with an unfamiliar hospital, lack of id card, and her cell phone being in some unknown location right now. "Doctor Grey." A voice said at her elbow and Meredith glanced over.

"These belong to you." The woman said, obviously an intern and handed Meredith a pile of clothing.

"Thank you." Meredith said, rummaging for her cell phone and immediately calling Addison.

No answer.

Well, she'd find her lover.

Putting her phone away, Meredith quickly glanced around and tried to extrapolate just where Addison might be. If only Cristina was here, she would help Meredith find Addison, and might actually do a better job than Meredith herself. The most logical choice was the doctors lounge, if there was such a thing here, but a batter choice would be wherever the staff at this hospital went to vent.

Meredith stopped the next Intern that walked past. "Where do people go when they need to vent in this hospital?" Meredith asked the young woman who she had stopped.

"I'm a Resident here, but I am new." Meredith said, lying only a little.

The young woman seemed to be relieved by her explanation and nodded. "The garage or the roof." She said, before she extricated herself and went on her way.

Hm. Meredith thought about it for a while. Addison would go to the roof, for sure.

Now, how did one get to the roof?

Meredith looked around before she spied a fire escape and headed towards it, relieved to find it unlocked. Bounding up the stairs, Meredith hoped that she had guessed right about where Addison would be. It was hard to imagine that they had gone from the bliss of the morning, to this in the evening.

The surgery had lasted for several hours and had taxed Addison a great deal even with Meredith supporting her every step of the way. Addison had seemed shattered after the surgery and had made herself scarce as soon as she had been able. It was understandable, Addison's friend and coworker, Dell had died, and Maya while managing to give birth to a healthy baby girl, had suffered devastating injuries that were still all up in the air as to their long term consequences.

Never mind the effect that this had on Naomi and Sam, who were also Addison's friends, so the impact on Addison had to be that much more devastating.

Meredith had never known this Dell person, only by proxy through Addison's stories, but she was also made sad by the fact that the young man had died. What a total waste of life and now Addison was shattered, which was understandable.

Meredith respected that her lover might need some private time, but at the same time her lover might not need time, so she was going to find out before making any assumptions about it either way.

Going down stairs was easier than going upstairs anyway.

Emerging onto the roof after her stair marathon, Meredith was out of breath but still bursting with purpose and energy as she looked around. She immediately spotted Addison and moved towards her. "Addison." She said just loudly enough to be heard.

Meredith did not want to startle the redhead.

Intense eyes turned in her direction and Addison seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as Meredith approached her and by the time Meredith came to a stop in front of Addison, the other woman's posture had relaxed considerably.

Addison was crying now. Deep, sorrowful tears as her whole body shook with sobs that Meredith felt inside of herself. If only there was some way that she could relieve Addison's pain. The reality though was that she would need to simply hold onto her lover, and love her, and be there for her.

In the end, it was what Addison needed most of all. Unconditional love and understanding.

Still, Meredith's heart was breaking as she held onto Addison and for a long time she simply held her lover under the California sunset and hoped that the tears and the twilight would wash away some of Addison's anguish.

Eventually Addison calmed down and settled into the occasional sniffle as night fell and Meredith simply kept holding Addison. She's hold the other woman for as long as it took, it really was a simple equation.

"I want to go home." Addison said after some time passed in complete silence.

"Let's go then." Meredith said, more than willing to leave the hospital behind.

"No, I mean Seattle." Addison said, leaning into Meredith and wrapping her arms around Meredith's waist.

Meredith felt her heart jump in her chest at the words. "So, we go home then." Meredith said, running her hands through Addison's hair and holding her tightly.

"Tomorrow I still have to do a few things, but the next day." Addison said with a sigh. "I should have gotten things done today, but my afternoon plans were interrupted by this." Addison continued, waving her hand expressively behind Meredith's back.

"Alright, so the day after tomorrow then." Meredith kissed the beloved head that was cuddled in her arms.

"Bizzy is using the jet, so just regular first class if you can stand it." Addison joked lightly and Meredith giggled.

"I think I can handle regular first class." Meredith said with a mock sigh and was relieved when Addison chuckled again.

It was a moment that Meredith would not trade for the world, this one right now.

* * *

The next day found Meredith doing something she had not done in a while. Addison had asked her if she would mind packing up some personal items so that they could be brought to Seattle.

_I'll leave the place empty for now and decide later if I do want to keep it._ Addison had said, explaining that she'd get her friends to check in with the place every now and then and have the usual gardeners and cleaners maintain it in the meantime.

Meredith kind of liked the idea of having a little California hideaway for when they needed a break from Seattle and it was an awfully nice house, to boot.

Addison for her part was on her laptop and on the phone, busy tying off loose ends so that she could move her life back to Seattle. Meredith was glad that there was going to be a finality to this as she really wanted Addison with her for now and forever.

The ring of her own cell phone distracted her and Meredith snatched it up and answered it. "Dude." It was Cristina.

"Hi." Meredith said happily, missing her friend suddenly.

"When are you coming home?" Cristina sounded unusually eager.

"You okay?" Meredith asked, concerned suddenly.

"Yeah, just stuff." Cristina said vaguely.

"So when are you coming home anyway?" Cristina pressed again.

"Looks like tomorrow, but for sure the day after. Is the hospital still standing?" Meredith queried as she stood up to stretch her legs.

"Yeah, but Callie and Arizona broke up. Can you believe that?" Actually Meredith was surprised, despite having heard on the grapevine that there had been some trouble in paradise.

"Geez, I go away for a few days and look what happens." Meredith said as she walked out of the bedroom into the main living area where Addison was leaning back on the sofa with her arm over her eyes.

"Callie and Arizona broke up." Meredith said to the redhead who immediately straightened up and looked over.

"Really?" She asked and Meredith nodded.

Addison snatched her phone from the table and opened, obviously intent on calling Callie to find out what was going on for certain.

"You okay?" Meredith asked her friend again.

Cristina was a hard nut to crack, she probably would not divulge what was going on over the phone so Meredith, despite the fact that she was enjoying her sojourn away with Addison, was looking forward to getting home to find out just what exactly was going on with her best friend.

Moving back to the bedroom to give Addison some privacy, Meredith glanced around, considering the boxes that were scattered about. She had maybe an hour's worth of packing left and then Addison had said emphatically that they were going to go to LA to see some of the things that LA needed to be seen for.

The Hollywood sign, the Walk of Fame, and maybe some shopping. Meredith was looking forward to spending time with Addison doing ordinary every day things like that, but first she needed to finish this, that is if there was to be any hope of them getting home tomorrow.

"I've gotta go." Cristina said into the phone, sounding distracted. "Wait, Cristina." Meredith interrupted, sitting down again and hoping her friend would open up just a little bit.

"Can't right now, Mer. Bailey is here rolling her eyes at me." Cristina extrapolated and Meredith could have sworn she heard the formidable Miranda Bailey in the background say something cutting and suitable to Cristina in response.

"Okay. Just remember, I'll help you hide the bodies. What are friends for?" Meredith said quietly.

"Right." Cristina said before she hung up.

Staring at her mute phone for a moment Meredith shook her head and then set it aside. She needed to get packing and needed to get back out to Addison.

It felt very personal to be putting her lover's personal items into boxes but it was clear that Addison trusted Meredith to do this so she was happy to help. Hopefully the renovations on the house in Seattle were going okay as well. No one had called with any concerns or issues, so Meredith could only assume things were going well.

She was not going to call to find out either, there was nothing really that they could do if something had gone wrong except possible spoil what remained of their vacation, so for the next twenty four hours at least ignorance would remain bliss.

Still, considering the amount of money they had paid to have this done in good time and by the best, it was probably all working out fine. The contractors in question would be motivated to not fuck it up, to say the least.

Meredith sealed another box and then reached for a stack of photo albums, trying to resist the urge to peek into them.

"You can take a look if you like." Addison said from the doorway, making Meredith jump slightly.

"Oh." Meredith said, reflexively petting the bed beside her in the hopes that Addison would join her and give her some insight into the photos.

The redhead smiled and nodded her head, coming to sit next to Meredith and grabbing the topmost album. "You realise that this is quid pro quo, right?" Addison murmured as she opened the heavy cover.

"Oh yeah. Don't you worry, I'll be showing you my embarrassing childhood pictures as well. I think there might even be some home movies, do you think you can handle it? " Meredith said with a laugh.

"We'll need beer and chips or something, just to make sure that I can deal with it." Addison joked in response and Meredith laughed, shifting herself closer so that she could see better.

She was certain that Addison had been an adorable child and she was about to find out if her suspicions were true or not.

Afternoon eventually came and photo albums were examined, boxes were packed and business was attended to. Now, Addison was driving Meredith into LA, promising her an afternoon of fun and sights and dinner at a restaurant that she was certain Meredith would like.

Meredith for her part was happy to be in the car with Addison, they so were going to be taking some long drives back in Seattle, in places where they would not be arrested for getting their freak on in the car. It was hot to watch Addison drive and Meredith decided that she liked this new found fetish quite a lot.

Addison for her part seemed to have picked up on the fact and Meredith was pleased to see that the redhead seemed to have recovered her confidence when it came to driving. It had taken a few trips in Meredith's car for Addison to rent another car in Seattle, but she had eventually.

This hot little car though, it was made to be handled by Addison.

"What are you thinking about?" Addison asked out of the blue, glancing over at Meredith.

"About you." Meredith smiled and turned her attention to the window, watch as they entered LA proper.

"Good things I hope." Addison said, dropping her hand from the wheel to squeeze Meredith's hand where it rested on the seat.

"Very good things." Meredith reassured her lover.

"Can we go to Hollywood Boulevard first?" Meredith asked.

She could see the Hollywood sign from a distance, if needed, but the pulsing centre of the Hollywood film industry was another thing altogether. "Of course." Addison said with a smile that she reserved for Meredith alone.

By the time they were done with Hollywood Boulevard and had seen a few of the more famous landmarks that were on offer, it was growing late in the afternoon and as they needed to get an early start tomorrow, Addison suggested that they head back to Malibu and eat at a local restaurant that she enjoyed there.

"Are you happy?" Meredith asked Addison sometime later when they were laying in bed together, pleasantly full and tired and packed ready for their morning flight.

"Why do you ask?" Addison queried as she rolled over in the bed to study Meredith more clearly in the dim light.

"It's important to me to know." Meredith offered as she shifted closer to Addison.

"Yes, I am happy." Addison said, stroking a finger down Meredith's face.

"You make it so." She added and Meredith sighed happily at the thought as her eyes became heavy with sleep and the peace of the night and of laying next to Addison overcame her.

"Me too." Meredith mumbled, trusting Addison to decipher what she meant. "Good." Addison whispered, kissing Meredith's temple before she too settled down into sleep.

Tomorrow they would be going home.

* * *

It was just under ten minutes until they were scheduled to land. Meredith had decided that she loved Learjets and she loved First Class. They had made good time to the airport in the morning and though they had been subject to the indignity of a security check as they were boarding a commercial flight, the TSA seemed to be having a good day and it turned out to only be a minor issue.

The fight itself had been luxurious and Meredith had spent most of it napping while resting her head on Addison's shoulder.

Overall, it sure beat flying economy.

That said, Meredith could not wait to be on the ground and out of the airport. She wanted her own house, her own bed and well, her own life. Now all of these things included Addison and she shared them with the redhead.

How extraordinary.

The plane landed without incident and they were able to disembark and find their luggage in short order, now it was just a matter of getting a ride back into the city. Cristina, Lexie and Richard all knew that they were coming home today, but it was also the middle of the day. Their friends and colleagues could not exactly be expected to just drop everything to come pick them up so they would need a taxi, or something.

Thankfully the weather was being nice for a change and they had both slept enough the night before so it all did not seem so overwhelming as they pushed their way through the airport.

"Addison!" A familiar voice called out. "Meredith!" Was heard a moment later and they both turned towards the voice.

"Richard!" Addison said happily and moved to embrace the older man as Meredith smiled from ear to ear at the venerable surgeon.

"I took a long lunch, no surgeries scheduled for another ninety minutes and I figure the two of you would need a ride." Richard said as he released Addison and moved to squeeze Meredith's hands warmly.

Meredith appreciated the fact that he left displays of affection like hugs up to Meredith's discretion. Maybe in time she would be comfortable with him initiating more things, but for now she felt like she needed to be the one in control. As much as she liked Richard the fact remained that he was not an entirely benevolent figure in her life and until she found exactly where he belonged and was comfortable with it, they needed some boundaries.

"That's great, thank you Richard." Meredith said warmly and Addison added her chorus of appreciation to the mix.

"I borrowed your car, Meredith. Lexie had it at the hospital and she said to go ahead due to luggage." Richard said sounding shy.

Meredith certainly did not mind and after he helped them load their luggage, she even let him drive them back into the city. Might as well enjoy the last tendrils of her vacation for as long as possible.

"Did you have a good time in California?" Richard asked as he expertly drive through the familiar streets of Seattle.

"Yes and we got everything done that we needed to. It's official now, Addison is back." Meredith said happily, reaching over the front passenger seat to wrap her arms around Addison who was sitting in the front in deference to her longer legs.

"I'm so happy for you." Richard said sincerely. "I went to check on your house a few times. The contractors are worth the money you spent on them." Richard said, sounding very much like a version of a father that Meredith had wished she had, actually.

"Thank you. I was hoping that you would." Addison said sincerely.

"Milo came back home yesterday, I think Cristina and Callie truly spoiled him though." Richard sounded surprisingly warm as he spoke about the small feline who was part of their family.

Meredith suspected that the little cat had charmed his way into Richard's big heart and who could blame Richard, the cat was a cutie.

Addison seemed to be having the same thought as she laughed in the front seat beside Richard and as they neared the house, Meredith felt a profound sense of peace joy. They were home and now it was just a matter of living the rest of their lives, hopefully.

"Everything still in one piece at the hospital?" Meredith asked.

"Well, hm, you know, no one really tells me anything. But I have my sources." Richard said with a conspiratorial tone in his voice.

Meredith smiled, it felt good to be having this conversation.

"The rumour mill has it that Cristina and Jackson have gotten together, Callie and Arizona have broken up, and Owen and Teddy are doing something." Richard said as he parked the car expertly and switched off the ignition.

"I am sure there is more, but I am only privy to the major stuff." Richard concluded.

Without a doubt they would be finding out soon enough what exactly was going on when they went to work tomorrow. They still had the rest of the day off, but Richard needed to get back to the hospital, though.

Like the perfect gentleman that he was, he carried their luggage to the front steps and on Meredith's initiation embraced them both warmly. "I'll see you later." He said with a smile before he hurried back to the car which he was taking back to the hospital with Meredith's blessings.

Lexie would bring it back later and he did have to get back to work.

"Welcome home." Meredith said to Addison as she slid her new key into the lock.

That was another thing they had done, they had changed the locks in order to truly begin anew. It was mainly a symbolic gesture but it was one that Meredith had felt was important.

"Welcome home." Addison echoed, as she reached for the door handle to open the door with Meredith.

It was good to be home.

* * *

**Chapter 49**

"Wow, will you look at this place?" Meredith exclaimed as they walked further into the house and looked around.

The contractors were done and had left notice that if there were any issues that the word was guaranteed and whatever problem arose would be attended to at once. Other than that, they were done. New paint job and wallpapers, new carpets, new overlay in the kitchen, new plaster, new master bathroom.

It looked fantastic, actually.

Meredith could not be believe that this was her childhood home, actually, or the place that they had left not very many days ago for that matter.

"Milo!" Meredith said, surprised at how much she had missed the little feline.

The cat for his part, seemed quite happy to see the both of them home. Or at least that was what Meredith thought. It could be hard to tell with cats. They really needed to get a dog, something for Milo to play with and Meredith was more of a dog person anyway.

Addison bent down to say hello to Milo while Meredith wandered into the kitchen to have a look around. A quick examination of things told her that they needed to go grocery shopping and Meredith was suddenly reminded about the fact that in her house in California, Addison had simply called someone, or a company and had her fridge and cupboards stocked. It was a bit of a startling contrast in a way.

"Hey, you have to come see the bathroom." Addison exclaimed as Meredith was examining the fridge and trying to make a mental grocery list of what they needed to get in order to function as a house.

The only evidence of food was the sort of things that Alex or Lexie would buy, order in, or obtain. In order words, not very edible. The two of them really did need to grow up just a little bit, perhaps if they started paying some attention to something other than each other and work.

Meredith walked towards the bathroom and laughed at herself. She did not pay attention to much aside from Addison and work, so in reality, who was she to talk?

Entering the bathroom Meredith's first reaction was to blink a little. "Whoa." She exclaimed, moving closer to Addison and looking around.

"This is nice. Very nice. We are so going to use this tonight." Meredith continued, pointing at the perfect for two people sized Jacuzzi.

"Oh, totally." Addison said as she caressed the side of the shiny tub. "Awesome." She added, easily echoing Meredith's sentiments.

"I must say, I did wonder what this would all look like when all was said and done, but I am very, very pleased." Addison murmured as she stood up and leaned in to kiss Meredith's lips lightly.

"Me too." Meredith concurred as they moved towards the bedroom.

"Nice bed." Meredith said as soon as they had walked into the bedroom.

They had selected and ordered a frame to go around the new mattress and while they had been in California, it had been delivered. "We need to try that out too, tonight." Meredith added as she walked around the bedroom looking around.

"We have a new house." It made Meredith feel better to see just how nice her childhood home had become, especially after spending some time in the incredible opulence of Addison's California home.

"We do." Addison said with satisfaction as she sat down on the bed which had been mercifully unwrapped from its plastic sheeting as well.

Meredith supposed that the contractors had been done making a mess and as the plastic sheeting was technically part of their work, they had taken it with them when they had left.

It was wonderful to see everything so put together and ready and Meredith simply could not wait to see what happened next. Life really did seem to be finally slotting into place for her and for Addison.

Suddenly feeling sleepy, Meredith climbed onto the bed and then crawled across to Addison and cuddled up against her. The pull of sleep was overwhelming and in what felt like moments, she fell asleep listening go Addison's heart beat steadily under her ear.

* * *

Meredith was woken out of a light doze by the sound of the front door opening and closing none too gently. Either Alex or Lexie had come home.

Addison was still asleep, so Meredith gently extricated herself from her lover and tiptoed out of the room in search of whoever it was who had come home. As she moved through the house, she heard Milo greet whoever it was and it made Meredith wonder if they had any cat food in the house.

Hopefully someone had stocked up at least for the cat.

It reminded Meredith that they needed to go grocery shopping, which meant that she needed to collect cash and wish lists and snag either Alex or Lexie to be her beast of burden and make the trip to the store before it became embarrassing to even try to make someone a cup of coffee.

Walking into the kitchen quietly, she observed Alex interacting with the small feline in a way the belied his tough guy image. It seemed that her stoic, taciturn friend had a soft spot for warm and fuzzy cats. Meredith could not blame him, but in order to save some of Alex's face, she backed up and made some noise before she turned the corner into the kitchen.

By then, Alex was looking into the fridge with the cat winding itself around his ankles.

Meredith was not fooled.

"Hey." She said pleasantly, hoping that Alex was not in one of his darker moods, she was not really in the mood to deal with any issues right now.

Maybe later, or tomorrow, just not now.

"Hey yourself." Alex said over his shoulder as he came up with some orange juice from the fridge and slammed a glass down on the table.

"How was your California sex romp?" He asked as he took a big drink of the juice.

Meredith smiled at his choice of words.

Though Alex could be a real pain in the ass, inwardly Meredith hoped that he would never really lose his abrasive edge. They needed people who were not as nice or as expected, in this world.

"It was fine. How have things been here?" Meredith asked as she sat down and tried to gain her bearings.

She was still feeling a little sleepy and disoriented from her day.

"Fine." Alex said, looking at her intently for a moment. "I like the colour of my room." He added after a beat and then left the kitchen.

Meredith smiled. That was about as cuddly as Alex was going to get and as close as he ever was going to get to saying thank you about anything.

She'd take it.

Alex was Alex.

So be it.

Milo took the opportunity to come and nudge and curl himself around Meredith's legs, obviously intent on the idea that he should get some attention, or food, or something.

"Okay, cat. Let's see if this kitchen has some food for you, hm?" Meredith said to the little warm creature and rose to her feet to start searching the cupboards.

It did not take long for Meredith to realise that while the kitchen was pretty much void of things suitable for human consumption, there was a bag of dry food, several cans of cat food and even some cat treats and an unopened bag of cat toys in one of the lower cabinets.

Meredith would bet money that it had been Alex who had brought it home just now, actually, as she had not seen the stuff when they had come home a few hours ago.

He really did have a soft spot for the cat.

With a smile, Meredith fed the cat and made sure he had water, before she threw a couple of toys on the floor and went to inspect the laundry room. Hopefully the affection that Alex seemed to have for the cat translated into looking after what came out, as well as what went in.

Turns out it did. The litter box was immaculate.

Chuckling to herself, Meredith left the laundry room and walked right into Addison who was standing in the kitchen now.

"What are you laughing about?" Addison queried as she wrapped her arms around Meredith and pulled her close.

"Alex likes the cat. He bought it food and I don't think I've ever seen a cleaner cat box." Meredith replied, enjoying the sensation of being held by the redhead.

"You sure it's him? What about Lexie?" Addison's question was a valid one, but Meredith was certain that it was Alex.

"Yes. I'm sure." Meredith murmured into Addison's chest and decided that being held by her lover was just about one of the most perfect things in the world.

"Looks like we're going to need to order in. I just checked. There is nothing to eat in this house." Addison said after a while.

"Yep. What are you in the mood for?" Meredith asked as she snuggled in tighter to Addison.

"Vietnamese." Addison said at once and Meredith smiled against the soft fabric of the tee shirt that Addison wore.

"Okay, works for me." Meredith replied, but made no move to reach for a phone or to search for a phone number.

Until she heard Addison's stomach growl that is.

"Fine." She said with a laugh and peeled herself away from Addison.

"Would you rather go out?" Addison asked, glancing about the kitchen.

"No. I want to eat and then go try out the Jacuzzi and then I want to have my wicked way with you in our bedroom." Meredith replied succinctly.

"Works for me." Addison replied as she reached for the phone.

* * *

The Jacuzzi was fabulous, Meredith decided as she eased her way into the warm, bubbling morass and joined Addison who was already laying back in the water. An excellent investment, to say the least.

Meredith had not asked Addison just what the bathroom refurbishing had cost, but she had an idea that it had been the bulk of the cost for the redoing of the interior. Addison never mentioned money, actually. Meredith knew that her lover was wealthy, but it never really seemed to come up in conversation.

Sometimes though, Meredith was reminded of this difference between them and then she would also reflect on how they seemed to fit despite the rather large gap in their personal histories and present existences. "I love this." Addison said happily, moving closer to Meredith in the large tub of bubbling water.

"Me too." Meredith replied and she meant it.

The Jacuzzi was simply divine.

And so was Addison.

Meredith felt Addison rise up beside her and move to straddle Meredith in the tub, carefully ensuring not to splash water over the sides, but also making sure that she did not dislodge Meredith from her seat under the water.

Before Meredith could think much about what was going on Addison was kissing her with hunger and veracity that simply took Meredith's breath away. "You're exquisite." Addison murmured against Meredith's mouth as they surged against each other.

"So are you." Meredith said in gentle riposte and wrapped her arms around Addison, feeling the delicious sensation of their bodies curled around each other in the Jacuzzi.

"I might drown you if we keep this up in here." Addison suggested as she kissed the side of Meredith's neck, making Meredith's toes curl in the water.

"Well, we can come back to it, the water is not going anyplace." Meredith breathed, the coil of arousal in her lower abdomen, that seemed to be always at the ready when it came to Addison had sprung to live at the first kiss and now it was demanding attention and would not be ignored.

"Works for me." Addison said and rose to her feet, bringing her body up out of the water right in front of Meredith.

"Oh my God." Meredith moaned, unable to control herself at the sight of Addison's wet body rising out of the water, each rivulet marking her lover's curves and slopes as she moved.

Snapping to attention, Meredith rose to her own feet, automatically accepting the towel she was handed and drying herself quickly. They had not managed to dunk their heads under water yet, so it was with damp hair and steaming bodies that they stood facing each other in the bathroom.

"Don't look at me like that." Addison warned.

"Why not?" Meredith queried, wanting to play with fire.

Needing to, actually.

Addison did not answer, instead she stepped forward and grabbed Meredith, pushing her against the cool tiles of the wall next to the sink. The bathroom was steamy and warm so it was a shocking contrast but Meredith did not care, what she cared about was Addison who at this moment was leaning in to kiss her with an intense, hungry look on her face.

Oh my.

Meredith's was not able to complete the thought before Addison kissed her, hungrily. The feel of slick skin under her fingers was intoxicating and she could only react as Addison pushed Meredith's legs apart with a strong thigh. Addison pulled their mouths apart, gasping for breath in the steamy room as she looked at Meredith.

"Tell me what you want." Addison asked.

"I want you." Meredith whispered in response.

Addison reacted at once, sliding her hand along Meredith's thigh and then around it, and up and then she slid three of her fingers into Meredith's body while Meredith could only hang on, her nerves and her mind overwhelmed by pleasure and by Addison.

"Oh my God." Meredith managed to finish her thought this time and Addison was spurred on by the exclamation, her hand moving faster while her mouth kissed along the side of Meredith neck.

There was no space between their bodies, it was just sweat and steam and skin and desire and Meredith was glad that Addison was strong enough to hold her up as without her lover doing just that, Meredith was certain that she would be on the floor by now.

Orgasm was not long in arriving, especially when Addison moved her mouth close to Meredith's ear and whispered: "Come for me."

Meredith felt her body surge in reaction to the softly spoken demand and just moments later she was coming, her climax pouring over her body in a flood of pleasure that was intense enough to make Meredith see stars.

Oh wow. Oh fuck.

Meredith's hands slipped on Addison's smooth back as she sobbed with pleasure.

Then it was over.

Christ!

Managing to somehow stay upright even as her hands were slipping along Addison's skin, Meredith could only stand shakily in her new bathroom and marvel the whole situation, at Addison and at this moment right now.

Eventually Meredith came back to herself and regained her footing. Addison seemed to sense this and pulled back slightly, allowing Meredith to stand up fully against the bathroom tiles. "I like our new bathroom" Meredith murmured softly as she wrapped herself around Addison and took a deep breath.

"Me too." Addison replied, her voice laced with heat.

The sound of it caused a cascade of reaction in Meredith. She had to have Addison and she had to have her now. "Come on, darling." Meredith murmured, pulling away from Addison and tugging her out of the bathroom towards the bedroom.

Addison followed along willingly, her footsteps seeming loud in Meredith's wake. "Lie down." Meredith instructed, gently pressing Addison to sit and leaning in to kiss her deeply, gently, completely.

Her lover complied easily and lay back on the bed and Meredith watched hungrily as Addison moved restlessly in anticipation. Meredith dropped to her knees beside the bed and kissed along Addison's hips, biting a jutting hip bone gently and causing Addison to squirm in reaction. By now her lover was gasping and Meredith was loathe to tease Addison any further so she went lower on the redhead's body, easily parting willing thighs as she moved her lips along the fine hairs under her mouth.

"You're beautiful." Meredith murmured.

It was true. The expanse of glistening flesh that was exposed in front of her was beautiful. Meredith did not hesitate to lean forward and taste, running her tongue along engorged lips and then wrapping her arms around strong thighs as she committed fully to bring Addison to ecstasy.

Addison moaned and lifted her legs to bring her heels onto the edge of the bed, opening herself up even more to Meredith's questing mouth and tongue and Meredith could feel Addison begin to peak even before she had even really started to do anything. It was very satisfying to know that Addison had such a strong reaction to her and as Addison began her climax, Meredith could only hold on and ride it out with her lover.

It was unbelievable. Like nothing else in her experience.

As they both lay panting some moments later, Meredith felt a sense of peace wash over her and closed her eyes, comfortable in her intimate position of resting her head on Addison's lower abdomen as they caught their breath.

"I love you." Meredith said softly after a while.

Addison heard her. "I love you too." Came the quiet reply as they rested together so comfortably.

It was a perfect moment yet again and Meredith thought that she might burst from the overwhelming feeling of it all.

It was only later, when she lay in bed, bathed and with Addison's taste still lingering in her mouth, that Meredith realised what the hell the matter with her; she was happy.

How was that even possible? Meredith had never thought that she would achieve this state of being.

Of course, the reason why was Addison. It was plain and simple.

Still, as Meredith lay in bed with her lover fast asleep cuddled up against her side, Meredith could scarcely believe her luck.

In the morning, Meredith found herself still cuddled up against Addison as they enjoyed a few last minutes of peace and quiet before their respective days had to begin. Addison was being unusually quiet and seemed to be enjoying her morning cuddle and Meredith was certainly not complaining.

The bedroom door opened and Cristina poked her head around the corner. "Are you two having sex?" She asked bluntly.

"What? No." It was Addison who answered and Meredith could not help but giggle at her lover's tone.

Cristina let go of the door and crawled up onto the bed, looking expectantly at Meredith. "Sorry, I have not trained her yet." Meredith said to Cristina who was beginning to look confused, actually.

"Trained me?" Addison seemed to be befuddled at the addition in her bed.

"Yes, darling. Would you go and make some coffee, please?" Meredith batted her eyelashes at Addison and knew that the redhead would unable to resist.

"Geez." Addison said in a good humoured way as she began to disentangle herself from Meredith and reached for her dressing gown. "Have fun with my future wife." Addison grumbled in a good natured was as she stumbled out of the bedroom to go make coffee.

"I thought you said you had not trained her yet?" Cristina remarked as she crawled into the bed with Meredith.

"Notice I had to ask?" Meredith replied with a laugh and turned to look at her best friend.

"Ah. Yeah." Cristina answered as she got comfortable.

"So, what's up?" Meredith asked, focusing her attention on the other woman and curious as to why exactly Cristina was there.

"Teddy." Cristina said, rolling her eyes.

"Ah, do I need to go dig out my shovel? You know, we got some new ones when they did the landscaping." Meredith asked lightly.

Though Cristina was now with Jackson, it still had to get under her skin sometimes to work with Teddy even though Meredith knew that Cristina genuinely liked the Heart Surgeon. Cristina had loved, or did love Owen, and Teddy had effectively come between them, so it was quite the double edged sword.

"So, tell me." Meredith prompted when Cristina did not immediately launch into a diatribe about Teddy.

* * *

**Chapter 50**

Two weeks had passed since Meredith and Addison had arrived home from California. Things were going exceptionally well, so much so that Meredith could barely believe it as in her life things had a tendency to not go well for any length of time at all.

Now, she had love, a house, a career, friends, a life, and things were going well.

It made Meredith nervous somehow, deep in the back recesses of her subconscious in any case. It was not a comforting undercurrent to have and Meredith wondered if she would ever have the ability to trust that a situation was as it appeared to be.

Right now she was at work and the day had been long. Too long. She wanted to get home and go to bed. This had been another phenomena that being with Addison had instilled in her. Meredith found that she wanted to be home when Addison was home, or in anticipation of Addison coming home.

Moving through the hospital Meredith was in search of Cristina. Her friend had indeed hooked up with Jackson Avery, a huge departure from her usual spate of intense and older and troubled but powerful men. Meredith figured that Cristina had decided to take a grab at some simple happiness and good sex to fortify herself for her next angst-filled relationship, whenever that occurred.

Meredith knew that there was almost no chance that Jackson and Cristina would work out in the long term but for now she was very happy for them. She also needed to talk to Cristina about swapping shifts tonight. Meredith had a cardio thing tonight so she knew that Cristina would probably jump at the chance.

If Meredith could find her, that is.

Addison had paged her earlier and asked what she would be doing tonight so Meredith was intensely eager to see just what Addison was up to. "Cristina." Meredith called out as she spotted her friend walking down a corridor.

Cristina turned at once towards Meredith and Meredith hurried to catch up with her. "You want my cardio shift tonight. I'll swap you for your next ortho or plastics gig." Meredith asked without preamble.

With Cristina preamble was not needed.

"Sure." Cristina said simply. "Sucker." She added and Meredith laughed.

"Thanks." Meredith said.

They walked together for a few moments before Meredith's curiosity got the better of her. "How are things with _pretty boy_?" Meredith was genuinely curious.

"Sugary. I may be getting some cavities." Cristina said flippantly but Meredith could tell that Cristina was happy to be with Jackson for the time being anyway.

"You like him." Meredith said, nudging her friend. "Yeah. Now shut up or your ruin my rep." Cristina nudged Meredith back as she said the words and all was right in the world once more.

Meredith decided that she would now know what to do without Cristina in her life. It would be a very incomplete place without her. "Gotta go, booty call." Cristina exclaimed suddenly and Meredith looked over to sport Jackson Avery standing by the board.

"Did you just say _booty call_?" Meredith inquired, incredulous at her friend's choice of words.

"Shut up." Cristina said absently and veered off in the direction of _pretty boy_.

Laughing at the apparent absurdity of the world, Meredith rummaged for her phone and proceeded to call Addison. Hopefully the redhead would be available, but if not Meredith would simply leave voicemail.

As it turned out, she as transferred to voicemail, which was not so surprising. Addison was in high demand, she was one of the best after all. "Hi Addie. I got Cristina to swap with me so I will be home at a decent hour. Can't wait to see what you're up to. I love you." Meredith finished the call and started to try to think of ways that would actually allow her to leave somewhat on time today.

What did Addison have planned?

Meredith had become accustomed to the redhead's little quirks over the last while as they had settled in to living together in their own home, versus what it had been before, which was the place where Meredith had lived.

One of Addison's quirks was arranging surprises. It seemed that her lover delighted in things like flowers and diners and dates and dancing. Or simply taking Meredith out for coffee but somehow making it magical when she did so.

Anticipation coiled in Meredith's abdomen as she hurried to finish her day.

She could barely wait to see what Addison was up to now.

* * *

When Meredith finally arrived home a couple of hours later she was tired and hungry. Hopefully Addison's surprise included food and rest.

Pulling up to the curb and parking, Meredith noted that Addison's car was parked on the curb. Normally it might be in the garage, but for whatever reason it was not today. Meredith did not have the energy to think of reasons why. It was just an observation.

Addison's stuff had arrived a few days after they had returned from California and it had been fun figuring out how to slot Addison into the house and by now, it truly felt as it Addison was part of the house and home, right down to her hot little car and the extravagant little touches that made Addison who she was.

Meredith did not spend inordinate amounts of time pondering the differences between Addison and herself, they seemed to work together, but sometimes it was glaringly obvious. While Meredith herself did not necessarily have any financial issues, her student loans had accrued, despite having won scholarships and having inherited a sum of money from her mother when she had died.

She was better off than many of her peers, but overall until she actually became a fully fledged doctor and started making enough money to be in the black, she had to be careful about spending, especially as she had allocated basically five years worth of budget on her part of the home improvements they had made.

It was worth it thought.

Addison pounced her as soon as Meredith entered the front door. "Hi!" Addison said happily, hugging Meredith tightly to herself and then grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the kitchen. "I bet you're hungry." Addison murmured as Meredith bemusedly allowed herself to be led around the house.

"I am." Meredith conceded and Addison beamed at her.

_What was she up to?_

"Time to eat then." Addison said simply and when they entered the kitchen Meredith saw a spread of Mexican food and Corona laid out. "Where's the Tequila? " Meredith inquired somewhat bluntly.

"Later, darling." Addison soothed and sat Meredith down.

"Now, eat, drink and be merry and let me have some fun. I can't wait to show you something." Addison sounded almost giddy and Meredith looked at her girlfriend, trying to discern what on earth she was up to.

Addison gave no clues, though.

Meredith would just have to wait and see and she obviously needed to eat first as Addison was expectantly assembling a fajita for her to eat. Well, Meredith supposed there were many worse things in the world than having a beautiful woman make her food, or well, at least put it together for her.

Eventually hunger won out over curiosity and Meredith proceeded to eat with gusto, happy to be with Addison and deciding that whatever the other woman was up to, it could wait until after they had eaten.

Addison cracked open a beer for Meredith and handed it over and then proceeded to do the same for herself. "To us." Addison said and offered her bottle in a toast.

Amused and charmed, Meredith clinked bottles with Addison and drank a large swallow of beer. "What are you up to?" Meredith asked as she set aside her beer to fcus once more on her food.

"You'll see." Addison replied enigmatically, looking and sounding far too pleased with herself, actually.

The food was good and the company was better so Meredith refocused her attention. She could not help but wonder just exactly what awaited her after dinner, though.

The sound of the front door opening caught Meredith's attention and Alex walked in, being as subtle as a herd of stampeding elephants. "Yo." He said, moving towards the fridge and opening it up to look inside.

"Don't throw out your leftovers." He finally said after a few moments of futile gazing into the fridge before he turned and left the kitchen.

"He's such a gentleman." Addison mused, taking a bite of a tortilla chip and leaning back a little, obviously working on some kinks in her shoulders.

"He certainly is." Meredith agreed as she reached for her beer again.

* * *

"Trust me." Addison said as she walked Meredith through the house in the direction of the garage.

"I do." Meredith replied, she was blindfolded so she had to trust Addison.

It was an easy thing to do.

Feeling a shift in the air in front of her, Meredith smelled concrete and oil and realised that they had entered the garage.

_Huh, what was in here?_

"Okay, I am going to take off the blindfold, but keep your eyes closed, alright?" Addison said, sounding like a kid at Christmas.

"Okay." Meredith promised, feeling a little like a kid at Christmas herself.

The silk scarf from around her eyes was removed and Meredith was walked a few more steps and positioned. "Okay, open your eyes." Addison said, holding onto Meredith's hand as she spoke.

Opening her eyes, Meredith blinked once against the harsher light of the garage and then she focused on what was in front of her.

Wow.

It was a BMW, a hot little sexy car that screamed speed, freedom, and understated decadence.

"Nice car." Meredith said, running her free hand along the sparkling paint job and moving with Addison around to the side of the vehicle to peer into the windows.

The car was white with black accents and the interior was leather. "When did you get this?" Meredith inquired as she opened a door and felt the overwhelming scent of new car pour out.

"Today, actually. Or well, I got it a couple of weeks ago, but I had some customizations and registration and insurance details to take care of first." Addison said, still sounding like a kid at Christmas.

"Nice. You going to replace the Audi with this?" Meredith inquired as she admired the car some more.

It was a BMW X6, apparently.

"No." Addison said as she walked Meredith around to the driver's side door. "Get in." Addison encouraged and Meredith looked at her lover for a moment. "Please?" Addison smiled as she said that one word that would get Meredith to do whatever it was that the redhead asked.

Letting go of Addison's hand, Meredith slid into the car and noted that the seat was adjusted almost perfectly for her. "This is a beautiful car." Meredith murmured, running her hands along the steering wheel and dashboard.

The car seemed to beg her to take it for a drive.

"I'm glad you like it." Addison said, handing Meredith a set of keys through the window.

Meredith took the keys automatically and glanced at them.

There was a heavy brass split ring to which was attached the car alarm dongle, and the car key itself, but there also was an enamelled key fob with the letter M on it. "What?" Meredith asked with a stutter, starting to feel a sneaking suspicion about the car overcome her.

"Yep." Addison said, clapping her hands with glee. "You wanna take it for a drive?" Addison asked.

Suddenly the lack of Tequila at diner made sense.

"This is for me?" Meredith was too shocked to move.

Addison had gotten her a car? This car? A car like this? A hot, sexy, BMW?

"Yes!" Addison said happily as she slid into the passenger seat and snatched up the remote control for the garage door that was conveniently sitting in the cup holder between the seats.

"What?" Meredith repeated as she garage door opened and revealed the night.

"Come on." Addison urged and held up Meredith's wallet. "I have your driver's licence right here, Doctor Grey. Now take me for a drive." Addison urged again.

"But." Meredith said, her fingers sliding the key into the ignition.

"No buts, let's go!" Addison laughed and buckled up her seatbelt.

Meredith took a deep breath. There was obviously no talking to Addison about this, present, right now. So, she'd take the redhead for a drive and then maybe they would talk about it.

The car purred to life as Meredith turned the key in the ignition. The vibration of the powerful engine seemed to resonate in her lower abdomen and Meredith felt a surge of arousal blast its way through her blood.

"Wow." Meredith said softly and eased the car out of the garage carefully.

It felt like a racehorse under her hands, like a swift, wild animal straining at the bit, wanting to gallop at full speed and Meredith had a sudden insight as to why this sort of car had so much appeal. Turning onto her street, Meredith looked over at Addison and smiled. "Where to?" She asked, feeling a pounding that matched the beat of her heart start at the juncture of her thighs.

Addison smiled, her eyes sparkling in the night. "Someplace with a view and with privacy." The redhead murmured, her voice joining the pounding in Meredith's body.

Who knew that a car could be such an aphrodisiac?

* * *

By the time they got back to the house it was quite late and they were both tired. However, Meredith was exhilarated by the car, even while being flabbergasted by the generosity of the gift itself. Getting out of the car in the garage, Meredith ran her hands along the warm hood. Driving the car had been fabulous and she was amazed at the handling of the vehicle.

"Really this is almost too much, Addison." Meredith said as she walked around the car and approached Addison who was still looking quite pleased with herself.

"It's not." Addison said simply, leaning in to kiss Meredith soundly.

"Say goodnight to your car, I'll be waiting in bed for you." Addison teased and Meredith swatted her on the behind as she made her way out of the garage.

"Huh." Meredith said to herself as she ran her hands along the glimmering paint of the car's exterior.

"What's this then?" Meredith jumped at the voice and turned to face Alex who had just stepped into the garage.

"Sweet." He murmured, taking a step closer to the BMW.

"This new?" He asked, his eyes roving over the exterior of the vehicle greedily.

It reminded Meredith of how Alex looked at women he wanted. "It's my new car." Meredith said simply.

"You bought it?" Alex inquired sharply.

Meredith felt heat begin to creep its way up her neck as she considered the conversation. "No, Addison gave it to me." She eventually replied, realising that she could not get away with not replying.

It still sounded kind of weird to her ears.

"Addison gave you this?" Alex sounded disbelieving.

"Yes." Meredith said, feeling suddenly on guard.

"Of course she did." He shook his head as he said the words.

"What?" Meredith asked, a full blush gracing her face now as she was trapped in this conversation, a conversation that she did not want to have.

"Wow, dude. If I had known that she gave away cars like this, I'd have stayed around to fuck her." Alex said nastily and Meredith reacted as if struck.

Alex did not notice though, he had already turned to leave and was gone before Meredith could respond.

_Damn it._

She should have come back with a something at once. Why had she been caught flat footed by his statement?

Was she some feminine version of a gigolo to Addison?

The redhead had put up quite a bit of money on the house renovations, easily more than half of the share, more like two thirds, and now this car. For what?

Meredith knew that her lover had a trust fund and she also knew that Addison earned a very generous salary from the hospital and all of her private patients and whatever consulting, lecturing, teaching and papers she wrote, to name a few things.

Suddenly Meredith had a little insight as to how George must have felt when he discovered that Callie was well off. Unlike George, who had simply been an Intern and a Resident with very little income, Meredith had an inheritance of sorts and she owned her own home, so her Resident salary went much further.

However, Addison was a millionaire.

What did she see in Meredith?

Meredith turned to look at the car. It was an extravagant gift that Meredith herself would not be able to reciprocate anytime soon. And what did you get someone who had the power to buy pretty much anything that she might want anyway?

With a sigh, Meredith switched off the light and left the garage, closing the door behind her as she wandered into the kitchen were the remnants of their dinner were still laying about.

Alex, or someone had helped themselves to the leftovers, though.

Absently, Meredith stacked the dishes into the dishwasher and put away some things as she pondered her internal questions. Addison was waiting, though and Meredith wanted to be with her girlfriend.

Finally done with her kitchen tasks, Meredith closed off the lights and made her way to the bedroom, intent on brushing fajita and beer out of her teeth before joining Addison in the bed.

When she entered the room, Meredith saw that the redhead was fast asleep, looking angelic and beautiful as she was splayed out on the bed. It made Meredith's heart clench in her chest to see it and she hurried to the bathroom to brush her teeth, wanting to lay herself down next to Addison as soon as possible.

Tomorrow, or the next day, she would ask Addison some questions about money and love and cars. Tonight, Meredith simply wanted to sleep with the woman that she loved and have dreams about sleeping and nothing else.

* * *

**Chapter 51**

A month passed without too much incident and Meredith had sold her old car once she had secured a parking space a little closer to the hospital entrance. The month had also ensured that Meredith had become comfortable with the car and with the fact that Addison had gifted her with it.

They had talked briefly about the issue and Addison had reassured Meredith that she was unconcerned with the disproportionate difference in their incomes and assets. She only wanted to love Meredith and be loved by Meredith and it was just that simple. The car was an indulgence and it was in Meredith's name to do whatever she wanted with, but it was also an exceptionally safe vehicle so Addison hoped that Meredith would choose to drive it instead of the old beater that she had been driving.

Meredith had come around eventually and decided that she would ignore Alex, who was a jerk anyway. Addison had not been amused to discover what Alex had said about the car and it had only been some quick talking from Meredith that had saved Alex from possible eviction.

Addison was now a co-owner of the house, so in theory she had a say, though in practise Meredith knew that unless it was a major issue, Addison would let Meredith decide who or how anyone would live in the house. She was unlike Derek in that way; the redhead seemed to be content to let Meredith be a Resident, and young, and to learn her way despite being partnered with an eminent physician who was a little older and a lot more wealthy.

Opening the front door of the house, Meredith carefully closed it behind her and made her way to the kitchen. Addison was working a later shift tonight and Meredith knew from experience that such a schedule could easily mean that the redhead would simply crash at the hospital. This sort of thing happened from time to time, not that Meredith had to like it at all, regardless of who was working late.

Lexie was in the kitchen when Meredith stepped into it and she actually looked downcast, to say the least. "Hey." Meredith said by way of greeting.

Lexie looked up at Meredith and Meredith could have sworn that she saw a sheen of tears in her sisters eyes. "What's wrong?" Meredith asked, despite herself.

She had finally grown used to the fact that Lexie seemed to favour her mother rather than their mutual father and be more emotional about things, but that did not mean that Meredith always wanted to be privy to what was going on, though.

"Alex." Meredith's sister answered with a sigh.

Ah yes, man troubles. Though Meredith did suspect that Lexie was seriously thinking about getting back with Mark Sloan eventually, she was still with Alex and Alex was a problem. As much as Meredith actually liked Alex in many ways, she found him to be insufferable at the same time.

"What did he do?" Meredith asked almost afraid of whatever answer Lexie might give.

"He's being a jerk." Lexie said unnecessarily.

Meredith had already guessed that Alex was being a jerk, but just how he was being a jerk was the question. Did Meredith want to find the answer, that was the other question right now.

"I have not really exchanged more than two words with him in a week and whatever we have said has been him using me as his Lexiepedia." Lexie said, sounding forlorn.

"Sorry." Meredith said and she really was.

Alex was a jerk, it was as simple as that.

"You want me to kick his ass for you?" Meredith asked as she got up and went to fetch them a beer from the fridge.

"I guess you are my big sister." Lexie mused as she accepted the beer that Meredith thrust at her.

"Yeah." Meredith said as she took a swig of the amber coloured liquid.

She was Lexie's big sister.

Now that she had gotten used to it, it was kind of an awesome thing to be.

* * *

It had been a long, arduous shift and Addison was eager to get home. The thought made her pause, home. It seemed that with Meredith she finally had a home, versus simply a place where she hung her hat.

Even when she had been with Derek, she had never really felt as if she had a home, it was more of a mutual place where they had both been from time to time and like their marriage, it had been a sham, really. A front and possibly an obligation that neither of them had been fully committed to in the first place.

But now, with Meredith, formerly the Dirty Mistress, but now Addison's girlfriend, she had found what had been missing; a home.

Meredith had actually send Addison a text message an hour ago saying that she was waiting for Addison to come home and that she was consoling her sister about man troubles.

That could only mean Alex. It was doubtful that Mark was causing any issues just yet, but knowing Mark he would not be able to leave well enough alone and there would be Mark troubles for Little Grey in the future. However, Meredith's younger half-sister was an adult, so she would need to learn to make her own paths in life, even if that path left a trail of metaphorical bodies in her wake.

Right now Addison was in search of Richard Webber. She had a question for him, or well needed to ask him about something and as she could not ask her own father, she needed the next best thing, or possibly even the better choice of options, Richard.

"Hey, Richard. Have you got a moment?" Addison queried as she leaned into a conference room where Richard was sorting through paperwork.

The man did not have an office anymore, but because of who he was, the conference rooms of the hospital were gladly given over to him for when he had to work. Unlike other Attending Doctors he did not have to cram himself into small offices and share space with other doctors. It was a perk of having once been the _Chief of Surgery_.

"For you, Addison? Of course." Richard said simply and swept his papers into a pile before he waved at the chairs surrounding the conference table indicating that Addison should sit down.

"How are things?" Addison asked the man.

He seemed to be doing well these days and from the reports she had heard his alcoholism and his career were back on track. Now if only he would become Chief of Surgery again, things would be awesome, really they would. For all of them.

Derek lacked charisma and he was not a good leader. He behaved more like a businessman and the hospital was more of a battlefield in reality, than a boardroom which was what Derek liked to treat it as.

"I'm fine, Addison. But we are not here to discuss me." Richard said pointedly as he rested his chin on his hands and looked at her expectantly.

"You're not planning on breaking Meredith's heart are you? If you are I may have to forget about how fond I am of you and have to go Medieval on you." Richard said in a serious tone, though he had a twinkle in his eye as he spoke.

"Um no, not planning to hurt her. I am actually hoping to make her very happy." Addison cursed her fair skin as a blush crawled up her neck and to her cheeks at the words.

"Oh?" Richard seemed to be transfixed now by whatever possible thing that Addison may be getting ready to say next.

"Do you think it's too soon?" Addison blurted out.

"Is what too soon?" Richard queried.

"Asking her to marry me." Addison replied in a small voice, somehow feeling very insecure suddenly.

Why on earth for? She was quite a catch. Wealthy, well connected, not bad to look at, sought after. Why would she feel insecure?

This was Meredith Grey, that's why. A complicated woman to say the least and unpredictable at that. "Well?" Addison prompted when Richard seemed to be fumbling for answer.

"Um, well. No?" He replied, being very unhelpful.

"I need more than that." Addison said with a sigh.

"Well, you have to do it right. Meredith is a little skittish about this emotional stuff, though she has grown up a lot recently." Richard said after a pause. "Also, she is not very traditionally romantic when it comes to these things." He added.

"Neither was her mother." The murmured afterthought caught Addison's attention.

Sometimes she forgot just how far back this man's history went with Meredith and just how tangled up it was in good and bad things. No doubt it was part of the reason Meredith had such a complex personality.

"Right." Addison said after a while. "Will you help me?" She did not really have any other parent to ask.

Her relationship with her biological parents was conflicted and complicated, so they would not be good allies in this endeavour.

"You want my help in wooing Meredith Grey to marry you?" Richard looked like he was going to choke on his own tongue when he said that.

"Yes." Addison answered simply.

"Oh." He said. "Well okay." He continued, seeming to come to some sort of mental decision that Addison was not privy to.

"When do you want to do this?" He asked as he reached for a legal pad and a pen.

Addison smiled. Bless him, Richard was a list maker.

This could work very well indeed.

* * *

A week had passed since Addison had spoken to Richard and she now felt ready to proceed with her plan in more detail. She had ordered the ring, a rush job by one of Seattle's best and bearing in mind what Richard had said about large romantic gestures, Addison had planned a small something-or-other to occur in the kitchen in conjunction with asking Meredith to marry her.

She had also enlisted Richard's help. Turns out that the former Chief of Surgery was quite the little organiser when it came to wining and dining women.

It was no small wonder that Adele had taken him back on more than one occasion, though Addison herself was hardly the sort who could pass judgement on the behaviour of others. She tended to have either tried or to have actually succeeded in imbibing in most vices and it was only a more recent development that had led her to try to find virtue instead.

Part of her could not believe that she was considering this option. She had done some investigating of Washington State law and had learned the an equivalent to Civil Partnerships was an option here to make for a more legal union in the eyes of the law. Also, Addison had sought the advice of her lawyers with regard to paperwork that would solidify their legal standing as well.

Things like powers of attorney, living wills, actual wills, whatever joint assets that Meredith would want in both of their names in order to facilitate the protection of whoever was left should something unthinkable happen to one of them. They were morbid thoughts for sure, but Addison had learned that taking life for granted was not a good thing to do. She could die tomorrow, Meredith could die tonight. It was all up to fate, chance, destiny, luck.

Whatever _word_ worked best.

Hearing movement upstairs, Addison remembered that Lexie was still in the house and Addison needed to get rid of her to make her plans work. Alex was not a problem he was on call for thirty-six hours.

Richard had actually left some time ago after helping her set up the kitchen in an appropriate manner, but Addison still needed to get some stuff from the store and time was running short as it was.

The sound of her phone distracted Addison from what she was doing, which was not much unless trying to organise too much into too little time was a significant something to be doing. "Hello?" Addison said into the device, trying to find a pen in her purse in order to write herself a to do list.

It was her jeweller. The ring was done and ready to be picked up.

"Fabulous. I'll be there as soon as I can to pick it up." Addison intonated enthusiastically as she finally located a pen and started to scribble on the back of a receipt.

Of course she could use her Blackberry for this, but a grocery list was hardly such a significant deal as to require a PDA to organise it. Addison thanked the jeweller and put her phone away, again wondering how she was going to organise her time in order to better facilitate actually getting things done before Meredith came home.

Granted there were still a few hours left before that happened, but the Jeweller was on the other side of town and other things could take an hour or more.

"Hi there." Addison jumped slightly and looked up at the speaker.

"Hi Little Grey." Addison said warmly, even though she was distracted by what she was doing.

Lexie had by now stopped trying to insist that Addison call her something else, pretty much deciding, wisely, that Addison would call her whatever she liked despite whatever objections Lexie may have had.

"You doing okay?" Addison asked, despite herself.

Lexie looked a little down, probably man trouble in other words. It always seemed to be man trouble with her, or with most people. Hell, at one point it had always been man trouble with Addison as well, but now there was Meredith and things had changed.

"Alex." Lexie said, shrugging her shoulders.

"I wish he'd treat me like I was a person, instead of a reference library that doubles as an inflatable doll." Lexie sighed as she spoke.

"I thought things were going better between the two of you." Addison said distractedly as she rummaged in her purse for something else.

"Yeah, but this is Alex. He is not exactly consistent or reliable." Lexie extrapolated.

"Indeed." Addison replied, not really willing to go into it any further, considering that she too had some history with Alex.

There was a comfortable silence for a while as Lexie got herself some juice and then leaned down to pet the cat which had come to wind itself around Lexie's ankles, little slut of a cat that it was.

"You look busy." Lexie commented as she glanced around the kitchen some moments later.

"Yeah, planning something, but running out of time to get everything done." Addison replied as she finished off her grocery list.

"Huh. You need some help?" Lexie offered and Addison immediately brightened to the idea.

"I'd love some. You think you could take Milo to be groomed and also pick up my dry cleaning and get my briefcase from the hospital? " Addison pushed the list of chores and locations at Lexie and hoped that the younger woman would say yes and that it would take her at least an hour or more to get the list done.

"I'll let you scrub in on something fun next week." Addison offered Lexie a carrot.

"Sure." Lexie said after she glanced at the list. "Give me money." She added and held out her hand.

Addison handed her a wad of cash and snatched up the list to hand to her. "No need. Lexiepedia, remember?" The other woman said and tapped at her temple making Addison laughed lightly.

"Thank you." Addison said, sincerely.

"Sure." Lexie said with a wave and disappeared to go upstairs for whatever she needed to achieve her new to-do list.

Now she just needed to get across town to pick up the ring.

That was what was the next thing on her agenda in any case.

Right after she had a shower, that is. With that in mind, Addison headed for the master bathroom and just hoped that she would get her own to-do list done as well.

After having scooped up Milo and put him into his carrier, Lexie snagged up her purse and got ready to leave the house. She did not know really just exactly how she was going to accomplish Addison's to do list in a reasonable amount of time, but she was going to try.

Opening the front door she startled when she ran into an older man with his hand poised to knock.

The man looked familiar somehow.

"Hi." Lexie offered instinctively.

The man smiled at her and nodded his head. "Hello there. I'm the Captain, Addison's father." He held out his hand and Lexie extended her non-cat carrying hand to shake it, instantly charmed.

"I see you're going someplace. Is Addison around?" The Captain asked.

"Uh, yeah. I have some errands to run." Lexie fumbled out the words before she caught up to the second half of the question. "Addison won't be back for a while, but you can wait for her if you like." Lexie added.

"Ah well, perhaps I can accompany you then on your errands, you seem to have your hands full and perhaps you could use some help." Addison's father said amicably and Lexie smiled at him.

He had a car.

Perhaps she could get her errands done after all.

"I'm Lexie Grey." She introduced herself as she closed the front door.

"Oh, any relation to Meredith Grey?" The man asked, sounding interested.

"Yes, she's my sister." Lexie supplied as she followed him to the car and then she was further charmed when he opened the door for her.

"Where to first?" He asked and Lexie held up the cat carrier and pointed to the very mellow looking Milo inside of it.

"Milo here has an appointment to be made into a pretty kitty." Lexie explained and smiled as Addison's father stuck his finger into the carrier to greet the cat.

"Well then, we shall have to get Mr. Cat to his appointment then." The Captain said and a few moments later the three of them were on their way with Lexie feeling very pleased with herself.

* * *

The house was empty by the time Addison left for the jewellers, which was good. With some luck and some good timing everything would be set up by the time she got home and then it would just be a matter of executing her plans to perfection.

Getting into her car, Addison slid her hands-free into her ear and made a phone call to the Maximilien French Cafe, with whom she had arranged for home delivery at no small expense, but it was worth it.

"Yes, hello. This is Doctor Addison Montgomery, I have a delivery today." She spoke as she drove determinedly towards the jeweller, feeling her heart begin to pound at what she was about to do.

Was she really going to do this? Buy a ring for the woman she loved and ask that woman to marry her?

Was this really happening to her?

Apparently it was.

"Yes, the garage door is open, please set thing up in there. There is a time constraint so please be as efficient as you can be." Addison gave the instructions to the very helpful owner of the restaurant and with that done she then thanked him.

Everything would be done according to her specifications, though on her own dishes so that there would be no need for them to come back for any of their own crockery or cutlery the next day.

It was going to be perfect.

Addison drove expertly and traffic was on her side so she arrived at the jeweller in good time which pleased her to no end. On a day like this she did not need any further complications as she wanted this to go perfectly. She had no plans on ever doing it again, after all, so getting it right the first time was important.

Finding a place to park close to the entrance of the jewellery store just added to Addison's nervous euphoria and after taking a deep breath, she alighted from the car and made her way through the front door of the little boutique that she had only visited once before, when she had placed the order for the ring not very long ago.

"Doctor Montgomery." The sole occupant of the store said as soon as Addison walked in.

Turning to greet the distinguished looking woman, Addison smiled. She had liked the proprietor of the establishment from the moment they had met a short while ago and well, maybe Meredith liked jewellery and Addison could come back here some other time. She had a feeling that she could make a friend out of this woman and that was something she was keen not to miss out on.

"It's ready." The woman said after some preliminary chit chat and then she disappeared into the small anteroom attached to the storefront for a few moments, no doubt to get the ring while Addison glanced around the store.

It really was a nice place.

"Here we go." The woman said on her return to the main area of the store.

Addison swallowed hard, feeling heat begin to creep up her neck and face as she was faced with the physical reality of what she was going to do in just a short little while. Turning around she walked towards the counter where the shining object was resting on a piece of blue velvet, ready for her approval.

This was it.

Looking down at the glittering ring, Addison picked it up to bring it closer to her eyes. It was delicate, glittering with diamonds and very pretty. It suited Addison's idea of what she wanted to give to Meredith and she liked how it felt in her hands. Hopefully Meredith would also like it. Meredith was a surgeon though, so Addison had ordered a suitable chain for Meredith to hang the ring on when she was in surgery, or at work in general and she reached for that next to examine its weight and feel in her hands.

"Good. I like this. Thank you." Addison finally said and handed the items to the women to pack away for her.

"I'm very glad Doctor Montgomery." The woman said as she turned to pack away the items.

"Could you include a length of that velvet ribbon?" Addison asked, pointing at the blood red ribbon that was in a spool under the counter.

"Of course." The woman said and added a length of the ribbon to Addison's bag.

When the woman turned back to Addison she handed over her Platinum Visa Card and waited patiently for the transaction to be processed. This was a nice place. Addison decided that she would come back to it when it was time to upgrade to wedding rings. The thought made her heart flutter and Addison sighed her name on the charge slip with a flourish before she tucked away her purchases and took a deep breath.

"Good luck." Addison looked at the woman as she spoke and raised an eyebrow.

"I've seen a lot of moments like this in my time here." The woman said kindly, giving Addison a genuine smile.

"Thank you." Addison said, deciding that definitely she'd come back to this place when it came time to upgrade to other jewellery.

A few moments later she was back in her car and on the way home. With some luck she would get everything done that she needed to before Meredith was due to arrive home and hopefully Lexie had also managed to finish her errands and was once more sequestered in her room, or at least not underfoot.

Now it was time go get home.

* * *

Addison had been home for maybe five minutes when she heard Meredith pull up, pause, and back up back again. Addison's car was blocking the garage so Meredith would have to park on the street.

It was a pretty good bet that Meredith would forgive her for that.

The garage was set up in a mixture of sumptuous food and oddly homey touches. It had been cleaned and organised and dinner was set up. She just needed to light the candles and then it would be ready.

Meredith was moving through the house now, which gave Addison a few more moments to make sure that everything was perfect before she moved into the house, carefully closing the door leading to the garage behind her. No sense in spoiling the surprise before it was time to reveal it.

Where was Meredith?

Raised voices caught Addison's attention and she frowned, moving towards the sound with increasing displeasure. She had plans today, they did not involved dealing with whatever nonsense Lexie and Alex might be arguing about and why was Meredith's voice raising above it all?

What was going on?

Rounding the corner Addison spied an absolutely horrified looking Meredith looking into Lexie's room and Addison started to register what Meredith was saying so loudly as well. "Lexie, what the hell is the matter with you?" Meredith was saying and she looked downright queasy in Addison's opinion.

Seeming to sense her presence, Meredith raised her eyes and the look of abject horror in them increased exponentially. She slammed the door shut and attempted to look casual. What the?

What the hell was going on?

"Lexie, you better get rid of that mess, now!" Meredith said behind the door, sounding high pitched and shrill as she spoke.

Addison was sure she could hear a note of panic in Meredith's voice. Not good. Whatever was going on it was not good. Shit.

There was a muffled exclamation from inside of the room and the sound of a gruff male voice that somehow rung a bell in the back of Addison's mind, but she could not place it right now.

The sounds were followed by a muffled banging sound and some other noises that Addison could not identify as she moved closer to the scene of whatever crime was being committed right now.

Alarmed now Addison hurried her steps and ignored whatever Meredith was trying to tell her. Meredith reacted by opening the door and slipping into the room and slamming it behind her.

What the ever living fucking fuck?

Addison began to have a terrible suspicion that whatever was going on was something that she should not see, but why?

"Meredith!" Addison pounded on the door as she tried the door handle.

Whatever this was, she was not going to stand by idly and let the wool be pulled over her eyes about it.

No way. Not this time, and not ever again.

She had not been born yesterday and this was childish.

The door gave way as she put her shoulder into it and Meredith leapt back as Addison spilled into the room, furious beyond measure and she had yet to see what was going on.

What she saw made her stop dead in her tracks. "What the fuck?" Addison said as loudly as her voice would do without her actually shouting.

Oh my God. What the hell? What? Fuck. What?

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Addison did not care what sort of blasphemy she committed right now, in fact she was pretty sure she was about to commit murder, so mere blasphemy was of no consequence by comparison.

In fact she was about to commit mass murder, not just murder. Maybe some assault as well. Idly she wondered if there was a baseball bat in the house as she felt her stomach roil in horror and disgust at the scene set out before her.

"You have got to be kidding me." Addison raked her hands through her hair and across her face, looking between Meredith, Lexie, and her own father who was sitting up in Lexie's bed, naked as the day he had been born and with a look on his face that made Addison want to run him over with Bizzy's fucking Learjet.

She hated him this moment. She hated him with every cell and molecule of her being and if he were suddenly seized by a heart attack right now, she'd let him die and then go shit on his grave, that was now angry she was.

"Addison." Lexie began, sounding suitably ashamed of herself, but Addison was not hearing of it.

"No, you don't ever speak to me again." Addison said, pointing her finger at Lexie, horrified beyond words at what she was witnessing.

"Don't you ever even look at me again, you filthy slut." Addison hissed again to empathise her point. "You cunt of a goddamned whore." Addison muttered under her breath, but plenty loud. Lexie heard every word. Good.

"You have ten minutes to get your ass out of this house you fucking treacherous bitch." Addison continued after she took a deep breath, wanting Lexie gone.

"Hey, this is my house, I get to decide who stays and who goes." This was Meredith's voice now and it slid across Addison's broken nerves with a horrible chill.

"Your house?" Addison murmured under her breath, coming to a horrifying revelation deep inside of herself.

Turning to her father she shook her head. "I never want to see you again, _father_. Get out of my house and get out of my life." Addison said to her father with a voice so cold it would probably solve global warming. "Permanently." She added, pointing at the door for emphasis.

"Why are you still here?" Addison shouted when he sat immobile, frozen in the middle of the bed he so impudently decided to invade not so long ago. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" Addison could feel her self control slip from her fingers as her mind started to become hysterical.

If no blood was spilled today it would be a miracle.

"Addison." Her father said, sounding like the charming asshole that he was.

"No, never again. Any contact you want with me from now on you do it through my lawyer. Now get out and don't push me or I will have a restraining order made up and I'll see you in court after that." Addison's voice dropped to zero degrees Kelvin.

"Get out." Addison whispered at him, ready to commit a felony against him.

"Get out or I will fucking throw you out the window." Addison snarled, hoping that he would fall down the stairs and break his neck on his way.

The Captain did not argue with her, rather he scrambled up from the bed and dragged the sheet to the hallway with him along with his clothes and hopefully he would be out of the house soon, or Addison would make good on her promise and call the police on him and make a huge scene.

Lexie sobbed.

Bitch.

Furious beyond all reason, Addison turned to Lexie and clenched her fists. "No wonder Mark left you and Alex treats you like shit. You deserve it, you worthless sack of garbage." Addison flung at the now cowering woman.

"My God. Are you totally insane?" Addison screeched, out of control.

Addison no longer cared who or what she hurt and when Lexie sobbed again Addison felt a vicious stab of satisfaction. "Grow up, you stupid, vapid ridiculous child." Addison murmured, glancing around the room angrily.

"You know, your father was part of this too, it's not all Lexie's fault." Meredith said from the side and Addison turned to look at her.

"You think I don't know that?" Addison gritted out. "Your sister is a fucking whore. No one forced her to spread her legs for a man three times her age and she knew that he was my father. She knew, the bitch. That is what makes this even worse." Addison felt incredulous that she was explaining this to Meredith when Meredith should be seeing her point of view easily, family or no.

There was silence as neither of the Grey sisters could come up with anything to defend themselves. It was hardly surprising, there was no defence for something like this, it was wholly inexcusable and to add insult to injury, it had been done under Addison's own roof.

Fuck.

Fuck the fucking Grey Sisters. Shit.

Or well, what she had assumed to be her own roof. Who the hell knew what it was now based on Meredith's words in the past ten minutes.

"Meredith." Addison said as she turned to her girlfriend. "You were going to try to hide this from me?" Addison queried, feeling nausea begin to form in her abdomen.

"This?" Addison pointed to Lexie who flinched at the accusing finger pointed at her.

"She's my sister." Meredith said, as if that somehow justified what she had been about to do.

Pathetic.

Fuck.

"I am your girlfriend. We share a house and a life. That was my father, who has just apparently slept with your slutty whore bitch of an abortion of a sister who really needs to learn to keep her legs closed. My father! Revolting." Addison paced the room, wondering how the hell she had gotten herself into this sort of situation to begin with.

Why had she trusted Meredith?

What the hell was wrong with her?

"Hey, don't talk about my sister like that." Meredith sounded cross.

"You're defending her?" Addison snapped at her lover.

"Yes." Meredith said primly.

"She slept with my father... My father!" Addison shouted.

"She's an adult." Meredith said, raising her voice.

"She's a whore." Addison said succinctly.

Christ, what a fucking mess.

Damn the Captain. Addison would not forgive him for this. Ever. He might be able to make some amends if he behaved for the rest of his life, but she would never forgive him or permit him to cross back into her life ever again.

God damn him. God damn him to the fires of hell for all eternity.

"She's family." Meredith said, sounding like a child.

"And what am I?" Addison asked, sounding sad even to her own ears.

Meredith was silent.

That told Addison more than she needed to know.

"I guess that tells me what I needed to know." Addison sighed, feeling the threat of tears begin.

She would not cry in front of Meredith. Never again.

Lexie for her own part was weeping now, perhaps having finally understood in her infantile way the gravity of what she had done.

Too late now. Much too late.

Meredith had just shown Addison her true colours and until this could be resolved, Addison wanted nothing to do with either of them. She needed space and time to think and she needed it now before she started to throw things.

"Addison." Meredith said, her voice modulated and frightened.

"No, Meredith. Just no." Addison said raising her hands.

"I know she's your sister. But that was my father and this is just beyond disgusting." Addison waved her hands at the room.

"I thought you and I were going to make a life together, I was so sure about it" Addison choked on her words as she spoke.

"But, your _sister_ , who pays no rent and who barely contributes in any way to the household, gets your priority, based purely on the fact that she is your sister." Addison slapped the wall angrily, feeling the satisfying pain of the impact travel up her arm.

"I never asked you to pay for anything!" Meredith yelled angrily and Addison had to concede that bringing money into this was a low blow, but damn it, she was angry.

"You never asked your sister, either." Addison threw up her hands in defeat as she said the words.

"It's not a matter of money, Meredith. It's a matter of trust and it seems to be that I cannot trust either of you. It's a matter of respect, can't you see that?" Addison tried in vain to make her point understood but somehow knew that it was futile to even try.

This was not an argument she was going to win.

There was no point. It was a waste of time.

"You've known me longer than you have known your sister, Meredith." Addison said simply.

Meredith had nothing to say about that. Typical.

Goddamn her. Fuck.

"Why did I believe you said that you loved me?" Addison felt her heart die in her chest as she whispered the final words and then she turned leaving the room and making her way to the master bedroom.

She needed to pack a bag, grab some stuff, get in her car and get away from here.

Fuck the world.

* * *

Belatedly Meredith had began to think that perhaps her blind defence of Lexie was not the smartest thing in the world, especially when Addison stormed out of Lexie's room with a look of utter devastation on her face.

"Thanks, Lexie. I'm so glad I let you into my life so you could ruin it for me." Meredith said offhandedly to her sobbing sister.

A crash from the master bedroom caused Meredith to snap out of her trance and ignoring Lexie's attempts to explain this mess, Meredith hurried after Addison. She found her girlfriend throwing some stuff into a small bag and grabbing a coat from the closet.

Shit. Not good.

"Will you calm down so we can talk?" Meredith tried to break through to Addison.

"There is nothing more to say, Meredith." Addison sounded defeated but resolute as she spoke.

"So you're just leaving then?" Meredith asked, stunned completely by this turn of events.

Before Addison could say anything, Lexie stormed into the room, dressed now but still looking very much like the little slut that Meredith had to agree that she was. "Addison, I'm sorry." She pleaded and Addison glanced over at her contemptuously.

"I don't want to talk to you, Lexie. I thought I had made that clear." Addison said bitingly at Lexie and even Meredith had to flinch at her tone.

"But." Her sister tried to break into Addison's defences as well, but at this point even Meredith was too annoyed to give a damn about Lexie's feelings about anything.

"No, Lexie." Addison said again, this time sounding more angry.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, you've got to believe me." Lexie pleaded, ignoring Addison's warnings.

"You're a stupid child, Lexie. Saying sorry and I did not mean it in a situation like this is akin to spitting into the ocean. It means nothing. Nothing." Addison extrapolated while she finished packing.

"Get out, Lexie." Addison repeated and when Lexie hesitated again, Addison lost whatever was left of her patience.

"You're not a kid anymore, Lexie Whore. This sort of mistake is unimaginable. Get out of my sight if you want your sister to actually be able to say goodbye to me." Addison lashed out angrily, stabbing at Lexie with her words and both Meredith and Lexie flinched.

Good.

Lexie, never really realising when to shut her mouth opened it again. "Get out. Now." Addison warned, her tone glacial.

Thankfully Lexie bought a clue and left quickly.

"Yes, Meredith. I'm leaving." Addison said, answering Meredith's questions as if there had never been any interruption at all.

"Can't we talk about this?" Meredith pleaded, unable to believe that so much had unravelled so quickly.

"There is really no point, Meredith. You've made your position and your loyalties clear." Addison replied and closed her bag and picked it up, talking past Meredith on her way to the front door.

Meredith started to feel like she had stepped into some alternate universe and was oblivious to the fact that she had started to cry until she felt a tear escape her eye and make a hot trail down her face.

"I love you." Meredith said, desperation colouring her tone, this could not be happening to her, to Addison; to them.

"This time love is just not enough, Meredith, think about it. How can love be enough when there is no trust, no respect? How can it be enough when you don't value it and cherish it and really know what it is supposed to mean?" Addison sounded downright reasonable as she spoke, but the words she was saying cut into Meredith deeply.

Throwing herself in front of the door, Meredith turned to Addison, unable to believe what was going on. "Are you breaking up with me?" Meredith asked, her voice breaking.

"I'm going away to think, Meredith. I need to think if I want to be involved with someone who won't take my side or defend me when the situation is this serious." Addison said flatly. "Your sister slept with my father. You should be livid with her. You should be furious and horrified with her. You should understand my feelings and my point of view." Addison continued.

"No, Meredith. Don't bother." Addison raised her hand and stopped Meredith before she could say anything.

"I knew that today something would change, I just did not think the change would be this." Addison said cryptically, shaking her head sadly before her face and body language hardened in resolve.

Meredith could see the moment where she lost Addison, right down to the second, actually.

"Get out of my way or I will go through you." The quietly spoken demand had the same effect on Meredith as if she had been shoved aside.

Addison paused to reach out and touch Meredith's cheek as she swept past, and for a fraction of a moment, Meredith could see the intense, soul crushing sadness in Addison's eyes and it broke Meredith's heart completely.

She had done this to Addison. Somehow she had done it and now it was too late.

Addison seemed to hesitate for long moments and for the span of a short eternity, Meredith stood in her lover's almost embrace while Addison seemed to struggle with herself and her resolve. The soulful gaze of the other woman tore into Meredith and broke her heart again and again.

Meredith tried to initiate a proper embrace but Addison put up her hand and held Meredith away, gently, but very firmly in a manner that brooked no refusal.

"Love, trust and respect come together, Meredith. You need to learn this, and until you do you and I can never be." Addison whispered brokenly before she turned away and reached for the door her shoulders slumped in defeat

A moment later the front door closed and a minute later Meredith heard the distinctive and powerful engine of Addison's car starting up and then the horrible sound of her driving away.

Oh shit.

What the hell?

Oh fuck.

Meredith slid down the wall, paralysed by this turn of events. How could this have happened?

* * *

A sound in the hallway a little while later caught her attention and Meredith turned and saw Lexie trying to approach her. "No." Meredith said, feeling her anger rise at her little sister.

Addison was right, she should be angry at Lexie, not trying to blindly defend her. "Just stay away from me before I say things to you I can never take back." Meredith said. "You should go and sleep at the hospital or anywhere. I don't care. I don't want you around me." Meredith added, not caring how much she might hurt Lexie.

Right now, Meredith could feel her own wellspring of pain begin and Lexie was in part to blame. Meredith knew that she herself was the real reason that Addison had left, but the catalyst had been Lexie.

Where was her phone?

Meredith could barely remember what she had done when she had come home even though it had been only a little time ago. She could only remember the sound of Addison leaving and her parting words.

Some time passed during which Lexie wisely left and Meredith found herself unable to uproot herself from the hallway floor. The wood was hard and it was making her back ache, but Meredith welcomed the pain, wanted it actually.

Her musings were interrupted by a furry nudge against her bare arm and Meredith looked over to see Milo rubbing himself against her.

Milo.

Meredith snatched up the little cat and hugged his tiny protesting form tightly to herself as she buried her face into his soft fur. He smelled clean and was purring and something hard poked Meredith in the forehead.

Curious, Meredith put the cat into her lap and examined him, noting an expensive ribbon around his neck that she had not seen before.

What was that?

Reaching around to feel the cat's neck, Meredith's fingers encountered the hard thing that had poked her. Slipping the ribbon from Milo's neck, Meredith held up the object and felt her heart stop in her chest.

It was a ring.

A beautiful, delicate, very expensive looking engagement ring.

It also looked to be suspiciously Meredith's size.

_Oh my God._

This was what Addison had meant when she said she had been sure something would change today but had not been expecting the change to be what had actually happened between them.

_Oh my God._

Rolling to her feet and in the process dumping the indignant cat to the floor, Meredith brought the ring closer to the light and felt her heart seize again.

What had she done?

When would she grow up?

She needed to catch up with Addison and she needed to do it now.

Grabbing her coat and bag, Meredith double checked that her phone and wallet were in it and made her way to the garage. Addison could not be going anyplace tonight, with some luck she would be at the hotel she normally was at when she was in Seattle.

With some luck. Meredith just hoped that Addison wanted to be found.

Opening the garage door, Meredith stepped in and was immediately assailed by the smell of food and candle wax. Looking up in confusion, Meredith blinked at the sight in front of her, remembering only belatedly that her car was on the street and not parked in the garage.

The garage was decorated and Meredith was sure that she had never seen it so clean before. There was a table and two chairs, candles and covered plates of food. Meredith fiddled with the ring in her fingers and felt fresh tears start.

Shit.

Moving closer to the trays of food, Meredith opened one up and stepped back in surprise. It was the same dish that Addison had eaten on their first date. Looking around the garage again, Meredith had the slow realisation that Addison had recreated their first date, after a fashion and the ring in Meredith's hands was the final testament as to what Addison had planned to do during their dinner.

Meredith would have said yes.

However, now she did not know if she would ever get the chance to hear Addison ask the question at all.

Addison.

Rushing back to the house, Meredith put the cat down and snatched up her bag and dug around it in until she pulled out her phone and then she hurriedly dialled Addison's number.

No answer.

Next, Meredith dialled the hotel where Addison liked to stay, hopefully they would tell Meredith if Addison had checked in. After all, Addison was her boss and Meredith could always use that to gain the needed information.

"No, I'm sorry, Doctor Grey, it does not appear as if Doctor Montgomery has any plans to spend the night here tonight." The front desk of the hotel informed her with relative ease and Meredith distractedly thanked the woman for her time.

Great.

Now what?

Meredith sand down to the floor again and laid her head in her arms, defeated.

How had this happened?

Why had she once more let something wonderful and good slip out of her fingers like dry sand on a windy day?

It seemed that fate was against her and she was destined to be alone, without love simply because she did not know how to deal with love and how to keep love and how to nurture it.

Would she ever learn?

With a sigh, Meredith looked up at Milo who was staring at her with his inscrutable green eyes, almost goading her into doing something.

_Come on, bitch. Get up and get after her._

He seemed to be saying, oblivious and uncaring about the huge tears that were coursing down Meredith's face as she silently cried for the loss of something so good and right.

_Well, bitch?_

The cat blinked at her contemptuously, seeming to project the words with his hard feline eyes.

Great, now she was having hallucinations about the cat and each moment Addison was getting farther and farther away from her.

Damn it.

Meredith scrubbed her sleeve against her face harshly and sighed. The feeling of despair was getting stronger and stronger and she did not know what to do about it. Addison had left and there were just ruins left now.

Ruins and a ring and the tatters of Meredith's heart.

Her mother was right, Derek was right. Everyone had been right. She was unlovable and that was all there was to it. She was simply Meredith. Ordinary, screwed up and doomed to be lonely and alone in this life.

Would she ever learn?

It seemed that she never would.

Rising to her feet slowly, Meredith made her way to the bedroom and crawled onto the bed, grabbing Addison's pillows from underneath the covers and hugging it tightly to herself as she slipped more deeply into the feeling of gloom. It was oppressive yet somehow familiar and comforting.

Addison had left.

The one true love of her life was gone.

So be it...

**Epilogue**

Thankfully it was the weekend, not that it really mattered what time of the week, or even what year it was. Addison was gone. She had left two days ago and Meredith was still in shock. With only Milo as company, she had been staring at the same spot in the ceiling of the bedroom for most of the past two days.

There had been some intermittent breaks, to shower, to make sure that the feast that had been so carefully arranged in the garage was disposed of before it evolved language skills and ran away and to force herself to gag down something to eat every now and then. Other than that, Meredith and Milo had been occupying the king sized bed in what was supposed to be Addison and Meredith's bedroom.

Except Addison was not here.

She had left.

All because Meredith was an idiot.

Why would she never learn?

Lexie at least had not attempted to come home and Alex seemed to be staying away as well, though Meredith would confess that she would not necessarily be aware if either one of them had showed up in the last forty-eight hours or not.

She had screened calls as well, everyone had tried to call her, including Addison's father, but no Addison. That was the only call Meredith was going to answer and yet she had not called, would probably never call again.

So, Meredith lay in her bed, with Milo as her company. The cat had taken up residence at her side and aside from occasionally disappearing to do some cat thing, he had not really left her side and Meredith had come to rely on the subtle vibration of his purr to maintain some shreds of her own sanity. If that was possible.

Why had she been so stupid?

Of course Addison was right, family loyalties and impulses aside, Lexie had been in the wrong and what she had done by sleeping with Addison's father had been unforgivable, really. There were limits to the insanity that blood-ties and friendship could allow.

And Meredith had betrayed Addison by not standing up for her, with her. She had been a child and Addison quite rightly had left, but the wreck she had left behind was something that Meredith had been unprepared for, actually.

Addison had become her life, her everything, and now she was gone.

How the fucking hell had this happened?

The vibration of her phone caught Meredith's attention and she snatched up the device, glancing at the display: Cristina.

Meredith put the phone down again and focused her attention on scratching Milo behind his ear in just the way he liked it especially. The cat purred louder and showed his appreciation by digging his claws into Meredith's thigh and kneading. Meredith barely felt the needle-like pricks as she rolled over in the bed and curled herself around Addison's pillow once more.

What was Addison doing?

Where was she?

Was she okay?

A few more calls to likely locations around Seattle had pretty much confirmed to Meredith that her love was no longer in Washington State, or if she was she was someplace really obscure.

No doubt Addison had gone back to California, to Malibu.

Was she okay?

Angrily Meredith scrubbed away the fresh tears that started to cascade down her face as Milo settled himself at her back. How could she still cry? One would have thought that she would have run out of tears by now.

How had this happened?

No answer. Not from her own consciousness, not from the cat, not from the universe at large, either.

Fuck.

* * *

"Come on." Cristina Yang said to her posse.

She pushed open the door to Meredith's house and stepped in.

Well, it did not smell as if anyone was dead, that was always a good sign in Cristina's mind anyway. Glancing over her shoulder at the accompanying support she had brought Cristina led the way to the bedroom.

That was where Meredith would be and in anticipation of almost anything, Cristina had brought the big guns with her. Miranda Bailey, Callie Torres and Arizona Robbins were all trailing behind her with determined looks on their faces.

Now to find out what the hell was wrong with Meredith. Also, where the hell was Meredith anyway? There was no sound coming from the inside of the house, it was still like a tomb and that gave Cristina the willies, to put it mildly.

Her best friend had not been taking calls for two days and had not been seen since leaving work two days ago. Something was terribly wrong and even Cristina herself was not privy to what it was. Better not be that Addison and Meredith were locked in a long weekend worth of lesbian orgy.

There were some thing that Cristina would prefer not to see.

The fact that Lexie had been at the hospital for the last two days and Alex had been with whatever fuck-buddy he had at the moment, versus at home, was indicative of something having gone seriously wrong, though.

Pushing the door open to reveal the bedroom and Meredith, who was laying in the middle of the enormous bed that Cristina herself had given a test ride to. There was a pussy in the bed with Meredith, but it did not belong to Addison Montgomery. Rather it was furry and feline and went by the name of Milo.

"This is serious." Bailey murmured from behind her.

Cristina had to concede that this was the truth.

Meredith barely reacted to them entering the room. What the hell was going on?

Despite grilling Lexie at the hospital, Cristina had really not gleaned anything useful as to what was actually going on with Meredith. All she knew was that Addison was involved, Lexie looked guilty, and Meredith had fallen off the radar.

It was time for Doctor Cristina Yang to take care of business, in other words.

"Well, let's get to it." Cristina said as she led the others into the room and walked over to stand by the bed near Meredith's head.

Her friend did not look well, not at all. She looked like she had not slept in days and that she had been crying non stop for those days. Meredith was pale, her hair was greasy and she looked utterly defeated.

Cristina could not believe that Lexie was simply lounging at the hospital like some coward. Even if Lexie had been the source of this consternation with Meredith, she should have had the guts to check on her sister, especially after not seeing or hearing from Meredith for days.

It seemed that Cristina had to do everything herself these days.

So be it.

"Cristina." Meredith finally reacted to Cristina's presence.

That was a good sign. Maybe.

"What is it?" Cristina asked, deciding that initially she would do her best to be gentle, she's leave harsh for later, once she knew what was going on.

"Addison left." Meredith murmured and opened her hand revealing something shiny and sparkly.

Cristina knew what it was at once.

An engagement ring.

She herself had once been in possession of one. Burke had give it to her.

That seemed like a lifetime ago now, actually and so much had happened since it almost felt like she was remembering a different person; not herself.

Why would Addison have left but have also given Meredith a ring? And why was Meredith in a borderline catatonic state? What the hell?

"We're going to need coffee and sugar." Cristina said out loud.

Even if Meredith did not need it, Cristina herself did need it. Whatever was happening her was going to require a lot more than simply prying Meredith from her bed and asking her to elaborate on the last two days of her life.

She was going to suggest tequila, but it was not even noon and they needed Meredith to be coherent, not drunk.

Bailey turned to Callie and Arizona. "You two, coffee and sugar and make it snappy." The formidable surgeon said in her best command voice.

Arizona and Callie all but saluted as they turned on their heels and made their way out of the bedroom.

Milo seemed to sense with hit cat radar that they were on their way to the kitchen, so he leapt off the bed and made a beeline to follow them.

Lucky cat. Cristina mused.

Now, what the hell was going on with Meredith?

* * *

"Grey!" Miranda Bailey commanded.

She had no idea what the hell was up with Ellis Grey's child, but this was pathetic and Bailey was not going to put up with it.

Meredith reacted as if a fire had been lit under her. "What?" She asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

She did not look very good.

"What the hell is going on with you that I had to come all the way over here and leave my hospital alone?" Bailey decided that this young Resident needed some reality insertion.

"Addison left." Meredith breathed, looking like she would cry again.

"No crying. Tell me why she left." Bailey commanded gently.

They needed the whole story so that they could fix it.

And where the hell were Torres and Robbins with the coffee anyway?

"It's complicated." Meredith said finally when Bailey managed to look impatient enough.

"Life is complicated, Grey. Now out with it." Bailey pressed again.

"Lexie slept with Addison's father and I took Lexie's side." Meredith blurted.

It took a lot to make Doctor Miranda Bailey speechless, but she was speechless. How did one respond to a statement like that? No wonder Meredith was all messed up, how could any sane person not be messed up by something like that?

"What the hell?" The voice of Cristina said from beside her. "You're joking. Please tell me you're joking." Cristina intoned as she sat down on the bed next to Miranda and looked decidedly queasy.

"Yang, the issue here is not that Lexie slept with Addison's father." Bailey said patiently, even though inside of her head she was blinking in disbelief.

"It's not?" Cristina looked confused, bless her.

"No, the issue is that Grey here seems to have an engagement ring in her hands and no girlfriend to wear it for." Bailey stated just as Torres and Robbins entered the bedroom again bearing coffee and possibly every bit of sugar that the house contained.

The cat slipped in behind them and there was a break in the proceedings in which everyone ended up with a cup of coffee in their hands and a surface to sit on.

Boy would Mark Sloan enjoy this view, four women sitting on a king sized bed with Bailey presiding over the proceedings.

"Okay, Grey. Start from the beginning, tell us the details, but remember we haven't got all day. We have surgeries to get back to and you need to get after your girlfriend before it's too late." Bailey said as she took a big sip of her scalding hot coffee.

Meredith sighed. "Fine." She finally said and in turn took a sip of her coffee as well.

"This started two days ago..." She began and all four of them leaned closer so as not to miss a thing.

It took two pots of coffee and all of the sugar in the house, but eventually Meredith had told her whole story and was now sitting in the kitchen while Milo was indulged with a can of tuna and the assembled surgeons considered options.

"You have got to go after her." Bailey said as she put her cup into the sink.

That was the only solution to this problem.

"Yes. You need to pack a bag, and get going. She has a two day head start on you, but unless she has left the country you can catch up with her." This was Callie who spoke up next and as she spoke Miranda saw her step closer to Arizona and grasp the blonde surgeon's hand.

"Love is worth fighting for." Arizona said softly and Meredith seemed to begin to register what they were telling her.

"You can thank me later, Mer, for brining my posse along, but now you have got to get into the shower and get going." Cristina interjected in her no nonsense way.

Bailey could not help but think that Cristina was in many ways a kindred spirit to herself, even though they were so different. While she'd never admit it to the formidable Doctor Yang, Miranda quite liked the woman and knew that she would go far if only she kept her priorities in order.

"Well, Grey. I see you still sitting there." Bailey prodded Meredith.

"Go shower, now. We'll clean up here and then leave but I will be checking later and if I find you here sulking and feeling sorry for yourself when I come back there is going to be hell to pay." Bailey commanded and Meredith looked at her with a deep look of gratitude.

"And ain't nobody better tell the Interns that I have a soft side or there will be chaos in the hospital and Bailey does not like chaos." Miranda intoned as she watched Meredith leave the room with the cat hot on her heels.

After Meredith has left Bailey turned to the assembled surgeons. "Okay, let's get this done and get out of here." She said with a wave of her hand and there seemed to be a mutual agreement that it was best to let Meredith prepare by herself.

Dishes were loaded into the dishwasher and counters were wiped and when Bailey was satisfied that nothing would crawl away and evolve if it was left for a few days she guided the others out of Meredith's house.

Next on her list was Lexie Grey. That girl better be ready as when Bailey was done with her, she as never going to be the same again.

* * *

Meredith managed to take her shower and dress herself in short order, but once more she found herself sitting on the bed feeling sorry for herself and wondering how on earth she had gotten into this mess in the first place.

It was a rhetorical thought, of course. She knew the answer and now with the combined power of the most powerful women of the hospital behind her, she had, in theory at least, the motivation and the impetus to go after Addison.

Would Addison give her the time of day, though?

There was only one way to find out and Meredith was tired of feeling sorry for herself, actually. She needed to do something and right now the only person who could save her relationship with Addison was herself. There was only one way to find out if this could be salvaged and as Arizona had said; love was worth fighting for.

A sudden resolve seized Meredith and she rolled over, swinging her legs off the side of the bed and rose to her feet.

She was going to fight. Fate be damned.

Fuck fate.

Rushing to the closet, Meredith grabbed a bag from the closet and power packed some essentials as she called Richard, asking him to check on the house and telling them where she was going. Just so that no one would worry that she had gone off to do something foolish like take another swim in Elliot Bay, or something.

She'd call Derek later and ask for some personal time, use up her sick days if need be. Addison was worth it. The redhead was worth everything, Addison was worth any risk or consequence.

Meredith would not be defeated, not this time..

Grabbing her purse and carefully slipping the sparking engagement ring into it, Meredith then grabbed Milo and found his carrier, putting him into it before the cat could even protest. Meredith then moved to the laundry room and grabbed the cat's food bowls and his leash. She's get food and water for both of them along the way, right now there was no time.

Meredith had a mission now and she intended to accomplish it with Milo in tow. Anyway, she'd need someone to talk to during her journey and the cat was not only integral to the whole Addison situation, he was a scintillating conversationalist as well. Meredith had learned this over the last few days of hanging out with him.

Quickly Meredith made her way out of the house and secured her bag and the cat into her car before slipping into the driver's seat and buckling herself in.

This was it. It was now or never, and never was not in Meredith's vocabulary. Not anymore in any case.

Fuck fate.

Doctor Meredith Grey was not going to be giving into fate anytime soon. What, or rather _who_ she wanted was Doctor Addison Montgomery and it was just going to be that way, somehow or other, one way or another.

As Meredith peeled away from the curb she decided that Addison would have gone to California so that is where Meredith was going as well. With her new car she'd manage the trip in quicker than she would by trying to get a flight with such short notice. She did not have a Learjet, but she had the power of her will and her will was indomitable.

Fuck fate.

Meredith was only concerned with her destiny...

* * *

"Well, what do you think she is going to do when we roll up to the house?" Meredith asked her travelling companion as she guided her car through the light traffic in Malibu.

They had been on the road for a little over twenty-four hours, stopping only for potty breaks and refreshments and a quick shower at a truck stop along the way.

"I think she'll be surprised." Meredith continued, answering her own question.

Milo looked at her impassively from the passenger seat. She had taken him out of his carrier pretty much as soon as they had left Seattle and after some initial exploring, her had settled into place on top of Meredith's jacket in the passenger seat and by and large Meredith had found him to be one of the better companions on a road trip.

He did not complain about what music she was playing, nor did he seem to mind when she talked, or when she was silent. He never said, _are we there yet_ , and did not mind how many or how few breaks she took. The cat had also consented to the concept of doing his business while on a leash, much to Meredith's immense relief, no pun intended.

It also helped that he liked junk food, though Meredith swore just as soon as they got someplace with a pet store she would buy him cat food again. Addison would not forgive her if the cat were to become a lard ass.

Would Addison forgive her for being so stupid, though?

This was the third or fourth time that Meredith had been quite stupid with regards to the redhead. The lessons of life were not exactly something that Meredith seemed to be able to learn at a quick rate, and the thing was that Addison was the type of person who needed those lessons to be learned. Meredith was hurting Addison and her reasons for doing this were vague at best and certainly had nothing to do with Addison when all was said and done.

Meredith decided that she would be going back to the therapist, just as soon as she recovered Addison and convinced her that despite whatever flaws and fuck-ups Meredith had, she was worth the effort and to please not take it all so personally each time. Meredith swore that she would try harder not to react without thinking and would also make a concentrated effort to realise that she was not always on the correct side of whatever situation.

There was always another side of the story.

_Meow..._

Milo said from beside her and Meredith glanced over at the prim looking feline. "Don't look so satisfied with yourself, you don't have the balls to look so smug." Meredith murmured at the cat.

_Meow..._

The cat replied and Meredith free one of her hands from the steering wheel to give him a scratch under the chin. He might not have had any balls, but he was one of the best males that Meredith had been aquatinted with in her time. It was no wonder Addison kept him around, really.

Hopefully Addison would be amenable to seeing the two of them. Meredith was not going to give up without a fight, she's leave if Addison called the cops and had her dragged away and then she'd post bail and come back until Addison had a restraining order put out on her.

There was no way Meredith was going to just go away and give up. She's tried that for about two days back in Seattle, it had not felt good. Not at all.

Pulling up to a familiar house front Meredith was glad to see Addison's car parked in the driveway. The other woman was home. Quickly, Meredith found a parking spot and switched off the ignition of the car and leaned back in the seat to bask in the silence for a long moment.

Milo nudged her arm, apparently eager to get out of the car, unlike Meredith who was feeling butterflies in her stomach turn into a stampeded of elephants as she realised what she was about to do.

Jesus.

Quickly, Meredith secured Milo's leash on and glanced around the cat. She's need to get the inside detailed and the outside washed, soon. The normally pristine interior of the powerful vehicle was a real mess now and Meredith wanted it to be nice, it was a present from Addison after all and hell, it was a sexy, hot little car too. Without the fast food stains that is.

It was time to go, destiny waited for no one and each minute Meredith delayed, was another minute where Addison was hurting and where the gap between them was becoming wider and wider.

Grabbing the cat and her bag, Meredith pulled her keys from the ignition of the cat and opened the door, making short work of getting out and arming the car alarm before she turned towards the house.

It was now or never and Meredith was simply not going to accept never as an option, not this time. Never again, and certainly not when it came to Addison.

It was now that Meredith had to really pull it together and fix this, no matter what.

A future without Addison was not an option. No sir, the only option was Addison.

* * *

It has been almost four days now.

Addison sighed as she looked out over the ocean, failing to see or feel the joy of its movement or beauty. It had been four days since she had seen Meredith, since they had been happy, since fucking Lexie had slept with the Captain.

Shaking her head, Addison continued her morose walk along the beach. How could this disaster have happened? What the hell?

The whole incident had prompted Addison to take steps to eliminate her father from her life, legally speaking. She had contacted her lawyers to ensure that whatever next of kin relationships, joint finances, and legal status he had in her life was eliminated as much as possible. She had also had a letter drafted to be delivered to him to outline her conditions when it came to how he was to approach her in the future.

No more simply showing up in her life unannounced and directives to stay away from her work, her friends, and basically everyone, on pain of restraining orders, civil suits or other legal consequences.

None of this mattered of course, Addison did not really care at this point, but it gave her anger an outlet and for a few hours it had given her something else to think about aside from Meredith.

Determined not to cry again, Addison paused in her walk along the sand and looked out over the water, as if it would somehow provide her with the answers to life itself.

The drive down from Seattle had happened in a blur and Addison though that she was lucky there had been no accident along the way, because she had barely been focused on what she was doing. Her only focus had been Meredith.

Damn her. Meredith and her childish stupidity.

Addison had to concede that there was this startling difference between them and perhaps she had been too impatient and too quick to react to Meredith's taking of sides back in Seattle.

Her lover was simply not experienced enough with life to know that taking sides was not a smart thing to do rashly or without thought. Everything had consequences and Meredith was only learning this slowly.

Too slowly.

Addison turned to walk back to her house. She was tired of the beach and there was always a chance that she would meet Sam on the beach and she did not want to deal with him right now, or really ever, actually.

The sand pushed its way between her toes as she walked and Addison lost herself in the movement of her feet as she made the trip back up the beach. Lost as she was in her thoughts, she almost stumbled when something wrapped itself around her legs.

Looking down in alarm, Addison felt whatever she was going to say die on her lips as she registered what she was seeing.

Milo?

"Milo, what are you doing here?" Addison finally said out loud, as if the cat could answer her question.

What on earth?

Addison scooped up the cat and looked around. This could mean only one thing and as she regained the movement in her legs Addison became aware of another thing on the beach with her, a very familiar figure in the distance.

Meredith.

"What the hell?" Addison murmured into Milo's fur as the cat rubbed itself all over Addison, no doubt ecstatic to see her, or simply needing a suitable place to deposit some fur.

Addison put the cat down again as she forced her limbs to move forward towards the mirage in the distance. Was this for real? Meredith was here?

She did not know what to make of the situation, or what she should do next.

Milo had no such qualms though and he bounded forward in the sand towards Meredith, seeming to taught Addison to pick up her pace and get with it. As she moved forward, Addison started to make out Meredith's features.

The other woman looked careworn, tired and like she had not slept in days.

And now she was here.

What was she doing here?

Addison stopped walking and waited, not wanting to seem to rush forward into an unknown situation. Plus she was still furious, hurt, and felt betrayed. It was going to take a lot more than a cat on the beach and a mirage of Meredith in the distance to make what had happened four days ago forgivable.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Addison finally asked when Meredith came to a stop with the cat winding it's way around her ankles.

"And why did you bring the cat?" Addison continued, feeling somewhat perplexed and irritated at the same time.

Meredith looked like hell, but she also looked like heaven. Addison realised just how much she had missed the other woman and as that knowledge filled her, so did the stabbing pain of betrayal. The dichotomy of emotion caused Addison to feel disoriented as she wanted for Meredith to say something.

It seemed that Meredith was also having some issues with the moment.

"I came for you." Meredith finally said, her voice sounding hoarse and sad.

It broke Addison's heart to hear it.

"The house was empty, I found Sam in his yard and he told me you were walking on the beach." Meredith continued seeming to anticipate Addison's next question.

"Is that so." Addison murmured as she started walking again, not really willing to continue this conversation on the beach.

"And the cat?" Addison repeated the question as she pointed to the playful feline who was following them up the beach.

"I needed the company as I drove, but also he was a messenger in Seattle, so I thought it fitting to bring him along." Meredith replied.

"So you found the ring." Addison said, deadpan.

Meredith leaned down and picked up the cat from the floor, and gently lifted his chin up, displaying the sparkling item nestled on the ribbon the cat was wearing. How had Addison missed that before?

"Don't worry, I know how to tie a good knot." Meredith murmured, petting Milo and giving him a kiss before she put him back onto ground and watched him dart ahead of them towards the house.

Touched, Addison leaned down to pet the cat in turn and she blinked back tears as she brushed her fingers along the ribbon he wore. It was sweet and it gave Addison a warm feeling to realise that Meredith had sought to replicate some of the aspects that Addison had planned.

Maybe there was hope, maybe not.

Addison did not give a reply right away, she needed to think about Meredith and why she was here. Why was Meredith here?

"Why are you here, Meredith." Addison asked tiredly as they stepped into the house with the cat hot on their hells.

Addison blinked in the sudden dimness as she forced back tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks despite hereself.

"You know, the last time we were together here, we were happy." Meredith commented.

"That was before you decided to side with your whore-sister against me, Meredith." Addison sniped angrily.

She was still feeling testy and touchy about that and Meredith had a lot to answer for when it came to what had happened back in Seattle.

"It was bad enough to have the Captain betray me, and to have Lexie be such a traitor, but you?" Addison shook her head as she walked to the fridge and opened it up.

She needed a beer.

"Addison. I did not mean to do that." Meredith said, softly.

"But you did, Meredith. You did. And you did not hesitate, think twice. In fact you tried to hide if from me." Addison said feeling her ire rise as she handed Meredith a beer.

No sense in being rude.

Meredith opened her mouth and looked as if she was going to say something to justify her reactions, but instead she closed it and then reached for the beer and had a long drink of it, no doubt to gain some time to think about what she was going to say next.

Eventually, she put the bottle down and looked back at Addison.

"You're right. It was inexcusable. It was an intuitive, childish, stupid reaction that I would give anything to be able to undo but I can't." Meredith sighed as she sat down on one of the stools in the kitchen and started to play with the label of the beer bottle.

Milo chose the moment to make his presence known and it was clear that the cat had needs that he expected to have filled.

Addison might have laughed, but she was not in the mood. Pushy pussy. Perfect.

"Oh, I have some stuff for him in the car. I'll go get it." Meredith said, seeming to leap from the stool as she spoke and before Addison could properly process what was going on, Meredith had left Addison alone with her thoughts and with her cat for a new moments.

Now what? Addison thought to herself as she glanced around the kitchen and tried to make sense of what was going on.

* * *

What was she going to do?

Addison was inside and she was hurt, sad, and pissed off. But at least she had not thrown Meredith out, or demand that she leave. In fact, Addison had offered Meredith a beer, no less.

Maybe there was hope?

Meredith quickly rummaged around the truck of her car for Milo's cat box and bowls, before she slammed it shut and looked around her. How was she going to make this up to Addison and prove that she was worth another chance to the redhead? How was she going to make sure that she actually changed, versus wasted another chance with Addison.

That was assuming that Addison actually gave her another chance.

It was time for all or nothing. All in, all at once. Addison was worth it and Meredith was not above begging. No sir, Meredith Grey would beg, if she had to.

With that thought in mind, Meredith made her way back to the house with her kitty items in tow, hoping that Addison would still be in an okay mood. It would be a lot harder to break through if the other woman's mood had declined.

Hurrying back into to the house, Meredith quickly made her back to the kitchen. Addison was still there, waiting, with an inscrutable look on her face. Milo however was more than happy to see here and as Meredith quickly laid out water and a can of tuna for him, she felt Addison's eyes on her.

The silence was unnerving and Meredith was beginning to second guess herself as to her chances of ever getting back into Addison's good graces.

When Meredith was done with the cat, she turned back to Addison who was still staring at her intensely. "Addison." Meredith said, taking a step towards her girlfriend.

Hopefully Addison would still be her girlfriend after this. Technically they had not broken up or anything, it was just, a hiccup. Meredith prayed that this was the case, she could not face the possibility of not being with Addison.

"Please." Meredith said, lowering herself to her knees and before Addison could protest or move away, Meredith wrapped her arms around the other woman's waist and laid her head in Addison's lap.

"Forgive me." Meredith whispered. "I'm an idiot who needs to grow up, much quicker than I have been." Meredith could feel hot tears escape her eyes as she spoke, her voice muffled by her arms and Addison's body.

At least Addison was not pushing her away. That had to count for something, right?

"It's not as simple as that, Meredith. This is not just a matter of forgiveness, it is a matter of trust. If I can't rely on you to take my side, or protect me, even from your family, when it counts, then how can I trust you?" Addison said from above her, but she was still not pushing Meredith away.

"I know." Meredith murmured, sighing as she shifted her position.

"I have no excuse for what I did. I acted without thought, I acted like a teenager who had been caught smoking." Meredith said after a moment, looking up at Addison who was silently crying now.

Oh shit.

Meredith could not stand the thought of Addison crying and yet she knew that the other woman had probably spent the last few days crying, all because Meredith was an idiot, a stupid, fucking idiot.

"I'm sorry." Meredith said as she stood up from the floor and grabbed Addison's arms, forcing them willingly around her body and pulling Addison's head tight to her chest.

She was not going to give up without a fight.

"I'm an idiot, but I can learn, Addison. Let me learn, give me one more chance. I can't promise that I won't do a stupid thing again, but I can promise that whatever stupid thing I do, it will not be a betrayal of your trust, or taking sides against you when it really counts." Meredith spoke into Addison's soft hair and felt her love begin to sob against her, the shaking of Addison's shoulders rending Meredith's heart.

She had to get Addison to stop crying, somehow.

"I learn quickly, Addison. When it matters, I learn. I am so sorry this happened. I would give anything to be able to go back and take it back. I'd give anything, my darling. Please forgive me. Please." Meredith felt her own tears burn her face as she spoke.

She just hoped and prayed that Addison would realise that she was sincere. She would learn, she would not do anything like this again. She could not live without Addison. This has to work, somehow.

_Please, God. Please..._

"Meredith." Addison said, her voice sounding tired and wary as she pulled herself out of Meredith's grip gently, but she might as well have yanked herself away by the way it made Meredith feel.

"Do you really think that you can simply waltz in here and say you're sorry and just expect me to forgive you just like that?" Addison sighed as she spoke and then she turned away from Meredith, walking towards the large glass doors that graced the back of her house.

"What else can I do?" Meredith said around her tears, wondering if she really had gone too far and if it really was too late this time.

Belatedly she realised that there should have been no this time, not after the last time. She really did need to grow up, right now.

"I don't know." Addison finally said, sounding as sad as Meredith felt.

Meredith felt the weight of the situation press down on her and wondered what the hell she should do now?

There had to be something, anything. She had come this far, giving up was not an option, but right now she felt the anguish of hot tears as they cascaded down her face and splashed onto the kitchen countertop while Addison regarded the world outside in silence.

* * *

Addison believed Meredith. She knew that Meredith was sorry and she knew that Meredith realised her error. But what Addison was not sure of was if Meredith would learn the lesson she needed to learn. This had not been the first time Meredith had reacted poorly to a situation to the point where there had been consequences.

Of course, everyone made mistakes. Addison herself made them constantly, so maybe what was needed here was giving Meredith the chance to learn, but there had to be some ground rules. Addison was not going to put up with the sort of bullshit that had happened a few days ago ever again though. Once was all the learning that Meredith would get on that level of lesson.

"Addison." Meredith said at last, seeming to come out of her sad reverie.

There was something incredibly tenacious about the other woman, Addison decided.

Good for her.

"Please, Addison. Let me prove to you I have changed, that I can learn. Let me show you, please." Meredith moved up to Addison as she spoke and it was all Addison could do to not give in at once when those beloved hands touched her.

Was Meredith worth the possible pain if this went wrong again? Addison knew that she would be unable to survive it if Meredith turned on her again.

There were no more reserves left, none.

"Okay." Addison finally said, aware that Meredith had stilled her movements and was probably waiting for the axe to fall.

"Okay?" Meredith asked in a tearstained tone.

It broke Addison's heart, but she had to remain strong, never again would they be in this situation, ever.

"Yes." Addison said simply.

"I sense a _but_." Meredith said as she wrapped her arms around Addison more firmly, seeming to be unable to help herself.

It felt wonderful; too wonderful in fact.

"And you are right." Addison said with a sigh as she turned and wrapped her arms around Meredith in return and gave her a tight squeeze.

It felt heavenly, but she needed to think so she pulled away and backed up, putting some distance between them to allow her to do just that.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Meredith. This is not an issue of mistakes." Addison said, waving her hand between them.

Though it was also an issue of mistakes, for sure, but that was not the matter at hand, right now mistakes would wait until another time to be discussed, it would be too much for it to happen right now.

"This is an issue of trust, and betrayal. It was not a misunderstanding, or a jealous outburst. It was not miscommunication." Addison said as she reached for her now warm beer, wanting to give herself a moment to think.

"This was a betrayal, and for what? I know Lexie is your sister. But what she did, it was inexcusable. Lexie was wrong, one hundred percent wrong, in the wrong, and it was also disgusting." Addison continued after a moment.

Before Meredith could speak Addison held up a hand. "No, Meredith. I don't want to hear your excuses or reasons. I want to see a change." Addison sighed again before she continued. You will make other mistakes and I forgive you in advance for those, you'll tell white lies to me sometimes and I will understand that."

"Okay?" Addison queried and Meredith nodded.

She looked relieved and frightened all a the same time and Addison desperately wanted to make it easy for her, but she could not, would not.

Not this time. They had to get over this the right way, or it would haunt them for years, or forever.

"Mark my words though, Meredith. There will be no repeat of betrayal, though. Not by you to me, and not by me to you. This goes both ways." Addison finished as she went to the phone and decided that they needed to eat and that it was time to order in.

"This goes both ways. You have every right to be angry with me if I ever do anything like this to you. Heaven forbid that I ever do, but if by some unimaginable circumstance I do, then please, be angry with me." Addison said as she held the phone to her ear and waited for someone to pick up on the other end.

A few minutes later she was done ordering dinner and turned back to Meredith who was now seated, unmoving on a chair. "What are you thinking about?" Addison queried.

"Thank you." Meredith said.

"For?" Addison asked as she hunted for her wallet.

"For giving me another chance. You won't be sorry." Meredith said succinctly.

"I know." Addison said as she went to sit by Meredith to wait for dinner to arrive.

"Do you?" Meredith looked into Addison's eyes as she said the words.

Leaning forward Addison kissed those beloved lips gently. "Yes, I do know." Addison murmured.

"But you have some sucking up to do, Doctor Grey, so don't think you are not going to be giving me foot rubs and back rubs and making me breakfast in bed for the next while, either." Addison said with a gentle laugh.

"I'd do that anyway, Doctor Montgomery." Meredith murmured and smiled fully at her.

It was breathtaking.

"I've missed you." Addison said honestly.

She really had. Life had felt empty and incomplete.

Meredith leaned in and kissed Addison fully, puling her in tight and opening up, coaxing Addison to do the same. God, it felt so good to hold Meredith again. To kiss her again.

Addison had been convinced that she would never hold the other woman again and this was just a few hours ago. It was a good thing that Meredith Grey was stubborn and driven, or this might have ended. How tragic that would have been.

_Meow..._

The indignant sound from around their feet reminded Addison of something else. Reaching down she picked up Milo and lifted him to her lap, and petting him generously as her fingers eased the ribbon from around his neck and freed the ring from his warm body.

The diamonds and gold sparkles in the evening light of the kitchen.

"Will you marry me?" Addison asked, looking up from the ring and into Meredith's eyes.

It was a far cry from what she had planned in the garage a few days ago. They were tired and tear stained, in California unexpectedly. Takeout was arriving, and who knows what would happen next, but Addison did not want to wait any longer.

She would not let this slip through her fingers.

"Yes." Meredith whispered leaning in to kiss Addison again.

Perfect...

**The End** ****

**Works inspired by this one:**

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